


Tutor Girl

by lisavslisa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Football | Soccer, Friendship/Love, High School, Love, Love/Hate, Soccer, Tutoring, footie lou, tutor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2017-12-30 17:59:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 88,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisavslisa/pseuds/lisavslisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lux Carver flew below the radar. She didn't mind it. In fact, she reveled in it. She kept her nose to the books and was rewarded with grades that were sure enough to get her into any college of her choosing. But it wasn't just colleges who were noticing her grades - her trigonometry teacher had his eye on her... to become a tutor. Lux wouldn't mind so much if it weren't a boy who found pleasure in making other people miserable. Louis Tomlinson was a bully, and Lux wanted nothing to do with him.</p>
<p>But once they get to know each other, Lux comes to realize that Louis isn't exactly what meets the eye. He's not the tormenting boy she once thought he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. xChapter 1x

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
>   
> 

Louis Tomlinson.

 

What could I even say – except he was everything I hated about boys my age. He was rude and arrogant, and all his friends were just like him. I despised how loathsome he was. I wanted less than nothing to do with him – except it was nearly impossible, being as he sat directly behind me in English class and pretty much did everything in his power to thoroughly annoy me.

 

I swear, I could feel his eyes blazing straight through the back of my head, and it made it incredibly hard to even pay attention. Every time he coughed or cleared his throat, it would throw me off even worse. But it wasn’t until I could actually hear his breath by my ear that I knew that he was really screwing with me. I was sitting so still, almost afraid to move. Chills danced up my spine as my own breathing hitched. I was so distracted by what Louis Tomlinson was going to do next that I wasn’t even paying attention to our teacher.

 

He was acting so strange – even more so than usual. I could literally feel his breath on my neck. And I swear –  _I swear_  that I heard him sniff me. It sent my mind into a tail spin. I had to know why he was acting the way he was.

 

I cleared my throat lightly as I tried to snap out of the daze that I was in. I tried as hard as I could to focus on Mrs. Mackey’s lesson, but when Louis began humming quietly – so quietly that I swear I was the only other person to hear it – I was lost again.

 

I looked at clock, realizing that there was only ten minutes left of class, and that I had barely taken any notes on the lecture.I was certain that I was going to need another seat assignment to learn anything that semester.

 

Deciding to give it one last ditch effort, I hurriedly scribbled down everything that Mrs. Mackey had written on the board, even though most of it didn’t make much sense. And just as I sat back to survey my writing, I felt my ponytail get flicked. Realizing it was  _him_ , I turned my head quickly and sent him the best glare that I could muster. He sat back in his chair, looking at me with a smile on his face before he smugly bounced his eyebrows at me. I let out an internalized growl as I snapped my face back forward and worked as hard as ever to ignore the little shit that sat behind me.

 

Louis had always been an odd character. One day out of the blue he had just appeared – the new kid in town. Well, in fact, Louis was the new kid in the country. He was originally from the United Kingdom, and transferred in to our shit-hole of a school some time during our freshman year. Of course, being the new kid earned him instant popularity, and all of the girls swooned over his stupid British accent. But I saw him for who he was from day one – and egocentric jock, who didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself.

 

Now as a senior, he was captain of the soccer team and he had everyone in our damn school fooled into thinking he was a decent person, when he really wasn’t. I knew better. Louis Tomlinson was a phony. He was their hometown hero, but to me and everyone else that he bullied, he was a menace.

 

 

As my shit luck would have it, Louis was also in my Trigonometry class, which came directly after English class. I felt like I couldn’t catch a break from him. He sat diagonally up one seat from me, so I couldn’t help but continue to steal glances at him during the entire period. I was annoyed with him and I was double annoyed with myself for giving a shit about what he was doing.

 

When we got our mid-term test results back, I was pleased to see that I had aced mine. Math was always one of my best subjects. When I saw Louis run his fingers through his hair, my eyes caught the large F and the words “see me after class” on his test. It looked as though trig was not Louis’ subject – no surprise there.

 

During the period Mr. Dixon also asked to see  _me_  after class, which had me on edge all throughout the period. I couldn’t help but dwell on it, wondering what I had done to warrant a private meeting once all of the students had left the classroom.

 

When the bell rang, everyone seemed to immediately scatter off toward their lockers, where as I was left gathering my books feeling anxious and apprehensive. Louis stayed seated in his desk, as cool as a cucumber, waiting on what our teacher needed to ‘see’ him about.

 

“Mr. Dixon, what is this about?” I asked as soon as my belongings were packed up.

“Well… it seems as though Mr. Tomlinson is not doing so well in this class…” Mr. Dixon said, looking over at his not-so-apt pupil.

“Thanks,  _teach_.” Louis sneered, rolling his eyes, obviously embarrassed about his bad grade.

“Miss Carver, I was wondering if you would be willing to tutor Mr. Tomlinson for a few nights after school.” Mr. Dixon asked me, causing my whole entire world to jump straight off its axis. _Tutor Louis Tomlinson… after school… in my free time…?_

 

 _Holy shit, what?_  No, no, no, no, no.

 

“WHAT!? Do I get a say?” Louis yelped sitting up straight at his desk, obviously appalled at the teacher’s statement.

“Mr. Tomlinson, I suggest that if you would like to graduate high school and continue on to some form of higher education, that you take this opportunity and run with it.” Mr. Dixon said sternly, causing Louis to shut up almost immediately. Mr. Dixon turned his attention back to me for an answer, and all I could do was look between the two of them, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

“ _Uh_ … I-I guess I could… for a little while.” I stammered out, feeling incredibly shanghaied into something that I really,  _really_  did not want to do.

 

Seriously, the  _least_  that Mr. Dixon could have done was talk to me about it in private instead of practically forcing me to tutor this dumbass jock by asking me in front of him. I felt the annoyance festering inside of me as I looked over at Louis skeptically and he stared back at me in the same manner before scoffing and looking away.  _Seriously, what and ass_. I was about to do him a favor and he couldn’t even pretend to be grateful.

 

“Great! How about tonight?” Mr. Dixon asked with a smile as he clapped his hands together.

 

Louis shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes, and it made me want to completely call off tutoring this dumb jock altogether. But I was soft-spoken and shy by nature and knew that I would never say no because I hated confrontation more than almost anything. I would do it a few times and hopefully be done with Louis Tomlinson faster than I could even spell out Trigonometry.

 

“I guess that would be okay.” I said hesitantly.

“Wonderful! Mr. Tomlinson, I suggest you pay close attention to this one. She just might be the one to save you from failing my class.” Mr. Dixon said with a smile on his face as he glided back toward his desk, completely pleased with himself.

 

I sent a short glare at the back of his head, even though I liked him as a teacher, and proceeded out the classroom door to get as far away from the nightmare that I just signed on to.

 

But it was easier said than done, because seconds later, Louis caught up with me at my locker.

 

“So, my place or yours tonight?” He asked me as he leaned up against the neighboring locker. I nearly choked on my own saliva as I looked over at him, my eyes as wide as saucers.

“Uhh…” I stuttered as my brain lapsed to an infantile state. I wasn’t aware that we were doing this outside of school grounds.

“My place. 6ish. Don’t be late.” Louis said, making the executive decision, as he casually pushed himself off of the bank of lockers. I could do nothing but nod as I watched him back away from me.

 

Luckily, I knew where he lived because it was only two blocks away from my own house. We rode the same bus to school for the first couple of years that he was around – well, up until his daddy bought him a bitchin’ new  _Mustang_.

 

Louis gave me one last look – a full body once over. Then I got another raise of his eyebrows and he was off, down the hallway toward Andy Walker – his best friend.

 

 _6ish_ , he had said. That meant that I had the option of showing up between 6:00pm and 6:59pm. There was no way in hell I was going to show up  _too_  early.

 

I chose to keep it safe by showing up at 6:15pm. And when Louis answered the door, it was like he had been waiting there for me.

 

“You’re late.” He said, checking the imaginary watch on his wrist.

“Last I checked, ‘6ish’ wasn’t a specified time.” I said with as much attitude as I could muster. He smirked, looking amused, and let me in.

 

We went down to the basement in the TV room, where of course, Louis was watching a soccer game.

 

“If this is how you study, then it’s no wonder you’re failing trig.” I snapped at him as I set my books down on the coffee table.

“I failed a test, I’m not failing trig.” Louis snapped back as he ripped up the TV remote from the table and made it a point that I saw him turning off the television.

“Tests are a third of the grade.” I countered, and Louis sent me a glare.

“Let’s just… come on. We don’t have all night.” I sighed, rolling my eyes at his attitude.

 

He seemed to do a good job of paying attention, which was surprising. I could tell that he struggled a lot with math, but he seemed to give it a good effort. That is, when I wasn’t catching him staring at me.

 

“What?” I snapped at him, after the third time that I felt his eyes on me.

“What?” He smirked, as he looked down at his practice sheet.

“ _Focus_.” I said, trying to sound stern as I failed to stifle the smile that tugged at my lips.

“I am.” He replied, looking back up at me through his long eyelashes, cocking his eyebrow slightly.

 

I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I looked back down at my book, feeling exceptionally weird over the moment that we had just had. Everything about the situation was weird. And I just felt awkward and  _weird_.

 

Louis was being a perfect gentleman, which was simply unbelievable. I had never known Louis to be a gentleman.  _Nobody_  had ever known Louis to be a gentleman. He even walked me to the door when I was leaving. And he watched as I walked away – still standing in the doorway as I got into my dad’s car.

 

 _Did I mention it was weird?_ This was going to be interesting, to say the least.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this has been re-written from another fandom. Also, parts of it at least, have been plagiarized before in the One Direction fandom into a story by an "author" by the name of breathingstylesfics. I was asked to re-post "her" stories on 1D fanfic websites just for the sheer fact that they were 1D stories instead of the other fandom that I had originally written them in, but I am not going to do that. Instead, I am going to try my best in converting the story over to One Direction, because then it will actually be my words and my art, instead of the plagiarized version.
> 
> So, I hope you enjoy! And I hope to receive some feedback. I would be much appreciated! :)
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	2. xChapter 2x

“How was tutoring?” My dad asked once I came in the door.

“ _Ugh_.” I said rolling my eyes as I threw my backpack onto the couch.

“That bad?” He chuckled, quirking his eyebrow at me in question.

“Dad, this kid… he’s  _weird_. And he’s a jerk.” I told him as I slumped down on the couch.

“Lux… that’s not very nice to say.” Dad warned, giving me a stern eye. I rolled my eyes again, trying to dispel all of the annoyance that had filled me just being in Louis’ presence.

“He’s the soccer kid, isn’t he?” Dad asked.

 

Of course dad would point that out. Why was being the captain of a sports team such a selling point? What happened to morals and standards? Just because he was a good field fairy, didn’t mean that he was a good person.

 

“Yes.” I said, trying not to make it sound so much like a growl.

“I hear he’s got quite the set of legs on him.” Dad said of his ability to maneuver a soccer ball down a field.

“I didn’t actually know that you enjoyed boy’s legs so much, Dad. That’s not necessarily something that I wanted to know about my father.” I said sarcastically, quirking my eyebrow at him.

“Ha-ha.” Dad said dryly, narrowing his eyes at me.

“Yeah well, soccer sucks and so does Louis Tomlinson.” I said getting up from the couch to head to my room.

“Lux, I think you need to give this kid a chance.” Dad said being more optimistic than I could stand.

“Ha! Yeah right. This is the kid who pointed out TO EVERYONE the fact that my polka dot underwear were showing through my white pants one day during sophomore year.” I said incredulously.

“Baby, that was nearly two years ago.” Dad said, trying to look on the bright side.

“Yeah and how about last year when he kicked my health book down the school hallway after I dropped it.  _Nice_  guy.” I said and proceeded to roll my eyes to get my sarcastic point across.

“Maybe he’s changed since then.” Dad said shrugging his shoulders casually. He always tried to find the good in everyone.

“Just today, he was flicking my ponytail in class, annoying the crap out of me.” I told him with a scoff.

“Well then, maybe you can be the bigger person and treat him with a little bit of respect. It goes a long way, you know. He’ll eventually catch on.” Dad smiled at me, making sure that the annoyance I was feeling was left stewing inside of me.

“You have a bigger heart than I, dad.” I sighed as I grabbed up my backpack and headed toward my bedroom.

“Give him a chance.” Dad called after me, and I rolled my eyes at the thought.

 

 

 

The next day at school, I avoided Louis like the plague. When I saw him, I immediately made a beeline for the opposite direction. I didn’t know why – I guess it was my fight or flight instinct. And well, my instinct with Louis was always  _flight_.

 

Unfortunately, I couldn’t totally avoid him. I had two classes with him after all.

 

I took my time getting to English class – making it just in time for the bell to ring. I didn’t even want to look up, but of course when I did, my eyes locked straight with Louis’ for a split second before I looked away again, taking my seat right in front of him. I felt awkward and displaced, to say the least. And it really made it that much harder to pay attention.

 

Mrs. Mackey droned on and on about  _The Great Gatsby_ , but I couldn’t pay attention. I was too busy thinking about the boy sitting behind me.

 

“Lux…” I heard Louis whisper and I silently cringed.

“ _Psst_ , Lux.” I heard him again when I didn’t acknowledge him the first time.

 

I leaned back a little and whispered, “what?”

 

Louis leaned his face up close to mine, which made me automatically hold my breath. It was a little too intimate for my liking.

 

“Do you have a pencil I could borrow?” He asked with a small smile forming on his lips.

“ _Uh_ … yeah.” I whispered back.

“Mr. Tomlinson, Miss Carver. Do you have something you would like to share with the class?” Mrs. Mackey asked the two of us.

“Uhh…” I stammered.

“I was just asking Lux to borrow a pencil, Mrs. Mackey. I’m sorry if I disrupted class.” Louis gave the teacher one of his charming shit-eating-grins that was so fake even the dumbest of dumbasses would know it. But Mrs. Mackey ate that shit up.

“It’s quite alright, Mr. Tomlinson. Please come prepared next time.” She gave him a small smile before she went back to boring the class.

“Pencil?” I heard Louis ask in my ear again.

 

I rolled my eyes and dug in my backpack for the writing utensil that he so  _desperately_  needed. When class was over, I caught a glimpse of what he used my pencil lead for – a full page drawing of some robot looking thing.  _Really?_  What the fuck? If this kid focused more on his schoolwork instead of drawing stupid doodles, then maybe he wouldn’t need a friggen’ tutor.

 

I got up out of my desk, pulling my backpack onto my back before heading toward the door.

 

“Lux. Hey, Lux.” I heard Louis say as he trailed behind me. This fucking kid _. Seriously_.

“What?” I snapped as I turned to face him.

“Jeez. I just wanted to give you your pencil back.” He told me as he held it out to me.

“Keep it. You’ll need it for when you’re  _not_  paying attention in Trig class.” I shot at him. He looked at me oddly, but just shrugged his shoulders as he tucked the pencil behind his ear and gathered up his books.

 

I turned and walked away, heading to my locker, trying to get as far away from Louis Tomlinson as possible for the next ten minutes until I was forced to sit two feet from him in the next class.

 

“What’s up with that Tomlinson guy? Is he bothering you again?” My best friend Tyler asked as he walked up to my locker.

“He’s annoying the  _hell_  out of me.” I growled as I put my tattered copy of  _The Great Gatsby_ into my locker and retrieved my Trig textbook.

“What is he doing this time?” Tyler asked with a looks of displeasure on his face.

“Get this. You’re looking at his new trigonometry tutor.” I said with a scoff.

“Shut the front door!” Tyler said, dropping his jaw open, looking completely shocked.

“I’m serious. It’s a nightmare. I don’t want anything to do with him. He’s such an asshole.” I said rolling my eyes.

“He’s cute. Really cute. Look at that butt. Maybe you two can hook up during one of your tutoring sessions.” Tyler said looking down the hallway at Louis.

“Tyler! I swear to God. Being gay does not give you the excuse to be vulgar.” I scoffed at him.

“Being gay does give me the excuse to check out that ass though.” Tyler laughed as he over-eagerly gawked at Louis’s rear.

“Gross!” I exclaimed.

“Tell me you don’t think he’s attractive.” Tyler looked at me skeptically.

“Physically, yes. Okay. But his personality just cancels that out. I can’t even. Ugh.” I said trying to shake off any desirable feeling I felt when looking at Louis’s pretty face. He had a pretty face that I would love to punch.

 

The warning bell blared through the hallway – signaling everyone to head to class.

 

“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you after class.” I told Tyler.

“Bye honey. Say hi to Louis for me.” He giggled before he went his way and I went my way.

 

After the painstaking agony of Trig class, Mr. Dixon held me and Louis back once again.

  
“So, how’s the tutoring going?” He smiled at the two of us.

“Fine.” We both said in bored unison.

“Fine?” He asked, implying that he wanted a few more details.

“She’s thorough.” Louis stated. My narrowed stare met his, wondering what the hell that meant. But of course, he just smirked at me.

“Great. Will you be getting together again tonight?” Mr. Dixon asked.

“Yup. Her place this time.” Louis said, catching me completely off guard.

“Wait, what?” I asked looking at Louis. Once again, there were the shanghaied feeling.

“Wonderful.” Mr. Dixon clapped his hands together and stood up.

 

I was left stunned.  _My place?_  I really didn’t want Louis at my place.

 

“I’ll see both of you in class tomorrow. Have a good evening. Remember, questions one through twenty-four of chapter sixteen need to be done for tomorrow.” Mr. Dixon informed us.

“Uh-huh.” Louis said as he got up from his seat.

 

I stood up too, grabbing my backpack. I followed behind Louis out of the classroom, unable to keep my vision from staring straight at his behind, thinking only of what Tyler had said to me before class.

 

“I’ll be to your house at six. And I’ll actually be on time.” Louis told me turning around quickly, nearly catching me looking at his ass.

“You said 6ish!” I argued, feeling annoyed that he was holding that against me. He just gave a little laugh as he walked away from me.

“See you later.” He said as he continued down the hallway.

“ _Ass_.” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up thinking about the double meaning of the word when it came to Louis.

 

 

“So… how’d you get so smart?” Louis asked when we were sitting at my kitchen table that night.

 

I looked up from my homework, with a glare in my eyes.  _What kind of question was that?_

 

“I didn’t piss away my potential to be smart. I don’t spend my time getting drunk and getting laid. I know what a library is and I use it. I know what studying is and I do it.” I shot at him.

 

He cocked an eyebrow at me as a smirk formed at the corner of his lips.

 

“You’re snarky.” He chuckled to himself.

“And you’re weird. Just do your homework.” I told him as I went back to mine.

 

I could feel Louis’s eyes boring into me as I tried to concentrate on the mathematical problems in the text.

 

“Do you have ADD or something?” I shot at him.

“I don’t know, maybe.” He smirked back.

“Why are you staring at me?” I asked, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

“I don’t know.  _I’m not_.” He said awkwardly as he let his gaze fall back to his own textbook.

 

I dropped the subject and went back to my own homework, hoping that it would solve the issue, but moments later, I could feel his gaze on me again.

 

“ _Seriously_.” I said looking up at him.

“What?” He asked, pretending that he wasn’t just caught staring at me –  _again_.

“Maybe you need to get on some  _Adderall_ or something so you can focus. It seems like a serious problem.” I snipped at him. He scoffed and went back to his homework, ignoring me.

 

I watched him as he skimmed over the text and wondered if this tutoring was really helping or just giving him another distraction in life.

 

“Who’s staring now?” He said without even looking up at me.

“Whatever.” I grumbled under my breath and let my vision fall back to my book.

“I’m gonna just go home.” He said as he closed his book with a loud thud, causing me to jump slightly.

“You don’t even have half of the problems done.” I told him, looking at his half written on notebook sheet.

“I’ll be fine.” He said shoving his book into his backpack.

“But Mr. Dixon wants—” I started.

“I’ll be fine.” He said, cutting me off.

“Fine.” I scoffed, dropping my protest. If he wanted to fail, I wasn’t going to stand in his way.

 

After completely packing up all of his belongings, Louis got up from his chair and left my house. And of course, I couldn’t get the little brat off my mind, even if I tried. His abrupt exit didn’t sit right with me, but I was just certain that it was just a little part of his polarized character that I’d never understand.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, here's chapter two.
> 
> Feel free to leave me a review. I promise I don't judge. And I don't bite. I just really really appreciate feedback. So seriously, do it up. :)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	3. xChapter 3x

“I can’t believe that you’re forced to tutor that asshole.” My friend Chelsea said as we stood by our lockers in the hallway before school.

 

She was staring someone down with a mean-spirited look – which I could have only guessed to be Louis, by her previous words. My gaze followed hers and I found Louis standing across the common area in a group with his friends –  _or should I say henchmen?_

 

“Yeah.” I said, watching Louis interacting with his douche of a friend, Andy Walker.

“Tell me again why you let him in your house?” Chelsea asked, looking over at me with a displeased look on her face.

“Uh, I don’t know.” I shrugged, wondering why she seemed so utterly offended by Louis.

“He knows where you sleep now, Lux. Doesn’t that disturb you?” She asked, making a disgusted face.

“He never even went in my bedroom!” I shot at her incredulously.  _Who did she think I was? Some common whore?_

“I should hope not! I meant, he knows where you live.” She said, looking back down the hallway at Louis.

“He’s always known where I live.” I told her casually as I put my books in my bag.

“Gross! Why?” She asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

“We’ve lived in the same neighborhood since he move here.” I rolled my eyes at her. Her behavior was getting a little out of hand.

“What do you guys even talk about?” She asked, looking in his direction again.

“Trigonometry.” I said dryly.  _What the hell else did she think we talked about?_

“That’s it? I mean, that’s all you talk about?” She pressed.

“What do you wanna know?” I gave her a weird look. It’s not like Louis and I had these deep meaningful conversations or anything.

“I don’t know. What do you say to each other? Like, is it awkward?” She asked, shrugging her shoulders.

“Of course it’s awkward! Louis Tomlinson was sitting next to me at my kitchen table.” I told her with a slight scoff.

“HE HAD DINNER WITH YOU!?” She yelped, sort of freaking out.

“NO! We did our homework!” I told her.

“Oh.” She said, calming down.

“What the hell?” I laughed, sending her another odd look.

“It’s weird.” She said quietly.

“He kept like,  _looking_  at me.” I told her, as I let my gaze fall back on him across the open space.

“Looking at you? Like how?” She asked, sounding intrigued.

“I don’t know. Like I’d look up from my homework and he’d be looking at me.” I told her, shrugging my shoulders.

“What a weirdo.” She scoffed.

“That’s what I said!” I told her with a little laugh.

“You called him a weirdo?” She asked, which cause a smile to pull up her lips.

“I called him weird. And I told him he should medicate himself.” I laughed, remembering the awkward conversation with him.

“Nah-uh!” She said wide-eyed.

“I did. He was creeping me out.” I told her, nodding my head.

“What did he say?” She asked, still pressing me for information.

“He left.” I told her flatly.

“ _You_  offended Louis Tomlinson?” She said amusingly.

“Not hardly. He just… he had to go, I guess.” I told her with another shrug of my shoulders.

“I still think it’s really weird that you’re being forced to tutor that stupid jock.” Chelsea scoffed as I finally shut my locker, ready to get to class.

“Eh, it is what it is.” I said, pulling my backpack onto my back.

 

When I turned to head toward class, I ran right into Louis’ friend Andy.

 

“Watch it, spaz.” Andy said pushing me off of him.

“Fuck off.” I spat at him as he went by. Andy just chuckled menacingly back at me.

 

I looked up to catch Louis’ eye, and noticed that he was smirking at me, before he continued on his way down the hallway. I felt a little uneasy with the way that Louis had looked at me – like we were friends. Like things weren’t totally weird, in a fucked up way.

 

 

 

I heard Louis clear his throat from behind me. I couldn’t figure out if he was doing it to get my attention, or if he just had an itchy throat. But when I felt a piece of paper drop over my shoulder, I realized that he had been trying to get my attention.

 

I grabbed the folded up piece of notebook paper off of my lap, gripping it in my hand as I looked up to make sure that our English teacher wouldn’t see me opening it.

 

With stealth like movements, I opened up the note under my desk before laying it flat across the top of it.

 

_My place or yours._

Four simple words and an incorrect punctuation.  _This kid needed more help than just trigonometry apparently_.

 

I hesitated coming up with something to write back, but then I grabbed up my pencil and scratched across my own message.

 

_It doesn’t matter to me._

 

I folded up the slip of paper and carefully threw it back to him, keeping my eyes on Mrs. Mackey the whole time. It didn’t take long for Louis to throw the note back and it was easy to figure out why. All he did was draw a circle around the word ‘yours’ – meaning he wanted to study at my house again. And I silently cursed myself for allowing him a choice in study venues.

 

 

“Are we going to have to do this every night?” I asked once we were seated at my kitchen table.

“What?” Louis asked, looking up at me through his long eyelashes.

“Study… together?” I asked awkwardly, feeling my cheeks heat up suddenly under his gaze.

 

He stared at me blankly, and it only made me feel bad for even saying anything.

 

“I mean, you understand some of it, don’t you?” I asked, trying to make is sound less harsh than it had initially.

“If you don’t want to do this, then fine.” He said, dramatically closing his math book after having just opened it.

“That’s not what I said.” I told him and he scoffed back at me.

“Uh-huh.” He said opening his text book back up.

“You know, you’re kind of a douche.” I told him flat out.

“And you’re kind of a bitch.” He shot back. I rolled my eyes, but ignored it.

“You don’t even know me.” He said after a few silent moments.

“You don’t  _know_  me.” I shot back incredulously.

“Brainy, know-it-all…” He stated, staring straight at me.

“Dumb jock with an over-powering God complex.” I retorted. His scoff was so loud that it nearly reverberated off the four walls of the dining room.

“You don’t know anything about me.” He shook his head, trying to go back to doing his homework.

“Enlighten me.” I rolled my eyes at him.

 

He looked up at me before he shook his head again, ignoring my words.

 

“My opinion of you plummeted during freshman year.” I told him.

 

He looked back up at me with a look of curiosity.

 

“You’re just a bully.” I told him flat out.

“How?” He asked and it caused me to laugh out loud.

“That’s a joke right? You and your douche friends go out of your way to laugh at people – to do mean things to people.” I called him out.

“Well, I mean… Andy does.” Louis said quietly.

“ _You_  do.” I retorted.

“ _What?_ ” He snapped at me.

“Last year I accidentally dropped my books on the ground and instead of you being a gentleman, you kicked them all the way down the hallway like they were a friggen’ soccer ball.” I pointed out.

“Last year.” He scoffed.

“Oh, did you get a conscience between then and now?” I asked him sarcastically.

“Whatever.” He said trying to go back to his work.

“My point is, is that you don’t really deserve my help. You go through life thinking the world owes you a favor. You think you can just bullshit your way through things and it’ll all work out in the end – but it doesn’t, okay. I’m not gonna sit here and do your homework for you. If you want to learn, you need to put the effort forth.” I ranted.

“I never asked for you to do my homework for me!” Louis said looking annoyed with me.

“I’m just saying, you need to actually pay attention.” I said.

“I don’t need a fucking lecture from you.” Louis shot at me.

“And I don’t need to tutor you.” I retaliated.

“Then I’ll fucking leave.” He said slamming his book shut again.

“Shut up and stop being a baby. Open your book.” I ordered.

 

His eyes stared into mine and I could see a challenge in them – like he was debating telling me to fuck off or to obey what I had said. Luckily for his sake, he obeyed.

 

“Now, what did you get for question five?” I asked, bouncing back from our fight as if nothing had happened.

 

 

 

Louis ignored me the next two days in school. He didn’t ask whose house we’d be studying at. He didn’t show up at my house for our tutoring session Thursday or Friday – nor during the weekend. And it made me think that I must have really offended him.

 

I decided that by the end of English class on Monday, if he hadn’t asked me about tutoring, that I would ask him.

 

During English, Louis kept bouncing his knee at his desk, which in turn shook my desk – distracting and annoying the crap out of me.

 

“Could you please stop?” I asked quietly, turning around slightly to face him.

 

He immediately stopped bouncing his foot, which I was grateful for. But a few minutes later he started up again. I tried to deal with it the best I could, until his desk started shaking mine again.

 

“Louis! Please!” I said a little too loudly, causing our peers to look over at us. I quietly slumped in my seat as my cheeks rapidly blushed. But at least I had gotten Louis to stop tapping his foot, and to keep better control of himself for the rest of the period.

 

After the bell rang, as we were gathering our belongings, I decided I had better try to talk to him.

 

“What’s up with you?” I asked him, looking at him sketically.

“Nothing.” He scoffed, walking passed me up the aisle to leave the classroom.

 

I gathered up the last of my stuff into my backpack and followed behind him quickly.

 

“Louis!” I called after him.

“What?” He asked, sounding annoyed as he turned toward me.

“When are we gonna… study again?” I asked, lowering my voice as I noticed he was looking around, probably making sure none of his friends saw him talking to me.

“Uh…” He stuttered.

“Don’t you need help?” I asked.

“I don’t need help from anyone.” Louis snapped and I knew that he was still mad at me.

“Oh yeah. Failing trig is so cool.” I said rolling my eyes.

“I’m not gonna fail.” He said, narrowing his eyes at me.

“Not knowing what the hell you are doing pretty much automatically ensure that you’re gonna fail.” I shot at him.

“I don’t need  _you_  telling me that I’m fucking stupid.” He spat at me.

“I didn’t even say that! I’m helping you. How is that calling you stupid?” I asked confused at his overreaction.

“I don’t need you insulting me every time you’re  _‘helping me’_.” He retorted, using air quotes and everything.

“Yeah well, I didn’t need you insulting me and being a royal asshole to me for the past three years either.” I scoffed, causing Louis to scoff too and roll his eyes. I sighed, realizing that we were getting nowhere bickering with one another.

“How ‘bout we… start over? Just like be civil with each other.” I proposed, and watched as he nodded his head in agreement.

“Alright.” I said with a nod of my own head.

 

Louis’s vision cut away to look down the hallway. Mine followed, seeing his group of friends meandering our way. Louis immediately started backing away from me.

 

“We’ll talk after class.” He told me and turned to walk toward his buddies, pretty much acting as if being seen with me was the most uncool thing in the entire world.

 

 

 

Sitting at my kitchen table – once again – with Louis, I couldn’t help but wonder how in the hell this happened. Why were we  _always_  going to my house? I mean, we went to his house the first night, but every other night that we studied we ended up at mine.

 

“Hey kids.” I heard my dad say as he walked into the dining room.

 

I felt a slight twinge of fear, hoping that my father wouldn’t embarrass me. But I quickly willed it away, remembering that I didn’t give a shit what Louis Tomlinson thought about me. Dad knew not to say anything incriminating anyway. He was real cool about privacy and all that. Lord knows that I didn’t need Louis to find out anything embarrassing about me. Who knows what he would do with the information.

 

“Excited for soccer season?” Dad asked Louis.

“Of course. Spring is on its way.” Louis said with a smile.

“That is quite a handsome accent.” Dad said cheerfully, causing my cheeks to blush immediately.  _Could he be any more embarrassing?_

“Thank you, sir.” Louis chuckled.

I watched as his whole demeanor changed now that he was talking about something he liked and was talking to someone he didn’t hate.

 

“You a senior this year?” Dad asked him.

“Yes sir.” Louis said with a proud smile.

“It’s the big one. The year for college scouts to snag you right up.” Dad said talking to Louis as if he knew him – as if they were old friends.

“I’ve got high hopes.” Louis chuckled.

“I’ve heard that you’re quite good at what you do on that field.” Dad continued.

 

When dad and Louis started talking soccer stats for last year’s season, I stopped listening. Even trigonometry was more exciting to me than stupid soccer. Sometimes I think dad wished that he had a son – or that I’d at least start dating a nice, respectable fella. With the way that dad was oogling over Louis, I could only imagine what kind of scenarios were floating through his head.

 

“Would you like to stay for dinner, Louis?” I heard my dad say.

 

_SAY WHAT?_

 

“I’m about to grill up some hamburgers if you’re interested.” Dad told him. Louis looked over at me quickly, to find an overly shocked expression on my face.

“Uh, sure.” Louis answered my dad.

 

_What in the hell just happened?_ Shang- _fucking_ -haied.

 

“Good, good. Why don’t you two finish up your homework while I go get it started?” Dad smiled at the both of us before he got up from the table and exited to the kitchen.

“Your dad is fantastic.” Louis said, looking over at me.

 

I couldn’t do anything but stare at him blankly. I was literally speechless.

 

“What? Am I that bad that you can’t even fathom having dinner with me?” He asked, letting the smile drop off his face.

“Fathom? What – do you have a word of the day calendar or something?” I snorted. Louis’s eyes narrowed.

“I thought we were being civil to each other now.” He shot at me.

“Sorry.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Yeah.” He said, annoyed with me.

 

We went back to our homework, but my mind was still stuck on my father’s interaction with Louis.

 

“Did you know that soccer players, pitchers especially, are usually blessed—or cursed, depending on how you look at it—with natural physical ability and acute mental agility? It manifests into self-confidence and mental toughness. Or, as some would say more clearly, arrogance.” I told Louis. He just looked at me and scoffed.

“Would you disagree?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know why you constantly sit up on your pedestal and judge me. You don’t know me, okay.” Louis said for like the third time that night.

“I wasn’t judging. I was just—” I started.

“You were just implying that I was arrogant.” He snapped.

“Do you deny it?” I asked.

“God!” Louis scoffed loudly, his reaction startling me.

“Maybe I should just ask Mr. Dixon for another tutor.” Louis said, looking visibly upset.

“You think you’re going to find someone better to help you? I have the highest score in that class.” I scoffed.

“Who’s arrogant now?” Louis shot at me and I rolled my eyes.

“This just isn’t gonna work out.” Louis told me finally.

“Its fine, Louis. Just… let’s get back to work.” I said, trying to shrug it all off.

“Are you going to be nice?” He asked hesitantly.

“Only if you’re gonna be nice.” I shot back at him.

“I’m not being mean!” He said incredulously.

 

I took a deep breath and nodded my head as I picked up my pencil so that we could get back to work. We got most of our homework done before dad was bellowing that the food was almost done.

 

“I’m gonna go wash my hands.” Louis said closing his textbook and putting it into his backpack.

 

Louis disappeared down the hallway as I put my own book away. I was just going to wash my hands in the kitchen, but realized that Louis Tomlinson was wandering around my house and I found that to be rather unsettling so I set out to find him. And of course I caught him lurking outside of my bedroom door.

 

“ _Ahem_.” I cleared my throat loudly. Louis jumped slightly as he turned to face me.

“What are you doing?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

“I had to see where the trigonometry princess sleeps.” He smirked at me, moving away from the door.

“Hmm…” I hummed out, looking at him skeptically.

“It was on the way to the bathroom. You can’t blame me for being curious. You’re so… cryptic most of the time. This is not at all how I would picture your room.” He smirked as he took another look into my private space.

“Why were you picturing my room?” I asked him suspiciously.

“I wasn’t. I’m just saying, if I were to take the time to picture your room, this wouldn’t be it.” He told me.

“That just goes to show that you don’t know me.” I said as I headed toward the bathroom.

“You’re right.” He said following after me.

 

I flipped on the light and headed to the second of the two sinks, whereas Louis went to the first. We washed our hands in silence – a very awkward silence. When I looked up into the mirror, Louis was looking over at me. Our eyes connected for a little longer than necessary before I looked away, reaching for the towel to dry my hands. When I was done, I handed the towel to Louis and made my way out of the bathroom, feeling extremely weird being in such a confined space with him. I would take the risk of him lurking my bedroom again just to get out of the awkward moment.

 

My dad and Louis talked soccer through the entirety of dinner. I sat bored out of my mind. But I kind of admired Louis for obliging all of my dad’s questions and really seeming like he was enjoying the company.

 

“Lux and I will have to catch some of your games, huh Luxy?” Dad said, finally throwing me into the conversation.

“Huh?” I asked, looking up at him.

“I told Louis that you and I will have to go see him play sometime.” Dad smiled enthusiastically at me.

“I hate soccer.” I said flatly.

 

Both Dad and Louis’ smiles faded somewhat at my comment and I kind of felt bad for even voicing my opinion. But they just shrugged it off and went back to talking to one another.

 

I cleared the table while they finished up their conversation, feeling like a fly on the way. I was losing my father to a field fairy. Why was I not born a boy for my father’s sake?

 

Dad finally excused us when I insisted that we finish our homework because it was getting late.

 

 

“So, your mom… she’s dead, huh?” Louis asked me quietly as we worked through the last few problems. He didn’t say it rudely – he just seemed to be wondering.

“Yep.” I said awkwardly.

“How long?” He asked quietly.

“All my life.” I told him.

“How…?” Louis asked, looking at me oddly.

“She died during child birth.” I said quietly.

“I’m sorry.” Louis offered.

“It’s okay. I’ve had seventeen years to get used to the fact that I’ll never have a mother.” I shrugged.

“I have a mother and it’s really not all that it’s cracked up to be.” Louis told me.

“Don’t say that.” I said shaking my head.

“It’s true. She… she cares more about my little sister’s than anyone else – especially not me.” He told me.

“At least she’s there.” I said.

“Hardly.” Louis scoffed.

“What about your dad?” I asked.

“My step-dad. And he’s never home. Mom’s gone a lot too. They think that because I’m the oldest that I can just fend for myself or something.” Louis said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I forgot you had sisters.” I said, more to myself than to him. 

“Four of them.” He nodded.

“Four?” I asked, looking at him oddly. I had only ever seen two of his sisters.

“Lottie’s 12, Fizzy’s 10, and then there are the twins, Daisy and Phoebe, who are 7.” He explained

“I didn’t know about the twins.” I told him quietly.

“Yeah, they’re a handful.” Louis said with a smile.

“I can imagine.” I chuckled.

 

I couldn’t help but feel like we were having a moment. Louis was sharing personal tidbits of his life with me. And I had just shared the most person tidbit of mine – my mother’s death, how I was the reason she wasn’t here. A sense of respect for Louis was settling in with me and I kind of liked it.

 

“Is that why you always want to come here to study? So you don’t have to be home?” I asked. Louis’s eyes met mine and I could see that my question made him uncomfortable.

 

He shrugged. And I knew that he was closing off again – his wall was being built back up.

 

“I mean, it’s okay. We can study here.” I told him and he nodded.

“Let’s just finish these last couple problems.” He said wanting to get back to business.

“Okay.” I said with a slight smile.

 

I wasn’t positive, but I think that maybe we just kind of became friends. I don’t even know.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! And I hope that you leave a review telling me what you think about it! Thank you! :)
> 
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> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	4. xChapter 4x

Louis had been gone out of school the next Friday and would be gone all weekend with his family. But he insisted that I come over on Sunday evening after they got back so that we could go over some things for the trig quiz that Mr. Dixon was giving us on Monday.

 

I felt awkward going to Louis’ house after the weeks of us studying at mine. My stomach was slightly uneasy as I knocked on his front door for our tutoring session. I was greeted by a beautiful brunette, who could only have been Louis’ mother. He looked exactly like her.

 

“Hello.” She said with an expectant smile on her face.

“Hi. Uh, is… is Louis home?” I stammered, feeling slightly awkward.

“Are you… does Louis have a new girlfriend?” She asked as confusion washed over her features.

“Oh… no. Uh, I’m his tutor.” I told her. I almost wanted to laugh out loud at how absurd that sounded. Louis and I dating would be like trying to mix oil and water.

“OH! Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing.” She smiled brightly at me, causing my cheeks to blush almost immediately.

“Um… thanks.” I said feeling slightly uncomfortable. But then again, I always felt uncomfortable whenever someone complimented me.

“It’s awfully nice of you to come over on a Sunday evening to help him out.” She smiled at me.

“Uh… yeah. It’s no problem, really.” I stammered out.

“We’ll I sure appreciate it, and I hope that Louis does as well.” She said finally, stepping aside to let me into the house.

“Uh, Louis should be in his room.” She said pointing toward the staircase.

“I uh… where is his room?” I asked, feeling embarrassed.

“You really aren’t his new girlfriend, huh?” She chuckled, walking with me toward the stairs.

“No. I can assure you that I am not.” I told her, trying to brush off the overwhelming feeling inside of me.

“His room is up the stairs, second door on the left.” She directed me with one last smile.

“Thank you.” I said and headed up the staircase.

 

It didn’t exactly sit right with me that I was headed up to Louis’ room, but I wasn’t going to argue. Causing a scene was never my forte.

 

When I got to the second level, I could hear music coming from the slightly ajar door that I now knew to be Louis’ room. It wasn’t recorded music, it was an acoustic guitar. Getting closer to the door, I realized that there was also someone singing. Whether or not it was Louis, I did not know, but it was actually pretty good.

 

_“I’ve tried playing it cool, but when I’m looking at you I can’t ever be brave because you make my heart race.”_

 

Peeking my head in the door, I saw that it was Louis.

“Damn it—that’s stupid.  _Stupid_.” I heard him scoff to himself.

 

Was he writing the song? Like right then?

 

I figured it was as good a time as any to make my presence known. I didn’t want to disrupt him while he was singing, and I didn’t want to pry in on his private business. With the quietest of knocks, I pushed the door open.

 

“Oh hey.” Louis said as a smile graced his lips, but he let it fade soon after.

“Hi.” I said, pulling my backpack closer to myself, feeling extremely awkward.

 

Louis set his guitar down against his dresser.

  
“I-I didn’t know you played… music.” I said, looking down at the notebook in front of him on the bed. He quickly looked down, flipping the notebook shut.

 

He had definitely been writing something.

 

“Yeah. Uh, I like it.” He said awkwardly.

“You have a good voice.” I said rocking back and forth on the balls of my heels.

“Thanks.” He said, bending over his bed to grab up his backpack from the floor.

 

He was only wearing a slim white v-neck and pair of low hanging gray sweat pants. It was the most intimate I had ever seen him and I didn’t know how I felt about that, so I looked around his room instead of at him. He had artwork and posters of his favorite bands displayed on his walls, and there were countless soccer trophies that lined his shelves. He had to have been playing for a long time.

 

“You really  _do_  like soccer.” I quipped, smirking over at him.

“Yeah.” He said pulling out his textbook.       

 

I stood awkwardly in the middle of his room, unsure of where to situate myself. The study location was really making me uncomfortable.

 

“You can sit down, you know.” Louis said looking up at me through his long eyelashes. I hesitated before he nodded his head toward the chair at his desk. I sat down and pulled out my own trig book.

“So, your mom is really nice.” I pointed out.

“Of course she’s nice. She’s one of the nicest people in the world.” Louis said with a hint of bitterness in his tone.

“But you don’t like her?” I questioned, narrowing my eyes at him.

“It’s not that. It’s just, she’s also one of the most oblivious people in the world.” He said with a sigh.

“What do you mean?” I asked, rather curious as to what he meant. He was being cryptic and confusing.

“She has five children, but you wouldn’t know it with the way that she fawns all over her daughters — especially Lottie.” Louis rolled his eyes.

“I’m sure she loves you all.” I defended, unaware of  _why_  I was defending her. My first impression of her must have been a strong one. She seemed so normal and happy.

“Well, where was she when I went to the State Championship with the soccer team last year? She was at dance rehearsals with Lottie – like, she didn’t even  _need_  to be there. And she didn’t even bother to call to congratulate me when we won. Lottie could take a shit and she’d be there front and center.” He said with a scoff.

“I’m sorry.” I said quietly.

“Sometimes I just wished she would pull her head out of her ass.” Louis scoffed. I nodded, but I couldn’t be sure he saw since I couldn’t bring myself to look up to see the disappointment in his eyes.

 

I silently wondered which was worse – not having a mother at all or having a mother that was never there for you.

 

After a brief moment of weighted silence, Louis cracked open his book, lightening the mood only slightly. We started studying straight away, which I was grateful for. Because I didn’t know how much more  _real_  conversation that I could handle. It didn’t bother me that he had opened up, it just made me almost uncomfortable, because we weren’t supposed to be confidants. This was strictly for educational purposes, and it scared me a little because I could visibly see the lines starting to blur between us.

 

Louis was really beginning to get the hang of the math problems, which was truly rewarding for me. After getting a series of questions correct, he pulled himself off of the bed.

 

“Want something to drink?” He asked, looking over at me.

“Uh, sure.” I said, watching him skeptically.

“Water? Soda? Juice? What?” He asked waiting for my order.

“I’ll, uh… water’s fine.” I told him, trying to break my eyes away from him as he stretched his arms up over his head and his shirt rode up revealing a small patch of skin on his belly. I tried to deny the attraction that I felt, but it wasn’t easy lying to myself.

“Mmkay.” He said and took off out of the room.

 

I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander around the room, trying to get my head back into the right frame of mind. But I was in a boy’s room. I had never been in a boy’s room before, as pathetic as that sounded. Let me rephrase that – I hadn’t been in a straight boy’s room before. My gay best friend’s room didn’t count.

 

A sudden rush of anticipation ran over me. I had no idea what I was anticipating, but I couldn’t help the butterflies that swarmed my stomach the moment that Louis walked back in the room carrying two bottles of water.

  
“Catch.” He said tossing me one of them.

 

Awkward me, let it fall to the ground as I flailed my arms out helplessly trying to catch it. Louis chuckled at my awkward display as he flopped back down on his bed.

 

“You are a terrible catcher.” He chuckled, shaking his head lightly.

“Maybe that’s why I don’t play sports.” I retorted as I bent down picking up the battered water bottle.

“Maybe.” He continued to snigger.

 

I took a sip of the water to make the moment less awkward for myself, but seeing Louis looking at me from the corner of my eye just pulled me right back into the damning moment.

 

“Why don’t you like soccer?” He asked seriously once I had caught his eye.

“Why  _do_  you like soccer?” I asked, quirking my eyebrow at him.

“Why do you always answer my question with a question?” He retorted, heightening both of his eyebrows at me.

 

I didn’t answer – because I had nothing to say. I just pursed my lips together, looking down at my text book.

 

“I try to talk to you, but you always just blow me off.” Louis said, catching me totally off guard. My head snapped up to look at him, my eyes wide and questioning.

“Why do you  _want_ to talk to me?” I nearly choked on the words.

“There you go again. Always questioning.” He pointed out.

“That’s who I am. I’m skeptical… of everyone and everything.” I told him honestly.

“That makes it hard to get to know you.” He said with a small sigh, and it made the butterflies in my stomach worsen.

 

I froze, my eyes locked on his. I probably looked like an idiot. My eyes were a bit wider than normal – a perfect deer in the headlights look.

 

“What?” He asked, knitting his eyebrows in question.

“Wh-why would you want to get to know me?” I stammered, feeling like all the thoughts in my brain were spiraling in that moment.

“Why not?” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Because you hate me.” I stated firmly.

“I don’t… why would I hate you?” He asked, looking at me like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

 

I stared at him longer than I should have allowed myself to before I tore my eyes away to look down at my textbook.

 

“Question sixteen. Wha-what did you get?” I asked stammering once again. I felt super uncomfortable at the turn in conversation, so I chose to ignore it.

 

Louis obliged my sudden change of subject and fed me off his answer.

 

“No, no. Try again.” I said shaking my head slightly.

“I don’t get that one.” He said scratching his head.

“Try it again. Work it out.” I told him, trying my best to help him rather than just doing it for him.

 

He looked down at his notebook and it really seemed like he was concentrating hard, but then he scoffed and threw the notebook down on the bed.

 

“I don’t get it.” He told me firmly.

“Just try.” I said patiently.

“I  _did_  try.” Louis said through an aggravated whine.

“How hard?” I eyed him skeptically.

“Can you just help me?” He asked as his eyes softened, blinking his dangerously long eyelashes at me.

“Louis…” I said, trying to make it sound like a warning, yet it came out almost breathless, and it made my cheeks blush instantly.

“Just… come on. I don’t get it. Help me.” He said, almost pouting.

“How is doing your work for you ‘helping’?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow at him.

“You wouldn’t be doing my work for me. I just don’t get it, okay. Just please come over here and help me.” He said moving over to make room for me on the bed.

 

My stomach clenched. He wanted me to sit with him on the bed? Was I like, in an alternate universe? Was this really happening? Being in a boy’s room and sitting on his bed? All in one day?

 

“Uh…” I stammered as I naturally hesitated.

“Please. Just help me.” He whined, sounding so exposed and helpless that I knew I wouldn’t deny him.

 

I stood up from the chair and moved toward the bed as a smile invaded his face.

 

“I’ll help, but you’re doing all the work on your own.” I told him sternly.

“I promise.” He smiled up at me.

 

Awkward didn’t come close to describing the feelings that were working through my body as I sat down next to him on his bed and began helping him along with the math problem. I think Louis could tell how weird I felt because after a few moments, he looked over at me and sniggered to himself. I could only take a deep breath and shake my head at him.

 

By the times that we rounded the end of the fifty practice questions that Mr. Dixon had assigned for the quiz, I was feeling more at ease and let myself sit back against Louis’ headboard, taking in a cleansing deep breath and letting it out forcefully.

 

“I’m glad we’re done with that.” Louis quipped as he too leaned backwards.

“Me too. For a while there, I didn’t think we were going to get through it.” I told him with a smirk.

“Hey!” Louis laughed and it made me giggle.

“That wasn’t a dig toward you.” I told him as I turned my head to look over at him.

“Good.” He smiled back. I let my vision cut away from his, realizing it was awkward enough just sitting next to him in his bed. I didn’t need eye contact to add to it.

“Thanks for dumbing it all down for me. I know I’m completely clueless sometimes.” He told me.

“Trig is a hard subject. I can completely understand why you don’t understand half of this stuff. Math has just always come easy to me. It’s fun.” I said, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly.

“Math is most definitely  _not_  fun.” Louis scoffed.

“To each his own.” I told him as I leaned forward to shut my book before I leaned back again.

“Hmm.” He let out a laugh under his breath.

 

I could feel his eyes on me, and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t want him to know that I knew he was looking. But I didn’t want to sit there squirming under his gaze.

 

“What?” I asked looking at him from the corner of my eye.

“Nothing.” He said, still looking, but making it less obvious.

“You’re…  _staring_  at me.” I pointed out.

 

When he didn’t answer, I looked him dead in the face as I furrowed my brow. He chuckled uncomfortably, which immediately made me laugh. Everything was totally weird.

 

“Lux?” He asked quietly.

“What?” I asked, looking over at him tentatively.

 

There were no words that came out of his mouth after I answered him – just a smile spread across it.

 

“ _What?_ ” I asked impatiently.

 

Seconds later, his lips crashed into mine and I felt his hand snake up, grasping on the back of my neck.

 

Holy shit. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

 

My hands came up and pushed against his chest and he immediately backed away, looking away sheepishly.

 

“What are you doing?” I asked incredulously.

“Uh… I don’t know.” He said hesitantly.

“You kissed me!” I pointed out through my disbelief.

“Yeah.” He said quietly.

“Why would you kiss me?” I asked as my heart beat in my throat.

“Because I wanted to.” He shrugged, shying his eyes away.

 

I was speechless. He wanted to kiss me? What was going on? No one in the history of history wanted to kiss me. And the fact that Louis did really threw me for a loop. I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

 

When I looked back up at Louis, he was looking at me again. What the hell was going on in this alternate reality?

 

“Are you going to freak out if I kiss you again?” He asked cautiously.

“ _What?_ ” I choked out.

“Is that a ‘yes’?” He chuckled, as a sneaking smile tugged up the sides of his lips. His blue eyes were playful and it made my heart nearly skip a beat.

 

This boy  _wanted_  to kiss me.

 

My eyes widened, but I didn’t answer. I wanted him to kiss me again – I really did. It just scared the hell out of me in many ways. First, being the fact that less than five minutes ago, I had just experienced my first kiss. And second, my first kiss was with Louis Tomlinson.  _Fucking Louis Tomlinson_. What was going on?

 

When Louis leaned in again, my breathing hitched and then I stopped breathing all together, anticipating the moment when my lips met his again.

 

“Is this okay?” He breathed against my lips.

“Mmhmm.” I whimpered.

 

Louis smiled slightly before his lips moved against mine again.

 

_Oh my god_. Cue the imaginary fireworks.

 

His lips moved softly against my own, the kiss getting fuller and deeper as the moment progressed. My heart was beating so fast and it was so hard to concentrate on anything else but his lips on mine that I just held my breath instead of remembering to breathe.

 

“Kiss me back.” He whispered against my lips.

 

_Oh shit. Yeah._  I was so busy analyzing the moment that I forgot that I needed to also partake in it. I mimicked Louis’ movements, hoping that I was doing it right. And it was good. It was _really_  good.

 

Louis’ hand came up, tangling in my hair, making me go a little crazy. It was  _all_  making me go crazy. Louis’ lips and fingers and the way his nose mashed with mine.

 

When I felt his tongue prod slightly against my lips, I freaked out internally. He wanted to  _kiss_  – like  _really_  kiss. And before I knew it, he was coaxing me down on my back on his bed. The excitement washed over me and I found myself opening up to him. My body relaxed and I allowed his tongue access so that we were full blown making out in a heap on his bed.

 

And it was good. But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.

 

“Louis—” We heard.

 

Our bodies instantaneously split apart, knowing that we had shamefully been caught.

 

“Ew! Ohmygod.” The girl at the door scoffed before slamming Louis’ bedroom door.

“Lottie.” Louis mumbled under his breath as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Uh, I should… I should go.” I said pulling myself up from the bed quickly.

“No, don’t.” He told me as he watched me collect all of my belongings and shove them rather ungracefully into my backpack.

“I’ve-I’ve gotta get home.” I said unable to even look in his direction.

“Lux…” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair again.

“I’ll uh, see you at school tomorrow.” I told him, still not making eye contact as I moved toward his door.

“Uh, yeah. See ya.” Louis said awkwardly as I slipped out of his room.

 

I snuck out of his house undetected, taking in a deep breath as I reached the outdoors.

 

_What in the hell was I doing?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	5. xChapter 5x

“How was it?” My dad asked immediately as I walked in the door.

What the hell? Did he know? Did he know that I just had my first kiss? My first make-out? Oh my god.

“What?” I choked out, looking at him horrified.  
“Studying… for that quiz. How did it go?” He clarified, looking at me oddly because of the way that I was staring at him.

A sense of relief flooded me when I realized that my father in fact had no idea that Louis was just on top of me in a bed, kissing me like his life depended on it.

“Uh… it was good.” I said awkwardly as I moved toward the kitchen. My mouth was suddenly as dry as the Sahara and I needed something to drink.  
“So do you think you and Louis will ace it?” He asked following me into the kitchen.  
“When have I ever not aced a math test?” I questioned, turning my head just long enough to give him the eye.  
“Right. What about your pupil?” Dad asked as I swung the fridge door open and grabbed a bottle of water.  
“He’s… uh… he’s doing better.” I said as I opened the cap and began to chug its contents.  
“Slow down, champ.” Dad laughed as I completely downed the bottle.  
“Thirsty.” I said breathlessly as I washed down what was left of Louis’ saliva in my mouth.  
“I can see that.” Dad chuckled.

I tossed the empty bottle in the recycling bin and went back to the fridge to find something to eat.

“When’s Louis coming back over?” Dad asked, making me cringe.  
“I don’t know. Why?” I asked, looking over at him skeptically.  
“I like him. He’s a good kid. He’s not at all how you described him.” Dad said as he took a seat on one of the stools at the center island counter.  
“Dad…” I warned looking over my shoulder, rolling my eyes at him. I knew that he was playing at something, and I wasn’t sure that I liked it.  
“What? He’s respectful and nice and he’s a pretty good looking kid, Luxy. Don’t you think?” He asked, trying to hype me up about the boy.  
“DAD!” I shot at him, realizing then and there that my father was trying to play matchmaker.

And wouldn’t it be so perfect for him? His daughter dating a boy that was so similar to him. My father grew up playing sports and played them all throughout college when he blew out his knee. Having Louis around would give him a chance to relive his glory days, having not been able to experience having a son of his own to share them with. I had obliged him, of course, over the years. But sports were not my passion and dad could tell.

“What?” He laughed, looking rather amused by my outburst.  
“I am not going to DATE Louis Tomlinson, if that’s what you’re implying!” I told him firmly.  
“Why not? I think he’s sweet on you.” He smiled blithely at me.  
“He is NOT sweet on me.” I scoffed. Except for the fact that he wanted to kiss me, there have been no other indications that what my father was saying was true.  
“You don’t see the way that he looks at you.” Dad told me with a quirk of his eyebrow.  
“Dad, stop!” I said feeling uncomfortable with the route that our conversation had ventured on.  
“What?” He laughed again.  
“You are my father. You are supposed to ban me from dating until I am thirty, not throw me at the first boy that I bring home.” I told him with a light scoff.  
“I’m not arranging your marriage for God’s sake. I was just suggesting for you to give the boy a chance.” Dad chuckled light heartedly.  
“Dad, no.” I shook my head, shutting the fridge door after losing interest in sating the rumbling in my stomach, because now all that I felt was sick.  
“You’re so stubborn. Just like your mother.” Dad continued to chuckle.

My stomach lurched at the mention of my mother. Although I loved hearing my father talk about her, it never failed to catch me off guard when he did.

“You know, your mother and I didn’t get along when we first met.” Dad smiled, his eyes were looking out the window, but I knew that he wasn’t looking at the landscape. He could see memories of my mother as plain as day in his mind’s eye.  
“You never told me that.” I said quietly.  
“Oh yeah, she… she hated me. You know, Louis and I – we’re not so different from each other. You’re mother wanted nothing to do with me, until I proved to her that I was exactly who she needed.” Dad told me, making every nerve in my body tingle.

His words tore through me and my eyes were bombarded with tears. Even after seventeen years, the mentioning of the mother I never knew still messed me up. And learning new things about her rocked me in a way that I would never forget.

My mom and dad met in high school – she was a transfer student from Quebec and spoke fluent French, but also knew English as her second language. All I knew was that by senior year, the two of them were in love. I never knew the beginning – that my mother completely disregarded my father as a person. And that fact threw Louis’ face into the foreground of my mind. Had I been treating him just the way that my mother treated my father, the man that she loved for eight years before her life ended way too soon?

Suddenly all my anger and the pent up grudge that I had been carrying for him seemed petty and stupid. Life was too short for things like that. My mother was proof of that.

Louis had kissed me. He wanted to kiss me. Maybe he wasn’t the person that I thought he was. Or maybe he had changed as a person and no longer was the boy that I hated.

“Where did you go?” I heard Dad chuckle.  
“Huh? What?” I asked, snapping out of the daze that I was in.  
“You were just off in la-la-land.” Dad smiled.  
“I uh, I was just thinking about mom.” I told him, my word holding an inkling of truth.  
“You know, she would be so proud of you. You’ve turned into such a beautiful person, inside and out.” Dad said with a fond smile on his face.  
“I wish that I had a chance to be with her.” I said feeling the hole in my heart that I held for her.  
“I wish that too, baby.” He told me as a wave of sadness washed over his features.  
“I’m… I’m going to go to bed. I need my rest so I can be assured to get an ‘A’ on that trig test.” I told Dad, trying to bring the subject back to what we had previously been talking about.  
“Right.” He said, giving me a nod.

I walked over and kissed his cheek.

“I love you, old man.” I told him whole-heartedly.  
“Love you too, Luxy.” Dad said before I walked off to my room.

 

I felt uneasy walking through the double doors of the high school the next morning. I was awake the night before, longer than I cared to admit, thinking about Louis and the kiss and what that kiss meant. I analyzed every single second of it that I could remember. I had waited a long time for my first kiss – seventeen years to be exact – and I came to the conclusion that it indeed was everything I hoped a first kiss would be. Spontaneous and exciting. And somehow, just right.

After waking up from a rather pleasant dream about Louis, I realized that I was beginning to develop feelings for him. And that fact scared the hell out of me. What was I supposed to do when I saw him? For seventeen years I’ve held it all together, but last night was about to tear me apart. And I couldn’t conclude if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

I was hyper-aware of everything around me as I stood by my locker. You know, just in case Louis decided to sneak up on me. I wanted to be prepared. But of course nothing could prepare me for the fire that blazed inside of me when I did finally lay eyes on him. He strolled down the hallway with his buddies flanking him, laughing with them about something that I didn’t have the chance of overhearing. His smile had never been so alluring to me in my life. Was there magic in his kiss or something to suddenly make me feel this way? Was he magical? Was he a wizard?

Jesus Christ. He wasn’t Harry Potter. I needed to get a grip.

I prayed that my sleuthing skills were on their ‘A’ game because I was lurking the hell out of him by my locker and I didn’t need anyone to be of witness to that.

“Take a breath, girl.” I heard Tyler’s voice next to me and it caused me to jump.  
“Huh? What?” I asked startled, trying to act casual.  
“Are you trying to will his clothes away with the power of your mind?” He chuckled, looking at me amusingly.  
“What?” I snapped, furrowing my brow at him.  
“You’re completely staring at your sexy little tutee. I caught you.” Tyler sniggered.  
“I was not.” I scoffed, digging through my backpack to take out the books that I didn’t need during first period.  
“Girl, you were like a cheap hooker trolling for a John. And well, Louis was your John of choice.” He said, laughing at his own metaphor.  
“You’re disgusting. I was not.” I said, blushing like nobody’s business.  
“Lie to me some more.” He said, heightening his eyebrows and pursing his lips together as he looked at me.  
“Tyler, seriously. Shut your mouth.” I said eyeing him darkly.  
“Ooh girl. Mmm, Louis Tomlinson has infiltrated your mind. Lord, have mercy.” He said in an over-the-top flamboyant manner.  
“Fuck. Seriously. Shut up.” I said looking around, hoping to God that nobody heard him.  
“You totally have the hots for him don’t you, Lux Lydia Carver?” Tyler threw at me in a hushed tone.  
“If I tell you what’s going on, will you keep your mouth shut?” I asked him, looking all around us for prying eyes and well-tuned ears.  
“Yes! Give me the dirty gossip. Pronto.” He said like an excited little kid. I bit my lip, feeling nauseated that I was about to admit to him all of the dirty deets from the previous night.  
“He kissed me.” I told him quietly.  
“He KISSED you.” He breathed out, shock apparent on his face.  
“He kissed me and it freaked me out and I pushed him away…” I started rambling.  
“You pushed him away!?” Tyler gasped.  
“Well yeah, it’s Louis Tomlinson. And fuck, it was my first kiss. And I didn’t know what to do. And…” I rambled again.  
“I wish my first kiss was with Louis Tomlinson.” Tyler said looking over his shoulder at Louis who was down the hallway a ways.  
“I just… I freaked out.” I told him, as I let out a sigh.  
“So you like, pushed him away? What did he do?” Tyler asked, hungry for more information.  
“He – I don’t know. I asked him why he kissed me and he said because he wanted to.” I shrugged my shoulders.  
“Oh my god.” Tyler gasped, swooning over my confession.  
“And then he said something like ‘are you going to freak out if I kiss you again’.” I continued.  
“He kissed you again!?” Tyler exclaimed, perking up at the information.  
“We – uh, we kind of made out… in his bed.” I told him as I bit at my lip, catching a quick glimpse of Louis over my shoulder.  
“YOU MADE OUT IN HIS BED!?” Tyler nearly shouted out.  
“Shut the fuck up, Tyler.” I scolded him.  
“Sorry. You made out in his bed!?” He whispered his exclamation.  
“Yeah. Until we got caught by his little sister.” I told him.  
“You got caught? How cute.” Tyler said, awing over something he shouldn’t have.  
“Not cute.” I rolled my eyes.  
“What did you do after that? Tell me he touched you. Tell me you touched him.” Tyler said, apparently trying to live vicariously through me.  
“I left. I fled the scene. I dipped out as fast as I could.” I told him.  
“Oh no, no, no honey. You can’t just leave after something like that.” Tyler said, dropping his lower jaw in shock and disapproval.  
“I couldn’t stay.” I said appalled.  
“So you just left? And you haven’t talked since?” He asked, looking passed me once again.  
“No. I haven’t seen him. It was only like 12 hours ago.” I told him, stealthily sneaking my own glance at Louis who was talking and laughing with his friends.  
“God, your life is finally getting on track. My little girl is growing up.” Tyler said hugging me to his chest.  
“Getting on track? You say that like my life was a derailment before.” I scoffed, pushing back away from him.  
“I wouldn’t say ‘derailment’, but maybe just that your love life wasn’t as ‘full speed head’ as it could have been. But now you have Louis and everything is wonderful.” Tyler said clapping his hands together.  
“I do not have Louis. Nor will I ever have Louis. This was just… I don’t know… a fluke. He’s a horny teenage boy.” I explained it away.  
“Exactly! Use him to your advantage – not like you’d use him, but you get what I am saying. He’s a horny teenage boy that has needs and you’re an inexperienced high school senior looking to gain a little knowledge in the romantic department.” Tyler suggested, laying it all out for me.  
“I don’t even want to know about his needs, okay. I am just fine being inexperienced. The plus side to that is that I don’t have any STD’s and I’m not pregnant.” I pointed out.  
“Condom’s can prevent both of those. Just sayin’.” He said, the last two words coming out in a sing-song voice.  
“Tyler, just stop.” I said as the bell blared through the hallway.  
“I’ve gotta go.” I told him as I slammed my locker.  
“Weigh your options, girl!” Tyler called out to me as I walked away from him.

Walking passed Louis and his friends, I told myself to just keep looking forward – to not even look in his direction. But I failed, epically. My eyes met Louis’ right before I passed and surprisingly I wasn’t disappointed. He smiled right at me and gave me a cute little nod of his head, acknowledging me to everyone who was in the vicinity. I smiled as my cheeks blushed immediately. I kept walking, trying to concentrate on my feet so I didn’t do something dumb like trip on thin air. Knowing myself, it was probable.

I had to nearly force the smile off of my face once I sat in my seat waiting for first period to start. But nothing could stop the butterflies that were fluttering all around in stomach. It was becoming a real problem.

For English class, later on that day, I made it just in time to not be marked as tardy. Mrs. Mackey gave me a stern look before I took my seat in front of Louis, who was smirking as I walked down the aisle to my desk.

“Cutting it close there, lady.” Louis chuckled as I sat down. I eyed him, but shrugged off his comment, using nonchalance as a defense mechanism.

I tried to ignore his presence behind me, but he was absolutely invading my mind – it couldn’t be helped.

“Hey, psst.” I heard from him a little while into the class.

I turned my head slightly so that Louis knew that I had heard him.

“Can I come over after school?” He breathed in my ear, which sent a nerve-racking shiver up my spine.

I couldn’t answer with words – it would have just come out as a jumbled mess of gibberish, so I just nodded.

“Cool.” He breathed out and somehow I could hear the smile spread across his lips.

 

As soon as I walked in the door to my house, I immediately began tidying up, before I caught myself. Why did it matter what my house looked like? Louis had been over plenty of times before. I hated that I suddenly cared what he thought. I hated it more than anything at the moment. No one should go through life worrying about what people thought about them. It gets you absolutely nowhere and it only causes heartache.

The ring of the doorbell pulled me out of my thoughts. That was fast. Louis had never gotten here so fast after school.

I pulled the door open to see Louis leaning against the front porch railing. He looked just – amazing. He was only wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but it worked for him. And it worked well.

“So that essay we have to write for English is pretty much bollocks.” He smirked at me.  
“It is what it is.” I shrugged, going with nonchalance once again.  
“I’ve never really been that good with American grammar and all of that. You know, being British and all.” He told me as he walked through the doorway.  
“What are you trying to say?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow playfully at him.  
“I don’t know. Maybe when I’m done writing it, you could give it a read?” He asked as he made his way into the dining room, setting his bag on the table.  
“I-I guess. Yeah, sure.” I said shrugging my shoulders.  
“Thanks.” He said looking up at me, giving me a smile that nearly beamed ear to ear, and it hurt me in a way that made me feel overwhelmed and elated and sick all at the same time.  
“So… h-how do you think you did on the trig test?” I asked, painfully aware of the stutter that came out with my words.  
“I don’t know. It doesn’t give me much confidence when I look over question one and don’t know what the hell I am doing.” He chuckled. I made a face to sympathize with him, knitting my eyebrows together and scrunching up my chin.  
“That bad?” I asked.  
“I don’t know. I think I may have gotten some, I guess. I don’t think I’m gonna like totally fail.” He said shrugging his shoulders as he pulled out his trig book.  
“Well, I guess maybe we should keep working on it then.” I offered, pulling my own out.  
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.” He said with another knee-weakening smile. Why was I such a girl sometimes?  
“You’ll get it. I have confidence in you, even if you don’t.” I told him as we both took our seats at the table.  
“That was probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Lux.” He smiled openly at me, giving me a wondrous look.

I blushed wildly at his words. He noticed and chuckled before he opened his textbook.

“Lux. Lux. What kind of a name is that?” He asked, emphasizing the X at the end of my name.  
“Well, it’s my name. That’s what kind of name it is.” I told him as I cocked an eyebrow.  
“I am aware of that. How did your parents come up with it?” He asked. I smiled at the memory of my father telling me the story of my name.  
“What?” Louis smiled back at me.  
“Uh, just a memory.” I shrugged.  
“Tell me.” He said sounding sincere. The way he said it resembled, in my mind, the way that he had said ‘kiss me back’ the previous night and it sent a shiver all over my body.  
“Uh, well… My parents – my mom and my dad, well they were married for five years before they started trying for a baby. They got married right out of high school, but wanted to wait until after college to start a family.” I started my story. Louis was listening contently and it excited me that he would care so much.  
“So once they started trying, I guess my mom wasn’t able to get pregnant, so they saw a bunch of pregnancy specialists or whatever. After a while, the doctors just pretty much gave up and told them that it was impossible for my mother to get pregnant. Something to do with her uterus or something. But my mother, being the strong willed woman that she was, never gave up. She was determined to have a baby. And two years later when she finally got pregnant, she was overjoyed. They both were. I was their little miracle baby – an unexpected life. My mother insisted on finding me a name as epic as the journey they went through to create me, so she came up with Lux.” I told him as he listened on contently.  
“Lux. Like does it have a meaning?” He asked.  
“I was getting to that.” I smiled at him.  
“Oh, sorry.” He chuckled.  
“Life unexpected. Lux. L-U-X. It doesn’t really go. But if you go by the syllables it does. Life-Un-eXpected.” I told him.  
“That is cool. That is really cool.” Louis said, giving me a genuine smile.  
“Yeah. If only the rest of the story was as cool.” I said looking down at my hands.  
“I’m sorry.” Louis said quietly, knowing how it ended.  
“Yeah.” I said awkwardly.  
“S-she died during your birth?” He asked hesitantly, opening it up for me to elaborate.  
“Yeah. Her uterus – it was faulty after all. It ruptured just as I was being delivered. My dad said that she did at least get to see me – to lay eyes on me before she passed out. But she never got to hold me. She was too far gone by the time that they gotten her into surgery.” I said sadly, feeling the pain in my heart.  
“God, I’m sorry.” Louis said looking pained as well.  
“Yeah.” I breathed out.

Seconds later, I felt the light squeeze of his hand on my knee, and it startled me but pleased me so much. Unfortunately it was gone just as fast as it had happened, leaving me to look up into his eyes as I, undoubtedly, gaped at him.

“I’ve uh, I’ve got to use the bathroom.” I stammered out, standing up immediately.  
“Okay.” He said, looking up at me.

I rushed off toward my bedroom, not even caring that I just told him that I was headed to the bathroom. I just needed to breathe and I couldn’t do that in his presence. I was doing the opposite of breathing – I was choking. He made me choke on air. But of course, it was in the most amazing way possible.

“Hey, are you okay?” Louis asked, ripping me away from my inner monologue.

He was standing in my bedroom doorway as I stopped the steady pacing of my bedroom floor.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” I said waving it off.  
“I’m… I’m sorry for bringing up your mum… again.” He told me, looking remorseful.  
“No. Seriously. It’s okay.” I said, waving it off.  
“You’re a strong person, Lux.” He told me, and I couldn’t help but fixate my eyes back on him, displayed with more wonder and captivation that I wanted them to display. But I couldn’t help it.  
“You don’t have to hide your feelings. You miss your mum. So miss her. Don’t run away from it.” He told me firmly.  
“You can’t miss something you’ve never had.” I said somberly.  
“Yes, you can. And it’s okay.” He said stepping toward me.

I looked into his eyes – his big blue eyes. Blue eyes had never appealed to me as much until I was looking into his.

“Thanks, Louis.” I breathed out.  
“For what?” He asked.  
“For not being the asshole that I always thought you were.” I told him, and he chuckled immediately.  
“I’m serious. I had a really bad view of you. I’m glad that it has changed.” I elaborated slightly.  
“Has it changed?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.  
“It has.” I said with a light nod of my head.  
“Good.” He said, letting a smile tug up his lips.

I wasn’t aware of the fact that he had moved closer, until he was standing directly in front of me, placing his hand on the side of my face. My body tensed slightly and Louis acknowledged it with another smile.

“Relax.” He breathed against my lips.

I took his words into consideration, but I knew that no matter what, every time I found myself in this position, whether present or future, I would never be able to relax. Not at first anyway.

It felt like an entire lifetime had been lived in those few moments. The anticipation was killing me.

“Louis…” I breathed out as all the nerves in my body violently twisted.  
“Shh.” He hushed me before pressing his lips against my own.

My insides immediately disintegrated into mush. The touch of his hand on my face mixed with the feel of his lips on mine was enough to break me. Louis’ other hand attached to my hip, pulling me closer to his body. And I was lost. I was completely lost in him. Our tongues battled one another like a lover’s quarrel – except we weren’t lovers. We weren’t anything. We were just us – Louis and Lux.

By the time that I felt the back of my knees meet with the side of my mattress, we were already falling against it – Louis on top of me. And I remember giggling at the silliness of falling into a heap on my bed. And Louis was smiling too. And it was all falling into place. We were happy and carefree. And I had his hands intertwined with my own and his lips were back on mine.

And it was fun.

I pulled away after a while, needing to catch my breath. He was intoxicating and I was drowning in him. Louis wasn’t done though. His lips trailed across my jaw, leaving heated kisses down the length of my neck. And every part of my body tingled for him. Every kiss of his lips was like an electrical charge.

Along with his lips exploring, his hand also began blazing their own trail – from my hips, up the length of my side and then back down again, before it had worked its way underneath the fabric of my shirt. My stomach muscles contorted and contracted at the gentle caress of his fingertips on my skin. And I didn’t know what my brain should concentrate on – the feel of his lips on my neck or the fact that I was being ‘felt up’ for the first time. It was all making my brain a jumbled mess.

Louis’ lips found their way back to my own, capturing them, which I was kind of grateful for. It gave me a distraction from my own mind. That was until I felt his fingertips run along the skin right below the underwire of my bra. His movements were getting riskier and riskier and I decided to let myself just go with it. I wasn’t going to protest it. I wanted him to touch me – probably more than he wanted to touch me.

“Mmm.” I involuntarily moaned through his kisses.  
“Mmhmm.” He answered with his own moan.

I felt the creep of a blush on my cheeks, but made sure not to let it ‘derail’ the progress that I was making in my quest to fool around.

It didn’t take long before I felt Louis’ hand work its way over my breast, above my bra. For a little while, he let it just rest their nicely, before he began delicately caressing it. I loved it. I loved every second of it. I loved the way he was touching me and kissing me and I silently hoped it would never stop.

But my life wasn’t perfect.

Just as Louis worked up the nerve to go under the bra and get a good grip on it, I heard the front door close with a damning thud.

“Shit! My dad.” I breathed out, pushing Louis off of me.  
“He’s home?” He asked, looking back at my opened bedroom doorway.  
“Yes! Get up!” I said in a hushed tone. Louis scrambled off of the bed in a daze.  
“Go… go to the bathroom. Pretend like you’re just coming out. Act natural.” I coached him.  
“Okay.” He said and slipped out of my room quickly.  
“Luxy?” I heard Dad call out.

I quickly straightened out my clothing and my hair before I darted down the hallway to meet up with my dad.

“Hey dad.” I said trying to act as naturally as possible, when I felt all guilty inside.  
“Hey baby.” He said kissing me on the cheek as I passed by him to go sit back down at the kitchen table.  
“Oh, is Louis here?” Dad asked, eyeing the extra backpack and books that lay open on the table.  
“Uh, yeah. I think he’s in the bathroom or something.” I said nervously.  
“Oh hey, Mr. Carver.” Louis said nonchalantly as he walked up behind us.  
“Louis, my man.” Dad said shaking his hand. I rolled my eyes at the little display of manhood.  
“Good to see you, sir.” Louis smiled at him.  
“You too. You staying for dinner?” Dad asked.  
“If Lux’ll have me.” Louis said looking over at me.

Was there some sort of double meaning in that loaded statement?

“Luxy?” Dad asked, quirking his eyebrow at me. And it spoke volumes. I could hear his words plain as day: give him a chance.  
“Yeah, yeah. Sure, whatever.” I said waving it off.  
“Hey, you could be a little nicer, miss thang.” Dad said nudging me with his finger.  
“Why yes – Louis? Would you like to stay for dinner? I don’t know what my father will be making, but I am sure it will be good.” I smiled and batted my eyelashes playfully at the both of them.  
“I think I liked it better the first time.” Louis snickered.  
“What am I going to do with you?” Dad shook his head and headed over toward the kitchen.

Louis sat down in his seat and looked over at me. A smile ravaged his lips that was so contagious, I couldn’t help but smile back.

Louis Tomlinson and I had a secret. And it was a good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're liking the story so far! Are you? Let me know. :) I really enjoy the feedback!  
> Also, check out my other stories if you like this one!  
> Thanks!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	6. xChapter 6x

On Saturday morning, I woke up to voices in my house. Being that it was just my father and me living in the house alone, it was quite uncommon to hear another voice besides ours in it – especially at such an early hour. At first I thought maybe my father was just watching TV, but the voices were much too _in-person_ to be television dialog.

 

Confusion turned quickly into curiosity. Pulling my long brown hair up into a messy bun atop my head, I walked out of my bedroom to see who the mystery guest was that my father was so animatedly talking to at nine o’clock in the morning. The smell of breakfast food was wafting all around the house and I could hear Dad going on about how he’d always wanted to go to backpacking through Europe in his younger days and how he almost convince my mother to go with him after they finished college, but it never panned out. I wondered who he would be talking to about such a thing, just before I turned the corner into the kitchen to find my dad flailing around a spatula as he spoke to Louis, who was sitting at the center island counter contently listening to his crazy stories.

 

_Oh my god._

 

“What…” I gasped out in confusion, shell-shocked into place.

 

What on earth was Louis doing at my house at nine o’clock in the morning? And why was Dad cooking him breakfast?

 

“Luxy! Hey! Look who stopped by.” Dad smiled, as Louis turned to see me. A smile spread across his face immediately as our eyes met.

“I can see that.” I said, watching as Louis’ eyes dipped down my long lean frame, giving me the full body once over.

 

The night before, I was rather warm while going to bed, so I opted for a pair of shorts and a camisole. So there I was showing more skin than Louis or anyone for that matter had ever seen, stuck in an awkward stance bright and early in the morning. Suddenly I felt more naked than ever.

 

“What are you doing here, Louis?” I croaked out, crossing my arms over my chest, more so to try covering as much of myself as I could in the moment.

“I, uh… I finished my essay… for English. Uh… I was wondering if you would… check it out— uh, look over it for me.” He stammered out rather awkwardly, looking as though he was really trying be respectful by keeping his eyes glued to mine rather than looking elsewhere… again.

“So you decided to come over at nine o’clock in the morning?” I asked, feeling the all-too-familiar feeling of being shanghaied in Louis’ presence.

“Uh, yeah.” He said giving me a look of apology.

“Luxy, stop being rude.” Dad scolded, pointing his spatula at me.

“I wasn’t.” I said still staring at Louis.

“I told Louis he could stay for breakfast.” Dad informed me.

 

I finally looked up at my father whose smile was beaming ear-to-ear at me as he bounced his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, before jerking his head toward Louis a few times, trying to get me – without words – to  _‘give him a chance’_. Louis was none the wiser of my father’s actions because he was still staring at me, but it took all I had not to widen my eyes at my father out of sheer embarrassment.

 

“Uh… okay. I’m gonna… I’m gonna go get dressed.” I said before immediately exiting the kitchen, wishing it wouldn’t be awkward to cover up my butt with my hands to keep Louis from seeing me in the shorty shorts I was wearing.

 

I dashed to my room and shut the door as a slight panic attack washed over me.  _Fucking shit_. Did he really just see me half naked? It wasn’t about my appearance – I couldn’t care less about that. If someone couldn’t appreciate me in all my glory, then they weren’t worth my time. It was the sheer fact that he saw me half naked that threw me for a loop. My body was a private thing. Nobody had seen me naked since I was in diapers. And I certainly didn’t go around flaunting my shit like a lot of girls. I kind of felt violated that Louis saw me that way and it didn’t sit right with me.

 

I tried my best to shrug it off as I dressed in jeans and an old high school choir t-shirt from freshman year. I kept my hair up in a ponytail, though I combed a brush through it before throwing it back up. I didn’t bother with make up after I washed my face and brushed my teeth. _Au natural_. It was a thing of beauty.

 

When I came back out to the kitchen, Louis and my father were just sitting down at the table for breakfast. I sat down in the place that was set for me, across from Louis and couldn’t help but try to sneak a glance up at him. When our eyes connected immediately I felt awkward, but then Louis smiled at me and it seemed to set me right, causing a riotous amount of butterflies to take flight in my stomach.

 

“Thanks for breakfast, Mr. Carver.” Louis smiled politely over at my Dad.

“Call me Chuck.” Dad smiled back at Louis.

“Chuck.” Louis repeated, nodding his head.

 

I looked between my father and Louis a few times trying to decipher the relationship the two of them had somehow seemed to automatically form. It baffled me, really. The only explanation was that my father was utterly determined to somehow get Louis to want to date me – which seriously, was not going to happen no matter how hard he tried. And I didn’t think even if he did, that I would want that.

 

And with Louis, I think it was just his natural instinct of treating adults with respect that shone through in his efforts. Not to say they hadn’t bonded at least a little over their mutual love of sports, but that was just a guy thing, I supposed.

 

Louis sent me a few smirks across the table throughout breakfast, but I had no emotion to send back to him but bare-faced confusion. The situation I was in was so foreign to me, that I just didn’t even know how to handle it. What was Louis to me? I couldn’t explain it.

 

After breakfast, I offered to clean up, since Dad went out of his way to make breakfast for us, but he insisted I get a jumpstart on looking over Louis’ essay.

 

Louis and I went to the living room – which was quite a contrast to where we usually worked on schoolwork. I flopped down on the couch and Louis took the cue to do the same, sitting rather close to me, which made my face redden almost instantly.

 

“So…” I said impatiently, feeling more awkward than I probably should have.

“Oh! Here.” He said pulling out his essay from his backpack. He handed it to me and I immediately began reading.

 

Louis watched me contently as I read over the English assignment and it only worsened my comfort level. He had a thing for staring, I guess.

 

“It’s good.” I said finally, as my gaze tentatively met his.

“That’s it?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow at me in question.

“Well, there are a few grammatical errors, but overall it was good.” I told him, with a light shrug.

“It’s good?” He questioned, as a smile formed on his face.

“Yeah. It is.” I said, giving it to him straight. He let out a little sigh, letting himself relax a little before he looked back over at me.

“You’re not just saying that?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

“What kind of tutor would I be if I lied to you about something like this?” I asked with a smirk on my lips.

“You’re my  _math_  tutor. There’s a right and a wrong answer in math. In English, there’s a whole bunch of gray area.” Louis told me.

“I’m not lying.” I told him firmly, trying to stifle my smile so he knew I was serious.

“Could you… could you help me with the grammar stuff?” He asked.

“A lot of it is punctuation. Having the right kind of punctuation is key when writing. It can make a big difference sometimes – well, most of the time.” I told him and he nodded, taking in my words.

“The spelling is good.” I told him as my eyes skimmed over the document again.

“I used spellcheck.” Louis said sheepishly.

“That’s okay. That’s what it’s there for.” I told him with a sideways smile.

“Hey, uh. I’ve got to run out for a bit. I’ve got to meet up with a client. Will you two be okay here?” Dad informed us as he peeked into the living room.

“We’ll be okay.” I nodded, feeling a little squeamish that we would be left alone. But I was also excited too, because there was a chance that maybe Louis would kiss me again.

“Good. I’ll see you in a little while.” Dad smiled.

“See ya, Mister— uh, Chuck.” Louis said, correcting his slip-up.

“Good man!” Dad smiled at Louis, which made Louis chuckle.

“Bye, Dad.” I said rolling my eyes at the two of them.

“See ya!” He said with a wave and was out the door moments later.

 

_Poor naïve, father._  If he only knew the kinds of things that happened here when he wasn’t around. Well, not to say it would happen again. I wasn’t so conceited to automatically think things with Louis were going continue. But I was certain I wouldn’t be pushing him away if it did.

 

“I really like your dad. You’re lucky.” Louis said to me.

“He’s a good guy.” I agreed nodding my head.

“I’m jealous.” Louis said, catching me off guard.

“I’m sure your dad is a good guy.” I said quietly.

“He is. But uh… he’s actually not even my real father.” Louis said sheepishly.

 

I didn’t know how to respond. I just stared back at him, trying to gauge whether or not I should say anything.

 

“He’s not?” I finally said after a beat too long.

“Nah. He’s my sister's dad – all of my sisters, but not mine. That’s why I’m so much older than all of them. My mum was married before.” He confessed, and all I could do was listen and try not to gape at him as he explained.

“Wow.” I breathed out.

“I don’t know my real dad. He left when I was really young.” He continued, and I couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of pain in my heart.

 

I imagined a young Louis standing at his front door, still in England, just waiting for his daddy to come home, and it sent me down a spiral of sadness.

 

“My mum re-married Mark not long after and had my sister’s. But he never treated me like I was his – because I wasn’t. And it was more apparent as my sister’s grew up. I just wasn’t his. And as I got older I could feel my mum distance herself from me as well. It was always Lottie, and Fizzy, and the twins taking up her time. I don’t know. Maybe it was because I was a boy. Maybe she thought I didn’t need her like my sister’s did, but everyone needs their mum—” He said, just as his eyes widened, and he realized what his last words would mean to me – I didn’t have a mom.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed out.

“It’s okay.” I told him, waving it off.

“I just – I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be laying this all on you.” He said, acting bashful.

“Really, it’s okay.” I told him, hoping he would continue talking. It really seemed like it was therapeutic for him.

 

I had an inkling that his home life left a lot to be desired, but I was never good at giving advice or being a shoulder someone could cry on. That just wasn’t me. But for some reason, it didn’t feel so difficult for me to be someone there for him to talk to.

 

“Nah, I just… I just came over here for… for the essay.” He smiled uncomfortably, nodding toward the papers that were still in my hand. 

“Oh, uh… let me grab a pen and I’ll show you the correct punctuations.” I said getting up from the couch.

“I’ve got one.” Louis said and I stopped in my tracks.

 

He pulled out a pen from his backpack and handed it to me and I resituated myself back on the couch. Louis quickly scooted over even closer to me so he could see the corrections I was making.

 

“I never understood the whole semi-colon garbage.” Louis commented randomly.

“Do you want me to give you a lesson on semi-colons?” I asked, looking over at him.

“No.” He said flat out and it made me chuckle. Then soon we were both laughing, and it made me relax a lot with him.

 

I finished correcting his essay, giving him little grammatical pointers as we went and by the end, he had a properly worded, properly punctuated essay. Mrs. Mackey should be impressed.

 

“Thank you, Lux. Really.” Louis said as he replaced the essay back into his bag.

“You’re welcome.” I told him.

“You know I appreciate it, right? I appreciate you taking your time out to study with me and to… well, _teach_ me. I learn more from you then I do at school.” He chuckled nervously. I nodded, feeling the weight of his words.

 

I could tell he really  _did_  appreciate it. I could see it in his eyes. But I appreciated what he was doing for me too. He wasn’t the only one learning. I was learning from him as well. But it wasn’t schoolwork I was learning. I was learning how to be a normal teenager – how to have normal teenage problems and normal teenage feelings. It was the first time in my life where I didn’t feel like an outcast. I wasn’t the girl with the gay best friend, or the weird girl with no mother. I was Lux, a normal teenage girl. And Louis was the one to make me feel that way.

 

“Louis…” I breathed out, my voice quivering with my nervousness

“Yeah.” He said looking into my eyes.

“I-I… I like it when you kiss me.” I told him truthfully.

 

His eyes stared back into mine contently as a wide smile turned up his lips.

 

“I like kissing you.” He said back, making the butterflies in my stomach come back with a vengeance.

 

And right before he moved in to show me how much he liked it, my breathing hitched and I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped my throat as his lips met mine.

 

It was nearly perfect.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter pulls at my heartstrings a little when Louis starts to talk about his family. *sigh*
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	7. xChapter 7x

I was getting the hang of this, I swear. Kissing – I had it down pat. It was the groping I still needed to work on. Of course, Louis had a tight grasp on the groping. He did quite well in that department, always leaving me panting for more. But I just couldn’t bring myself to touch him anywhere that wasn’t appropriate in public. Call me a prude if you want, but I was still just a seventeen year old girl with absolutely no background of sexual experience and who had never really been much of a people person. I didn’t have a long list of partners like some did. I didn’t go around kissing boys left and right.  _Louis_  – he was my experience. Louis kissed me. Louis touched me. It was just Louis. I was greener than the grass when it came to all of this.

 

Louis was rather ravenous on this particular day after school. It had been the third consecutive day we spent at my house afterschool, making out in my bed before my father got home from work. I never let it get farther than heavy petting, and the farthest Louis had gone was to feel up my bare breasts under my shirt. He had yet to see me naked and he had yet to touch me anywhere else, which I was grateful for because I didn’t know if I was ready for more.

 

I was always below Louis, him hovering over me. It seemed to work out better that way. Because well, what was I going to do on top? I probably would have just laid atop him like a dead fish. No, it definitely worked better this way because Louis had all the access he needed.

 

Louis and I never really did much talking during these times, but I could never shut my mind off. I always wondered what was going through his mind. Was he just like a caveman and his one-tracked mind was set on his hormones? Or did he let his mind wander like I did, making up scenarios in his head of the two of us? No matter how hard I tried to fight it, I was falling for this boy with the heated lips and the knack for soccer. This boy who I thought was a bully was someone who turned out to just be misunderstood by people making assumptions and judgments. And no matter how hard I fought against it, he was worming his way into the closed-off confines of my heart.

 

Louis’ lips were heated and seemed to be burning me with every kiss. His movements were fast and meticulous. Breathing wasn’t easy with the way he was kissing.

 

“Louis… Louis…” I said as he slowly worked up the hem of my t-shirt.

“Hmm?” He asked looking down at me with his big beautiful ocean eyes.

“I-I…” I stammered, unable to find the words to tell him how uncomfortable it made me to think of myself naked or even half naked in front of him.

“You don’t want me to take your shirt off?” He asked.

 

I squirmed a little with his words, but slowly shook my head ‘no’.

 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to. But you know, I think you’re beautiful and I would never judge you.” He told me. And he sounded so sincere.

 

My breathing hitched at his words. He thought I was beautiful?

 

“You’re not just saying that?” I asked him. Louis chuckled and shook his head.

“No, Lux. I’m not just saying that. Why is it so hard to believe?” He asked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“I don’t know.” I said as I shrugged my shoulders and averted my gaze.

“You don’t think you’re beautiful?” He asked, pulling up to really get a good look in my eyes.

“I hadn’t really thought about it.” I shrugged, looking up at him.

 

I wasn’t one to focus on my looks or the looks of other people. Yeah, okay sometimes I felt like I looked better or worse than other times, but I guess everyone is aware of their looks at some point. I just didn’t let it define me. And maybe that’s why I hadn’t had a boyfriend or a long list of lovers. And maybe that’s why my books got kicked down the hallway on occasion. But still, I didn’t care to be a beauty queen – to have people fawning all over me. The appeal just wasn’t there.

 

“Maybe if you saw yourself the way I saw you, you would see how beautiful you really are.” Louis told me.

 

My eyebrows furrowed. Not out of anger, not out of confusion – but out of wonder. I wondered how I could be doing things so intimate with this person and feel like I know nothing about him. I didn’t know how vast his heart was. I didn’t know how inspiring his words could be. I didn’t know his hopes and his dreams or his plans for the future. I didn’t know what made him tick – his likes and his dislikes. What I knew was his name and the most basic information. I knew just a small chunk of what life in the Tomlinson house was like for him. I knew he played soccer and was good at it. Those things put together only gave me a surface view of Louis Tomlinson. But lying here with him in this moment, I knew I wanted to go deeper.

 

“What’s the matter?” He asked as he let his own eyebrows furrow.

 

I shimmied myself up from underneath him and he took the cue to sit up next to me. I sat against my head board with my knees up to my chest, my thoughts and my feelings really messing me up for a moment.

 

“Lux, what’s the matter?” He asked again.

“I… I want to know you.” I told him.

 

Louis’s features flattened out before a smile formed on his lips.

 

“Okay.” He said.

“We’re doing this… I mean, we’ve been doing  _this_  for a little while now, but I don’t know you, Louis.” I told him.

“What do you want to know?” He asked.

“Everything.” I told him and he let out a chuckle.

“This may take awhile.” He quipped.

“I’m serious, Louis. I want to get to know you. I want you to get to know me. I want us to be friends.” I told him.

“I thought we  _were_  friends.” He said straight-faced.

“I-I want us to be better friends.” I rephrased, even though I stood by my previous statement.

 

Louis and I were no more friends than I was with any other acquaintance I had in my life. The only difference with Louis was I let him stick his tongue down my throat and his hand up my shirt on occasion. We weren’t friends – merely each other’s tools of excitement.

 

And I wanted that to change, starting right then.

 

“Can we still kiss? You know, while we’re getting to know each other?” He asked with a sneaky smirk on his lips.

“I don’t see why not.” I shrugged, trying my hardest to stifle my own smirk.

“Good. Because I like kissing you.” He smiled.

“I like kissing you.” I told him truthfully.

 

Louis leaned over and pecked my lips for added effect.

 

“When’s your birthday?” I asked, starting with the most basic of questions.

“December 24th, 1991. Yours?” He answered before turning the question around on me.

“June 21st, 1992.” I told him.

 

And the rest of the afternoon went on like that. We were getting to know each other and that was all I could ask for. Louis and I had more in common than I would have ever guessed and I found it comforting how easy it was to talk to him – to share personal things about my life with him. He made me feel at ease and I loved that about him.

 

By the time I heard my father come home, Louis and I were both laying side by side in my bed talking.

 

“I probably shouldn’t be in here.” Louis said getting up quickly, making his way off of my bed. I stood up too as Louis dashed out of my room.

“Luxy, you home?” I heard dad say.

“Yeah, dad.” I said walking toward the kitchen

“Louis here?” Dad asked immediately.

“Uh, yeah. He just got here. We’re about to start working.” I told my dad. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Louis walk up from the hallway.

“Louis! How’s life?” Dad asked cheering up immediately.

“Why don’t I get a greeting like that?” I asked my dad, straight-faced.

“LUXY! How’s life?” Dad mocked. I rolled my eyes and scoffed as I headed toward mine and Louis’ untouched bags by the front door.

“Women.” Dad scoffed playfully. Louis chuckled a little under his breath, but didn’t make a comment.

“Come on, Louis. We don’t want to keep trigonometry waiting.” I said sarcastically.

“How much time until you start training for the season?” Dad inquired about the spring soccer season just as Louis was about to follow me to the kitchen table.

“Try-outs are in a couple of weeks.” Louis told him.

“Dad, he’s my friend, not yours.” I reminded, giving a little growl under my breath.

“Alright, alright. Luxy, he’s all yours.” Dad chuckled, giving Louis a pat on the back.

“I’ll talk to you later, Mr. Carver.” Louis smiled and headed toward the dining room table.

“Call me Chuck, Louis.” He said once again.

“Right.” Louis chuckled.

 

Louis and I worked a little while on our math homework. He was getting much better at it. I could tell that he was putting less effort into it and he was almost always coming up with the right answers, and it made me proud. I was happy I was able to help him come so far. It was truly rewarding.

 

Louis left around six, right before Dad had dinner ready. Dad of course offered Louis to stay, but Louis insisted that he needed to get home. I said goodbye to Louis at the door, where he left me with a wink and a wave goodbye, before I headed into the kitchen to have dinner with my father at the center-island counter.

 

“So Luxy, how was your day?” Dad asked, eyeballing me from his seat.

“Well, it just got a little bit better.” I smiled, thinking about how good things were going with Louis and his trigonometry.

“Why? Is my pasta that good?” He quipped, nudging me with his elbow lightly.

“Ha-ha. No.” I said sarcastically.

“Ouch. Straight through the heart.” Dad groaned, feigning pain as he laid his palm across his chest.

“No. It’s just… Louis – he’s finally understanding trig. I’m just… I’m proud of him.” I told him as my smile practically ate my face alive.

“I’m proud of you. He would have never gotten this far without you, Luxy.” Dad smiled over at me.

“Yeah.” I said quietly.

“I noticed you called him your friend.” Dad said with a sideways smile.

“I guess… I guess we kind of are now.” I smiled, thinking back on the great conversation we had before my father got home.

“That’s good. I’m glad. I’d like to see him still coming around here after the tutoring is over. He’s a good kid.” Dad nodded.

“There’s always English.” I smirked thinking back on Louis’ grammar issues.

“You’re a good kid, Luxy. And I’m glad you’re my kid.” Dad said wrapping his arm around me, pulling me into a half hug.

“Even though you kind of wish you could adopt Louis?” I smirked over at him.

“I wouldn’t have to adopt him, you know. There are ways around that.” Dad implied, quirking his eyebrow at me.

“Oh God, Dad. Never gonna happen.” I rolled my eyes, thinking about all the times my father had dropped hints for me to let Louis in in the romantic sense.

“Why not?” He asked, dropping open his mouth in awe.

“It’s just not, okay.” I told him without explanation.

“Lux, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Dad asked getting serious all of a sudden.

“Yeah, I know.” I nodded as I shoved a fork full of ziti in my mouth.

“You know I’ll accept you for who you are no matter what, right?” He asked giving me a look of compassion.

“Yeah. What are you getting at?” I asked him, unusually confused by his cryptic words.

“I just… I don’t know. Do you enjoy the company of girls better than guys?” He finally asked.

“Did you just ask if I was a lesbian?” I nearly choked on my food.

“Well, I don’t know. You and Tyler have always been great friends. I thought maybe it was because you were similar. I don’t know, baby. Don’t take it the wrong way. You know I’ll accept you no matter what. Tyler’s a great kid. He’s always welcome here, you know that.” Dad awkwardly rambled on.

“Where did you come up with this? Because I haven’t had a boyfriend?” I chuckled, shaking my head at him. It was amusing.

“Well, that really didn’t concern me. I just wondered recently because of your adamant refusal to even think about Louis in that sort of light.” Dad explained, shrugging his shoulders.

“First of all, Louis and I don’t know each other very well. And second of all, there is a lot of history between us even though we don’t know each other very well. And what makes you think he’d ever think about dating me in the first place?” I retorted, knitting my eyebrows in question as I looked over at him.

“What makes you think he wouldn’t?” Dad asked, heightening his eyebrows.

“Is this like, part of the guy bond you two formed? Do you talk about this sort of thing with him, Dad?” I asked, all of a sudden feeling a bit nauseated.

“No. Of course I haven’t talked about this with him. It’s just… I don’t know. There’s a lot of unworthy people out there, Lux. Unworthy of you because you’re such a great kid. But Louis, I see that greatness in him too.” Dad explained.

“Dad. Can we… can we just not talk about this? It’s making me uncomfortable.” I told him, squirming slightly in my seat as my chest started to tighten at the first makings of a panic attack.

“Sure.” Dad said and he went back to eating his food in silence. I did the same, feeling a whole new level of awkward.

 

My father  _shipped_  Louis and I so hard, it was overwhelming.

 

 

I woke up the next morning from a dream of me and Louis making out on my bed. It felt so real, that I almost thought I was dreaming in reality. Except in the dream, Louis and I were both topless. And in my dream, my worries and cares were non-existent.

 

If only I could feel that way in real life.

 

“Hey, chica-babe!” Tyler said poking my side as he met me at my locker in the morning.

“Hey, Ty.” I said as I swapped out my books.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while and I think I know why.” He said letting his voice get high pitched at the end to exaggerate his point.

 

I eyed him reproachfully.

 

“What? Am I right?” He laughed.

“Ty, I don’t mean to cut you out.” I said letting my expression fade into that of apology. I missed my friend and I realized I hadn’t been there like I used to and it was because Louis had come into my life.

“You know what, Lux – it’s completely okay, really. If I was getting some from Louis Tomlinson, you wouldn’t see me for weeks.” Tyler giggled.

“I’m not getting _anything_ from Louis Tomlinson.” I shot at him in a hushed tone.

“Sure, sure.” Tyler rolled his eyes.

“Ty, I’m not. Louis and I – we kiss, okay. That’s it.” I told him.

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve done?” He asked, looking slightly disappointed.

“Well… I mean, he’s touched my boobs.” I said sheepishly.

“Wow, girl. Way to give him the goods.” Tyler said sarcastically.

“It was under the bra!” I protested.

“And what have you done to him?” He eyed me.

“Nothing!” I defended.

“Girl, if you don’t give him some goodies, he’s going to go looking elsewhere.” Tyler told me.

“And what do I care if he does? I’m not going to be a slut just to keep him around. If he can’t accept me then why should he even be worth my time?” I said getting really defensive.

“Preach it, sista. If most of these girls had your attitude on things, then maybe they wouldn’t be walking around here like the sad sacks they are.” Tyler giggled, looking around at our peers in the hallway.

“It’s just a lesson in self-worth. You have to have some self-respect to expect to get respect in return.” I said as I closed my locker.

“Lux, you’re preaching to the choir.” Tyler smiled knowingly at me.

“Whatever, Tyler. You’ll happily give it up to the first boy who bats his eyelashes at you.” I snickered, giving him a light hip-check.

“You’re totally right! Oh, I’m pathetic.” Tyler laughed.

“So, my dad kind of had a talk with me last night.” I told him, getting serious.

“The sex talk?” Tyler inquired.

“No, but had I indulged his constant acclamation of him trying to set me up with Louis, that would have been next.” I said and we both chuckled.

 

He heard all about how my father praised Louis up and down. And how my dad was subtly trying to make Louis his son-in-law.

 

“What did he talk to you about?” Tyler asked curiously.

“He, no joke, asked if I was a lesbian.” I told him and he burst out laughing.

“If I had any sort of beverage in my mouth right now, it would have hit that girl square in the face.” Tyler said pointing at the girl across the way. I laughed out loud, imagining it.

“He asked you if you were a lesbian? Why?” Tyler asked seriously.

“I don’t know. Because I haven’t dated and I keep telling him that Louis and I will never date.” I explained.

“Except you’re kind of already dating.” Tyler pointed out, to my dismay.

“Not even.” I said shaking my head.

“There is proof.” Tyler said, putting his hand on his hip.

“What proof!?” I croaked out.

“His tongue, your mouth, girl. Plain and simple.” Tyler said pursing his lips together to prove his point.

“No proof in that. It just… it happens. We’re not dating.” I said as the first bell blared through the hallway.

“Denial.” Tyler said in a sing-song voice.

“I’ve gotta go. See you after class.” I said as I began walking backwards down the hallway.

“Watch…” Tyler started to say as I smacked right into another body.

“…out.” Tyler finished.

“OH! Sorry!” I said turning around to see Louis.

“It’s alright. I should have swerved.” He smiled at me.

“Uh…” I stammered.

“I’ll see you in English?” He asked, looking hopeful and excited and beautiful.

“Yup.” I said, nodding my head lightly.

“Alright. Bye, Lux.” He smiled.

“Bye, Louis.” I said, still frozen in place as I watched him walk off.

“YOU’RE DATING!” Tyler screamed in my face snapping me out of my daze.

“Shut up and get to class!” I said waving him off as I sprinted in the direction of my own class.

 

 

As soon as Louis was standing at my door after school, I wanted to kiss him. Somehow, I wanted to make my dream a reality. And I don’t know how much that made me into a harlot or how normal it was to feel these feelings, but I just wanted it to happen. I wanted our skin to touch. I had never felt this way before and it kind of scared me.

 

Louis sat down on the couch as soon as he was let in the door and it sort of confused me at first because the past couple days, we had just headed straight to the bedroom. But then I remembered I had asked to get to know him.

 

“So soccer season is starting soon.” He said breaking the ice.

“Yeah.” I said as I sat down next to him.

“I’m kind of scared.” He admitted.

“Scared? Of what?” I asked, rather confused. He caught me off guard with his confession.

“Of not being good enough.” He said looking down at his hands.

“Louis, I may not know soccer, but I have heard people talk about you. They sing your praises. Even my dad – before you started coming around here – he was like ‘heard he’s got quite the set of legs on him’.” I said trying to do an impression of my dad. Louis looked up at me and chuckled.

“I’m not worried about what other people think. I’m worried about what the scouts will think. I need to get a scholarship. I’m banking on a sports scholarship. As you already know, my academics leave a lot to be desired.” He said in a self-deprecating way.

“I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” I said.

“I need to more than just fine. I need to be great.” He retorted.

“You are great.” I assured him.

“Thanks.” He smiled bashfully at me.

 

His smile reminded me how hard it always had been for me to be a shoulder for someone to lean on – how I never had the right words to say to make someone feel better, but with Louis it just came so natural. I wanted to make him feel better. There was just something about him.

 

“I think we’re doing pretty well.” I told him.

“At what?” He asked.

“Getting to know each other.” I smiled shyly.

“I think so, too.” He smiled back.

“I’m not good at giving advice.” I admitted, causing him to look up at me oddly.

“That’s something I need to work on – being there for people.” I told him.

“You were just there for me.” He pointed out.

“I know. That’s why I brought it up. I surprised myself.” I said to him and he chuckled.

“Maybe I’m special.” He smirked at me.

“Maybe.” I shrugged.

 

His look in my direction lingered, and it caused my stomach to turn almost violently. Oh God, what was Louis Tomlinson doing to me?

 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked quietly.

“Uh-huh.” I replied, my voice breathy and embarrassing.

 

His lips were delicate and smooth, and I had missed them more than I cared to admit. I felt his arm wrap around my waist as he pulled me a little closer to him on the couch.

 

“I like you, Lux.” Louis breathed in my ear.

 

I froze immediately – my body went stiff as a board.

 

“Does that scare you?” He asked pulling back to look into my eyes.

“A little.” I admitted.

“Is it so hard to believe?” He asked.

“A little.” I replied. Louis sighed and let his arm fall away from me.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, realizing I had just ruined the moment with my awkwardness.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” He asked, furrowing his brow in concern.

“I just made everything awkward.” I sighed, flopping back against the couch.

“No, Lux. It’s cool.” He said with a reassuring smile.

“Why do you like me?” I asked boldly. He chuckled as he looked over at me.

“There are a lot of reasons.” He smiled, looking so sincere, it made me weak.

“Enlighten me.” I told him quietly.

“Well for one, you’re blunt and a lot of the times you do make situations awkward…” He told me flat-out, and I made a frowny face, feeling like the biggest loser ever.

“But I enjoy that about you. And you’re smart, which is really attractive. And when you first started tutoring me, you put me in my place… a lot, which I needed. And you’re funny and witty and you don’t care what other people think about you. And you’re beautiful, Lux. You really are. Inside and out.” He explained.

 

Was this the point where I should burst into tears? Because I almost felt like doing just that. I was so in awe of him. No one besides my father had spoken about me like that.

 

“Oh, is that all?” I joked, trying to lighten the intensity of the moment. Louis laughed out loud.

“There’s more. There will always be more, but for your ego’s sake, I’ll stop there.” He smirked at me.

“Well, my humbleness thanks you then.” I quipped, with a smirk back.

“You know, once you get comfortable, that awkwardness sure disappears, doesn’t it?” Louis said giving me a sideways smile.

“I guess so.” I said, feeling my cheeks pinking immediately.

“You’re cute.” He told me, and I was certain my blushing would never cease if he continued on like that.

“Louis…” I said as I stood up from the couch.

“Yeah?” He answered, looking up at me.

“Come on.” I said and nodded toward the direction of my bedroom.

 

He didn’t speak a word, just followed me to my room and had his lips on me before I could kick the bedroom door closed. We toppled onto the bed and I giggled like I always did. Louis looked down into my eyes as he pushed back the hair that had fallen in my face. He was just looking and I secretly wondered what he was looking for, what he was thinking of. My brow furrowed, looking back into his eyes. I think he took it as a cue to continue on, because his lips came down to capture mine once again.

 

And we kissed for a while.

 

Frustration sunk in when Louis’ hands stayed put on my hips and did not make the ascent up my shirt. Somehow it didn’t feel the same to me at all - like he was holding back on purpose. It wasn’t satisfying without Louis’s hands touching me. And with that thought, I knew I was changing as a person. I was growing as a person.

 

I pulled away slightly, trying to get his attention. Louis’ lips took it as an opportunity to descend down my jaw line.

 

“Touch me, Louis.” I growled out. Louis stopped and pulled back, looking into my eyes.

“What?” I asked, feeling a little bashful that I had just spoken those words out loud.

“Are you… are you sure?” He stammered out.

“I mean, you’ve done it before.” I said shrugging, acting as if it was no big deal, when we both knew it was.

 

He had never had full-on permission before. It was always just a sneaky little move I let him get away with.

 

“Please. It’s not the same.” I said quietly, almost desperate in my plea.

 

I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. And neither could Louis. He looked taken aback – happy, but taken aback none the less.

 

“It’s okay.” I said, remembering how it felt to be carefree in my dream.

 

Louis leaned back down and took my lips with his as his hand immediately slipped up my shirt.  But just as we were getting back into the groove, the doorbell rang.

 

“ _Unghh_.” I groaned as Louis and I stopped. We both sat up and straightened out our clothing.

“I’ll be right back.” I sighed, getting off the bed to head out of my room.

 

When I flung open the front door, I was greeted with Tyler’s sunshine face.

 

“Hey, bestie!” He waved.

“Ty! Hi!” I choked out.

“Hey girl, what are you up to?” He asked giving me a sneaky smile.

“Uh, nothing.” I averted my gaze momentarily before deciding to just face him. He was going to see right through me. He cocked his eyebrow at me and studied my reaction.

 

“Your boy toy is here, isn’t he?” Tyler asked, being the perceptive dude he was. He slyly tried to look into the house over my shoulder, but Louis was still in my room and I knew Tyler wouldn’t be able to catch a glimpse.

“Uh… yeah.” I said quietly.

“Oooh, girl. How does it feel to be  _dating_  the captain of the soccer team?  _Oh captain, my captain_.” Tyler said, swatting at me.

“We’re not dating.” I growled through my teeth for about the hundredth time. Tyler wouldn’t let up.

“I’ll let you get back to _that_.” He chuckled.

“Ty, if you wanna hang out—” I said feeling unbelievably bad that my best friend was standing at my door and I was busy, once again.

“NO! No, no, girl. You have business to attend to.” He giggled.

“Why are all the men in my life determined to get me with Louis?” I rolled my eyes.

“Who? Me and your dad?” Tyler chuckled.

“And Louis.” I said quietly.

“OH MY GOODNESS. Go get him!” Tyler said shooing me back into the house.

“Ty, if you want to hang out—” I said again.

“I’ll go see what Chelsea is up to. You go get it, girl.” Tyler said turning to leave.

“Ty…” I said.

“Yeah?” He asked looking over his shoulder.

“You’re a good friend.” I told him sincerely.

“Your best.” He said and puckered his lips together sending me a kiss before he headed off.

 

Louis was still seated on my bed, patiently awaiting my return. His face brightened once I was over the threshold, closing the door again.

 

“Who was it?” Louis asked.

“My friend, Tyler.” I told him.

“Oh. Okay.” He nodded.

 

As I made my way back to the bed, my cell phone rang.

 

“Distractions. Distractions.” I scowled as Louis chuckled.

 

It was my father calling to tell me that he would be home late.

 

“Why don’t you and Louis order a pizza?” Dad offered.

“Why would you assume Louis is here?” I questioned.

“Well, is he?” Dad asked knowingly.

“Yeah.” I said quietly and Louis chuckled.

“Ha.” Dad laughed.

“Yeah, we’ll order a pizza.” I said sheepishly.

“I’ll see you later, baby doll.” He told me.

“Bye Dad.” I said ending the call.

“Dad’s gonna be late.” I told Louis.

“More time for me to kiss you then.” He smiled and leaned in to start it back up.

 

I giggled as he pulled me down on top of him, enjoying being with him in the moment – being the only girl on his mind. And I had to admit, the thought of that gave me the best kind of butterflies.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	8. xChapter 8x

That night, sleep didn’t come easily. Louis was on my mind and I couldn’t get his words out of my head. He said he liked me. Did he  _really_  like me? It baffled me. I hadn’t changed any since we started hanging out. Maybe he just realized that I wasn’t someone to just shrug off anymore. I was doing something right, I guess – something that was appealing.

 

I wondered when it had changed for him. I wondered when he started seeing me in a different light. Maybe it was when I had started seeing  _him_  in a different light.

 

Quite possibly, I had been wrong all along. Maybe Louis and I could work out together after all. Maybe my dad would get what he had been pushing for. Maybe Louis could become my boyfriend. In my mind, I was never able to imagine Louis ever seeing me like that – so I just told myself that it would never happen. Maybe I was wrong.

 

My mind raced and kept me awake as I laid there in the dark. It was driving me crazy.

 

When I woke up in the morning, I felt like I hadn’t even slept at all. I was a zombie as I ate my cereal and got ready for school.

 

The day dragged on and I didn’t hardly see Louis all morning except for a silent look in each other’s direction from across the school hallway.

 

Right before English, I had gone to my locker to get my folder for class. When I turned around, I smacked right into Andy Walker. Why does that always happen? I was feeling major déjà vu as I peeled myself away from him.

 

“Watch where you’re fucking walking.” Andy spat at me.

“Why are  _you_ always in my fucking way?” I lashed out.

“Whatever, you spaz.” Andy scoffed.

“Hey, shut up, dude.” Louis said shoving Andy.

“Oh right. I forgot she was your tutor and you have to kiss her ass.” Andy sniggered.

 

I glared at Andy so hard.  _If looks could kill…_

“Whatever, dude. Go to class and stop being a jerk.” Louis told his best friend.

 

I looked up at Louis with wonder in my eyes. He was sticking up for me.

 

“Pussy.” Andy cackled at Louis as he walked off.

“Sorry about him.” Louis told me.

“It’s okay.” I said shyly.

“Wanna go to class?” Louis asked with a light smile.

 

I nodded and we walked side by side together to class.

 

“Why do you hang out with him? He just makes  _you_  look bad.” I asked Louis about Andy.

“I don’t know. We’ve been friends since I moved here. He has always been an escape from my family. I could always go to his house to get away from them.” Louis shrugged.

“There are other people that you can lean on.” I told him as we stopped outside our English classroom.

“I’m realizing that now.” He said looking into my eyes.

 

_Whoa._

 

Had the bell not rang, I almost would have thought that he was going to kiss me, standing there right outside our classroom. But his gaze cut away at the shrieking tone and he continued on into the room, taking his seat. I followed closely behind feeling the onslaught of awkwardness as Mrs. Mackey started her lesson.

 

During trig, Mr. Dixon threw a pop quiz at us. Louis who sat diagonally back from me looked rather scared at the mention of the quiz.

 

“You’ll do fine.” I smiled at him. He shrugged as the tests got passed back.

 

Taking the quiz, I got rather excited because it was on problems that Louis and I had been working pretty hard on during the tutoring. It was problems that he seemed to be understanding. I was excited for him, because I knew that he was going to do well on it.

 

We corrected our quizzes in class just before the bell rang and when it did, Louis immediately came up to me with a huge smile on his face.

 

“I got twenty out of twenty-five.” Louis said nearly jumping up and down where he stood.

“Louis! That’s so awesome!” I exclaimed, letting my excitement show.

“I know!” He said just as excited as I was.

“Mr. Tomlinson. Miss Carver.” We heard and immediately turned in Mr. Dixon’s direction.

“Keep up the good work.” He smiled at the both of us.

“Thank you.” Louis smiled back as the teacher went back to his business.

“Louis this is so amazing.” I told him as we headed out of the classroom.

“Hey so, I can’t come over today.” He said, his smile immediately falling off of his face.

“Oh okay.” I said showing a little more disappointment than I had planned to.

“Mom wants me home for dinner and stuff. Says she hasn’t seen me around the house enough.” He said rolling his eyes.

“Hey, that’s a start.” I said on his relationship with his mother.

“Yeah well, I was wondering if you wanted to come over. We could hang out and maybe you could have dinner at my house for once.” He said, shrugging his shoulders passively.

 

Butterflies raided my stomach.  _Oh my god_. Dinner with the parents. It felt so formal even thought I knew it wasn’t that big of a deal. He wasn’t showing me off to them or anything. But the fact that he even wanted to invite me to dinner was great.

 

“Yeah, sure. I mean, I’d have to talk to my dad first, but yeah.” I said told him, letting my smile come back with a vengeance.

“Awesome. Just uh, just come by after school.” He smiled back at me.

“Okay.” I nodded at him as he headed off to his locker.

 

One more class of the day and then I would be meeting Louis at his house. My excitement resonated through my body. He made me feel things that I had never consciously felt. It was powerful.

 

 

 

At 3:15pm I stood knocking at Louis’s front door. It didn’t take him long to answer.

 

“Lux. Hey.” He said with a wide smile.

“Hey.” I smiled back.

 

He was already changed out of his school clothes and into a t-shirt and running pants, which looked unbelievably good on him.

 

“Wanna go hang out in my room?” He asked, cocking his thumb back toward the stairs.

“Yeah, sure.” I said as I moved passed him into the entryway before he shut the front door.

 

I followed him up the stairs to his room, where I could hear the simple sounds of Radiohead coming through his stereo. Louis closed the door behind him once we were inside, making it more private in an instant.

 

“I still can’t believe that I did so well on that quiz, Lux.” Louis said happily.

“It’s great, Louis. It’s really great.” I smiled as I turned to face him.

“It’s all thanks to you.” He smiled, the fondness in his eyes as he looked at me made me blush slightly.

“You’ve had the potential inside of you all along, you just needed to find it.” I said, sounding like a bad after-school special or something. He only chuckled and shook his head lightly.

“What?” I asked with a smile.

“You sounded like a Hallmark card or something.” He chuckled, which only made my blush worse.

“Shut up.” I said, biting my bottom lip to try to stifle my smile.

“No, it’s cute.” He laughed, taking a few small steps toward me.

“Well, it’s true, Louis. You worked really hard and you deserve that grade.” I told him, feeling pride flow through me.

“So what do you deserve for all your hard work?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow.

 

I could see it in his eyes – he had a reward that he wanted to give to me. And it involved the two of us and his bed.

 

“Your grade is rewarding enough.” I told him.  _Was that playing hard to get?_

“You’re a great tutor, Lux. Maybe you should become a teacher.” He said taking a couple more steps, closing in on me.

“I hadn’t thought about it.” I said quietly as he finally bridged the gap between us.

“Well today… I don’t want to study though.” He said as his lips hovered over my own.

“Oh—” I breathed out just before his lips met mine.

 

_“I don’t wanna be your friend. I just wanna be your lover. No matter how it ends. No matter how it starts. Forget about your house of cards. And I’ll deal mine.”_  The beginning of Radiohead’s _House of Cards_  played through the stereo as Louis coaxed me down onto the bed.

 

“Are your parent’s home?” I breathed out, playing scenarios in my head where this time his mom or dad catches us instead of his little sister.

“Don’t worry about it. I locked the door.” He told me confidently.

“Okay.” I nodded just as his lips covered my own again as he continued kissing me.

 

Our kisses took on a new life of their own. We were hungry for each other. It was reckless and needy and it made my head spin – in a good way. Louis’ hands worked fast and hard over my breasts, squeezing and petting as he went along. My hands were gripped tightly onto his back, not really having the nerve to put them anywhere else.

 

“Do you still feel uncomfortable?” Louis asked tugging at my shirt, looking down into my eyes after he pulled away.

 

It caught me off guard, but somehow I was internally prepared. I pulled myself up, and Louis was forced to sit up too because of my sudden movement. He had a worried expression on his face, probably fearful that he had said the wrong thing, thus ending it. But when I grabbed at the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, his eyes lit up and his smile was not far behind.

 

“Lux…” He breathed out as he pressed forward to kiss me, once again coaxing me back onto the bed.

 

His hands tickled up the length of my sides as his tongue danced in sync with my own. Knowing that Louis was more experienced than I was, was a little unnerving, but I knew that I had control of the situation because I trusted Louis. He would stop if I felt things were getting too out of hand. I was counting on that, because I was scared to death of everything we were doing, yet it completely enthralled me at the same time.

 

“Lux?” Louis breathed against my lips.

“Hmm?” I hummed out.

“Do you mind if I took off my shirt too?” He asked, sounding hopeful.

 

My heart nearly beat out of my chest. Shit was getting real. I think Louis noticed the stiffness my body took on because he started to stammer and pull back slightly.

 

“I don’t have to. I mean… but if I do, we can just, ya know… we don’t have to do anything else. I don’t want to pressure you. I’m not looking for anything that you’re not willing to give.” Louis rambled out.

“It’s okay.” I told him softly.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes really trying to real my own.

 

I nodded in response, looking into his bright blue eyes that always reminded me off the ocean – they were almost as wide and mesmerizing.

 

He hesitated just for a second, probably making sure that this was what I really wanted, before he pulled his shirt over his head. My breathing hitched in my throat, I couldn’t help it. My eyes raked over his well-defined abdomen and then up his chest. This was all new to me. Sure I had seen shirtless guys on TV and on occasion at a swimming pool or the beach, but nothing like this. Not with the boy that I liked hovering over me in a sexually charged position. Not with me too having my shirt off in front of the shirtless boy.

 

“Is this okay?” He asked after tossing his shirt to the side.

 

I nodded, unable to find words for a proper response. He was utterly beautiful.

 

Louis’ eyes flitted over the white material of my bra, before they met my gaze again. And we were silent in the moment, but our eyes were speaking volumes. There was so much left unsaid, but we felt it all.

 

I reached up, grasping as his sides to pull him back down on top of me. The feeling of his skin against my own was almost too good – almost too tempting. It was racy and provocative and forbidden. The adventure was like a drug – consuming, addicting.

 

I moaned against Louis’ mouth, unable to hold back. The mixture of our body contact, the hormones racing through our systems, and Radiohead flowing through the speakers was intoxicating.

 

Louis’ hands worked their way down to my thighs, pulling them up, putting his body fully between my legs. We had never been so intertwined before. I didn’t know how to feel. The moment was getting the best of me. His hand gripped tightly against my thigh as he tugged it up even further, and I could feel the excitement that he no longer could hold back. I could feel the pressure of it against me and it made me go mad almost immediately.

 

_Had I really excited him that much? Did I actually have the power to turn him on?_

 

Louis’s lips worked down my neck, before he boldly kissed a trail down my chest.  _Oh my god_. He was turning me on so much. I almost couldn’t breathe. My skin tingled as his hands slid up my stomach slowly, before taking a grasp on each of my breasts. And my breathing hitched when his lips came down to kiss the top of them.

 

_Oh my good god._

 

My head was tipped back slightly and I was panting. I was aware of that, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help a lot of things that my body was doing.

 

“Fuck, Lux. You are so…  _beautiful_.” Louis breathed against heated my skin.

 

My heart squeezed in my chest and my eyes welled with tears, before I willed them away. I had never strived for approval from others. I had never needed to have everyone like me or want me near them. But hearing those words out of Louis’ mouth in a moment like that, did something to me. His approval meant so much to me. I couldn’t even begin to explain it.

 

I felt his mouth get closer and closer to my breasts as his hands worked over the material of my bra. And I knew he wanted more. I knew he was begging for more without actually begging.

 

“Louis…” I breathed out.

“Yeah?” He stopped immediately and looking up at me.

 

I sat up slightly, as best I could with him on top of me.

 

“Is everything okay? Did I—” He looked as if he were panicking, like he thought he had messed everything up.

 

I kissed his lips to calm him a little before I pulled back. He sat up, which allowed me to sit up all the way.

 

“I’m sorry.” He said and bowed his head.

“No…” I breathed out as I reached my hands behind my back and unhooked my bra, letting it fall forward off of my chest.

 

Louis’ eyes seemed to look up in slow motion, wide as can be, fixating on what he had silently been begging for.

 

“Lux…” He breathed out.

“It’s okay, Louis.” I told him.

“Are you sure?” He asked looking into my eyes.

 

Once again, I nodded, before lying down flat against the mattress.

 

Louis took a deep breath in before he came back down on me, pulling my legs up around his waist again.

  
“Lux…” He breathed against my lips again before he kissed my mouth hard.

 

It took him a little while to work up the nerve to touch my bare chest, it was almost endearing. He seemed so shy about it now that they were out in the open, like he didn’t have any experience touching a girl. It made me wonder.

 

But once his hands were on me, it almost felt liberating – like it was the inauguration of my sexual discovery.

 

Louis’ mouth was driving me absolutely insane, as he swirled tiny circles over the heated skin of my collarbone. I wanted so badly to moan out – to let him know how he was affecting me, but I held it in. And then his mouth made the slow descent down my chest, leaving my skin tingling in its wake.

 

My breathing slowed as my heart rate increased.

 

And as if he could not control his body any longer, Louis thrust his lower half against me, causing a breathy gasp to expel from my throat. My body was hyper-aware of his on top of mine and every single spot it was touching me, and he made me want so much more – even though I knew I wasn’t necessarily ready for  _everything_  quite yet.

 

His mouth moved down the crevice between my breasts, trailing his kisses all the way down my torso and then back up. He stopped steady once he reached my breasts again, as if he were contemplating his next move. I sat there wishing he would make it, because the suspense he kept me in was almost too much to handle.

 

Making up his mind, Louis’ mouth wrapped around my left nipple and my whole body shuddered from the feeling. I almost couldn’t believe I was letting such a thing happen, but the sensation that worked its way through my body kept me from protesting. His mouth was warm and inviting, and made my body tingle. And I just didn’t want him to stop – especially when his body thrust against me again, earning an involuntarily gasp out of my mouth.

 

His mouth worked hard and fast, swirling his tongue around the hardening bud of my nipple, causing it to pucker once his mouth let up. Louis kissed his way across my chest before he moved on to its partner, doing the just the same as he had before. And I wanted to cry out, or scream, or something. But I knew that it would only get us caught, and we didn’t need that.

 

His body thrust against me a couple more times, causing me to whimper as my heart rate skyrocketed. It was almost too much. And I felt like we were getting way too ahead of ourselves.

 

“Louis…” I breathed, grasping gently onto the side of his face, pulling his face up to mine.

“Yeah.” He answered breathlessly.

“I think… I think, that maybe we should slow down.” I told him, hating myself just a little bit for putting the brakes on.

“Oh-okay.” He stammered, bracing himself up on his arms as he hovered above me.

“I just… I think we might be moving a little fast.” I told him, feeling my cheeks nearly start on fire due to how badly they were burning.

“Lux, it’s okay. If… if you feel uncomfortable, it’s okay.” He told me.

“I mean it’s not—I mean… okay.” I stammered out before I just conceded and nodded my head.

 

Louis leaned down kissing my lips sweetly before he rolled off of me onto his back next to me. My intentions weren’t to stop, but to merely slow down.

 

“Louis…” I breathed out through the stillness.

“Hmm.” He answered seconds before there was a rapid succession of knocks on his bedroom door.

 

Louis shot into a sitting position as I scrambled to find my shirt.

 

“YEAH!?” Louis called out.

“Dinner’s ready, sweetie.” We heard his mom’s sugary sweet voice through the door.

“I’ll… I’ll be right down.” Louis yelled loud enough for his mother to hear.

 

I already had located my bra and was replacing it back on my body as Louis stood up from the bed, adjusting himself. How he was going to go down stairs and face his family with a hard-on in his running pants, I had no idea. But I also wasn’t going to point it out.

 

I replaced my shirt on my body and stood up from the bed, as Louis found his shirt and put it on. He also covered up with a hoodie, which surprisingly enough came down far enough to cover himself up. It was kind of ingenious.

 

“Ready?” He asked looking over at me.

“Can I… can I go to the bathroom first?” I asked, really needing a moment to myself to process what had just happened between us.

“Sure. Yeah.” He said as we moved toward his bedroom door.

 

Once I was in the bathroom, I took a deep breath and let it out before I looked in the mirror making sure that I didn’t  _look_  like Louis and I were just half naked, dry humping up in his room. That was when I noticed a speckling of tiny purple bruises across my collarbone.

 

Hickies!  _Plural_. Meaning more than one.

 

Louis gave me hickies. How the hell was I going to sit around a table with his parents sporting little love bites on my neck as plain as day?

 

I whipped open the bathroom door to find Louis leaning against the hallway wall.

 

“You okay?” He asked giving me a questioning look.

“Uh… can I borrow a sweatshirt?” I asked, using his same ingenious idea.

“Sure, come on. Are you cold?” He asked as I followed him back to his bedroom.

“Uh… my neck is screaming ‘Louis was here’.” I told him as I let my finger slide over the marks on my neck.

“Huh?” Louis paused his quest of finding me a hoodie, to give me a look of confusion.

“Hickies. You gave me hickies.” I told him flat-out.

“OH.  _Ohhhh_.” He said as his eyes met my neck line, going wide.

“Shit. I’m sorry.” He said as he pulled a back Adidas sweatshirt off a hanger and handed it to me.

“It’s okay. A little inconvenient to flaunt at dinner with your parents though.” I smirked as I pulled the sweatshirt over my head.

“Yeah. I guess it would be.” He snickered, and I almost wanted to smack him for the teasing quality in his laugh.

 

I followed Louis down to the dining room where his family was already seated at the table waiting for him – for  _us_.

 

“Hello—uh, I’m sorry… I seemed to have forgotten your name.” Louis’ mother greeted me with a smile.

“It’s Lux, Mum.” Louis scoffed and I could only imagine him rolling his eyes at her.

“Forgive me. It’s a unique name. Not one that you hear every day.” She said looking up at her only son.

“And who is Lux?” Louis’ step-father looked up at the two of us, quirking a questioning eyebrow.

“Louis’  _tutor_.” His younger sister, who I knew to be Lottie, chimed in, putting special emphasis on the word ‘tutor’. She had been the one to catch us making out that first time after all. Louis scoffed at his sister, shaking his head.

“Oh, what subject? Louis can use all the help he can get.” His step-father said, making me bite my lip at the patronizing way that he had said it.

 

Louis sighed as the two of us took our seats. I immediately felt bad for him, remembering how he had described the way that his step-father treated him. The man had absolutely no faith in him what-so-ever and it was sickening.

 

“Trigonometry. And Louis is doing wonderfully. He just got twenty out of twenty-five on the pop quiz we had today.” I said talking Louis up.

“Great.” His mom said with a smile.

“When you come home with passing marks, we’ll celebrate.” His step-father scoffed.

 

I could feel the tension between him and Louis at the dinner table and it made me uncomfortable and angry.

  
“I think he’s doing awesome. He makes  _me_  proud.” I said as I smiled over at Louis, only to catch the side of his face. My words were truthful, and my intentions were to shut his step-father up.

“Hmm.” His step-father grunted as he began shoveling food onto his plate.

 

My eyes stayed on Louis, who was looking down at his empty plate, as his jaw muscles clenched and unclenched. I had a feeling that if I were able to read his mind, it would bring tears to my eyes. I wanted so badly to comfort him, to make him feel better. My hand found his upper thigh under the table and I ran it along the sinewy muscles for a few seconds before I patted it and pulled my hand back to my own lap. Louis looked over at me, giving me a small smile, but I could still see the sadness in his eyes.

 

“So, Lux. What are your plans for after high school?” Louis’ mother asked me, changing the subject as everyone began to eat their dinner silently.

“Uh, well. College, I guess.” I said, shrugging my shoulders lightly.

“You  _guess_?” Her husband chimed in.

“Yes.” I said sternly, not appreciating his judgmental tone.

“There are barely three months left of your senior year and you  _guess_  that you will be going to college? You sound like Louis. He’s banking on a football scholarship.” His step-father gripped.

 

I took a deep breath in, getting incredibly annoyed with the way that I was being spoken to and the way that Louis was being spoken about.

 

“Soccer.” Louis said quietly, correcting his step-father’s use of the European term for the sport. I watched the glare that Louis earned with his correction and it only added to my annoyance.

“I’ve never seen Louis play, but I have heard many great things about his talent in  _soccer_. I believe that the scouts will see his talent just as everyone else sees it. I don’t believe it is that implausible of a feat.” I immediately came to Louis’ defense, not because I thought he needed someone to speak for him, but because I felt such a strong territorial sense when it came to him.

 

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Louis smirking lightly to himself. Everyone else was staring at me with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

 

“It’s a pipe dream.” His step-father said under his breath.

“And what if Dave Beckham or Pelé or Diego Maradona’s father’s had disregarded their dreams as you are doing to Louis’? What would have happened to them?” I retaliated almost immediately, listing off literally the only three famous soccer players that I knew to help emphasize my point.

 

Louis’ step-father’s eyes seemed to shoot daggers at me, but I didn’t care. The disrespect that came from that man astounded me. No wonder Louis hated being home. No wonder he sought refuge with his friends.

 

The remainder of dinner was eaten in silence. There was a thick tension wrapped around the dining room. But Louis kept stealing glances at me giving me little smirks. Louis and I helped his mother with the dishes and the overall clean up after dinner. I washed the dishes as Louis’ mother sent him out with the trash.

 

“Louis needs someone like you in his life.” His mother told me. I looked up at the beautiful brunette woman, wondering what exactly she meant and hoping that she’d elaborate

“His father can be rather harsh on him. Louis has always been the rebellious type. He’s the only boy and—.” She began to explain.

“And he’s not really his father’s son.” I said quietly. She looked at me with wide, questioning eyes, almost completely baffled that I would know something like that.

“Louis told me all about how he gets treat.” I said bitterly, still feeling the aftershocks of that dinner.

“He’s always had it harder because of that.” She said quietly, looking away from me as if she were embarrassed.

“Well, knowing that fact and continuing to ignore him doesn’t help anyone.” I said, still in the mind frame of sticking up for Louis.

“I know.” She said quietly.

“Louis is an amazing person with a big heart. He doesn’t deserve that.” I breathed out, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes.

 

But it wasn’t only my eyes that were having trouble staying dry. His mother hung her head and I heard a sniffle escape. Had I just made her cry? As Louis walked back in, his mother bypassed him and exited the kitchen almost immediately, keeping her head down.

 

“What was that about?” He asked, giving me an odd look. I stood there stunned for a moment, staring at the empty doorway, wondering if I had been too harsh.

“Uh, nothing.” I said, realizing that I had only spoke the truth, and she needed to hear it. I sunk my hands back into the warm soapy water and went back to washing the dishes.

“Thanks for hanging out. And thanks… thanks for what you said.” Louis said quietly as he began drying the dishes.

“You deserve to have someone stick up for you.” I told him as I scrubbed a pan.

“Hey…” He said, calling for my attention.

 

When I looked up at him, he planted his lips against mine, giving me a quick, yet satisfying kiss before he pulled back to finish drying the dish in his hand.

 

A smile spread across my face and as if contagious, one spread across Louis’ too. And I knew then and there that things with Louis were no longer just casual. Things between us were progressing at a rapid rate and it made me truly happy.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo-hoo. Progression! I just want to say that I know next to nothing about soccer, and I literally had to google "greatest soccer players of all time" to find some soccer players names to list off along with David Beckham's - because literally he is the only soccer player that I could name to save my life. Eeep. Haha.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this! There's much much much more in store for our two little love birds, believe me. I hope I can keep your attention long enough to get to it!
> 
> I would love for some feedback! I really enjoy and appreciate it! :)
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	9. xChapter 9x

After the night I spent at Louis’ house and the hickies that he had left behind as a result of our hot and heavy make-out session, I had to find creative ways to cover my neck up so that my father didn’t see. Thankfully it was still pretty chilly outside, being only March, so my plethora of decorative scarves came in handy. Having one adorning my neck at all times, dad was none the wiser.

 

“Soccer practice starts on Monday after school.” Louis told me as the two of us walked up to my front door that Friday having just gotten there from school.

“Oh.” I said quietly.

 

I knew it was coming – that Louis and I wouldn’t be able to continue our rendezvous’ after school anymore, but it was still disappointing.

 

“Every day?” I asked as I unlocked the front door.

“At least for the first three weeks of practice.” He told me with a frown.

 

I nodded because I didn’t know what to say. The disappointment was a bitter pill to swallow down. And I hated it.

 

“Hey, at least I made the team.” He brightened up.

“Of course you made the team. You’re the Captain. You were the Captain during your junior year.” I said rolling my eyes at his modesty as we walked into the house.

“Yeah. I guess.” He nodded his head.

“I’m happy for you – that you made Captain again.” I said smiling at him as I threw my backpack at my feet by the front door.

“Thanks.” He smiled, doing the same with his backpack.

 

After we discarded our jackets, I started walking toward the living room, but Louis caught my arm.

 

“Hey.” Louis said pulling me toward him.

“What?” I smiled as my body collided with his.

“This.” He said and kissed my lips. I giggled against his.

“It’s kind of hard to have a special moment when you’re giggling.” He chuckled.

“Sorry. It just… it caught me off guard.” I continued to giggle.

“You don’t like my suave moves?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“Oh, it’s working. Believe me.” I laughed, really enjoying myself with him.

“Lux, is that you?” I heard my dad call through the house.

 

Out of instinct, I pushed out of Louis’ arms just as my dad came around the corner.

 

“LOUIS! Hey, buddy! How did try-outs go?” Dad said shaking Louis’ hand.

“Good, good. I made the team.” He smiled widely at my father.

“Of course you did. I didn’t have a doubt in my mind that you would. Captain again?” Dad praised him, and it made me smile.

“Yes, sir.” Louis beamed at him.

“My man. Congrats.” Dad told him, looking proud.

“Thank you.” Louis smiled widely.

“What are you doing home, dad?” I asked, wondering why he was home at three o’clock in the afternoon when he didn’t usually get home until after five.

“I have a late meeting tonight with a few business clients. I took a few hours off. You guys interested in going out for an early dinner with me tonight? We can celebrate Louis’ second year as Captain.” Dad asked, smiling from ear to ear.

“That would be awesome. I’m down.” Louis said with a smile, looking up to my father as if he were God or something. I knew why too and it pretty much broke my heart.

“Luxy?” Dad asked looking over at me.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” I agreed.

“Good. When do you wanna go? Around five?” Dad asked.

“Sounds good.” I said feeling a little disappointed that Louis and I wouldn’t get to have our after school _special time_ on the last day we possibly could. But I knew that a celebration for Louis’ accomplishment was deserved and that he wouldn’t get something like this elsewhere.

“Go ahead and work on your homework, guys. I’ll be in the office.” Dad said with a smile.

“I-I don’t have any homework today.” I said awkwardly.

“Me neither.” Louis said with a smile still plastered to his face.

“Oh. Well, Louis. I’m glad to see that Luxy is keeping you around then.” Dad smiled, giving me a knowing look.

“I’m pretty glad too.” Louis smiled over at me.

 

I could feel the blush that crept up my face. Dad’s smile was so wide that his cheeks were causing his eyes to form into mere slits. He was cheesing super hard, and it was embarrassing.

 

“Go have fun in your office, dad.” I said shooing him.

“Oh, ha. Yeah. Dinner at five, remember.” He said pointing his finger at both me and Louis.

“Yeah.” I confirmed as I watched my father disappear down the hallway.

 

I walked into the living room and Louis followed right behind me.

 

“Why did you do that?” Louis asked vaguely.

“Do what?” I asked, flopping down on the couch.

“Why did you push me away when you heard your dad coming?” Louis asked sitting down next to me.

“I don’t know. It’s weird.” I said, grabbing the TV remote.

“What’s weird? The fact that we kiss?” He asked.

“No. My dad _knowing_ that we kiss. I just… it’s weird.” I told him.

 

Louis was silent as I turned on the TV and started flipping channels.

 

“Is that really the reason?” He asked after a few moments.

“What?” I asked getting lost in the channel surfing that I was doing.

“That you think it’ll be weird if your dad knows that we kiss.” He said.

“It’ll be really weird, Louis. And besides, if my dad knows, then how are we going to spend time alone in my bedroom or in this house for that matter? My dad will be watching us like a hawk.” I told him.

“I hadn’t thought of that.” Louis said quietly.

“See. It’s weird. It’s just better if we keep this on the _down low_.” I told him.

“Okay.” He said quietly.

 

From the office, I could hear my father on the phone and I knew that the coast was clear, so I leaned over and kissed him – thus leading us into a mini make-out session on the couch, until I heard dad’s phone call end. So once again I pulled away.

 

“I kind of wish that your dad wasn’t here. I feel like we got jipped on our last time hanging out afterschool.” Louis told me.

“I was thinking the same thing when he showed up.” I giggled.

“We’re just going to have to get creative on when and where we get together now.” He smiled at me.

“Are you busy tonight?” I smiled back at him.

“Tonight?” He asked.

“Yeah, my dad will be gone with clients.” I cocked an eyebrow at him.

“ _Ohh_. I see.” He said catching my drift.

“Didn’t think of that, huh?” I said poking his stomach.

“Hey!” He said grabbing my wrist.

“Are you ticklish?” I asked poking him with my other hand.

“YES! Are you?” He asked poking me back.

“YES!” I yelped out.

“You don’t want to start this then!” He laughed, and I couldn’t help but giggle. As much as I hated to be tickled, passing up the opportunity to flirt with Louis was much, much worse.

 

I squeezed his side with my free hand and he squirmed wildly, until he retaliated, dropping my hand so he could get me with both of his. He was relentless and I nearly had tears streaming from my eyes as my giggles turned into gasps.

 

“Have you had enough?” He chuckled, stilling his assault to get my attention.

“YES! PLEASE! LOUIS! PLEASE!” I gasped, the giggles still apparent in my tone.

“Okay.” He said and pulled back, eyeing me with a smile on his face.

“ _Jesus!_ ” I gasped, wiping at my eyes.

“I told you that you didn’t want to start.” He laughed, cocking his eyebrow at me.

“I didn’t think you were crazy.” I laughed, fixing my messy ponytail.

“I didn’t think _you_ were crazy.” He retorted comically.

 

I giggled as I focused my vision back on the TV, sitting a little closer to Louis than before. I loved every second that I could get with him, even when he was torturing me with unrelenting tickling.

 

Moments later, Louis grabbed my hand and linked our fingers together so that he was holding mine. He felt my slight hesitation as I looked toward the hallway where my dad sat two rooms away, so he buried our hands between our legs on the couch. It was a sweet moment and I smiled up at him to show him how I felt, and I was rewarded as he leaned down, kissing my lips.

 

 

 

“Here’s to Louis – for making the team and for once again making team captain.” Dad said proposing a toast as we sat at our table at dinner.

 

The three of us raised our glasses up into the middle and clinked them together then took our sips concluding the toast. Louis couldn’t stop smiling and I loved seeing him so happy and animated. Usually there was a sadness in his eyes that never left even when he was smiling, but tonight, it was like he wasn’t broken. It was like he was a different person because he truly felt welcomed and wanted. And that had to have meant something. I knew it meant something.

 

“So Louis, have you thought any more about playing soccer next year in college?” Dad asked him.

“Dad, haven’t you already asked him about this like 900 times?” I asked rolling my eyes.

“Luxy…” Dad said giving me an unamused look. Like how dare I interrupt the soccer talk.

“I’m hoping to be able to get a scholarship to play soccer next year.” Louis happily obliged my father with the same answer he always had. My father just loved talking sports with Louis, no matter how many times the same question got brought up.

“They’ll be watching you this year and they’ll be fighting for the chance to snatch you up.” Dad smiled confidently at Louis.

“I sure hope so.” Louis chuckled, obviously loving the reassurance that my father always brought forth.

“So, if you had the pick of colleges, where would you like to go?” Dad asked Louis.

“A dream of mine his heading back home to the UK, you know. But that’s a long shot. Scouts don’t come all this way for soccer, unfortunately.” Louis told my dad with a shrug.

 

My stomach clenched hearing him talk about his dream to go back to Europe. I didn’t even want to think about how many miles that would put between us.

 

“Other than that, I’d love to go to school somewhere on the west coast.” Louis finished, sating my fears in an instant. The west coast had always been a dream of mine for college. If he went there, we’d be close.

 

My thoughts instantly made my cheeks reddened, because Louis and I weren’t even dating and I was already internally freaking out over being away from him for college. I needed to dial it back a little.

 

“I hear southern California has some good teams. UCLA and San Diego have been doing pretty well this year.” Dad offered.

“California would be a dream.” Louis smiled.

“Dad, where do you get this information?” I sniggered.

“I happen to know a lot about soccer, Lux. And I swear I am bringing you to at least one of Louis’ games this season.” Dad chuckled.

“Fine. If you’re _dragging_ me.” I rolled my eyes, even though I had already planned to attend Louis’ games.

“Oh, how nice.” Louis said sarcastically, smiling over at me.

“Soccer doesn’t exactly mesh well with my social calendar, but I guess I could make an appearance.” I told Louis, batting my eyelashes playfully at him.

“Oh, you’d do that for me? You’re so kind.” Louis said, scrunching his nose up at me.

“You know, I’m really glad that you two are friends. At first I didn’t think it was going to happen. Luxy, you can be so hard headed at time.” Dad chuckled, breaking us out of our moment, as he looked between the two of us.

“Yeah, dad. We know just how determined you were to see us as friends.” I said rolling my eyes.

“Am I embarrassing you, sweetie?” Dad smiled over at me.

“No, not at all.” I said sarcastically as Louis chuckled at mine and my father’s bickering.

“When we get home, maybe we can pull out your baby pictures for Louis to see.” Dad laughed.

“That’s below the belt, father. Don’t even think about it.” I sneered playfully at him, causing both him and Louis to laugh.

“I’d love to see some pictures of Lux as a baby.” Louis said to my father.

“No way! Don’t even.” I pointed my finger at my father.

“We’ll have to keep it on the down low, Louis.” Dad winked at him.

“I will disown you both!” I threatened and they both laughed heartily.

 

Overall, dinner was a good time. I was with two out of three of my favorite boys in the whole world – Tyler being the third. Louis was smiling and laughing and he was at ease, instead of constantly trying to hide his sadness so no one would see. It brought me back to a playful conversation that my father and I had about my father adopting Louis. It made me almost wish that it could happen, for Louis’ sake. My father and Louis got along so well, it was a shame that his own father couldn’t see what my father saw.

 

After dinner, Dad dropped us off at the house and immediately took off because he was already running late for his meeting. As soon as we had the front door closed and locked, Louis had his lips on mine.

 

“Eager, are we?” I giggled through his kisses.

“I don’t know when the next time I’ll get to do this will be.” He said smiling into the kiss.

“This weekend.” I giggled.

“Your dad is always here on the weekends and my parents are home this weekend.” Louis pointed out.

“Well, then you’re right. What time do we have to lose?” I said, grabbing his hand to lead him to my bedroom.

 

I couldn’t believe the level of comfort that I was feeling with Louis after only a short while. I still wasn’t exactly comfortable taking things farther than we had gone previously, but I did my best to appreciate every kiss and every touch as if I’d never feel them again.

 

As soon as we were through the door of my bedroom, Louis was pulling me down on the bed, on top of him. It was a different position than I was used to, but I couldn’t say that I hated it. At least I wasn’t the dead fish that I had imagined myself being before. I kissed him greedily, enjoying the feel of him underneath me.

 

Louis pulled off the scarf from around my neck and tossed it onto the floor with a smile on his face as his fingertips traced a line across my collarbone where he had marked me.

 

“Looks like they’re fading.” He smiled up at me, referring to the hickies he had left behind.

“Looks like you’ll have to re-awaken them.” I said as I leaned down to kiss his lips. Louis chuckled against my mouth.

“Please don’t re-awaken them.” I said seriously, changing my mind, making Louis laugh harder.

“It’s been hell hiding them from everyone. I have never worn so many scarves in my life. Luckily Tyler knows about us, because his keen eye for fashion would have noticed these scarves and it would have set off some sort of gaydar or something.” I chuckled.

“Tyler knows?” Louis asked looking confused.

“Uh, yeah. Is that okay? I mean, he’s known since… since the beginning. He kind of caught me staring at you in school. And well, Tyler is a pretty perceptive person and my best friend.” I rambled, feeling my cheeks start to burn.

“You were staring at me?” Louis smirked at me as he raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, I was confused about what was going on with us. It wasn’t… it wasn’t like that. He just… he just caught me gazing, I guess.” I tried to rephrase.

“You were gazing? Aww, how cute.” Louis said playfully, squeezing me in his arms.

“Shut up.” I said swatting at his chest.

“Kiss me.” He said with a smirk. I smiled down at him before I leaned in to fulfill his wish.

“You are so beautiful, Lux.” Louis breathed out as his blunt fingernails scratched softly down the bare skin of my sides. I did all I could not to tense when he said those words. I didn’t want my insecurities to derail is, so I decided to ignore them as I continued to kiss him back with everything I had.

 

My hair was creating a curtain around us, boxing us into our own little world as I pulled up looking into his wonder-filled eyes. And I was realizing how easy it was to get lost in him. He was intoxicating and refreshing at the same time.

 

Pulling myself up to sit astride him, Louis let out a small exhale of air sounding much like a whimper, which made me smile. His hands stayed firmly on my hips as I began pulling off my shirt. His own smile soon matched mine as I progressed out make-out a little further. Also, probably enjoying that he didn’t have to ask permission today to take off my shirt.

 

I came back down and began kissing him again as his hands freely roamed the naked skin of my back and sides before working their way to the front to my chest.

 

His hands, his greedy little hands touching me in ways that shot sensations through my body that I had only ever felt in his presence. He was like kryptonite to me – my ultimate physical weakness.

 

“Lux…” Louis breathed out.

“Hmm?” I answered looking down at him.

“How do you feel about me?” He inquired, causing my body to still and my breathing to hitch immediately.

 

I had thought about this so much in the past couple of weeks. _How did I feel about Louis Tomlinson?_ Well, quite frankly, how did I _not_ feel about Louis Tomlinson was the easier question to answer, because there was so much that I felt on a minute-to-minute basis when I was in his presence. What I didn’t feel for him? I didn’t loathe him anymore – that was for sure. How I did feel about him? Well, I guess that could be summed up with the overall way he made me feel when I was with him. _Happy_. Plain and simple. I felt happy. And happy was not a strong guiding force in my life. When you grow up knowing that your mother died because you are alive, well that doesn’t give you much to be happy about. But Louis made me happy and that was saying a lot.

 

“How do _you_ feel about _me_?” I asked, unable to say any of what I was feeling out loud.

“No. You don’t get to answer with a question. I’ve already told you that I like you.” He said firmly, his eyes flaring for a moment.

“I like you too, Louis.” I squeaked out, smiling bashfully at him.

“You do?” He smiled back.

“Of course I do.” I told him, feeling a wave of nausea in my stomach.

“ _Of course_.” He breathed out before he leaned up and kissed my lips.

 

_Of course, of course, of course._

 

I could feel Louis’ excitement below me where I sat on his body and something inside of me came to life. My body tingled all over for him. It was breath-taking.

 

“Louis…” I breathed out as I pulled myself back up.

“Yeah.” He answered. But I did not speak, I just stared down at him, appreciating the view very much.

 

I quietly reached my hands behind my back to unhook my bra, letting it fall forward down my arms before I tossed it aside. Louis eyes raked over my exposed skin, and there was something in his look that actually made me feel beautiful. I felt his thumbs caressing the bare skin of my hips and I knew they were itching to explore. I laid back down against him and let my bare breasts rest against his chest as my mouth met his once more.

 

“Mmm.” Louis moaned against my mouth as his hands came up my back, until he was gripping up near my armpits.

  
Seconds later, he had me flipped onto my back, as he worked himself between my legs. I giggled at the swift motion and the playfulness of it all.

 

“I don’t think I can promise not to _re-awaken_ your hickies.” Louis smiled down at me and I giggled some more.

“Do your best.” I said as Louis’ mouth began a trail of kisses down my neck.

“I’ll do _something_ …” He breathed against my skin. There was so much sexual innuendo behind his words, it was over-whelming.

 

His mouth worked slowly over the skin that stretched over my collarbone and I was quickly realizing why it was known as an erogenous zone. All the little microscopic hairs speckled across my skin stood on end as my body writhed beneath him. I had never wanted to be so close to someone in my entire life. And believe me, the fact that he was still fully clothed was not sitting right with me. I wanted to feel his body heat colliding with my own.

 

My fingertips moved slowly up his back, gathering up the fabric of his t-shirt as they went along, until he realized what I was doing and quickly pulled it off of his body. _Much better_. His heated lips came back down to my neck as his torso melded with my own.

 

Louis took his time kissing what seemed like every inch of my chest as his hands greedily worked my breasts. And I was panting, barely able to regulate my breathing.

 

“Lux?” Louis breathed against my skin as my chest heaved up and down.

“Huh.” I answered breathlessly.

“How… how far are you willing to go?” He stammered out, catching me completely off guard.

 

My body stiffened at the question and my brain went into immediate hyper-drive. _Oh god, oh god, oh god._

 

“I’m sorry.” He said noticing my sudden change.

“Uh…” I choked out.

“I don’t mean to pressure you. I just… I was just wondering. You don’t have to answer.” Louis said rolling over to lie next to me on the bed.

 

We laid there in an awkward silence for a little while.

 

I had no idea just how far I was willing to go. I hadn’t really thought about it. Well, I had. Everyone thinks about sex and the stuff leading up to it. But with Louis I honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. We were doing this… this thing with each other, but I hadn’t thought of it any more than fooling around – just kissing. But now with the confession of feelings for one another I suppose this might just be more than fooling around. My heart was opening up to him. I liked him. I hated when he felt sad or felt any type of pain. I wanted to defend him and protect him. And I knew that it meant something, whether it be the beginning stages of love or something else.

 

I was never the type of girl to preach abstinence. I wasn’t religious or a total prude. I had self-respect, but I didn’t think that keeping ‘pure’ was going to help me out or condemn me in the long run any. But it wasn’t like I was going around looking to lose my virginity. There was a time and a place for everything, but I wasn’t going to be a slut about it. I wasn’t going to throw myself into demeaning situations just for a little pleasure.

 

But if I found the right person to share it with, I didn’t see what the big deal was about. If it was going to happen, it was going to happen. And that didn’t make me a slut or a whore. It made me a conscious, self-aware person. I was smart and I made good decisions. And really that’s what you could judge me on – not on whether or not I was a virgin.

 

“I hadn’t really thought about it.” I breathed out through the tense silence, once again unable to speak anything that was on my mind.

“You haven’t?” He asked, nearly choking on the words, and I shook my head in response.

“It’s all that I think about.” He admitted quietly. Seconds after he said it, he looked away as if he was embarrassed, like he couldn’t believe he had said it out loud.

“I’ve never done _that_ before, Louis.” I confessed, and he looked back into my eyes.

“Neither have I.”  He admitted.

 

I was almost taken aback. I could have sworn he would have had at least one conquest in his high school years. I mean, he dated a girl from our school name Arianna for upwards of two years. I figured it had to have happened for him. But apparently it hadn’t – unless he was lying. But by the look on his face, I could tell that he wasn’t.

 

“I-I… you’re a…” I stammered out, feeling flustered.

“A virgin? Yeah.” He said finishing my awkward question.

“But you dated Arianna.” I pointed out.

“Arianna lost her virginity after she dated me.” Louis corrected, and I felt bad having even brought it up.

“And then she went around sleeping with everyone.” I stated, the words spilled out like word vomit.

“She did.” He nodded, knowing full well what his Ex had been up to.

 

We were silent again for a few moments as I let this new revelation settle inside of me. Louis Tomlinson was a virgin. And that made him so much more attractive to me.

 

“I just made things weird. I’m sorry. Forget I even said anything.” He said about bringing up sex.

“No. It’s okay. It was a legitimate question. Things have been progressing pretty fast with us.” I said as I stared at the ceiling, not quite able to look over at him yet.

“Yeah.” He breathed out.

“I just… I don’t know. I… that’s big. And I-I don’t want to like, promise you something that I might not be able to like… _fulfill_ , you know. I can’t just be like ‘let’s have sex right now’, but I mean… I can think about it. And if the time is right, I guess we’ll know it, right?” I explained, feeling fifty shades of awkward.

 

I noticed Louis’ mouth dropped open into a surprised face from my blunt words as I finally looked back over at him, and I couldn’t help but giggle at his reaction.

 

“Well, don’t you think that there should be some sort of planning ahead of time?” He asked, looking at me with wide questioning eyes.

“Why?” I asked, my eyebrows knitting into a look of confusion.

“Uh… _protection_.” He choked out.

“Oh! Uh… yeah…” I stammered, feeling completely stunned and speechless. He was totally right.

“I mean, it’s always good to be prepared, but I don’t think I’m ready. At least not right now.” I told him finally.

“Okay.” He said, nodding his head.

 

And he didn’t sound disappointed. He just took it at that. And to be honest, that made me like him even more.

 

 

 

“Louis asked me if I was ready to have sex last night.” I told Tyler as the two of us dangled our feet off his front porch.

 

It was finally a nice day out, so Ty and I were taking advantage of it by being outside.

 

“HE WHAT!?” Tyler gasped out. I stared back at my best friends shocked expression.

“LUX LYDIA CARVER. You better tell me _everything_.” Tyler said sternly.

“We didn’t have sex, Tyler!” I yelped, shaking my head.

“You better tell me everything leading up to him asking you. And then everything afterward!” He said, like a gossiping girl.

“I don’t know. We were just making out in my bed and he asked me.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“He just _casually_ asked you if you wanted to have sex?” Tyler asked, staring at me like it was the most absurd thing that he had heard in a long time.

“He didn’t ask me if I wanted to have sex. He actually asked me how far I’d be willing to go.” I corrected him.

“Oh my god. And you didn’t suck on his penis right then and there!?” Tyler asked, putting his hand over his mouth.

“TYLER! I haven’t even seen his penis! _Oh my god!”_ I yelped, shoving him in the arm.

“You haven’t seen his penis!? And he’s already talking about sex!?” Tyler gasped hysterically.

“We’ve only ever been topless together.” I admitted quietly.

“So _he’s_ seen the goods, but you haven’t?” Tyler asked, quirking his eyebrow in question.

“I enjoy him topless.” I admitted, shrugging my shoulders passively, because the thought of seeing him completely naked actually scared the shit out of me.

“There has been no below the belt touching?” Tyler asked, wanting confirmation. I shook my head, no.

“No stroking or fingering?” Tyler asked bluntly.

“ _Oh my god_.” I shook my head.

“Girl, if you’re gonna blush when I mention stroking or fingering, how are you ever going to look at that boy’s penis? I need to live vicariously through you, you know. If it were me, I’d have pleasured that scrumptious British boy long ago.” Tyler said over-dramatically.

 

I got antsy at just the thought of below the belt _anything_ , let alone pleasuring Louis. It wasn’t like I was repulsed. I was just frightened to death that I would be awkward and bad at just about everything.

 

“Look at you. You look like you’re about to vomit. Are you that scared?” Tyler asked.

“I’m… I’m not scared. It’s kind of making me nervous even thinking about it though.” I told him truthfully as I felt my face grow red-hot.

“Just, whatever you do, don’t use your teeth when you’re going down on him. _Oh my god_. Never use your teeth. A penis is a very, very sensitive appendage.” Tyler told me.

 

My eyes were probably as wide as saucers as I looked over at him. And he laughed out loud as he looked back at me.

 

“You are so adorable, Luxy.” Tyler said squeezing me into a half hug.

“How… how do I… how do I keep from using teeth?” I choked out, feeling a new-found sense of dread and terror.

“Oh that’s easy, girl. Just wrap your lips around your teeth like this.” He said demonstrating, looking rather ridiculous, but I nodded my head and noted that important piece of blow job etiquette in my brain for future reference, just in case I ever worked up the nerve to actually do it.

“And then just wet your lips and bob up and down it. The key to a successful blow job is lots and lots of saliva. The wetter the better.” Tyler said with a cheesy grin on his face.

 

I felt queasy thinking about it. In just a few months, how did I go from social outcast to all of a sudden having a very good looking boy in my bed inquiring about sex? It didn’t really make any sense to me.

 

“Are you going to do it?” Tyler inquired, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“I don’t know.” I said quietly.

“I think you should.” He smirked as he nudged me with his elbow.

“I like him a lot, Tyler.” I confessed to him.

“I know you do.” Tyler said sending me a reassuring smile.

“What if I’m bad at it?” I asked, feeling queasy again.

“Just honestly, keep your teeth covered and you’ll be the most amazing thing he’s ever had wrapped around his penis.” Tyler smirked as he put his arm around me.

“ _Oh my god_.” I groaned, hiding my face with my hand as my cheeks reddened once again.

“You know, you could always practice on me.” He told me.

“TYLER!” I yelped, pushing out of his arms.

“I’m kidding. KIDDING!” Tyler laughed, and I couldn’t help but shake my head at him.

 

 

 

I couldn’t stop thinking about my conversation with Tyler – it was literally keeping me awake that night. It made me incredibly nervous. Even the thought of seeing Louis’ penis sent a blush up my face, and Tyler was talking about me touching and _tasting_ it. _Good Lord_. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with thoughts like these going through my head.

 

I was startled by the buzzing of my cell phone on my nightstand. Quickly I grabbed it up before it vibrated itself right off the table and I noticed that I had a new text message from Louis. What was he doing sending me texts past midnight? Didn’t he know that I’d be sleeping – or at least trying to be?

 

I opened it, reading it quickly.

 

_Louis: Hey, are you awake?_

 

More awake now that the object of my desire was sending me cryptic messages in the dead of night.

 

_Lux: Yeah. What’s going on?_

_Louis: Can you come to your front door?_

****

What?

 

I shot up straight in bed. Louis was here? Right now? At 12:34 in the morning?

 

I whipped the blankets off of my body and slid out of the bed. I quickly tiptoed out of my room and down the hallway, passed my father’s room, and to the foyer. I took a deep breath before I reached for the lock on the front door. There were so many questions going through my head.

 

I unlocked it and opened the door slowly, carefully. Louis was leaning against the railing of the porch in a dark winter jacket over what I could only assume was his pajamas. He looked sad and apologetic at the same time. And my mind tried hard to come up with an answer as to why he’d be here this late at night.

 

“Louis, what are you doing here?” I asked quietly as he stepped forward toward me.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” He said quietly and I could almost see the tears brimming in his eyes.

 


	10. xChapter 10x

“Louis, what is going on?” I asked, finding him on my doorstep at 12:30 in the morning.

“Me and my dad got into a fight.” He told me, looking down at his feet, as he spoke of his step-father.

“ _Oh._ Come in.” I said moving aside as I invited him in.

 

He silently slipped by me into the warmth of the foyer, taking off his jacket automatically. As he went to slip it on the hook like he always did, I grabbed it from him.

 

“We’ll take that to my room. Dad doesn’t need to know that you’re here at 12:30 in the morning.” I told him and he nodded lightly.

 

I quietly retraced my steps back to my room and Louis followed closely behind. Once we were both in the confines of my room, I slowly shut the door and tiptoed to my bedside lamp, turning it on.

 

Louis automatically took a seat on my bed as I hung up his jacket on the hook on the back of my door.

 

“What happened, Louis?” I asked as I took a seat next to him on the bed.

“I was up playing video games and dad comes down and just starts yelling at me about how I never do anything around the house and that I should be in bed getting my rest to be geared up for soccer because soccer is pretty much the only thing that I have going for me. And then he went on about how Lottie has ambitions and aspirations and will easily make a name for herself where as I will struggle through my life because I’m lazy and I don’t have the drive that fucking Lottie has. And then he pretty much told me that if I don’t get the soccer scholarship that I better be getting a job straight out of high school because whether I move out of their house or stay, I’ll be paying rent, because again apparently I don’t do anything around there.” Louis told me in one breath, his chest heaving slightly when he was done.

 

My heart broke all over for him. He was pretty upset over his step-father’s negative comments. They upset _me_ , so I knew that they upset him.

 

“Don’t listen to him, Louis.” I told him.

“That was another one of his rants – how I never listen to him or mum. And how I have no respect for them.” Louis sighed.

“It’s no wonder you don’t have respect left for them.” I said quietly.

“But I do. I mean, they’re my parents. That’s the way that I was raised – to respect my parents no matter what.” Louis said and I nodded in understanding. That’s how my father raised me too.

“Louis, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that your dad can’t appreciate you for you. I’m sorry that he doesn’t see you like the rest of the world sees you – like _I_ see you.” I told him.

“How do you see me?” He asked looking into my eyes.

“I think you’re smart and talented and you are sweet, Louis. And you respect me and accept me and you’re a good friend.” I told him honestly.

“I do respect you and accept you.” He nodded.

“You are a good person, Louis. I don’t want your dad to discourage you. You’re going to let that talent outshine everyone and you’re going to get that scholarship. And you’re going to show all the people who told you that you weren’t good enough. You’ll see.” I told him feeling confident in my words.

“You’re really getting good at that.” Louis smirked at me.

“At what?” I asked, knitting my eyebrows together.

“Giving pep-talks.” He chuckled and I couldn’t help but blush.

“Thanks, Lux.” He said as he leaned over to kiss my cheek.

“Anytime.” I breathed out.

“Do you… do you think I could sleep here? I don’t want to go home.” He said sadly.

 

I hesitated as mine and Tyler’s conversation flooded back into my brain. I didn’t think I was ready for _that_ – not right now. So I hoped that Louis didn’t have any expectations forming in his head.

 

“Just to sleep.” Louis added, most likely sensing my discomfort.

“Sure.” I nodded.

“Thanks.” He told me with a smile.

“Come on.” I said moving up toward the head of the bed.

 

Louis crawled up the bed to settle in next to me as I pulled up the blanket. I couldn’t believe this was actually going to happen. A boy was going to sleep with me in my bed.

 

Once we were lying comfortably next to each other on the mattress, I reached over to shut off the table lamp.

 

“Lux…” Louis breathed through the dark.

“Yeah.” I answered back quickly. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat as I waited on what he was about to say.

“Seriously, thank you.” He told me, and I could hear the relief in his words.

“You’re welcome.” I told him as I reached over and found his hand, squeezing it in mine before releasing it.

“You’re a good friend, too.” He told me.

“Thanks.” I said before the darkened room fell silent again.

“Lux…” He breathed out again after a few moments.

“Hmm.” I hummed out.

“Would kissing you right now be entirely inappropriate?” He asked and my heart sped up in my chest. I had really wanted him to kiss me.

“No. Not _entirely_ inappropriate.” I said quietly, unable to hold back the smirk on my lips.

 

His hand came up to cup my cheek before his lips met mine through the dark. And we couldn’t help it. Our one kiss led to more and more kisses. We were drawn in by each other.

 

But after a little while, I had to be the voice of reason. It was entirely too late to be tangling together in between the sheets.

 

“We should probably get some sleep.” I told him as my chest heaved with exhaustion.

“You’re right.” He agreed as the two of us fell back against the mattress in our rightful places.

“Goodnight, Louis.” I said finally.

“Goodnight, Lux.” He replied.

 

Out of habit, I rolled onto my side to get comfortable and moments later, I felt his arm snake around my waist, spooning himself to me. My heart beat wildly in my chest and I couldn’t help but smile through the darkness. My heart was like a firework, exploding for him.

 

I fell asleep to the quiet inhale and exhale of Louis’ unconscious breathing in my ear. It was almost like a lullaby singing me to sleep.

 

 

 

I woke up entirely too early the next morning. The fact that there was a foreign entity in my bed really disrupted my sleep pattern. Though Louis was incredibly adorable when he slept and I still couldn’t get over the fact that he was currently sleeping next to me in my bed.

 

I took the time to watch how his eyes danced below his eyelids in his sleep and how at times he would slightly suck in his bottom lip. And I watched the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed and fully appreciated the way that the light hit him just perfectly. And in those moments, I realized that it wasn’t just a crush anymore. It wasn’t just a fling. I was falling for Louis Tomlinson. _No_ , let me rephrased that – I _had_ fallen for Louis Tomlinson. I was in love with him and realizing that scared me more than the thought of any part of his anatomy in my mouth.

 

I was thankful that Louis was still asleep when I had this revelation. I had no idea how I would have reacted if he was watching me react to the thoughts and feelings running through me.

 

Knowing that it was going to absolutely be impossible to shoo the new-found feelings and thoughts from my brain, I embraced them. I was in love with Louis Tomlinson and in this moment I was okay with it because facing him while he was asleep was so much easier than facing him while he was awake.

 

I curled up to his chest, wrapping my arms around him and willed myself back to sleep.

 

 

“ _Luuuux_ …” I woke up to Louis breathing my name softly in my ear.

 

I was confused for a moment, almost forgetting how we had spent our night wrapped up in each other’s arms. I was still snuggled up to his chest and I could feel his hand on the small of my back, tickling it lightly.

 

I looked up into his eyes and then sat up slightly, pulling away from him. My awkward nature was rearing its ugly head once I remembered the revelation that I had made earlier that morning – that I was in love with Louis.

 

“Good morning.” He smiled at me.

“Morning.” I said uncomfortably.

“Your dad is awake.” Louis said sitting up next to me.

“ _Crap_.” I said looking toward my closed door.

 

I hadn’t thought about what I was going to say to my father about Louis being here. One thing was for sure, my father would _never_ know about Louis sleeping in my bed with me.

 

“Uh, we can just say that you needed a place to go, so you slept on my floor or we can say that you just got here early this morning.” I told him.

“Okay.” Louis said. And as if my father had some sort of ESP, he was knocking on my door, ready to wake me.

“Lux?” I heard my dad through the door.

“ _Shit_.” I breathed out jumping off the bed, throwing a pillow and couple of loose blankets onto the floor immediately to make it look like Louis had slept on the floor and not in my bed.

 

Louis got up out of the bed and sat down on the computer desk chair, acting nonchalant as I scrambled to wrap my head around my father finding a boy in my bedroom.

 

I took a deep breath and pulled open the door.

 

“Hi, daddy.” I said giving him an innocent smile.

“Hi, Luxy.” He said eyeing me. I fidgeted as he cocked an eyebrow at me.

“What are Louis’ shoes doing by the front door?” Dad asked.

 

_Shit! I forgot about his shoes!_

 

“Uh, Louis is here, Daddy.” I said opening up the door wider so dad could see Louis sitting on my chair.

 

_Fucking shit_. Louis looked so tired and his bed-head was out of control. We wouldn’t even be able to lie and say that he just came over early that morning.

 

“Hi Louis.” Dad said.

“Hi… _uh_ , Chuck.” Louis said awkwardly.

“What are you doing here, Louis, at eight in the morning?” Dad asked, eyeing him.

“Uh, he had a fight with his dad and didn’t know where else to go. He needed a friend, Dad.” I cut in.

“Did you sleep here, Louis?” Dad asked, still looking over at him.

“He slept on the floor, dad.” I butted in again, trying to cut him off before he got any _ideas_.

 

Dad’s vision went between me and Louis a number of times and then to the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor before he accepted what was said as the truth.

 

“You know I like you, Louis. But the next time you need a place to crash, the couch is calling your name. I was a teenage boy once too.” Dad told him with a smirk.

“I’m sorry, sir. Of course.” Louis said nodding his head.

“No need to be so formal, Louis.” Dad chuckled.

 

_Okay seriously, Dad. How many times do you need to say his name in a matter of a minute?_

 

Louis nodded. I could feel the tension leave my body as my father so naïvely believed what his teenage daughter and the teenage boy in her room told him.

 

“Come on. I’ll make you guys breakfast.” Dad said making his way down the hallway to the kitchen.

“ _Holy shit_.” I said under my breath as I ran my fingers through my hair.

“That was close.” Louis breathed out.

“I know. My God.” I said flopping down on my bed.

“Lux?” I heard Louis asked.

“Yeah.” I answered looking over at him.

“I don’t like lying to your dad.” He said quietly.

“You wanted me to tell him that you slept in my bed?” I choked out.

“Well, no. But I don’t know… we could tell him that we like each other.” Louis offered.

“Louis… I don’t know… it’s…” I started.

“Weird. I know.” Louis said, finishing my sentence with what he knew I was going to say because I had said it so many times in the past.

“I just… I really like spending time with you and I just don’t want it ruined by my dad’s rules.” I told him.

“But we can’t even hang out after school anymore since I have soccer.” Louis pointed out.

“I know…” I said quietly.

“It’s okay.” Louis said standing up from the chair. My eyes followed him.

“Hey, breakfast is almost ready. Why don’t you guys come out of there? We can… uh, hang out in the common areas of the house… _from now on_.” Dad said, hinting that boys were not allowed in his daughter’s room.

“Dad… _stop_.” I said rolling my eyes at him. Louis followed my dad out of the bedroom without another word.

 

Thankfully my father and Louis still found things to talk about, even after all the awkwardness. And I was glad. He needed at least one adult on his side. I was glad that it could be my father.

 

Louis decided that it was best that he went home after breakfast to face the wrath of his step-father. I felt bad that he had to go home to that, but there really was nothing I could do about it. Louis only had to endure it for a few more months before he would be going to college on the full ride scholarship that I was certain he would get.

 

I walked Louis out to the front porch and let him kiss me before he left, making sure that we were hidden away enough so that my father didn’t see us.

 

When I walked back in, he was waiting for me in the kitchen.

 

“What is going on, Lux?” Dad asked sounding rather stern, which made my blood run cold. Did he just see Louis kiss me? Were we about to be busted?

“W-what do you mean?” I stammered out.

“Why did Louis show up here in the middle of the night?” Dad asked.

“ _Oh_.” I breathed out, taking a deep calming breath.

“Oh, what?” Dad asked, looking at me skeptically.

“Uh, Louis doesn’t really get along with his parents. He and his step-dad had a fight last night.” I explained.

“What kind of fight?” Dad asked, knitting his eyebrows together in concern.

“I don’t know. Like a fight.” I shrugged, not really knowing how else to explain it.

“He didn’t hit him, did he?” Dad asked, concerned for Louis.

“Oh, no. I don’t think so. Louis would have told me. I _hope_ he would have told me if that were happening.” I said, shuddering slightly at the thought.

“Okay. So they just got into an argument?” Dad asked for clarification.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Louis is a good kid. What was going on?” Dad asked, still inquiring about the fight.

“His family favors his little sister to a sickening extent. Like, pretty much Lottie can do no wrong and they pretty much always tell Louis that he should be more like her. They’re so rude to him. I’ve seen it, dad.” I said feeling extremely sad about it.

“That’s terrible. How can parents do that? They should love their children equally.” Dad frowned.

“Louis is the only on that they treat like that because he’s the only one that isn’t his step-dad’s real child. And I guess the more he rebels against them, the more he gets treated like an outcast.” I explained.

“That’s a shame. Louis is such a good kid.” Dad said shaking his head in disappointment.

“He is.” I agreed.

“Luxy, I’m so glad that the two of you have been getting closer. It really seems like Louis needs a friend like you.” Dad smiled at me.

“Yeah.” I said awkwardly. Dad had no idea just how close we’ve gotten.

“But no more boys in your room. I don’t even let Tyler in your room with the door closed and I know that he’s gayer than a rainbow.” Dad chuckled.

“I know. I had the door closed because I didn’t want to freak you out if you walked by my room in the middle of the night and saw Louis sleeping in there.” I told him.

“What freaked me out was finding Louis’ shoes and then realizing that he slept in my _only_ daughter’s bedroom with the door closed.” Dad eyed me.

“Dad, we didn’t do anything. We slept.” I told him truthfully. He didn’t need to know that we slept in each other’s arms or that we made out before we fell asleep. What he didn’t know wouldn’t kill him.

“I know. And I know that you two are just friends, but still. I would feel more comfortable if my rules are followed. Louis is a teenage boy and I _know_ how hormones work in teenage boys.” Dad told me.

“Oh my god, Dad. Please. I don’t need any insight on your adolescence.” I yelped out.

“I’m just saying… I was a teenage boy once too, Luxy. Just… I want you to be careful.” Dad told me with a chuckle, but I knew that he was serious at the same time.

“What? Do you think Louis is going to _rape_ me or something?” I choked out.

“No. No, no honey. Just be careful with boys in general. Some of them aren’t as nice as others.” He told me.

“ _Ohh_ -kay.” I said feeling and all new sense of awkward. It was the closest that my father and I had ever come to having the _sex_ talk.

 

 

 

_Louis: Can you come over?_

 

Receiving that text from Louis had sent a whole barrage of butterfly’s through my stomach. I had just had an early dinner with my father before he rushed off to meet with a client, and I was home alone with pretty much nothing to do. Plus I kind of missed him.

 

_Lux: Sure._

****

As I pulled up in front of Louis’ house, I realized that I hadn’t even gotten permission from my father to leave my own house. So I quickly text him my whereabouts – telling him that Louis needed someone to talk to about his father. I exaggerated a little, but it needed to sound believable.

 

Louis’ sister Lottie answered the door, looking pompous and bored all at the same time.

 

“Uh, is Louis here?” I asked her, hoping that our encounter would be quick and painless. She was twelve years old, but from what I had seen and heard, she was a spoiled brat with a terrible attitude.

“Are you even _allowed_ here after the way you spoke to my parents?” Lottie scoffed at me.

 

My eyes narrowed at her – this fucking twelve year old was giving me attitude and I wanted to punch her right in the jaw.

 

“Are your parents allowed to parent after the way that they verbally abuse your brother?” I shot at her.

 

Her face contorted into a look of disgust and I was certain that if looks could kill, I would be lying dead in a heap on the ground after the glare she sent me.

 

“Lux. Hey.” Louis said traipsing down the stairs with a wide smile on his face.

“You need to find better people to spend your time with, Louis.” Lottie shot at her brother, still sending me a hateful glare.

“You need to mind your own fucking business, _Charlotte_.” Louis shot back at her.

“You’re a dick.” Lottie scowled at him, apparently unhappy about him using her full first name.

“Yeah, whatever.” Louis scoffed at her as she disappeared into the other room.

“What was that even about?” Louis asked looking at me.

“It seems that your baby sister doesn’t like the way that I spoke to her father the last time I was here.” I said rolling my eyes.

“ _Oh_.” Louis said.

“Speaking of… shouldn’t you like, be grounded for sneaking out of the house last night?” I asked as I followed him up the stairs to his bedroom.

“I didn’t sneak out. I told my dad that I was leaving and slammed the door in his face.” Louis said walking into his room.

“Wow. You’d think that that would have gotten you evicted.” I chuckled as Louis closed his bedroom door behind him.

“Except that they’re obligated by law to keep a roof over my head until I graduate. But seriously, come June, I’m certain all of my shit will be thrown on the front law with a note that says ‘get the hell out’.” Louis said making a joke out of it, even though I wouldn’t put it passed his step-father to do something like that.

“So what did he say when you came home?” I asked sitting down on Louis’ bed with him.

“Nothing. That’s the best part. I’ve gotten the cold shoulder from him. I’d rather not have him speaking to me than have to listen to all the shit that comes out of his mouth.” Louis scoffed.

 

I could see it in his eyes that his feelings contradicted his words. And I knew it was tearing him apart that his step-father was shutting him out, like he didn’t even exist. All Louis wanted was to be accepted for who he was.

 

“Louis…” I breathed out, grabbing his hand. His look lingered on my eyes before he sighed.

“I can’t wait to get out of here.” He said letting his body fall backwards onto the bed.

“I can’t wait for you to get out of here too.” I breathed out.

 

Louis’ eyes met mine and I could see the admiration in them.

 

“Come here.” Louis said pulling me down onto the bed next to him.

 

He cuddled me up to his chest and held me against him. I could feel his heartbeat pounding through his shirt, through all of the beautiful skin and bone that he was made of. It was so loud and I knew it was because it was so big. Louis was so genuine and honest. It’s a wonder how I had never seen it before.

 

I leaned up and kissed Louis’ cheek as my feelings for him engulfed me completely. Endorphins were flooding my central nervous system and all I really wanted to do was be close to him and hold him and touch him and love him.

 

Louis turned his head and took my lips with his own, kissing me – and I knew that he was feeling the exact same chemical imbalance that I was.

 

He turned his body so that he was facing me and pulled me closer to him as his fingers softly trailed up the back of my shirt. My father said ‘watch out for boys’. Well, I wanted this. I wanted Louis. Not necessarily for sex, but definitely for the sexual aspect.

 

I let my own hand, that had been resting on Louis’ stomach, trail up underneath his shirt. I’d never let myself be free enough to touch him much, but I knew that after a handful of dirty make-out sessions with him, that I needed to loosen up. And I knew that Tyler would never let me live it down if I didn’t make something happen with Louis soon. Not that I was letting myself be pressured by outside forces – I _did_ want this. I wanted to open up to Louis. I just didn’t know how far I was willing to go yet. But that was what experimentation was for.

 

Faster than ever before, Louis and I were both topless in each other’s arms, tangled up in one another. The yoga pants that I had chosen to wear and the basketball shorts that Louis was wearing didn’t leave much in the way of padding between us and I could feel his hardness pressed up against me. Instead of feeling awkward about it, my body filled with heat and tingled all over.

 

Without even thinking, my hands trailed down his back, grasping onto his butt cheeks as I pulled him closer to me. Louis let out an all-too-loud pleasurable groan at the feel of our lower anatomy being pressed together.

 

“Oh my god, Lux,” He breathed against my skin, “you’re killing me.”

 

This was killing me too. My body was on fire and the lust that radiated through me, I was about certain, would kill me.

 

“H-how far have you gone with a girl?” I asked Louis, trying to get some oxygen to my brain before I passed out from it all.

“Uh… well… everything but sex.” He told me, looking down into my eyes.

“Everything?” I gulped back.

“Yeah.” He said.

“Oh.” I said. He had way more experience than I had, which didn’t surprise me since I barely even had experience with myself let alone with another human being.

“Is that bad?” He asked.

“N-no. I was just… curious.” I told him.

“What about you?” He asked.

“You’re… you’re the only person I’ve ever done anything with.” I told him.

“Anything?” He asked.

“Anything.” I confirmed.

“I was your first kiss?” He smiled sweetly at me.

“Yeah.” I said looking away, feeling embarrassed.

“Lux…” Louis breathed out.

 

My eyes met his again. He was smiling from ear to ear before he leaned down and kissed me again.

 

“For someone with no experience, you’re an amazing kisser.” He breathed in my ear.

 

_Fuck._

 

He was trying to kill me. I was certain of that. My body was screaming for him and all of a sudden, for a split second I stood in the shoes of all the sexually active people in the world and understood why they did it so often. They wanted to feel every part of a person – they wanted to feel them down to their soul. At least that’s how I felt about Louis.

 

“Do you think you’re ready… for sex?” I found myself asking him.

“Are… are you?” He choked out.

“I don’t know. I… I can’t help the way that I feel.” I told him.

“How do you feel?” He asked.

“I just want to _feel_ you.” I told him.

 

Louis’ breathing hitched in his throat and it sent an array of goose bumps all over my body. Every nerve, every cell, every particle of my being was reacting to him.

 

“Lux…” Louis breathed out.

“Louis.” I countered.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“I think I love you.” I breathed out.

 

Louis’ lips immediately crashed into mine, sending a wave of pleasure racing through my entire body. And I knew that I was ready – as ready as I’d ever be.

 

“I want to, Louis.” I told him.

 

He pulled back up to look me in the eye again.

 

“Do you want to?” I asked.

“I do.” He nodded, his honest eyes watching me.

 

My stomach clenched with excitement and anticipation.

 

“Just… one second.” Louis said pulling up off of me, getting off the bed.

 

I was confused as I watched him cross the room and dig in his closet revealing a small black tin box. He opened it and dug around in its contents before retrieving a small shiny square package – _a condom_.

 

My stomach clenched again because shit was about to get real.

 

Now would be the time to back out, to say that I had changed my mind. But I hadn’t. Louis had a secret supply of condoms waiting just for this moment and I relished in the fact that for him, _this moment_ would be shared with me. We would give ourselves to each other. Louis and I would always share this bond.

 

He walked back over, condom in hand and stood at the end of his bed.

 

“Are you sure?” He asked again.

 

My hands came down, pushing down my pants and underwear past my hips and then off of my legs, giving him his answer.

 

His eyes trailed up and down my naked body lying in his bed and I was certain that he had never seen a naked girl from his vantage point. Not one that was laid out for him like I was. It took a moment for him to react, but when he did, his hands pushed down his own clothing, letting his shorts fall to the floor.

 

I propped myself up on my elbows as I did my own once-over of his naked form. I had never seen a penis before. I don’t even think I had seen one in a movie or on the internet. I think the only true likeness to a penis that I had seen was when kids juvenilely drew them on bathroom stall doors or school bus seats. It was truly pathetic, but I lived life as a closed-off teen.

 

But here I was, in the presence of a naked boy. And well, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do next. We were just kind of awkwardly in the moment, staring at one another until Louis made a move to rip open the condom wrapper. I watched every movement he made – from retrieving the condom to rolling it down himself. My big eyes were taking in everything – _bookmarked for retrospection_.

 

When Louis crawled up onto the bed, I held my breath in anticipation. I couldn’t believe this was happening, that we were in this moment.

 

“Lux…” Louis breathed out before his mouth met mine again.

 

I could only kiss him momentarily before my oxygen supply depleted from depriving myself before. I took in a deep breath as Louis’ mouth moved to my ear.

 

“I think I love you too.” He whispered.

 

Tears automatically welled in my eyes and I couldn’t do anything to stop them. How had we come so far in such a short amount of time? It was mind boggling, but I wasn’t questioning it. I knew I felt it and I heard the honesty in his voice.

 

“If… if I hurt you, I want you to tell me. I’ll stop. I promise.” He told me.

 

I bit my lip and nodded.

 

“Just… just go slow.” I managed to say.

“I will. I promise.” He said.

 

I nodded again.

 

And the moment arrived where he finally pushed inside. I had prepared for pain after what Louis had said, but it didn’t come. All I really felt was a discomfort that I had almost expected – with it being foreign and all.

 

Louis hovered above me. I saw his Adam’s apple move up and down as he swallowed. And as I looked down, I could have sworn I saw his heart beating out of his chest. I imagined mine looking similar to that.

 

“Is it okay?” He breathed out.

“Mmhmm.” I nodded.

“Okay.” He said and let himself pull back and push in again.

 

I wasn’t going to tell him to stop because it didn’t hurt and I didn’t want him to.

 

And so it goes…

 

I lost my virginity to Louis Tomlinson on that Sunday night – on the eve before his final season of high school soccer began.

 

I didn’t feel any different physically, but emotional I grew tenfold. I felt closer to Louis, but most of all, I felt closer to myself. I was growing up, and I was learning, and Louis was the best teacher.

 

I was in love with him, and I knew this was just the beginning for us. It was the beginning of _everything_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	11. xChapter 11x

“Hello miss thing. Why are you so quiet?” Tyler asked as we sat at my house after school.

 

Tyler had offered to come over so that I wouldn’t be lonely without Louis being able to come over because of soccer practice. I jumped at the chance because Ty and I hadn’t had much time to hang out lately, and also I didn’t want to be alone. But it seemed like I was alone in my mind anyway. I felt weird. Today was weird.

 

And it was all completely on me.

 

Louis was all smiles when we saw each other at school. It was me who shied away. I mean, I didn’t ignore him, but I also didn’t go out of my way to act differently around him. We still weren’t anything more than friends. Even though in my mind, I knew that was bullshit. We confessed our love for each other. We went _all the way_ with each other. Like, that was huge. But yet, here I was analyzing and second guessing everything.

 

“Lux?” I heard Tyler’s voice again.

“Hmm.” I answered, still in a daze.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. Fine.” I said with almost a robotic tone to my voice.

“You’re acting weird.” He pointed out.

 

 _Yes, weird_. I know.

 

“Lux…” Tyler eyed me, knowing that something was eating away at me.

“What?” I asked looking back over at him.

“You better tell me what is going on right now, or so help me…” He started.

 

I sighed. I didn’t even know where to begin.

 

“LUX LYDIA CARVER!” Tyler coaxed.

 

Tyler was the only one to ever call me by my full name on a regular basis. Lydia was my mother’s name and I think my father was always too sad to use my full name when punishing me – not that he had a whole lot to punish me for.

 

“What? Nothing. It’s nothing.” I said, shaking my head.

“You are lying to my face right now. You and Louis – you’re fucking dating aren’t you? Like, secretly dating?” He asked boisterously.

“No.” I shook my head.

“YOU SUCKED HIM OFF AND DIDN’T TELL ME!?” He asked even louder.

“NO! God. No.” I said looking around making sure there was nobody to overhear his outburst.

“ _Prude_.” Tyler chuckled.

“Ty…” I said quietly, feeling uneasy.

“What’s going on, Lux?” He asked getting serious.

“I told Louis that I loved him last night.” I told him quietly.

“HOLD THE FRIGGIN’ PHONE! Say what!?” He flipped out exactly the way that I knew he would.

 

I bit my lip, eyeing him guiltily. I knew that I would have to tell him what came next, and I didn’t think I was prepared for that.

 

“Lux! You told him that you LOVE him!?” He asked, his eyes wide and questioning.

“Uh-huh.” I nodded.

“Start from the beginning. Leave _nothing_ out.” Tyler said completely intrigued.

 

I didn’t want to start from the beginning. I didn’t want to go through the whole sordid affair. I just wanted Tyler to automatically know what was going on so that he could give me advice on what to do – on how to handle myself so that I didn’t end up ruining things with Louis.

 

“Uh, I guess… uh, it starts with Louis showing up on my doorstep at 12:30 in the morning on Saturday night.” I told him.

 

Tyler gasped louder than anyone I had ever heard gasp, but that’s because everything Tyler did was over the top. He wanted you to know that he was there – the center of attention. And secretly, I envied that about him.

 

“He got into a fight with his step-dad and needed a place to go.” I continued.

“I’m dying here.” Tyler commented.

“So well, I let him stay over… in my bed.” I told him.

“That’s my girl.” He said with a proud smile.

“But we just slept. And then Sunday night I went over to his house. And well, things sort of started progressing.” I told him.

 

He gasped again for dramatic effect.

 

“And I… I just… I got so, I guess, turned on.” I said as I felt a blush creep up my cheeks.

“Mm-hmm. Boy is fine.” Tyler commented on Louis’ looks.

“And I asked him how far he had gone with a girl and he told me everything but sex.” I continued.

“LOUIS TOMLINSON IS A VIRGIN!?” Tyler gasped.

“Uh, yeah.” I said awkwardly, knowing full well that he no longer was.

“Girl… you are not the only one in love with him at this point.” Tyler told me. I chuckled a little at his bluntness.

“But uh… so like… yeah. I uh… I asked him if he was ready for sex…” I started again.

 

Tyler’s eyes went wide.

  
“And then he immediately countered the question without answering. And that was when I told him that I thought I was in love with him.” I told him.

“ _Oh. My. God_. You had sex with Louis Tomlinson last night.” Tyler gasped out.

 

I nodded my head. I knew that he had put two and two together the second that his eyes went wide.

  
“Excuse me while I scream like a little girl over here! Lux! Oh my god, Lux!” Tyler squealed.

“I just… I don’t know.” I said quietly.

 

Tyler stopped freaking out immediately, to give me a skeptic look.

 

“Do you regret it?” He asked.

“No.” I told him honestly.

“Do you still love him afterward?” Tyler asked.

“More.” I admitted feeling my cheeks blush even more, if that were possible.

 

Tyler bounced in his seat, clapping his hands.

  
“Wait! What did Louis say when you told him that you loved him?” Tyler asked.

“He loves me too, Ty.” I said giving a bashful smile.

“Lux! Wait… why are you like super depressed right now?” Tyler asked, narrowing his eyes at me in question.

“I’m not. I just… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where we stand with each other.” I told him.

“Well, in my head, the outcome of yours and Louis’ lives ends with you two getting married and having millions of sexy babies together and being totally rich because he’s like, going to be a professional soccer player.” Tyler told me.

 

I smiled at his scenario. It could happen, right? I guess, except for the million kids part.

 

Moments later, I shook the thought from my head. I needed to live in the present instead of dreaming of the future.

 

“We’re not dating. We’re just friends and it’s weird. I felt really weird around him today.” I told Tyler.

“Well, don’t let it be weird! He’s going to think that you regret it. He’s going to think you don’t like him anymore. Lux!” Tyler whined.

“But I do like him.” I said quietly.

“Fucking tell him that he’s your boyfriend and just go with it.” Tyler told me.

“Oh, cause that’s my personality. That’s how I handle things. Hell no.” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

“Make it your personality! Louis Tomlinson is in love with you! You’re in love with him! Fucking shit, Lux. It’s a done deal.” Tyler said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah.” I breathed out.

                                                                                                                                

It was a whole helluva lot easier to say than actually do.

 

Tyler left my house right around the time that my father got home from work with Chinese take-out in tow.

 

“How was school?” Dad asked as we sat at the kitchen table together.

“Fine.” I said quietly as I picked at the Lo Mein on my plate.

“Got any homework?” He asked.

“No.” I replied simply.

“Did you have fun hanging out with Tyler?” He asked, still trying to make conversation with me.

“Sure.” I said shrugging my shoulders passively.

“I bet you missed hanging out with him after spending so much time with Louis.” Dad said, taking a big bite of his Sweet & Sour Chicken.

 

My stomach clenched at the mention of Louis.

  
“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Speaking of Louis, have you talked to him?” Dad asked, as if he wanted to bring up Louis all along.

“No, why?” I asked finally looking up from my food at my father.

“I don’t know. It was just his first day back to soccer. I wondered how it went.” Dad shrugged.

 

I really did love my father’s love for Louis. It gave just another reason to believe that Louis and I were good together.

 

“I haven’t talked to him.” I too shrugged.

“Oh.” Dad said going back to eating his food.

 

I felt awkward and unpleasant and I kind of just wanted the day to end. I kind of just wanted the first three weeks of soccer practice to end so that Louis and I would have an excuse to hang out again. I didn’t really know if I needed an excuse to hang out with him anymore after what happened last night, but I would have felt more comfortable knowing when I was going to be able to see him again outside of school.

 

After dinner, I insisted that I clean up the kitchen. I needed time to think and dad had some work to get done in the office. I washed the dishes by hand rather than loading them in the dish washer. I let it be my therapy, yet I don’t know how well it worked. I was still just as confused as ever once I dried the last dish and put it away.

 

As I turned off the kitchen light and began my walk to my bedroom to just go to bed, the doorbell sounded. My head immediately turned to the sound of it. Who was ringing the doorbell? Who was here?

 

“Can you get that, Luxy?” I heard my dad call out from the office.

“Yeah, I’ll get it.” I called back as I slowly made my way to the front door.

 

I pulled it open and sucked in a deep breath when I saw Louis standing there.

  
“Hey.” He smiled at me.

“H-hey.” I stuttered out.

“Can we talk?” He asked, looking like he was feeling just as awkward as I was.

“Sure.” I said as I stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind me.

 

Louis and I moved over to the porch swing and sat down on it. The silence between us went on a little bit too long and I felt nervous because of it.

 

“Lux…” He said finally looking over at me.

“Hmm.” I breathed out.

“Why do I get the feeling that you regret everything we did last night?” Louis asked with a little less confidence in his voice than he usually had.

“Louis…” I breathed out looking into his eyes.

“You can tell me.” He said with big wondering eyes.

“Louis, I don’t.” I said quietly.

“You don’t?” He choked out. I shook my head.

“Then why… why are you acting so… weird?” He asked. I was hoping that he hadn’t noticed.

“Because Louis. Because I am weird. I’m awkward. I’m uncomfortable almost all the time. Haven’t you noticed?” I asked, feeling unpleasant.

“Yeah.” He breathed out.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized for acting the way that I did, even though I couldn’t really help it.

“I just… I thought you regretted it and… I don’t know. It made me sad.” He admitted. It made me feel even worse knowing that I had made Louis sad.

“I don’t regret it, Louis. I can promise you that.” I told him.

“Me neither.” He said.

“Good.” I breathed out.

“Good.” He agreed with a nod of his head.

 

We sat in silence for a bit. My knees were pulled up to my chest as Louis’ feet kicked off of the ground, slowly giving the swing momentum to move.

 

“How was soccer?” I asked, trying to bridge the gap between us. The silence was making me nervous.

“Good. Tiring. I haven’t even been home yet. I came straight here.” He told me.

 

I looked up at him feeling a rush of love. He came directly here from soccer practice because he couldn’t bear to go home wondering if I had regretted our night together.

 

I leaned over, kissing him on the mouth, letting it linger a little before I pulled back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Louis smiling. Seconds later the front door opened revealing my dad and I was almost fearful that my father had just caught our intimate moment, but if he had, he didn’t let it be known.

 

“Louis! Hey.” Dad immediately bellowed.

“Hey!” Louis said standing up, shaking my father’s hand.

“I was wondering who was at the door.” Dad smiled, looking over at me, then back at Louis.

“I just came by after practice to say hey to Lux.” Louis said.

“Of course you did.” Dad said, beaming ear to ear.

 

I felt awkward. Truly awkward.

 

“So, how was your first day of practice? Did the coaches work you guys to the bone?” Dad chuckled.

“Of course they did. No pain, no gain.” Louis chuckled.

“That’s right, Louis. Remember that. You gotta work hard to get where you’re going.” Dad smiled.

“For sure.” Louis agreed.

“How’re the old feet feeling?” Dad asked.

“Feeling great. I was doing pretty well tonight during warm-up.” Louis said.

“Good to hear.” Dad smiled.

“I’m pretty confident that this season is going to be the best by far.” Louis told him.

“That’s what I like to hear.” Dad chuckled.

“I should probably get going. I am beat. I just wanted to stop by and say ‘hey’.” Louis said looking over at me.

 

Dad looked over too, probably realizing that he was invading our space.

 

“Oh, sure sure. I’ll see you, Louis.” Dad said shaking Louis’ hand again.

“Yes. Definitely.” Louis smiled at my father.

“I’m going to walk him to his car.” I told my dad.

“Okay.” Dad said opening the front door as Louis and I descended the porch steps.

 

As we were walking down the path, I turned back to see my dad go in the house and close the door.

 

“He’s probably watching us from the front window.” I told Louis as we reached his car.

“So, a kiss is out then?” Louis asked.

 

I fidgeted, shifting from one foot to the next.

 

“How about a hug?” He compromised.

 

I nodded and let Louis wrap his arms around me. The hug lingered, and a part of me was grateful for the contact, while the other part of me was nervous of my father seeing it.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Louis breathed in my ear.

“Yeah.” I said pulling back.

 

Louis gave me a quick smile before he got in the car and started it up. As I walked back up the front path, Louis drove away.

 

When I got back in the house, dad was nonchalantly sitting on the couch looking at a magazine – which it was obvious he had just picked up a second before I walked in the house. He looked up, eyeing me, probably trying to read me.

 

“What?” I asked, standing there feeling awkward.

“Nothing.” He said with a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, that’s why you can’t stop smiling.” I rolled my eyes.

“He likes you. I don’t know why you can’t see that.” Dad beamed and I scoffed immediately.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that hug, Luxy.” He smirked at me.

“Oh my god. I’m going to bed.” I told him as I started walking down the hallway.

“What is so hard about giving that boy a chance?” Dad called after me.

“Goodnight!” I called back before I shut my bedroom door.

 

 _Oh, dad_. I have already given him a chance. And it was going wonderfully.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	12. xChapter 12x

Earlier in the week when my father asked me if I would ask Tyler if I could spend the weekend at his house because he would be out of town for business, all I told Ty was that I might need a place to crash. What I told Louis was that he and I had my house all to ourselves if we wanted.

 

And well, there was an anticipation that built up knowing Louis and I would have free reign over our lives and what we did for a whole 48 hours.

 

The plan was already set. My father would be dropping me off at Tyler’s house right before he left for his business trip. Then Tyler would drive me back to my house where I would wait for Louis to get back from soccer practice. And then the two of us would have the weekend to be together. His parents were informed that he was staying over at his friend Andy’s house that weekend, not that they really even cared where Louis was or who he was with. Regardless, in my opinion, it was a great plan and I was excited for it to be executed.

 

“I’ll see you after practice.” Louis whispered in my ear as we left our trigonometry classroom.

“Yes you will.” I blushed as I watched him give me a little wave and head over to his locker.

 

As I walked over to Tyler and Chelsea, who were already waiting for me by our lockers, I noticed that both of them were eyeing me, and I felt my face grow hot almost immediately. Tyler was smirking wildly at me, knowing full well what was about to go down with me and Louis tonight. And Chelsea’s look of disgust still told me that she thought Louis was a foul creature.

 

Chels and I were friends, but we were not as close as Tyler and Chels were. He was the one that befriended her at the end of our sophomore year. And well, I was just along for the ride. She was a cool girl, I had no problems with her, but I also wasn’t going to confide my deep secrets with her either.

 

“I can’t believe you’re friends with him now.” Chelsea immediately said, turning her glare on Louis who was down the hallway.

“Louis? Why?” I asked looking oddly at her.

“Because like, a couple months ago you were telling me how much you hated him.” Chelsea said looking back over at me, with a look of confusion on her face.

“I was not. I have never said that I hated him.” I told her.

“You said something along those lines.” She protested.

“If I recall correctly, you were the one who was talking bad about him and I was shrugging it off.” I countered.

“I was talking bad about him because he’s an asshole.” She scoffed, catching another glimpse of him at his locker.

“Yeah, that’s what you were saying.” I pointed out.

“What is this drama you two are stirring up?” Tyler asked, shutting his locker.

“I was just wondering why all of a sudden Lux was like, _B-F-F_ with Louis Tomlinson.” Chelsea scoffed lightly.

“Maybe she enjoys his company.” Tyler shrugged nonchalantly. He could have easily outted my involvement with Louis, but he didn’t.

 

I could always count on Tyler to have my back. He knew the most intimate details of my life, but would never share them with another soul – even a girl he considered to be one of his closest friends. He was truly my best friend.

 

“I’m sure a lot of girls _enjoy_ his company.” Chelsea said spitefully as she closed her own locker.

 

I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t even going to dignify that with a response. Clearly, her opinion of Louis was not going to be swayed even if I tried to sway it.

 

“I’ve gotta go to class. I’ll see you guys after.” Chelsea said waving us off.

“Bye sweetie.” Tyler called after her.

“Jeesh, that girl dislikes Louis Tomlinson.” Tyler giggled once Chels was out of earshot.

“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t really care for him either, I guess. It’s understandable. She just hasn’t seen the real Louis. She doesn’t know him like I do.” I said shrugging.

“Well honey, no one knows him like you do.” Tyler nudged me as he walked in the direction of our last class of the day.

“ _Shush_.” I smirked at him, nudging him back.

 

 

 

“Are you sure you’re going to be fine staying with Tyler?” Dad asked as we loaded my weekend bag and his luggage in the back of his car.

“Oh yeah. Tyler’s parents love me. And besides, it will give me and Ty a chance to catch up. It’s been a while since we’ve had a sleepover.” I smiled at him.

 

I truly hated lying to him, but unfortunately, my hormones had my teenage priorities all out of whack. Sadly, spending time with the boy I fancied was more important than telling the truth.

 

“You tell Tyler and his parents that I said thank you and that I really appreciate it.” He told me.

“I will.” I nodded.

“I could have sent you to your grandma’s but I figured you’d like Tyler’s company better.” Dad chuckled as we got into the car.

“Thank God you didn’t.” I shuttered. My grandma was a crazy cat lady – _literally_.

 

On the way over to Tyler’s, dad was going over his itinerary for the millionth time with me. Had I not already studied it so that I knew exactly when Louis would need to vacate the premise on Sunday, I would have had it memorized just by the sheer volume of times dad informed me of it.

 

“Okay Luxy. I will see you on Sunday. Have a good time.” Dad said hugging me in front of Tyler’s house.

“Bye dad. I love you.” I told him.

“I love you too, sweetie.” He said giving me a kiss on the top of the head before he got back into his car.

“Bye, Mr. Carver!” Tyler waved.

“Bye, Tyler! Thank you!” Dad waved through his open window before he drove off.

“You ready to get back home and get your man?” Tyler smirked at me.

“I really appreciate this Tyler.” I told him.

“Oh for sure. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t trying to help you get laid?” Tyler giggled as he carried my bag to his car.

“That’s _not_ what this weekend is about.” I told him.

“Oh, but I’m sure it’s going to happen.” He told me as he squished my bag in his back seat.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” I said quietly, as a blush settled in my cheeks.

 

I pulled open the passenger door and got in as Tyler got into the driver side.

 

I could feel the nerves all over my body as Tyler drove me back to the house I had just left. Louis would be out of soccer practice by now and would be on his way over soon. I had missed his presence in my life during the first week of his soccer obligations and I was excited to spend some time with him this weekend.

 

Tyler pulled up in the driveway of my house and put the car in park.

 

“I’ve got something for you. Just a little present.” Tyler said reaching over to dig into the center console of his car.

 

What he pulled out left a shocked expression on my face.

 

“I know you’re too entirely shy to buy these. And well, teen pregnancy is just _so_ white trash.” Tyler chuckled handing me a box of condoms.

“ _Oh my god_ , Ty.” I said looking around, hoping no one was witness to this.

“You’re my bestie. I’m just looking out for you.” He shrugged.

“Thanks.” I said and wrapped him into a hug.

“You’re welcome, baby girl.” He told me.

 

Without another word, I shoved the condoms in my purse and let myself out of the car, grabbing my bag from the back.

 

“Have fun!” Tyler said in a sing-song voice as I walked toward the front door.

 

I waved him off as he back down the driveway.

 

As I made my way back inside my house, a wave of anticipation washed over me. I immediately went to my room and discarded my purse and bag onto my bed before I began pacing. I was nervous – exceptionally nervous. I bit at my thumb nail as I thought about what was taking refuge inside of my purse at the moment.

 

The only time I had ever physically been in the presence of a condom was my one night with Louis and now to have a whole box taunting me from inside of my purse really fucked with me. I loved Tyler for looking out, but my obnoxious shyness was killing me.

 

Quickly, I grabbed the box from my purse and shoved it in my underwear drawer, underneath everything. Out of sight, out of mind.

 

Moments later, the doorbell sounded and I knew that Louis was now standing out on my front porch waiting for me. My stomach lurched with excitement as I made my way toward the door.

 

“Hi.” I smiled once I opened the door and saw him.

“Hi.” He smiled back.

 

We stared at each other for a few moments before I moved aside and let him in. He had his backpack on his back and the bag that he always brought to practice in his hand. He set both bags down on the bench by the door and removed his coat and shoes before grabbing me for a kiss.

 

“We’re going to have fun this weekend.” He smiled at me.

“Yeah. But remember, we do need to study for the trig test that’s coming up.” I reminded him.

“I suppose we’ll be able to find time between all of the _fun_ we’ll be having.” He chuckled. I smiled shyly at him.

“Are you hungry? I can make something to eat.” I told him pointing back at the kitchen.

“I’m starving.” Louis sighed out.

“Okay.” I nodded and we made our way to the kitchen.

“You in the mood for spaghetti?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Yes please.” He smiled.

 

I dug out all the ingredients as Louis watched on.

 

“Let me help. I love cooking.” He told me as he began to open up the package of ground beef that I had just pulled out.

“Okay.” I smiled over at him.

 

The two of us moved fluidly around the kitchen making our pasta. We were a good team and the end product was absolutely delicious. Louis even helped with dishes before we headed off to the living room.

 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” I asked as I turned on the TV.

 

Somehow, I felt the need to fill every second of every minute with something for us to do. I think deep down I was scared of what else we’d be doing if I didn’t. _Why did the thought of sex all of a sudden freak me out, when I was so willing to do it the first time?_

 

“Sure.” Louis said sitting down closely next to me on the couch.

 

I scanned through the guide menu on the satellite TV, trying to find something for us to watch. We decided on _Almost Famous_ – a movie that we both had seen, but had thoroughly enjoyed.

 

As we watched, I felt Louis’ arm slowly wrap around me, pulling me to his body. At first I was stiff and felt awkward, but eventually I relaxed, realizing I was being ridiculous. This was Louis after all. The boy who told me he loved me too.

 

“Lay down with me.” Louis said about halfway through the movie.

 

I nodded and the two of us settled together horizontally on the couch. Louis wrapped his arm around my waist, spooning me. And it all made me feel so happy and so loved. This is what it was all about, right? Meeting someone, falling in love, being happy. I couldn’t help but lie there with a smile on my face.

 

“ _God._ That would be so much fun.” Louis said as we watched the characters in the movie singing ‘Tiny Dancer’ by Elton John on the tour bus.

“What? Being on drugs and jumping into a swimming pool from a roof?” I questioned about the scene prior to this one. Louis and I both laughed.

“No. Just being on the road with your friends. Making music and performing it. I’ve always loved music.” He told me.

“I-I heard you singing.” I told him.

“When?” He asked, sitting up to look at me.

“The first time I came to your house. You were singing as I made my way to your room, remember? I told you that you had a good voice.” I reminded him.

“Oh yeah.” He said relaxing, his eyes darting away from mine. He seemed pretty insecure about it.

“What? Don’t you think you have a good voice?” I asked, trying to break him out of his shell.

“No. I mean, I do – I like my voice. Whatever.” He said shrugging, still not looking at me.

“But…?” I asked, coaxing him to tell me what he was thinking and feeling.

“I don’t know. It’s just… that’s one of Fizzy’s things. She’s the one with the good voice in the family – the musical talent. It’s… whatever.” He shrugged.

“So. That doesn’t mean that you don’t have any or can’t have any.” I told him.

“I guess.” He shrugged.

“Don’t let your sister’s or you parents hold you back, Louis.” I told him firmly.

“Yeah.” He said looking toward the TV.

“Hey…” I said trying to get his attention. He looked down at me, his eyes looking conflicted.

“You’re good.” I told him, and I meant it whole-heartedly.

 

A small smile worked across his lips before he leaned down to kiss me. I think it was his way of ending the awkward conversation about his life.

 

Before we knew it, the credits were rolling and the movie was over. And we had made out through the end of it.

 

“We… we should go to bed.” I told him breathlessly, after pulling my lips away from his.

“You’re right.” He said with a smile.

 

I hadn’t meant it the way that he had and suddenly a wave of anxiety plagued me as we got up from the couch.

 

Louis grabbed his bags from the front entrance as I made sure the front door was locked. I shut off all the lights as we made our way down the hallway and turned on my bedroom light once we reached my room. Immediately, I began digging in my overnight bag that I had brought with to Tyler’s for the pajamas that I had packed. Louis set his bags on the bed and began digging in his soccer bag, pulling out a pair of basketball shorts and his toothbrush.

 

“I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” He told me.

“O-okay.” I nodded.

 

I watched him leave the room and I immediately began stripping myself of my clothing to replace them with my pajamas. Once that was taken care of, I also retrieved my toothbrush and walked down to the bathroom where I found Louis already changed into his shorts and already brushing his teeth. He smiled at me through the mirror as I made my way in.

 

We brushed our teeth in silence and placed our toothbrushes side by side in the holder. It warmed me to see his toothbrush next to mine. It was a small thing, but I absolutely loved it.

 

“Come on.” Louis said reaching out for my hand. I placed mine in his and let him lead me back to my bedroom.

 

We moved our bags from the bed and crawled in, underneath the covers before turning out the light.

 

“Thanks for letting me stay over with you.” Louis told me through the dim light of the moon that shone through my bedroom window.

“Thank you for actually wanting to.” I told him.

“Of course I would want to.” He said and I smiled.

 

I felt his hand slid across my stomach before his lips found mine. I loved kissing Louis, I truly did. I had no experiences to compare it to, but I was certain that no one would ever be as good of a kisser as Louis Tomlinson. No one would ever be able to make me feel this way.

 

“Lux…” Louis breathed out.

“Hmm.” I answered, licking my lips.

“If you wanted to… I mean, we don’t have to… but if you wanted to again… we could.” He said, quite obviously referring to sex.

 

I swallowed hard as my heart started to pound furiously in my chest, my nerves getting the best of me. But all that put aside, I did want to. I nodded to show him that I was on board.

 

“Was that… uh, do you want to?” He asked awkwardly.

“I do.” I told him, before I really even had a chance to over-think it too much. 

“I uh… I brought condoms just in case.” Louis said getting up to retrieve a condom from his soccer bag.

“Tyler gave me some too.” I confessed.

“He did?” Louis asked sounding genuinely surprised.

“Yeah. He was just looking out.” I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

 

Louis nodded, but looked uneasy about it. Maybe he didn’t like that I had divulged our sexual relationship with someone else. Suddenly, I felt extremely bad that I had. It was a private thing.

 

“I’m sorry.” I told him as he crawled back in bed.

“For what?” He asked.

“For telling Tyler.” I told him.

“It’s okay.” He said softly.

“I just… I was kind of freaking out… and I didn’t know what to do…” I told him.

“It’s okay. It’s a big thing… what we did. If I had someone to talk to about it, I probably would have too.” Louis said.

“You… you didn’t tell anyone?” I asked. Louis shook his head.

“I don’t really have that many close friends. And telling my parents or my sisters would be out of the question.” Louis shrugged.

“Yeah.” I said quietly.

“Are you okay with this?” He asked.

“This?” I asked.

“Doing it again?” He asked.

“Y-yeah. Of course.” I said.

“You sure?” He asked.

“Yes, Louis. I’m sure.” I told him, making sure that he knew it.

 

He smiled and met his lips to mine, coaxing me down onto the bed.

 

I was ready.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	13. xChapter 13x

Trigonometry was a hard subject and studying for a major trigonometry test was hard. But when the boy you wanted to spend all your time kissing was currently leaving feather light kisses on your bare shoulders and softly tickling his fingertips up and down your legs to slowly torture you, it got even harder. Especially when memories of the previous night were flooding my brain.

 

_Louis suspended above me. His ragged breathing. His slow torturous rhythm._

 

I had to shake my head just to get the images to vacate my subconscious mind. But seriously, with the way his kisses left goose bumps patterned across my skin, it was sweet sweet torture.

 

“Louis…” I breathed out as his mouth kissed up to my ear lobe.

“Lux…” He whispered in my ear.

 

He lay in my bed wearing only his basketball shorts from the night before. I wasn’t even sure he had put his underwear on underneath them. So he was just lying there in one article of clothing, driving me insane in the best way possible. And I was lying on my stomach wearing only a small pair of shorts and a tank top. It was quite intimate, but what Louis and I were doing with each other was quite intimate, so I figured it was fitting.

 

“You know, Louis…” I began.

“Hmm.” He breathed against the nape of my neck.

“As your tutor, I don’t think I can condone this type of behavior.” I giggled as he kissed his way up the sensitive skin between my shoulder blade and my ear lobe.

“What about as my girlfriend?” He breathed in my ear.

 

My heart stopped. I think it _literally_ stopped with his words. My body stiffened and I think I died for at least a split second. Louis noticed and pulled back looking into my eyes.

  
“You okay?” He smirked.

“Y-your girlfriend?” I choked out.

“Uh…” He stammered, looking at me with wide eyes.

 

I was in shock. And my shock was making the moment exceptionally awkward. But I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t think we had a title. We had never talked about it.

 

“Do you not want to be my girlfriend?” He asked as his voice cracked a little.

“Oh…” I said my eyes went wide.

“Lux?” Louis asked trying to coax an answer out of me.

“I just… I didn’t know where we stood. I-I… I mean, you never asked me.” I stuttered out.

 

A smile grew across his face, before he let out a small chuckle.

 

“What?” I asked, giving him a look of confusion.

“Lux. Miss Carver…” He said as a smile turned up his lips. I eyed him skeptically. I was so confused.

“Would you be my girlfriend? To have and to hold… dearly beloved… and all that stuff.” He chuckled.

“I think that’s like, marriage vows.” I smirked.

“Til death do us part… for richer or poorer… as long as we both shall live…” Louis went on.

“Well, I don’t know about that...” I said sarcastically.

“Hey!” Louis shoved me and I giggled.

“Yes.” I nodded, my smile growing more timid as I looked at him.

“Yes, what?” He asked, getting serious.

“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend, Louis. _Mister Tomlinson_.” I smiled at him. Another smile took over his facial features and I couldn’t help but find him exceptionally beautiful in that moment.

“Seal it with a righteous kiss…” He said moving toward me.

“Quoting _Romeo & Juliet_ now? Impressive.” I smirked as our lips hovered over one another’s.

“I’m an impressive guy.” He said, shrugging his shoulders.

“You can say that again.” I joked.

“I’m an impressive guy.” He chuckled.

“Dork.” I rolled my eyes.

“Come here.” He said wrapping his arms around me pulling me down on top of him.

 

I yelped and giggled, but finally, he got his _righteous kiss_.

 

His mouth was hot and sweet, but his kisses were not rushed. They were sensual and romantic as I felt his hands slip up the back of my tank top. I really liked it all. I really liked kissing this boy – a boy that I could finally call my boyfriend. Everything was absolutely perfect.

 

Except for the trigonometry test that was looming over our heads.

 

“As much as I would love to lay here and kiss you all day…” I said pulling up from him.

“Please, please, just kiss me all day.” Louis said playful, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I giggled at his antics.

“Trigonometry is not forgiving. Trigonometry wants our full attention. It _needs_ our full attention.” I told him.        

“I don’t wanna.” He pouted.

“We’ve gotta.” I reminded him.

“But… but…” He continued his playful whining.

“We could go out to the kitchen table if that will help you concentrate better. I could get dressed…” I pointed out.

“No!” He chuckled, squeezing me tighter in his arms.

“You’ve got to study, Louis.” I reminded him.

“Ughhhh.” Louis groaned as he let his arms fall from my waist.

 

I rolled myself off of him, sitting up on the bed to grab my trigonometry book again.

 

“Stupid trig.” Louis grumbled under his breath as he sat up and grabbed his own trig book.

 

For the most part, Louis did pretty well at focusing long enough to get a good long study session in. He was doing really well and again, I felt a rush of pride every time he answered a question correctly.

 

 

 

“There’s not a lot in here to eat.” I said bending over looking in the fridge as Louis dug through the pantry, looking for something to eat.

“Maybe we should go grocery shopping.” Louis offered.

“ _Hmm_.” I said contemplating it as I stood up straight, closing the fridge.

“We’ve got macaroni & cheese, mashed potatoes, and rice-a-roni in here.” Louis said looking out over the pantry door at me.

“ _Yum_.” I said sarcastically.

“Totally.” He chuckled.

“Maybe we _should_ go to the grocery store.” I told him, shrugging my shoulders.

“Then we would have to get dressed.” Louis frowned.

“I suppose we would.” I said as my eyes trailed down Louis’ half naked frame.

 

I kind of enjoyed that it was the middle of the day and Louis and I had yet to get dressed. But there would be sacrifices that would have to be made in order to not have to eat prepackaged boxed food for dinner.

 

“Is it worth it?” He asked.

“I don’t want to eat any of this crap.” I scoffed.

“Okay, grocery store it is.” Louis said making the executive decision.

 

We both dressed in jeans and hoodies before we got into his car and drove to the grocery store – our first outing as boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

“Wait. So what do we want to make for dinner?” I asked as Louis pulled into the parking lot.

“Uh… something good.” Louis offered.

“Oh, thanks for that.” I said sarcastically.

“I don’t know. We had spaghetti last night. What do you feel like eating tonight?” Louis asked.

“Maybe we should just order a pizza.” I giggled.

“No. I just drove us all the way here. We’re getting something.” Louis laughed.

“Tacos!” I said as a light bulb went off in my brain.

“TACOS!” Louis said with just as much enthusiasm as me.

“Tacos it is.” I smirked getting out of the car.

“Good idea, Lux.” Louis said giving me props as we met up behind the car.

“Thank you, thank you.” I smiled as Louis grabbed my hand in his.

 

We began walking toward the building and it made me smile that we were being so public with our relationship. There weren’t many people out and about in the grocery store – just a bunch of elderly people and soccer mom’s, but the fact that they got to witness Louis holding my hand was so amazing to me.

 

“Okay, we need a cart.” Louis said pulling me toward the cart coral.

“We’re not getting too much stuff, are we?” I questioned, looking at him skeptically.

“Come on, Lux. You act like you’ve never eaten tacos before. There’s a lot that goes into preparing the perfect taco.” He said pulling a cart out, unfortunately dropping my hand to do so.

“Okay, like what?” I asked the taco master.

“Meat.” He offered.

“Okay, yeah. Meat.” I giggled.

“And seasoning. You can’t forget the seasoning. It’s like the main ingredient.” He pointed out.

“So meat and seasoning. And taco shells. I like hard tacos.” I told him.

“Me too!” He smiled widely at me.

“Meat, seasoning, and taco shells.” I said as if I was ticking them off an imaginary list.

“Lettuce and tomatoes.” He added.

“And cheese.” I threw in.

“Cheese. Yes, cheese.” He said once we reached the produce section of the store.

“And taco sauce of some kind.” I also add.

“See, now we’re getting somewhere.” He smirked.

“Wow. There _is_ a lot that goes into making tacos.” I said.

“The perfect tacos.” He corrected me.

“Maybe we should just swing by the Taco Bell drive-thru.” I giggled.

“Non-sense! I will teach you the art of taco making. And you will stand in awe of my skills. Your taste buds will be begging for more.” Louis boasted.

“Well, when you put it like that…” I smirked at him.

“Just wait and see.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

 

Once we had gathered everything we would need for making Louis’ perfect tacos, we headed off toward the junk food aisles.

 

“And ice cream for dessert.” Louis threw in.

“Ah, but what kind of ice cream? Let’s see if we’re truly compatible.” I eyed him.

“Alright. On three. One, two, three…” He said.

“Mint chocolate chip.” We both said in unison.

“No way!” I giggled.

“I do like mint chocolate chip, but I have to be honest, I saw some in your freezer one of the times that we were at your house. Your dad said it was your favorite.” Louis smirked.

“You!” I giggled, shoving him.

“Seriously, I like mint chocolate chip though.” He laughed.

“So, what’s your real favorite then?” I asked.

“Rocky road.” He said.

“That’s my second favorite!” I smiled.

“No way.” Louis chuckled.

“Totally. Did my dad tell you that?” I giggled.

“No. I promise.” Louis smiled.

“Well, we can get both.” I said pulling them both out of the freezer.

“We can do swaps and like, share.” Louis smiled.

“Good idea.” I told him.

 

Louis leaned over and kissed me right in the frozen food section of the store, and I loved every second of it.

 

“Come on. We should go before we buy anymore junk food.” I told him.

“Uh, but. We haven’t even got to the cookie aisle.” Louis whined.

“What kind of cookies do you want?” I giggled.

“Big fat chocolate chip cookies.” Louis said clapping his hands together excitedly.

“Alright. Let’s go find you some big fat chocolate chip cookies then.” I smiled at him as I pushed the cart toward the end of the aisle.

 

In the end, Louis made some truly awesome tacos for dinner. I was so full by the time that we were done eating that I didn’t know if I had left any room in this lifetime or the next for our ice cream and big fat chocolate chip cookies.

 

“Oh my god. I can’t even move, I’m so full.” I said letting myself go limp in the chair at the dinner table.

“I can’t even finish this last bite.” Louis said as he threw down the rest of his taco on his plate.

“That was so good. I’m about to slip into a food coma and never come out of it.” I told him.

“I’m right there with you.” He laughed.

“I don’t want this weekend to end.” I said looking over at Louis with a frown.

“Me neither.” He said looking back at me.

“I feel happy.” I told him, letting out a pleased sigh.

“I can’t remember the last time that I’ve felt this happy.” Louis told me.

 

I smiled over at him and he returned the smile with one of his own that made my stomach tie in knots.

 

“Should we watch another movie? I think we deserve a little leisure time since we studied all day.” Louis smirked.

“I’d like that. Let’s leave the dishes for later.” I told him.

“Okay.” He smiled.

 

For a long moment, neither of us moved a muscle after Louis’ suggestion and it was quite humorous to me.

 

“I seriously can’t move.” I giggled.

“Come on. I’ll help you.” Louis said getting up and taking my hand in his.

 

He helped hoist me up off of my chair and the two of us finally made our way to the living room.

 

“What movie tonight?” Louis asked grabbing the remote to turn on the TV.

“Something entertaining.” I told him.

“Or something completely unentertaining, which would force us to have to entertain ourselves.” He said looking over at me, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

I couldn’t help but smile and blush from my spot on the couch.

 

“Alright, let’s see…” Louis said, focusing his attention back on the TV as he paged through the guide menu.

 

I watched everything he did, every muscle he moved. He was such a good looking boy. It was crazy to think that he liked me – that he was here with me.

 

“We’ve got… _Elizabethtown_ , uh… _A Knight’s Tale_ , _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ …” Louis started listing off the movies that came up.

“Ooh.” I said. I loved Harry Potter.

“ _Mr. and Mrs. Smith_ , _Fear_ , _the Goonies_. Oh my god, I love _the Goonies_!” Louis said stopping to look over at me. I giggled at his reaction.

“Do you love _the Goonies_ , or what?” He asked looking rather animated and it made me giggle.

“ _The Goonies_ is good.” I smiled at him.

“Do you want to watch _the Goonies_?” He asked.

“I’d love to.” I told him with a tiny chuckle.

“Sweet!” He said as he clicked the button, turning the channel to _the Goonies_.

 

It was quite amusing how entirely enthralled Louis was with the movie. He wasn’t lying when he said that he loved _the Goonies_. He was even quoting parts from it. It was really adorable.

 

“The truffle shuffle!” Louis giggled as the character, Chunk did it on screen. I giggled at Louis’ amusement.

“I love this movie. I can’t even tell you how many times I watched this as a kid.” He said looking over at me with an engrossing smile.

“I was that way with the _Wizard of Oz_. I always wanted to go to munchkin land.” I smiled at him.

“That’s cute.” He said wrapping his arms around me, planting a kiss on my cheek.

“Maybe we can watch the _Wizard of Oz_ tomorrow then.” He offered, smiling at me sweetly.

“Maybe.” I said.

 

Unfortunately, our little weekend would be coming to an end tomorrow. Dad would be home in the evening and Louis would be back at his house. I shook it out of my head because I didn’t want to think about it. I only wanted to think about Louis sitting with me in my living room watching his favorite movie in the entire world. I only wanted to think of him, and us, and the present because it was perfect. Louis Tomlinson was my boyfriend.

 

During the end of the movie, when the character, Brand kisses Andie in the water, I felt Louis’ arm tighten slightly around me and it made me smile. I wanted to kiss Louis just as badly.

 

And I giggled as the movie ended and Louis cheered like a little child. I loved seeing him like that. He was amazing.

 

And as the two of us walked hand in hand out of the living room to head to bed together, I couldn’t control the butterflies in my stomach because I wanted so badly for the two of us to be intimate with each other like we had the night before. The excitement was completely consuming me.

 

“Uh, I think your phone is ringing.” Louis said as the two of us began to brush our teeth in the bathroom.

“Shit. It might be my dad.” I said spitting out the toothpaste before running toward my room.

 

Luckily it wasn’t. It was just Tyler and it gave me so much relief. I missed my dad, but I hated lying to him.

 

“Hi, Ty. You nearly gave me a heart attack thinking it was my dad.” I answered the phone.

“Oh. Ha.” Tyler chuckled.

“Thank God it’s you.” I said.

“Oh, it’s me alright. And I want the deets. How’s it going with Hottie Tomlinson?” Tyler asked.

“Uh, good.” I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up.

“Is it just like, sex 24/7 there or what?” Tyler asked.

“Or what.” I said flatly.

“Shut up! You two are totally doing the horizontal mambo like animals, aren’t you?” Tyler laughed.

“No, we’re not.” I giggled as I looked up from my bed to see Louis standing in my bedroom doorway.

“’Oh Louis!’ ‘Oh Lux!’” Tyler moaned through the receiver.

“Shut up! Oh my god.” I told my best friend.

 

Louis smirked from the doorway and I was silently hoping that he wasn’t able to hear what Tyler was saying.

 

“I’m gonna hang up on you!” I told Tyler as he continued teasing by making kissing noises at me.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.” Tyler laughed.

“Thank you.” I sighed.

“I just wanted to check up on you since you’re supposed to be staying with me and all.” Tyler said seriously.

“Louis is taking good care of me.” I told Tyler as I looked up at Louis.

 

Louis wiggled his eyebrows at me as he made his way into the room from the doorway and sat down next to me on the bed.

 

“Oh, I bet he is!” Tyler giggled.

“Okay, Ty. I’m gonna get going. I think we’re gonna get ready for bed now.” I told him.

“BOWCHICAWOWOW!” Tyler bellowed into the phone.

“Oh my god.” I said throwing my hand over my face.

“Goodnight, Tyler!” I told him sternly.

“Night, Lux! Make sure to use the present I got you!” He said as I was pressing end on the phone, and my cheeks flushed again at the thought of the huge box of condoms that was sitting in my underwear drawer.

“Oh my god.” I breathed out shaking my head.

“You know, it’s really cool that you have a friend like Tyler that you’re so close to.” Louis smiled at me.

“Yeah. He’s been my best friend pretty much all my life.” I told Louis.

“That’s awesome. I wish I had that – someone to tell all my secrets to.” Louis said with a smirk.

 

We paused for a moment, just staring at each other.

 

“I-I can be that for you.” I told him sincerely.

“Yeah?” He smiled at me.

“Yeah.” I nodded my head as I smiled timidly back at him.

“I’d like that.” He said right before he leaned in and kissed my lips.

 

_Oh my god, swoon._ This boy. He was perfect, I swear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Also follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	14. xChapter 14x

“We should probably get ready for bed.” I told Louis as we lay in each other’s arms, kissing on my bed.

“Eh, I’d rather be doing this.” He said leaning down to leave another kiss on my lips.

 

His hand was softly rubbing the skin of my stomach as his other hand gently moved the hair out of my eyes.

 

“Mmm…” I smiled, feeling almost entranced, dream-like.

“I don’t want this weekend to end.” Louis said quietly.

“I dread it.” I admitted, looking at him through my half-lidded eyes.

“This weekend was amazing, Lux.” Louis told me.

“It’s not over yet.” I reminded him.

“You’re right. It’s not.” He smiled before he leaned in for another kiss.

 

His kisses got deeper and more demanding and I knew which path he was leading me on.

 

“Louis…” I breathed out, halting our kisses.

“Hmm.” He answered looking down into my eyes.

“Maybe tonight… maybe we could… do _other_ things.” I stammered out awkwardly.

“Other things?” He asked, as his brows furrowed in confusion.

“You know, like other things, leading up to sex.” I shrugged, trying not to make a big deal about mentioning the oral side of a sexual relationship.

“Oh. _Ohhhhh_.” He said catching on.

“Yeah.” I smiled bashfully as I bit my lip.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Well, I-I haven’t done everything you’ve done… and… and I really like _exploring_ with you.” I said timidly. I watched as a smile came over his face.

“You really are the most adorable person in the world.” He chuckled, leaning in to peck my lips.

“Why?” I asked as a shy smile made its way onto my face.

“You just… you’re just so sweet and adorable talking about ‘exploring’ and oral sex.” Louis smiled down at me.

 

My cheeks burned red hot at his outright mentioning of oral sex. I felt like I was the most awkward person on the planet and I hated it.

 

“I just… I…” I stammered, averting my gaze.

“Lux, don’t feel bad that you’ve never done things. Frankly, it only makes me love you more.” Louis smiled at me.

 

My eyes met his again. We hadn’t used the word love since the night that we lost our virginities. There were times that I had myself convinced that he hadn’t meant it or that he just said it in the heat of the moment just because I had said it. To hear it again out of his mouth meant so much.

 

In a bout of over-confidence, I leaned up kissing him hard on the mouth.

 

“Mmm.” He moaned into the kiss, only fueling my desire for him.

 

I was determined to set my fears aside and bring our relationship to a whole new level.

 

“Lux, I just want you to relax. I just want you to let your body completely relax and just let me make you feel good.” Louis told me, his words coming out deep and seductive. I didn’t know if he had been going for that, but it was really working.

 

I was a bit surprised at his instructions, only because when I had brought up the _exploring_ , I had only meant me exploring him. I hadn’t even fathomed letting him explore me. I took a few ragged breaths in before I let a long, winded breath out – hoping to rid myself of at least a little of my fear and anxiety.

 

Louis pulled himself up on his knees next to me and slowly began pulling up my t-shirt, and I let him, sitting up just enough to allow him to take it off.

 

“Just relax.” He cooed against my lips.

 

The hitching of my breathing startled me as Louis began the process of taking off my pants. I lifted my hips for him as he pulled them down my legs and then came back up for my underwear.

 

“You okay?” He asked.

“I-I’m good.” I nodded at him.

“Good.” He smiled at me as he slowly pulled off my underwear.

 

I leaned up, quickly undoing my bra clasp to make myself completely naked, just for Louis – only for Louis. His smile was worth it all as he looked at me, his fingers tickling the flesh of my abdomen.

 

“Lie back.” Louis coaxed and I obliged.

 

His hands appreciated me as they rubbed over my flesh and I was slowly able to allow myself to relax. I watched as his ocean eyes began to glaze over with lust and I knew that he too was enjoying this as much as I was.

 

“Take off your shirt.” I suggested, wanting him to be as naked or close to as naked as I was.

 

He smiled, taking his hands off me for only as much time as removing his shirt would allow him before they were back on me.

 

“Lux…” He sighed out as he slid down next to me with half of his body pressed against mine.

 

His lips captured mine as his idle still explored my flesh. His hand moved across my hip and then down, underneath my bottom before he pulled up my thigh slightly, running his hand along the bottom of it and then down again.

 

My mind was working a mile a minute, trying to anticipate his next move. But I never could. Only he knew what he had planned for me.

 

His fingertips caressed the top of my thigh as he slowly coaxed it back down. As his hand got closer and closer to my womanhood, my body involuntarily tensed up.

 

“Just relax, Lux. Just breathe.” He whispered in my ear.

 

My heart was beating straight out of my chest as I tried to regulate my breathing. This was all new territory to me and I wanted to be able to just enjoy it, but it all made me so incredibly nervous and anxious.

 

“You’re beautiful.” Louis cooed second before leaving a feather-light kiss on the nape of my neck.

 

His words of encouragement did wonders in the relaxation process. I kept reminding myself that this was the boy that constantly gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach just by being in my presence. This was the boy that I wanted to spend all my waking hours with. This was the boy that looked at me like I was the only girl in the world. This was the boy that loved me. And with that, I knew that all my fears and anxiety were pointless. This was _the_ boy.

 

“Kiss me.” I told him.

 

He did just that as his thumb caressed a circular pattern on my inner thigh, aiding in the dissolve of my inhibitions. And when his hand moved to cup my womanhood, I didn’t flinch and I didn’t tense. I just kept kissing him – lost in the moment. He coaxed my legs open just a little wider as his fingers explored sending pleasing sensations throughout my body. He rubbed me in soft slow circles, causing my breathing to heighten almost immediately. My mouth drop open slightly as Louis consumed me with his touch. I was so concentrated on what he was doing to me that completely abandoning kissing him all together. And in response, he bit at my bottom lip, adding a bit of pain with the pleasure, making me almost certain that this boy had some sort of gift when it came to being with a girl. He always knew what to do and when to do it to make the moment just right.

 

His mouth moved down to kiss across my collarbone as his fingers moved in delicate circles while my body writhed with pleasure below him.

 

“Oh my god.” I moaned, as my breathing came out in tiny gasps. I was certain that I was done for. He was taking me over the edge and I was willing to jump.

 

But when his mouth wrapped around my nipple and his hand dipped lower to plunge his fingers inside me, I knew that he had me right where he wanted me. My breathing hitched and I almost couldn’t believe what was happening. But I was enjoying it fully and I couldn’t think of any reason to make him stop. I didn’t want him to.

 

Louis’ mouth moved slowly down my body, leaving a trail of kisses in its wake. And I was certain I knew what he was about to do and somewhere from deep within me there was an excitement ready to reverberating out of me.

 

When his mouth met the flesh that his hand and fingers had just explored, the excitement came out in the form of a deep guttural moan. It was a feeling that I had never felt before and I loved it. I loved that Louis was making me feel this way. I loved that he was here with me – that he was my first for _everything_.

 

“Oh, Louis. _Oh my god_.” I groaned as my body shook with sparse tremors.

 

It was almost too much to take. My body couldn’t handle it – tensing when it should be relaxing.

 

“Oh god. _Stop_.” I moaned, grabbing onto him.

 

He lifted his head up to look at me, his expression questioning.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“It’s too much.” I breathed out.

“Is it bad?” He asked.

“It’s too good.” I corrected him.

“But you want me to stop?” He questioned, looking at me confused. But I couldn’t even explain myself because I didn’t understand it either.

“I can’t even handle it.” I told him.

“Uh, alright.” He chuckled, pulling himself up to sit next to me.

“It was so good.” I told him as I sat up as well.

“But you don’t want me to finish?” He asked furrowing his brow.

“I don’t think I can handle it.” I told him.

“You are confusing.” He laughed.

“I know. I’m sorry.” I told him, feeling like an idiot.

“It’s okay, babe.” He said, leaning in to kiss me.

“I want to… to _um_ … with you too.” I said, completely inept, to the point where I couldn’t even say the sexual words out loud. 

“Alright.” He smiled at me.

“I’m nervous.” I admitted to him, feeling bashful and stupid and sick to my stomach all at the same time.

“Don’t be.” He told me.

“I can’t help it.” I said, running my fingers through my hair, trying to focus on anything besides what I was about to do with him. I mean, I wanted to whole-heartedly, but I just couldn’t shake the shyness that I had been plagued with since birth.

“Lux, you don’t have to do anything.” He told me.

“But I want to.” I told him sincerely.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“That’s why I brought this up. I _want_ to.” I told him.

“Okay. But we don’t have to rush. We can go slow.” He offered, and I truly appreciated every word he said to me.

“Just uh… lay down.” I suggested, trying to bury my shyness once and for all.

 

He smiled at me as he laid down, and without hesitation, I laid myself down in his arms trying to calm my nerves. His mouth met mine, and I let his kisses relax my nerves once again. He had a power over me and I loved it.

 

“Tell me if I’m doing something wrong. I want this to be good.” I told him as my fingers slid across his bare abdomen.

“Okay.” He nodded.

 

I slowly removed his pants before I slid down his boxer shorts. I kept my eyes averted from his because I already felt like I was doing everything wrong and I didn’t want to read it all over his face. My stomach lurched as I was met face to face with _all_ of him.

 

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before I reached out to grab him. My hand hesitated slightly before it wrapped fully around him, the fear was real inside of me. I didn’t want to be bad. I wanted to be good for him – or at least mediocre. Slowly I began pumping him softly, building up a steady rhythm, and I felt his body reacting almost immediately. His stomach muscles jumped and his hips writhed, and somehow, it felt liberating. I was doing that to him.

 

“That’s good.” He breathed out as he closed his eyes.

 

I loved watching him. He looked like a perfect angel as he lay there, his long eyelashes resting against his little cerub cheeks. He was so beautiful. And I was pleasuring him, and I was enjoying myself, and I never wanted to stop making his body shake. My breathing hitched again when the overwhelming feelings of love and lust for Louis consumed me. I wanted him more every second that I was with him. My heart grew more and more for him with every passing moment. I loved him dearly.

 

I watched as Louis’ body began lightly shaking as I kept up with my rhythm, and I just knew that it was the right time to begin my oral portion of the evening. Taking a deep breath, I decided to take the plunge – quite literally.

 

I let my mouth wrap around him, remembering what Tyler had told me about _never_ using teeth. Louis let out a deep throaty moan as I began a slow bob on top of him with my mouth.

 

“ _Oh my god_ , Lux.” He gasped.

 

I couldn’t believe how easily it all came to me. I felt like a sexual professional or something with the way that I made him shake and moan. It was gratifying. Just as I was truly getting the hang of it, I felt Louis’ fingers in my hair.

 

“Lux… _uh_ … I’m about to…” He said, giving me a little friendly warning. I pulled up, looking into his eyes.

“Just… just go ahead.” I told him, feeling empowered.

“Are you… are you sure?” He asked.

“Mm-hmm.” I said as I dipped back down to finish the job.

 

It wasn’t as bad as I imagined it to be – taking him all in. He was salty and sweet at the same time. And it made me feel scandalous and so grown-up. I couldn’t even explain it.

 

“Oh my god, Lux. _Jesus_.” Louis swallowed hard, running his hands through his hair.

“Was I okay?” I asked, hoping for a little feedback.

“You were… _amazing_.” He said pulling me up to his body, wrapping me in his arms.

“That good?” I smiled against his chest.

“Ohmygod, just… you’re the best, Lux.” Louis said, leaving a kiss on my forehead.

“Thank you.” I said quietly as I pulled the blanket up and over us as I cuddled myself to his body.

 

He made me feel so good without even trying.

 

 

I woke up to the beautiful naked boy sleeping in my bed. It was early, but I think my unconscious mind was well aware that my father was coming home later that night and felt the need to wake me up worrying about it.

 

Quietly, I slipped out of my bedroom and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. After dressing and getting ready for the day, I made my way to the kitchen, remembering that we never cleaned up after dinner the previous night. I needed to make sure that the house was as tidy as it was when my father and I left it on Friday evening – since I was ‘ _staying at Tyler’s_ _house_ ’ for the weekend.

 

I washed the dishes by hand trying to keep my mind occupied with something other than Louis. I tried not to think about how he was sleeping in my bed, or about all the things we had done in said bed during our weekend together. But he was always there in the forefront of my mind.

 

A few months ago, I would have never dreamt of something like this happening to me. I would have never thought that I would ever be in a relationship with the captain of the soccer team – not that things like that mattered to me. I was just never the type of girl to get the attention of the popular boys – or any boys for that matter. I was just a wallflower. But Louis plucked me right up, making me one sincerely happy girl.

 

Happy had never been a describing word for me until Louis got his hands on me. He was truly a blessing in my life and I knew I owed him big for the smile that was displayed on my face from day to day.

 

“Hey you.” I heard Louis’ raspy morning voice from the doorway of the kitchen.

 

I turned around to see him standing there in his boxers, running his hand through his ruffled hair. I smiled at the sight of him. He was truly precious.

 

“Hey.” I said turning back to the dish that I was washing in my hand.

“I was going to help you with that.” He pointed out, walking over to me.

“It’s okay. I woke up early.” I told him with a shrug of my shoulders.

“At least let me dry.” He said picking up the towel from the countertop.

“If you want.” I smiled.

 

We fell into a happy rhythm, finishing the dishes faster than I would have had it only been me.

 

As Louis showered and got ready once we were done with our chore, I sat on the couch reading my book for English – _Pride and Prejudice_ by Jane Austen. I wasn’t quite sure what drew me to this book when picking one to read for class, but I was kind of glad that I did. Louis joined me when he was ready with his own book – _Grapes of Wrath_ by John Steinbeck. And we fell into a comfortable silence with one another on the couch.

  
We read for quite a while – long enough for Louis to lay his head across my lap, propping his feet up on the arm of the couch. It was intimate and perfect, and it made me really feel the girlfriend/boyfriend bond that was developing between us.

 

“Mmm… that feels good. You’re giving me goose bumps.” Louis breathed out. I realized that I had been idly running my fingers through his hair as I read my book, and it made me smile.

 

Louis abandoned his book altogether to close his eyes and enjoy my attention. I leaned down kissing his lips before continuing in my book.

 

“Break time, don’t you think?” Louis interrupted with a mischievous smirk on his face. I chuckled lightly, giving him an odd look.

“Lay with me.” He offered, patting the open spot on the cushion next to him.

“Lay with you?” I asked quirking my eyebrow.

“Yes, please.” He smiled up at me. I bit my lip in quiet contemplation as he looked up at me with his puppy dog eyes.

“Alright.” I smiled, and the two of us got comfortable with one another horizontally on the couch.

 

Of course there was kissing involved, and a lot of it. I never wanted these feelings to leave me.

 

“Why must school get in the way of all the kissing we could be doing?” Louis asked as his hands inched up the t-shirt I was wearing.

“I don’t know, but it kind of sucks.” I told him with a little giggle.

“It totally does.” He chuckled before he kissed me again.

 

His hands were pushing my shirt up, and I knew what he wanted, so I ended up just pulling my shirt off to appease both of us. I pressed back against him, kissing his lips. I felt his fingers fumble against the clasp of my bra, but when my hips rolled against him, he let out a groan and gripped onto my waist.

 

“Ohmygod, Lux.” He said breathlessly.

 

I did it again just to tease him and earned another deep groan. It was like music to my ears, I swear.

  

“Lux! _Jesus_ —what the hell!?” I heard a voice bellow from across the room, and it scared me nearly half to death – especially when I realized that it was my father.

“Oh my god!” I gasped, pulling myself up, away from Louis, holding my hands against my bra-clad chest to cover myself up..

“Daddy! Oh my god. _Oh my god!”_ I screeched out, fumbling for my shirt that had been thrown up on the back of the couch.

“Lux! What are you _doing_ _!?_ What are you doing home!? _Louis!?_ _”_ Dad asked quickly as his vision met the guilty looking boy whose lap I still sat atop.

“Ohmygod.” I choked out as I got off of him quickly, standing on my feet.

 

Louis sat up immediately, looking terrified as I replaced my shirt back on my body.

 

“What are you two doing!?” Dad asked, still thoroughly confused by what he saw.

“Oh my god.” I said under my breath as I held my hand over my embarrassed face.

“I went to Tyler’s to pick you up and you weren’t there. Tyler said you came home to wait for me. I-I would have never fathomed that I would come home to _this_.” Dad said, pointing idly to the couch.

“Daddy…” I said awkwardly, displacing my weight from one foot to the other as Louis sat silently on the couch, staring at the wall.

“How long has this been going on?” Dad pressed.

“Just… not that long.” I stammered.

“How long is _‘not that long’?_ I come home to find my _only_ daughter topless on the boy she said she would never date.” Dad said, really staring me down, stressing me out completely.

 

Louis’ eyes shot up to catch mine and I looked at him sympathetically. I _had_ said that I would never date him, but things changed.

 

“Answer. Now.” Dad interjected into mine and Louis’ wordless conversation.

“Uh… a few weeks.” I told him finally.

“Weeks!? I asked you about this, Lux. Weeks!?” His voice rising, more so out of disbelief than anything.

“I know.” I said quietly, hanging my head.

“You lied to me about it, then?” He pressed, and I knew that I shouldn’t admit it, but I nodded my head anyway. Dad shook his head and I knew that he was disappointed in me.

“Louis, why don’t you head on home.” Dad said, turning his attention to him.

“Okay.” Louis said quietly, pulling himself up from the couch.

 

Louis hesitated before kissing me quickly on the cheek. I gripped onto his hand, not wanting him to leave. But I saw the look in his eyes and I knew that it might be better if I cooled my father down a little bit – make him understand.

 

“I’ll walk you out.” I told Louis.

“Lux, we need to talk.” Dad said as I passed by him.

“I’ll be back.” I told him.

 

I stepped out onto the porch with Louis as I shut the door. I swallowed hard and tried to get my mind straight enough to give him a proper goodbye.

 

“ _Shit_.” Louis said running his fingers through his hair. He looked tense and upset.

“It’s fine. It’s fine. This is what he wanted, Louis. I promise.” I said, trying to reassure us both.

“I hardly think finding his only daughter making out with me on his couch, shirtless might I add, to be what he wanted.” Louis said firmly.

“He’ll get over it.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, trying to comfort him.

“Lux, I don’t want him to hate me.” Louis said looking at me with sad eyes.

“Why would he hate you?” I choked out.

“We… we had sex… we lied to him about this weekend… we lied to him about us. He’s going to think I pressured you to do all of those things.” Louis stressed, running his fingers through his hair again.

“No. No, Louis. I’ll tell him it was my idea. This is ridiculous. This is what he wanted – for you and me to get together. He… it’ll be fine, Louis. I promise.” I told him, trying to wave it all off.

“Are you sure?” Louis asked, not sounding very convinced.

“Yeah. We’ll talk and get the air cleared. He’s not going to hate you, Louis. I won’t let him.” I assured him.

“Okay.” Louis said, taking a deep breath.

“It’ll be okay.” I promised, leaning up to kiss his lips quickly.

“Uh, just bring my stuff to school with you tomorrow?” Louis asked.

“Yeah. I will.” I told him.

“Give me a call after you talk to your dad.” Louis said.

“Okay.” I nodded.

 

Louis leaned down and kissed me, then pulled out of my arms only to leave me standing alone on my front porch. I didn’t go back inside until I saw Louis’ tail lights fading into the distance. I dreaded the conversation that I was about to have with my father.

 

I found him waiting at the kitchen table for me.

 

“What is going on, Lux?” Dad asked calmly.

“Louis is my boyfriend, Daddy.” I said with a small smile, trying to keep the mood light.

“I would hope so after what I witnessed.” He scoffed, shaking his head, his reaction wiping the smile right off my face.

“Daddy…” I sighed averting my gaze from his.

“Lux…” He said, as an even more weighted sigh came out of his mouth – disappointment apparent in every move he made.

 

He was making me angry. Wasn’t this what he wanted? For Louis and I to be together? He had pushed for this, hadn’t he?

 

“You wanted this! You wanted me to get together with Louis, dad. Why all of a sudden is it such a shock that we are?” I asked, raising my voice slightly.

“Coming home to find my seventeen year old daughter topless, dry humping a boy is _NOT_ what I wanted!” Dad said raising his own voice.

 

I hung my head, letting his words sink in. I understood what he mean, and how traumatizing it must have been for him. But he had to know that I was bound to grow up.

 

“Lux, what are you doing? That’s not how I raised you.” He said quietly, laying the guilt on thick.

“Dad! I’m _seventeen_.” I said seeing seventeen as an age of maturity, whereas he still saw it as an age of adolescence.

“You’re too young to be doing stuff like that!” He snapped.

“Says who?” I pressed, feeling almost offended.

“Says me!” He howled, and I couldn’t help but scoff at him.

“Are you… Lux… are you… have you…” He stammered, unable to find the words he wanted to say.

 

My eyes widened at the realization of what he was about to ask me. _Oh god_.

 

“Are you having… sex with him?” Dad asked, his cheeks pinking almost immediately. I swallowed hard, and I knew that the guilt was easily read all over my face by the way he looked at me.

“Oh, Luxy. Luxy, why?” He asked, looking almost sick to his stomach.

“Dad…” I sighed, looking at the wall rather than at him.

“You’re too young for that.” Dad groaned unpleasantly.

“How old were you?” I shot at him.

“Things were different back then, Lux.” Dad said, bringing on a double standard that I almost knew he would.

“How old?” I pressed him for the information.

“Sixteen. But that doesn’t make this right, Lux. You’re way too young! And it’s way too soon. How much time have you really spent with Louis?” Dad asked and I scoffed again.

“What?” He asked.

“I’m ridiculous when I say I’m never going to date him, and now I am completely wrong now that I _am_ dating him. I can’t win with you.” I said throwing up my hands.

“Lux.” He sighed.

“This isn’t fair, dad. I’m seventeen – almost eighteen. It’s time that I make my own decisions. And I thought the time was right. And it was, okay.” I confessed. Dad just stared at me, blank-faced and it angered me.

“Louis loves me, Dad. I love him.” I told him.

_“Love?”_ Dad choked out.

“He makes me happy.” I said matter-of-factly, because that’s all that should matter. Louis makes me happy.

“How can you love him when only a couple of weeks ago you hated him?” Dad asked, looking at me like I was the most ridiculous person in the world.

“I never hated him.” I said, shaking my head.

“Don’t you think you’re rushing into this, Lux?” Dad asked.

“I am going at exactly the right pace for me.” I told him.

 

Dad didn’t have much to say in way of a retort for that one. And I knew that my statement was exactly right. I had done everything at my own pace. I was never pressured into anything that I did with Louis. I wanted it all and I was a willing participant.

 

My father and I sat silently across from each other at the kitchen table for a little while. Dad looked uncomfortable, but that was to be expected, I guess. He had just found out his once virginal daughter was having sex.

  
“If you think that you’re ready, I guess… I guess that there’s nothing I can do to stop you.” Dad conceded. I let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding in.

“Thank you.” I said quietly.

“But I am taking you to get on birth control… or whatever. I am too young to be a grandfather. And you and Louis have too much promise to throw it all away because of one careless night.” Dad insisted.

“Okay.” I agreed.

“Just know that I am not happy about this.” He told me.

“It’s eating me alive inside.” I said dryly, and Dad chuckled.

“You know, Lux. I should probably scream a big _‘I told you so’_ in your face. But I guess I will refrain.” Dad smirked at me.

“For what?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in question.

“Louis.” He said simply. I couldn’t even hide my smile. Of course my father had been right about him.

“You told me so.” I nodded.

“I guess father’s do know best.” He smirked at me.

“Don’t rub it in.” I laughed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Also follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	15. xChapter 15x

“Hi.” I said as soon as Louis answered his phone.

“Hey, how did it go?” He asked immediately, asking about how the talk with my father went after he got, more or less, kicked out of my house after we got caught making out on the couch.

“Uh, better than expected.” I said, feeling slightly awkward.

“So your dad doesn’t hate me?” Louis asked, sounding incredibly insecure.

“I don’t think so.” I told him.

“You don’t think so?” He choked out.

“He doesn’t hate you, Louis.” I assured him.

“You’re sure?” He asked.

“I’m positive.” I told him.

“Good.” He sighed.

 

I knew his relationship with my dad was important to him. He looked up to my father, and for that I knew that Louis would always be in my heart, no matter where he and I ended up in the long run.

 

“Louis…” I breathed out, realizing that I would probably have to clue him in on the fact that my father knew that the two of us were sexually active.

“Yeah.” He replied.

“Uh… my dad… he kind of asked about… if we… you know…” I stammered, feeling more awkward than ever. I couldn’t seem to spit out the words, but Louis was smart and he caught on fast.

“Oh Lux, you _didn’t_ , did you?” Louis groaned.

“I couldn’t lie to him! I don’t have a good poker face.” I whined.

“Oh my god. So your dad not only caught us making out on the couch, but he also knows that we have sex?” Louis asked, laying it all out.

“Yeah.” I said quietly.

“ _Shit_.” Louis sighed.

“He doesn’t hate you, Louis.” I reminded him.

“What did he say?” Louis asked.

“Uh, he just asked if we were, and… and I couldn’t hide my reaction and he just… he knew. He was really disappointed in me. But in the end he pretty much said that he couldn’t stop me.” I explained.

“Oh my god.” Louis groaned.

“And he is taking me to get on birth control.” I threw in quickly.

“ _Oh my god_. When I see your dad next, I feel like I’m going to have to hide from him.” Louis said.

“No, Louis. I’d hate to see this come between the _bromance_ that you have with my father.” I giggled.

“Oh, you’re _so_ funny.” Louis chuckled.

“I think you love him more than me.” I snickered.

“Maybe I do.” Louis said in his sassy tone.

“Uh! LEWIS!” I scoffed at him.

“LUX!” I heard my father yell from down the hallway, and it snapped my attention away from Louis.

“Uh, my dad is calling for me. I should… I should probably go.” I told him.

“Alright. Call me later. Or I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school, or something.” Louis told me.

“Yeah, okay.” I agreed.

“Hey, Lux?” Louis cut in quickly.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“I love you… more than I love your dad.” He told me. A huge smile spread across my face, and my stomach did all sorts of somersaults.

“I love you too, Lou.” I breathed out.

 

I found my dad in the bathroom, looking at me unpleasantly through the mirror. His arms were folded across his chest and everything.

 

“What’s up, dad?” I asked, looking at him confused.

“Lux, do you have something that you want to tell me?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow at me.

“Uh…” I stammered. _Was this a trick question?_

“Anything?” He asked.

 

I shook my head as I looked at him awkwardly. I didn’t know what he was talking about. And I didn’t want to step into any traps by coming up with something that I _supposedly_ needed to tell him.

 

I watched as he grabbed for something on the vanity, and what he picked up made my eyes go wide, and my heart begin to pump too fast in my chest.

 

“Whose toothbrush is this, Lux?” Dad asked, knowing full well _whose_ toothbrush it was.

 

My blood ran cold. _Fuck, fuck, fucking shit_.

 

“Uh…” I stammered, unable to even think of a lie to come up with. I was never good at it.

“You didn’t stay at Tyler’s, did you?” Dad asked, and I could see the anger welling up inside of him.

“You and Louis stayed here, didn’t you Lux?” He asked sternly.

“Daddy…” I breathed out, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes.

“No, don’t ‘daddy’ me, Lux. This is… this is so unacceptable. I can’t believe you would do this. I can’t believe you would lie to me and betray my trust like that, Lux.” Dad said firmly, laying on the guilt-trip thick.

“Dad, I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“But you’re not. Are you, Lux? You’re just sorry you got caught. I can’t _believe_ you.” He said setting the toothbrush back on the counter.

“Dad…” I whimpered as tears began to trickle down my face.

 

I hated disappointing my father. And this seemed to be the biggest disappointment of them all.

 

“For the next month, you and Louis will not be hanging out – with an exception of tutoring; which will take place at _our_ kitchen table. You are not allowed to go to Louis’. You are not allowed to go to Tyler’s. You are not allowed out of this house, young lady. You will go to school. You will come home. You will do your homework. You will study. And you will go to bed.” Dad said laying down the law.

 

My heart squeezed tightly in my chest and I felt like I was slapped across the face with that punishment.

 

“Dad, that’s not fair!” I spouted.

“What’s not fair is being lied to by my own daughter. And finding out my daughter, who is underage might I add, had sleepovers with her boyfriend while I was out of town. This goes above and beyond wrong, Lux. _No_. Just no.” Dad said shaking his head.

“A month, dad!? A month!? You can’t be serious!” I cried.

“You say one more word, Lux, and I will raise it to two.” He challenged.

 

He really wasn’t backing down, and all of a sudden I knew exactly what other kids were talking about when they say their parents weren’t ever fair. Dad had never been like this before. But then again, I had never given him a reason to be.

 

I grit my teeth together before turning on my feet and stalking to my bedroom, slamming the door shut to prove to him that I was upset.

 

 

The next morning, I brought both of Louis’ bags to school with me. I left his overnight bag in my car while I lugged in his school bag with my own.

 

My mood was somber and I was still upset from the previous night. I wasn’t able to get ahold of Louis the previous night to let him know what had happened, and I didn’t have time to explain before first bell. I pretty much handed him his bag and sprinted to first period.

 

Louis and I didn’t get to talk again until we got to our English class.

 

“Hey, what’s going on? I haven’t seen you around.” Louis asked as he walked in, looking as if he had been looking for me.

 

I hadn’t really wanted to talk to anyone and Tyler was out sick for the day, so I was pretty much alone in the world anyway – why not go to class early?

 

“I… Louis… my dad knows.” I sighed.

“Knows what?” He asked, furrowing his brow in question.

“That you stayed the weekend.” I said quietly.

“Oh.” Louis said.

“He grounded me.” I told him.

“Oh.” He replied again.

“For a month. He said we can’t hang out unless I’m tutoring you. And it has to be at my house at the kitchen table. No exceptions.” I told him.

“ _Jeez_.” Louis said running his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry.” I said quietly.

“Why are you apologizing to me?” Louis asked confused.

“Because. I know my dad means a lot to you and I screwed it up.” I said sadly.

“You didn’t screw anything up, Lux.” Louis told me.

“I feel like I did.” I said quietly.

“How did he find out?” Louis asked.

“He found your toothbrush in the bathroom.” I said.

“Oh man.” Louis said, running his hands in his hair again.

“I hate this. I cried all night. I just… I hate fighting with my dad.” I sighed.

“I’m sorry, Lux.” Louis said rubbing his hand on my back.

 

Once the bell rang, our classmates started filtering into class, so Louis and I fell silent, waiting for class start.

 

In trig, we had our big exam that Louis and I should have spent last night studying for. Instead, Louis’ book bag was on my bedroom floor and I was crying in my bed all night. I just hoped, for Louis’ sake, that our studying on Saturday would be enough for him to get a passing grade.

 

After school, I waited by the locker room door to catch Louis before he went in for practice. I pretty much saw everyone that was on the team go in, but Louis. I wondered where he was – or if I had missed him already. But then he came around the corner.

 

“Lux…” He smiled when he saw me standing there.

“Hi.” I smiled back.

“I was looking for you everywhere. I wanted to see you before you left. I thought you were already gone.” He said.

“I have your bag.” I said pulling his overnight bag off of my shoulder.

“Oh yeah. Thanks.” He said grabbing it from me.

 

I stood there feeling awkward and sad. I didn’t want to leave him, but I knew he needed to get ready for practice.

 

“Come here.” He said grabbing my arm, pulling me to him.

 

He wrapped me up in her arms, holding me against him as I squeezed him back tightly.

 

“I’m gonna miss you.” I breathed out.

“You’ll see me tomorrow. And the next day and the next.” Louis chuckled.

“I know, but it’s not the same. I hate being forbidden from things – especially important things.” I said.

“I’m an important thing?” Louis smiled at me.

“Of course you are.” I told him.

 

He leaned down and kissed me – right in the school hallway. There wasn’t anyone around to witness it, but that didn’t matter to me. He was kissing me in a public area and I loved it. I had never had a boyfriend before, so it felt liberating for some reason. When he pulled away, I was left breathless and speechless.

 

“I’ve got to get in there, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay.” He said.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Bye, Lux.” He said giving me one last kiss before he made his way into the locker room.

 

 

I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to be stuck there against my will. And I didn’t want to see my dad. I had never felt like this ever in my life and it didn’t sit right with me. My house was always a safe haven for me and my dad was always my friend. Things were changing so much for me and I didn’t know how I felt about it. I didn’t feel like the same person I once was. Like life as I knew it was completely flipped upside down.

 

Instead of going home, I went to go visit my mom at her grave. Dad wouldn’t be home for two hours, so he wouldn’t know I wasn’t home.

 

I had memorized the path to my mother’s gravesite years ago. I could find it in the dark. I could find it with my eyes closed. I knew exactly where she was – where I could find her.

 

_Loving wife, loving mother_.

 

“Hi, mom.” I breathed as I sat down in front of her headstone. I sighed heavily as the weight of what happened last night washed over me once again.

“I messed up, Mom. I messed up, except I don’t regret it. I don’t.” I said shaking my head.

 

I liked to think that maybe she would be on my side with this one. She may have been disappointed, but I liked to think she would have talked dad down and I wouldn’t have been grounded for an entire month.

 

“Dad is really mad at me, Mom. And I know it was wrong for me to have Louis stay the weekend and lie to dad about it, but… but, I just really wanted to be with him. I love Louis, Mom. I really love him. He’s so wonderful. I just… I mean, was it so wrong for me to just want to spend time with him? We didn’t spend the whole time doing _bad_ stuff, I promise. And Dad… he overreacted. He still thinks I’m a little girl when I’m not. I’m almost eighteen—” I said suddenly cutting myself off.

 

I looked at my mother’s headstone. Her date of death – June 21st, 1989. My eighteen birthday marked the eighteenth year that she had been gone.

 

“I miss you, Mommy.” I croaked out as a sudden wave of tears hit me.

 

I didn’t even know if it was the right term to use. Could I miss someone that I never knew? But I didn’t know how else to explain it.

 

“Why did you have to leave me? Why couldn’t you be here? I need you. I need you to talk some sense into dad. I need you on my side. I know you felt for daddy this way – like the way I feel for Louis. I know it. I know you would have done anything to be with him. Why can’t you be here for me?” I cried.

 

I sat with my face in my hands for a while, just sobbing. I missed my mom. I needed her. But she wasn’t here. She never was. Life was unfair. Life was so incredibly unfair.

 

“I miss you. You would have liked me. I know you would have.” I said wiping at my tears.

 

I sat in front of her headstone for a long time, thinking about the life that she lost because of me; thinking about how much both my father and I missed her; thinking about the situation between my father and I; thinking about Louis. I wished my mother was there to lend me some advice. I wished she was just there.

 

Once my tears subsided, I picked myself up off the ground, deciding that I should probably get home just in case my father checked-in or something.

 

“I love you, mom.” I said to the granite stone that marked her grave – the only thing besides pictures that I had to eternalize my mother.

 

I drove home feeling defeated, wishing that the next month would fly by so I could feel free again. I made my way down to my room, flopping down onto my bed. I didn’t want to do my homework. I didn’t want to do anything.

 

My eyes found the picture on my nightstand – the only picture of my Mom, my Dad and me together, just minutes after I was born. Mom was still lying on the surgical table, I was still covered in goop and Dad had on a smile that could brighten the darkest day. Mom was looking at me with tears in her eyes and a proud smile on her face. I was her little girl – the baby she so desperately had wanted, the baby she gave her life to have.

 

It was the only picture that I had of me and my mother. It was the only one in existence.

 

Tears rolled down my cheek as I looked at her. She was so incredibly beautiful. I had gotten her brown hair and hazel eyes. Dad always said I looked just like her.

 

Maybe the reason dad was so adamant about Louis and I dating was because Louis reminded him so much of himself. Maybe dad wanted me to find the happiness he and my mother had.

 

Well, I had. I really think I had. And now dad was putting a huge damper on things.

 

My cell phone ring tone ripped through my thoughts, pulling me out of my head. My smile came automatically when I saw his name flash across it.

 

_Louis_.

 

“Hi.” I breathed into the receiver as I wiped away my tears.

“Hi.” He answered back.

“Are you done with practice?” I asked, confused. Usually he was never done this early.

“It started to rain and instead of making us wait it out in the weight room, coach just let us go home early.” Louis told me.

“Well, that was nice of him.” I smiled.

“I thought so.” He chuckled.

“So what are you doing?” I asked.

“Walking up your front steps.” He replied.

“You’re here?” I asked in an excited manner, jumping out of bed.

“I’m soaking wet, but I’m here.” He chuckled.

 

Without another word, I hung up my phone and raced out to answer the door. A large clap of thunder erupted just as I opened the door, startling me, causing me to scream out.

 

“You okay?” Louis laughed.

“I am now.” I said immediately wrapping my arms around him.

“Good.” He said, kissing the side of my face.

“Come on.” I said grabbing his hand and pulling him inside.

 

I closed and locked the door, leading Louis down the hallway, straight to my bedroom.

 

“If your dad catches us…” Louis started to protest.

“He won’t be home for at least another hour. And besides, I am already in trouble.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

“But do you want to get into more trouble?” Louis asked, breaking the kiss.

“Right now, I don’t care. You’re here, Louis. I miss being with you – like old times.” I said kissing him again.

 

I loved that I could say ‘like old times’; that our relationship kept growing and evolving to the point where we had memories to look back on.

 

“Like old times? Or like _new_ times?” Louis asked smirking at me.

“A little bit of both.” I smirked back, pulling his damp t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor.

 

Our lips connected again as Louis’ arms wrapped around my body. I walked us back toward the bed, and the two of us tumbled down onto it.

 

“What has gotten into you?” Louis chuckled, looking down at me.

“Life is short, Louis. You’ve got to make the most of it.” I told him.

“You’re right.” He smiled, kissing me again.

 

We kissed for a while, but Louis wasn’t advancing the way I wanted him to. He was content with just kissing, where I wanted to take things further. I didn’t know when we’d get to be like this again. Our future alone time looked bleak.

 

I broke the kiss, pulling myself up out of the bed.

 

“Wha…” Louis said looking up at me as I pulled my shirt over my head.

“Lux, I don’t think…” Louis started to protest.

“I’ve had a really bad day. I need you, Louis. I need this.” I told him as I undid my bra and let it fall forward.

“Are you sure? I mean, what if your dad comes home early?” Louis asked, looking toward my closed bedroom door.

“He won’t.” I told him confidently.

“He has before.” Louis reminded me.

“He won’t.” I said again, walking toward my chest of drawers, pulling out one of the condoms that Tyler had given me.

“Here.” I said tossing it to him.

“Lux…” He said catching it in his hands.

“Do you not want me, Louis?” I asked feeling a wave of insecurity come over me.

“No… I mean, of course I want you. Lux, that’s not it.” He said shaking his head.

“Please, Louis. Just love me.” I said feeling incredibly vulnerable as I walked myself back over to him.

“Come here.” Louis conceded as he pulled me down on top of him.

 

Our mouths connected in another heated embrace. Louis’ body weight on top of mine made me feel absolutely wonderful. He was all that I needed to make me feel better, and he did.

 

 

Louis was already gone by the time that my dad got home. I was just coming out of the shower when I heard the door shut. I gathered up my things from the bathroom and headed to my room, closing my door behind me. I really didn’t want to see my dad. But of course, I could not have my way.

 

“Lux, can you come out here? I need to talk to you.” I heard my dad bellow as I worked my hairbrush through my damp hair.

 

I cringed at the thought of us having another argument like we did last night. We were not going to see eye-to-eye on this subject and I didn’t want to step over the line and earn another unfair month of being grounded. I set my hairbrush down on my dresser before I turned and made my way out of my room.

 

I found my father sitting in the living room waiting for me. I took a seat in the arm chair as he sat forward on the couch.

 

“Hi.” He said greeting me.

“Hi.” I said quietly, not meeting his gaze.

“We need to talk, kiddo.” He said evenly.

“You said that already.” I said with a little too much attitude.

“Don’t.” He said in a warning tone.

“Sorry.” I apologized immediately.

“Listen, Lux. I know I was angry last night and I may have overreacted a little – that’s not to say that what you did wasn’t completely unacceptable, because it was. Having a boy over here while I’m gone – a boy you are sexually active with… just no, Lux.” Dad said shaking his head.

 

My chest tightened. I hated this. I hated disappointing my dad. He was the one person on this earth I could count on. And I was that for him – until recently.

 

“I’m really sorry, dad. I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry you feel like you can’t trust me anymore. I’m just sorry.” I told him.

“I know you are. And I know I _can_ trust you, Lux. You’ll just have to prove it to me.” He told. I nodded, because I really hoped it was true. I wanted him to be able to trust me again.

“Lux, there’s something I need to come clean to you about since we’re talking about honesty and trust.” He threw in.

 

I looked up to meet his eyes, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at the ground. I was confused. What did dad have to come clean about?

 

“Lux, I’ve been seeing someone.” He told me, finally meeting my gaze.

“What?” I choked out.

 

It wasn’t like I wasn’t happy for him. I had been telling him for years that he needed to go out and meet a woman – that I didn’t want him to be alone for the rest of his life.

 

Sure, there had been a few women throughout the years that dad had dated. He never introduced them to me until they had been dating for a while. He didn’t want me to get close to someone and have them ripped away.

 

After his last break up, I cried every night for two weeks. I was thirteen and Olivia had become like a mother to me. When she left, I felt broken inside – like I was losing my mother all over again. Dad didn’t date anymore after that. For four years he had stayed single, but now, apparently that wasn’t the case anymore.

 

“Her name is Julie and… and we work together. I was with her this weekend.” He confessed.

“You were with her this weekend?” I repeated.

“Yeah. I mean, it was a business thing – but she was there and…” Dad began to explain.

“I get it, dad.” I said, stopping him before he said something I didn’t want to hear.

“I’m telling you because, well… I felt a little hypocritical. But again, this doesn’t mean I am okay with what you did.” He said.

“How… how long have you been seeing her?” I asked.

“Almost three months.” He told me.

“Dad, I’m almost eighteen years old. You don’t have to hide your relationships from me anymore. I… I’m old enough to know that sometimes relationships don’t work out. It won’t be the end of the world if I meet her and you two… go your separate ways eventually.” I told him.

“I know. It’s just that… with Olivia… you…” He stammered.

“Dad, that was four years ago. Things are different now.” I told him.

“I just wanted to be careful.” He sighed.

“It’s okay, dad.” I said.

“You’re not just saying that, are you?” He asked with a look of concern in his eyes.

“No.” I chuckled.

 

He let out another sigh and ran his hands down his face.

 

“Thanks, kid.” He said, looking up at me.

“I’d like to meet her.” I told him.

“Yeah?” He asked, his eyebrow quirking.

“Sure, yeah.” I told him.

“She wants to meet you too.” He smiled.

“Good.” I chuckled.

 

Dad looked over at me, really watching me for a few moments, freaking me out a little bit.

 

“Lux…” He finally said.

“Hmm?” I asked.

“I know that this is completely against parenting etiquette, but… I think that I am going to lift the grounding that I gave you.” He told me.

“Dad…” I breathed out, feeling a rush of excitement.

“I figure you’re going off to college next year – you’re going to be an adult. And well, kid, we’ve gone almost eighteen years without me having to ground you. You’ve been a pretty perfect kid. So, why don’t we wash our hands of it?” He said with a sideways smile.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

 

God, why was I asking? Maybe because I felt bad that I had just gone against my father’s number one rule and had sex with my boyfriend in my room not even a half hour ago.

 

“I’m sure, Lux.” He chuckled.

“Thank you!” I said jumping up and wrapping my arms around him for a hug.

“But I’m still not happy you’re growing up, you know? Can’t you just stay my little girl forever?” Dad asked as I settled next to him on the couch.

“I’ll always be your little girl.” I promised him as I rested my head against his shoulder.

“You promise?” He asked.

“Forever.” I told him.

“Good. Now can we talk about you and Louis?” He asked.

“Uh…” I tensed up immediately. _What now?_

Dad chuckled at my reaction.

 

“Wha… what do you want to know?” I asked hesitantly.

“When did you start seeing each other? I mean, you said you love him. How long have you two been… you know, seeing each other?” He asked.

 

I squirmed in my seat. How would I explain that Louis and I spent hours making out before we decided anything having to do with a relationship? I wasn’t about to tell him that I slept with him before Louis and I had defined our relationship. Where did I start?

 

“I don’t know. He just… he just kissed me one day.” I told him as I shrugged my shoulders.

“I knew he liked you. I told you.” Dad chuckled.

“Yeah.” I smiled.

“You’re lucky I like him, Lux. Or things might be completely different right now.” Dad said nudging me.

“What do you mean?” I asked confused.

“Well, if he was just some scumbag from the street you would probably be grounded for the rest of your life.” Dad smirked at me.

“Well, good thing Louis isn’t a scumbag.” I rolled my eyes at my dad.

“Yeah. Good thing.” He laughed.

“Just be careful, Lux. And I mean it.” He said.

“Okay.” I said quietly.

 

We sat silently for a few moments as I thought about just how cool my father was. I couldn’t imagine having any other father. He was literally my best friend.

 

“I visited mom today.” I told him.

“Oh yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah. I had a bad day. She made me feel better.” I told him.

“I’m glad that she could do that for you.” Dad said wrapping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to his chest.

“Yeah, me too.” I said quietly.

“I love you, kid.” He said kissing my forehead.

“I love you too, Dad.” I told him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Also follow me on tumblr:  
>  http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	16. xChapter 16x

It had been a week since dad had lifted my punishment. But it didn’t seem like my life was getting any more exciting. I was still at home every night out of lack of better things to do. Louis was being worked hard during soccer practice, and I hardly saw him in school either – just quickly in passing and then in our classes together, but there was never much time to talk. And the two of us would only get to have short phone calls at night between homework and sleep to catch up with one another on a day to day basis.

 

I just really missed him… _a lot_.

 

“You’re such a sad little girl right now.” Tyler commented as we lay in my front yard in the grass after school that day.

“What? No, I’m not.” I scoffed, sitting up to look at him.

“Oh, but you are. You’re quiet and moody. I know you, Lux.” Tyler retorted in his all-knowing way as he too sat up.

“Am not.” I protested, sending a glare in his direction as I pulled my knees up to my chest.

“Louis needs to get over here and bone you on the double.” Tyler chuckled.

“Oh gross, Ty. Just because Louis and I have sex… on occasion, doesn’t mean I am some nymphomaniac.” I said rolling my eyes at his assumption.

“Maybe you don’t even know you need it.” He chuckled.

“My vagina is fine. Thank you.” I said giving him a look of pure annoyance.

“Well, jeez. You need something only _he_ can give you.” Tyler laughed.

“I need to be able to see him. That’s what I need.” I sighed, letting the fight drain out of my voice.

“Is soccer taking up his time?” Tyler questioned.

“ _All_ of his time. It wipes him out. Even this weekend when we hung out, he was just exhausted.” I told him, letting a frown rake over my face.

“Too exhausted to bone?” Tyler snickered.

“Shut up, Ty!” I said smacking him as an unwanted smile ravaged my expression. Tyler loved pushing the boundaries.

“ _Ow!_ It was a logical question.” Tyler laughed, rubbing his arm where I had hit him.

“You’re stupid.” I chuckled, rolling my eyes at my best friend.

“So, why don’t you like, go watch him practice then? At least you’d get to see him.” Tyler shrugged.

“I don’t know.” I said, unsure if I was even allowed to do something like that.

“People hang out by the field all the time, Lux. You can just be one of those people. He _is_ your boyfriend. Go watch him after school tomorrow.” Tyler suggested.

“Yeah. Maybe.” I shrugged.

 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I _should_ go watch him practice. We hardly got to see one another as it was. And who cares if I _hated_ sports. I loved Louis, so it shouldn’t matter.

 

I decided not to tell Louis of my plans to watch his practice, just in case I didn’t make it out there. Tyler hung around with me for a bit right after school, but he and Chelsea had plans to go to the mall, so he couldn’t come down to the field with me.

  
I waited until I knew the team was in full swing practice-mode before I meandered down there. Tyler was right. There was quite a scattering of people outside of the school. There were people lying in the grass doing homework, people talking to their friends, and even a couple of dudes playing a game of catch. Was this really what people did after school? I suddenly felt like I had no social life what-so-ever.

 

I hid out next to the bleachers for a little bit as my timid side took over. I wasn’t ready for Louis to see me down there. But as soon as I saw him, a wave of excitement crashed through me. He was so incredibly attractive, it was overwhelming. And he was so athletic – the way he ran around the field and the power he brought forth when he kicked the soccer ball was extremely mesmerizing.

 

After a little while, I got up the nerve to actually walk up the bleachers to take a seat. There was a group of three girls on the other end, gossiping and checking out the soccer players. A girl named Josie was one of them. She was the girlfriend of Louis’ best friend, Andy Walker. The other two, Caitlyn and Rachel, were part of her _super-cool_ popular posse. I tried to pay them no mind, but it was hard when I could hear every word they were saying.

 

As soon as I settled on the wooden bench, I looked up to see Louis smiling at me. He had noticed me right away, which sent a tingle throughout my body. I smiled back at him and the two of us waved at each other at the same time. He was adorable. I immediately felt myself relax after that.

 

After a bit of my undivided attention, watching him dribble the soccer ball, I decided to try to get a little bit of my homework done. There was only so much soccer that I could take before my mind went numb – even if my very sexy boyfriend was playing it.

 

“HOLY—! Did you see that!? Nothing but net!” One of the girls yelled.

 

I looked up to see Louis throwing his arms up in the air as his team mates cheered him on. Apparently he had just made a goal and I missed it.

 

“Oh my god. He is _so_ sexy. This just proves that Louis Tomlinson is a God amongst men.” I heard one of the girls say.

 

My head shot immediately in their direction as jealously worked through my entire system.

 

“God, I know. What I wouldn’t give to get in his bed.” Caitlyn cooed as she watched Louis on the field.

 

_Oh my god._

“You guys are bad.” Josie giggled at her friends.

“What? He is so hot. And I swear, he’s going to go pro. I should get on that. You know, marry rich.” Caitlyn chuckled.

 

I was just sitting there feeling extremely uncomfortable, getting more and more infuriated with everything they said about _my_ boyfriend. It was disgusting.

 

“He definitely does have the talent to go pro.” Josie said turning to watch the guys on the field again.

“He hasn’t dated anyone since Arianna, has he?” Rachel asked.

“No. I don’t think so.” Josie answered.

“Maybe he’s gay.” Rachel shrugged.

“ _Oh my god_. He _is_ pretty enough.” Caitlyn gasped.

 

I rolled my eyes. First of all, Louis Tomlinson was most definitely _not_ gay. And second, I was so sick of homosexual stereotypes. _‘He’s pretty enough’_. Like you needed to be _pretty_ to be gay? Tyler was as gay as they come, but he wasn’t a diva. He was a dude like any other. He was good looking, but he dressed like a dude and acted like a dude. He was content playing Xbox all day rather than worrying about fashion and his looks like the _stereotypical_ gay man. He wasn’t a queen and he wasn’t attracted to queens. He was mainly attracted to guys with the same interest as him, which usually led him to having crushes on straight boys.

 

These girls were ignorant and superficial and extremely annoying.

 

“I don’t care if he is gay. I’m gonna keep trying. He is so sexy.” Caitlyn said as she eye-fucked the shit out of my boyfriend.

“There’s a thin line between available and desperate.” Josie giggled.

“Oh, whatever. We all know how you got with Andy, you slut.” Caitlyn said smacking her friend on the arm.

 

I wanted to throw up as I listened to those harpies go on and on about all the boys they’d been with or would get with on just the soccer team alone.

 

I was grateful when practice came to an end – although when the girls immediately ran down the bleachers to go talk to the boys, Caitlyn went straight to Louis’ side. He talked and laughed with her a bit and it made me feel so incredibly small as I stayed seated in the same spot on the bleachers watching them together. Louis wasn’t a rude person, and I knew he was probably only talking to her because she was talking to him, but I couldn’t help but be effected by it. After a few moments though, he excused himself and walked over to the bottom of the bleachers by me.

 

“Hey there, beautiful.” He smiled up at me.

“Hi.” I smiled back as I gathered up my things and walked down toward him.

“You came to watch my practice.” He said.

“I did.” I nodded. I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face even if I wanted to.

“That was a nice surprise.” He chuckled.

“I wanted to see you.” I told him, matter-of-factly.

“I’m glad. Let me… uh, let me hit the locker room and then we can hang out.” He said turning to see his team mates heading off the field.

“Is it okay if I just stay out here and wait for you then?” I asked.

“Yeah sure. I’ll meet you out here when I’m done.” He smiled.

 

He gave me a little wave and jogged toward his team mates. When I looked away from Louis’ disappearing figure, I was met with an array of weird, confused looks by the three banshees standing by the fence.

 

“Who is that?” Caitlyn asked her friends as she sent me a judgmental look.

“Isn’t that his tutor?” Josie questioned.

“Oh good. I got worried for a second.” Caitlyn giggled and turned away, disregarding me altogether.

 

They walked off giggling to themselves and I wanted to throat punch all three of them.

 

The way they wrote me off like I was nothing, like I wasn’t a threat because of who I was just didn’t sit right with me. Frankly, it pissed me off. Because, guess what? I was a threat. _I have the boy you were just lusting over, you over-sexed teenaged tramps._

 

I couldn’t even focus on the homework I was doing as I waited for Louis, so I shoved it in my backpack and got up from the bleachers with a sigh. I walked out onto the abandoned soccer field, kicking the grass underneath my feet.

 

“Hey there.” I heard Louis’ voice.

 

I swung myself around to find him walking toward me wearing black basketball shorts and a grey hoodie, carrying his soccer bag over his shoulder.

 

“Hi.” I smiled, letting the animosity leave my system at the sight of him.

 

Louis walked up and kissed me straight on the lips before pulling back.

 

“Do you want to come over and hang out?” He asked.

“Sure. I’ve just got to let my dad know where I’ll be.” I told him.

“Cool.” He said.

 

Louis reached down and grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. The gesture sent a feeling of acceptance and happiness through me. I looked up at him and smiled genuinely at him. He truly made me happy.

 

“Once I get you in my room, I’m seriously not going to stop kissing you for like an hour.” He smiled over at me.

“How will we breathe?” I smirked at him as we walked hand in hand toward the parking lot of the school.

“Fuck breathing.” He chuckled.

“Good plan.” I giggled.

 

 

It had been awhile since I had been to Louis’ house, and the only thing I missed about it was the fact that we could be in his bedroom alone with the door shut. I did not miss his parents or his sisters and their negative energy one bit.

 

“Louis? Is that you?” His mom called out when we walked in the front door after practice.

“Yeah.” He called out as he kicked off his shoes and set his bag down by the front door.

“Please help Fizzy with her math homework.” She said immediately as she turned the corner, finding him in the foyer.

 

There was no hello or greeting of any kind to her son, which didn’t sit right with me. How could his family be so blatantly rude to him on a daily basis? How did they not see the amazing boy they had been blessed to have in their lives? It truly hurt me to see his home life like this.

 

“ _Oh_. Lux. Hello.” She said taken aback to see me there with him.

“Hello, Mrs. Tomlinson.” I said politely as I took off my own shoes.

“Louis, your sister…” She said, reminding him of what she just asked.

“Mum, I just got home. I haven’t eaten. I’m exhausted.” Louis finally answered her.

“It would be nice if you could help this family out once in a while. _Honestly_.” She snipped at him.

“I’m not even good at math, Mum.” He told her.

“It’s basic math, Louis. Not trigonometry.” She scoffed at him and Louis just sighed.

“I’d love to help Fizzy out, Mrs. Tomlinson. I’m pretty good at math.” I chimed in.

 

Louis had just worked pretty hard at practice and I knew he must be beat from it. It would be easy for me to help his sister. And I wanted to do that, for him.

 

“Oh, no. That’s okay.” She replied, waving me off.

“Mum, she’s my _math_ tutor. What’s the big deal if she helps her?” Louis asked looking at his mother as if she were crazy.

“Well… if you’re sure it’s not any trouble.” Mrs. Tomlinson said focusing her attention on me again.

“None at all.” I said giving her a satisfied smile.

“Okay. Well, thank you.” She told me.

“You’re welcome.” I said just before she turned back into the kitchen.

 

While Louis made us a couple of sandwiches, I sat at the kitchen table with his younger sister Fizzy, helping her through one math problem after another. It was a lot easier than teaching Louis trigonometry – that was for sure.

 

“What? Are you just selling yourself now or what?” Louis’ oldest younger sister Lottie asked me as she walked into the dining room to see that I was helping Fizzy.

“What the hell? Shut up, Lott.” Louis snapped, giving her a good shove.

“Ow! Knock it off, _Lewis_.” Lottie whined as she shoved him back.

“Don’t be such a twit. She’s _helping_ Fizzy with her math.” Louis said as he sat down next to me at the table.

 

Lottie scoffed, disregarding her brother as she moved toward the kitchen.

 

“You guys aren’t supposed to talk like that.” Fizzy pointed out.

“I’m seventeen years old, Fizz. It doesn’t matter how I talk when Mom and Dad aren’t around.” Louis said as he handed me one of the two sandwiches he had made.

“Thanks. And I’m with Fizzy on that one, by the way.” I smirked at Louis, quirking my eyebrow playfully at him.

“Yeah. See.” Fizzy said with a smile. 

“Brat.” Louis said dryly as he gave me an evil smirk. I giggled to myself as I went back to helping Fizzy.

 

Fizzy did pretty well on her homework without me even helping too much, which was good. It didn’t take very long before she was packing her school supplies back into her backpack.

 

“So Lux. Time to tutor me now?” Louis asked with a wink.

“Uh, yes. I think so.” I smirked at him.

 

I knew exactly what he wanted to do and it sure as hell didn’t have anything to do with tutoring.

 

“Do you guys kiss? Lottie said she saw you kissing.” Fizzy asked. Both Louis and I tried to stifle our laughing, but kind of failed.

“Who was Lottie talking to about me and Lux kissing?” Louis asked.

“Her friend.” Fizzy told him.

“ _Hmm_. Well Fizz. Lux is my girlfriend.” Louis told her.

“So you guys kiss then?” Fizzy reiterated.

“Yes. We kiss.” Louis chuckled.

“ _Eww_.” Fizzy said, contorting her face into a disgusted look as she made her way out of the room. Louis and I both laughed.

“She won’t be saying that in five or six years.” I chuckled.

“Ew, Lux. That’s my baby sister!” Louis laughed.

“I’m just saying.” I told him.

“I don’t want to think about it.” He shuddered.

“Sorry.” I giggled. 

“Come on. Remember what I said at the field? I’m going to make good on that right now.” Louis said grabbing my hand, pulling me out of the dining room, and up the stairs to his bedroom.

 

As soon as the door was closed, Louis’ hands grasped at the side of my face and his lips were on mine. I missed kissing him, every aspect of it.

 

“Mmm, I’ve missed this.” Louis breathed against my lips. I giggled as his lips pressed against mine again because we were both on the same page.

 

Louis quickly walked me backwards to the bed, where we tumbled upon it once the back of my legs hit against the mattress. He was certainly eager and I loved it, but then there was me – my mind was always spinning when we were in these positions.

 

“How many girls have you done this with?” I asked, surprising even myself that I had said it out loud. I had no idea why I was breaking up our happy little make-out session with a question like that.

 

Louis stopped immediately, pulling up to look me in the eye.

 

“I don’t know. Why?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked down at me.

“You don’t know? Is that because there’s been a lot?” I asked, feeling almost sick to my stomach.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever slept with.” He told me, trying to reassure me with side-stepping words.

“I-I know that.” I stammered awkwardly.

“Then what does it matter?” He asked.

“I was just wondering. I don’t know.” I said, letting my gaze fall away from his.

 

Typical Lux – making everything awkward without even trying.

 

“Lux…” Louis sighed, bringing his hand to my chin to force me to look at him. My eyes met reluctantly with his bright blue orbs.

“You’re who I care about.” He told me.

“You didn’t care about those other girls? Your other girlfriends?” I asked.

“A few, I guess.” He shrugged.

“But not all of them?” I asked quietly.

 

The last thing I ever wanted was to be just another notch on Louis’ bedpost – an afterthought in his world. If this was just a fling between us, I wanted it to be memorable for him. I wanted him to think back on it and smile because it meant something to him. I didn’t want to be forgotten – not when I had given him my all.

 

“Lux, they all meant something to me in their own way. Just like you mean something to me now. But I can honestly tell you that I’ve never felt for a girl the way I feel for you.” He told me. I silently nodded, not knowing what to say or do.

“Do you believe me?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I said quietly.

“Where did this all come from?” He questioned.

“I don’t know.” I squirmed into a seated position on his bed.

“Lux…” Louis sighed as he sat up next to me. I looked into his eyes, seeing the curiosity in them.

“Those girls… at the field…” I said as I pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

“Yeah.” He nodded, coaxing me to continue.

“That one… Caitlyn…” I said, looking up into his eyes to see his reaction as I said her name, but he didn’t even flinch.

“What about her?” He asked confused.

“She wants you.” I said quietly, looking away from him again.

“Lux, you don’t have anything to worry about. I have no interest in Caitlyn Ford what-so-ever.” Louis told me.

“But, she said she was going to pursue you _no matter what_.” I told him.

“She said that to you?” Louis asked sounding appalled.

“Not to me – to her friends.” I clarified.

“Oh.” Louis said.

“And when they saw you talking to me, they shrugged me off like I wasn’t a threat. Like there could be no way in hell that you would ever see me like that.” I said pulling my legs a little tighter against my body.

“Well, that is absolutely crazy because… look at us. Lux, don’t even let what those sharks said get to you. Caitlyn Ford and her stupid friends mean nothing to me. But you… you mean a lot to me and I’m not going to screw that up, okay.” Louis explained.

 

My eyes stayed focused on the blanket on his bed as I held my legs against me. I wanted to believe his words. I just didn’t know how to.

 

“Do you hear me, Lux?” Louis asked, using his fingers to bring my chin up so my vision met his again. I nodded, looking into his eyes.

“Can you… can you stop frowning and stop holding onto yourself for dear life? I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have anything to worry about.” Louis told me.

“You promise?” I asked quietly.

“I promise.” He smiled at me before leaning in to kiss my lips.

 

And somehow, I made myself believe his words. He never gave me a reason not to trust him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	17. xChapter 17x

“Lux. Hello.” Louis’ mother greeted me, looking startled as she answered the door at their house that afternoon.

 

I don’t know why she was always so taken aback when she saw me there. Even if she didn’t know Louis and I were dating, she still knew I was Louis’ tutor. It shouldn’t always be such a surprise that I was at her house on occasion. I could only chock it up to her not liking me – plain and simple.

 

“Is Louis home?” I asked with a forced smile on my face.

“He… uh, I think he’s playing football in the backyard.” She told me. It always caught me off guard when anyone referred to soccer as football, and it made me wonder how long it took Louis to learn to call it soccer when he moved to the States.

“Would you mind if I went back there?” I asked politely.

“By all means. Just walk around the garage and go through the gate.” She told me, pursing her lips together distastefully, and it made me not like her just a little bit more.

“Thank you.” I told her before I walked back down the front steps.

 

I found Louis through the gate in the backyard, kicking soccer balls into a large goalie net. It sent a wave of butterflies through my stomach at how exceptionally good he looked doing it. My boyfriend was a star, and _oh so_ beautiful.

 

“Hey there, hot shot.” I said with a light chuckle as I approached him. He immediately turned to look at me as a smile erupted all over his face.

“Hi.” He said happily as I leaned up and kissed his lips.

“Mmm. I missed that.” He sighed when we pulled apart.

“There’s more where that came from, believe me.” I smirked at him.

“Oh yeah?” He asked eagerly as he wrapped me in his arms, attacking me with his lips. I giggled into his kisses, loving his playfulness.

“Do you think you can take a little break from your awesome foot work to sit and talk with me for a minute?” I asked hopefully.

“I’ll do anything for you, love.” Louis said kissing me once more before we sat down in the grass.

“So my dad wants me to go out to dinner with him and his new girlfriend tonight.” I told him as we sat shoulder to shoulder in his yard.

“Oh. Well, that should be… _fun_.” Louis said, looking over at me with an odd face.

“Yeah. But you know what would be even more fun?” I asked giving him a smirk.

“You and I _‘hanging out’_ in your bedroom while your dad and his girlfriend went to dinner by themselves?” Louis offered cheerily.

“Ha-ha.” I said with a sarcastic laugh.

“Hey, it was worth a try.” He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders.

“No. I was thinking you could come with us.” I said with a wide smile. He eyed me playfully and it made me laugh.

“What?” I asked, biting my lip. He made a face to show he wasn’t comfortable.

“Louis, you can’t avoid my dad for the rest of your life. And besides, last night he wanted to make sure I knew you were still welcome at our house. He misses having you around.” I told him honestly.

“He misses me enough to not _kill_ me because I’m having sex with his daughter?” Louis asked with a wry smile. I laughed out loud at his words.

“I mean, he’s not mad at you. He’s just... I don’t know... disappointed in us.” I told him with a shrug.

“ _Ugh_.” Louis groaned.

“But, isn’t it worth it?” I smirked at him. To this, he still gave me an uneasy look.

“LEWIS!” I giggled, giving him a good shove.

“Yeah, it’s worth it.” He smiled finally.

“It will be fine. My dad is a teddy bear.” I told him.

“I know.” Louis said wrapping his arm around my shoulder, kissing me on the cheek.

“So, does that mean you’ll go?” I asked carefully.

“Lux, like I said, I’ll do anything for you.” Louis smiled fondly at me, making my heart flutter.

“You are wonderful.” I smiled as I leaned over to kiss his lips.

“Don’t you ever forget it.” He smiled wryly at me.

“I won’t.” I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder.

 

I loved the way Louis made me feel. I loved that he was my boyfriend. And I loved having someone to spend time with on such a perfect day. The sun was warm and the breeze was perfect. And the sky had those perfect puffy clouds floating in them – the kind where you can pick out shapes and pictures in their form. Everything about it was breathtaking, and I was content just being there with Louis. We didn’t need to fill the gaps in conversation. We just enjoyed each other’s presence.

 

I laid back into the grass and Louis let out a small chuckle, looking down at me before he did the same.

 

“Here. Lift your head up.” He told me. I did as he asked and he snaked his arm underneath my head so we were cuddled together in the yard.

“ _Mmm_. This is nice.” Louis hummed contently.

“Yeah.” I agreed, nuzzling my nose into his chest.

 

He had his eyes closed – those perfect long eyelashes resting gently against his rosy cheeks. He had a slight smile pulling up the corner of his mouth, in turn making me smile. He looked so content and peaceful. I loved it.

 

I leaned over nuzzling my nose against his cheek and his smile grew as he pulled my body closer to his. He leaned over, meeting his lips with mine and I felt giddy being in his arms. I loved that we could just do this. That we could lay in his yard and kiss each other. It was something I had never experienced and I loved every minute of it.

 

“Louis!” We heard his mom shout from the house. He broke our kiss and sat up quickly.

“WHAT!?” He called back to her.

“Get in here.” She bellowed.

“Jesus. What now?” Louis grumbled, pulling himself up.

“Come on.” He said grabbing my hands to help me to my feet.

 

I walked hand in hand with him to the house, trying not to notice the distain on his mother’s face as she watched us approach.

 

“What is it, mum?” Louis asked as we walked in through the back door.

“We’re heading out for dinner. I suggest changing your clothes.” She told him. I watched as her eyes darted down to our hands intertwined together, her lips pursing immediately. My grip tightened in Louis’ and I felt him squeeze mine just as much.

“Uh, I’m going out to dinner with Lux and her father tonight.” Louis told her.

“Louis…” She eyed him.

“I was invited and I said I would go, so I am going.” He said firmly.

“I had no idea you two were… _seeing_ each other.” She said looking down at our hands again.

“Well, now you do.” Louis told her.

“ _Mm-hmm_. Well, we’re going to be going soon.” She pointed out again.

“Uh, alright.” Louis said, furrowing his eyebrows at her. I felt a slight tug on our intertwined hands and realized that Louis was leading me away from his mother.

“I’d like it if you didn’t stay in the house while we’re gone.” She informed him as he led me to the staircase.

“We’re going out to dinner too, Mom.” Louis grumbled.

“Alright. Just so you know…” She said, her voice taking on a sneering quality.

“Got it.” He said as we reached the top of the stairs.

 

He led me into his bedroom and shut the door, blowing out a loud breath.

 

“I didn’t want to go out with them anyway.” He told me. It was understandable, but it still caused me to snicker at him.

“What?” He asked as he pulled me onto the bed with him.

“You’d rather face my father than hang out with your family.” I smiled at him.

“I _like_ your father.” He smirked at me.

“I have to warn you, though…” I started and Louis immediately eyed me warily.

“What?” He sighed. I had a feeling he already knew what I was going to say.

“My dad said he wanted to have a talk with you – man to man.” I told him. I bit at me lip as Louis let out a low groan.

“Hold on a moment. I’m just going to tell my mom I’m going with them to dinner.” Louis said jokingly as he made a move to stand up.

“LOUIS!” I giggled pulling him back down to me.

“I’m just kidding. But, _ugh_.” He groaned.

“It’s going to be fine, Louis. I promise. He’s not mad. He just… I don’t know. He just wants to talk. You know my dad, he doesn’t get angry.” I reminded him, trying to ease a bit of his worry.

“Ha! The last time I saw him he was _super_ angry.” Louis chuckled uncomfortably.

“He wasn’t _angry_. Well I mean, he had just caught his daughter topless making-out with a boy she swore up and down she would never make-out with.” I said defending my father.

“About that. You seriously had no intentions of ever getting involved with me?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow in question.

“Uh… not really. I mean, I never looked at you like that. You… you were… a bully. At least I thought you were. But you’re not. I mean, I got to know the real you. And well, here we are.” I said linking my fingers with his as my eyes shied away from looking into his.

“Here we are.” He repeated as he tucked his index finger underneath my chin and aligned our vision. He smiled down at me before placing a soft kiss to my lips.

 

Just as our kisses heated up there was a loud knock on his bedroom door. We shot straight up as the door opened.

 

“We’re leaving. I’d appreciate it if you two headed out too.” His mother informed us as she stood in Louis’ now open doorway.

“I’ve got to get ready, Mum. We’re leaving soon.” He told her.

“You’d better.” She eyed him with an almost menacing stare.

“We will, alright.” He grumbled as he stood up from the bed.

“Door open.” She said firmly, pushing it open completely.

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighed.

 

She walked away and I could hear his family’s over-lapping conversation in the house as they readied themselves to leave.

 

“Bollocks.” Louis said throwing himself back onto the bed. I smiled, appreciating when his British side really came out.

 

We sat silently together at the end of Louis’ bed. Neither of us made a move until we heard the door slam shut and the house grow quiet.

 

“Finally.” He grumbled. I let out a quiet snicker at Louis’ obvious distain for his entire family.

“When’s dinner?” He asked, looking to me for an answer.

“Seven.” I informed him.

“Brilliant. That means we have two hours all to ourselves.” He said pulling me down on top of him. I giggled as my lips met his.

“Do you know what the best part is?” I breathed against his lips.

“What’s that?” He asked, pulling back only slightly to look into my eyes.

“I’m on birth control.” I said quietly.

“What? When?” Louis asked, his eyes getting wide and bright.

“Just the other day. Dad took me like he said he would.” I smiled, biting at my lip as a blush crept up my face.

“ _Oh-ho-ho_. Lux!” Louis said excitedly, gripping me into his arms as he pulled me back down onto the bed with him.

“You are the most amazing girl in the entire world. And I am so glad I found you.” Louis smiled down at me, causing my entire body to heat up with excitement. I couldn’t stop smiling.

“You must say that to all the girls.” I laughed jokingly.

“I only meant it with you.” He said softly, not missing a beat.

 

His bright blue eyes were watching me as if I was the only thing he could see, like I was the only thing he wanted to look at, like I was all that mattered. That’s how he made me feel, so it was breathtaking to see those kind of emotions in his eyes.

 

“I’m so in love with you.” He breathed into the stillness and it made my insides flutter instantly.

“I love you, Lou—” I couldn’t even get his full name out before he was kissing me.

 

Our clothing was removed piece by piece in a torturous time consuming way – I almost couldn’t take it. Louis had a way to make me feel alive and wanted and desirable like I had never felt before. And he did it every time we were together.

 

The next half an hour was spent wrapped up in his arms, listening to his quiet grunts and deep moans. It was ragged breathing and heartbeats aligned and bodies intertwined. And it was everything I had envisioned sex to be before I started having it.

 

I couldn’t help think about how perfect it all was; how perfect it felt to have Louis’ weight on top of me; how perfect it felt to have his lips pressed against my own.

 

_Perfect, perfect, perfect._

 

Afterward we lay in each other’s arms, endorphins flooding our senses. We didn’t need words. All I needed was him. He made me feel so amazing and I loved him for it. He was everything I could have ever hoped for.

 

There was a thin layer of perspiration wrapping his entire body causing him to glow in the setting sunlight that shone through his bedroom window. He looked like an angel with that perfect smile on his face, his blue eyes absolutely shining.

 

I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to leave the comfort of Louis’ arms. The stillness of the house was peaceful and I found myself closing my eyes, resting my head against Louis’ bare chest as he held my body to his.

 

It almost never happened like this. Where we would get intimate and then we could just lay naked afterward, holding each other. We almost always had to rush. But not this time. We had a little time to just relax. We didn’t have parents hovering over us, watching our every move. We weren’t trying to beat the clock and race to finish before somebody came home to catch us. We were just here – in each other’s arms and I loved it.

 

“I wish we were older.” I told him.

“Why?” He asked, his voice quiet and content.

“So we could always do this.” I sighed against his skin.

“Do what?” He questioned.

“Hold each other like this afterward. It’s nice.” I explained, tightening my grip around him momentarily.

“We don’t have to be older to do this. We just need to find the right time to do it.” He retorted.

“But that’s my point. I just want to be able to do it whenever. I don’t want it to be something that’s forbidden or frowned upon. I want to be able to have you whenever I want.” I told him, looking up into his eyes.

“I’d like that too.” He smiled at me, leaning in to kiss my lips.

“I’m glad we’re here now too.” I reassured him, laying my head back down on his chest.

“ _Mm-hmm._ Me too.” He hummed, leaving a soft kiss on my forehead.

 

I let my eyes flutter shut, breathing him in, relaxing completely against him. Everything was so peaceful and I let it get to me, until I was being shaken awake by Louis.

 

“Lux, wake-up… Lux.” Louis said in a hushed tone, his soft hands and voice bringing me back to consciousness.

“ _Hmm_.” I hummed, lifting my head, letting my eyes slide open finally.

“Lux, we’ve got to get up.” Louis told me. I finally registered the slight alarm in his voice, and I was able to get on his level. The room was dark all around us except for the small flood of light coming from the lamp on his night stand.

“No.” I croaked out when I realized what had happened.

“We… we fell asleep. We need to get up.” He said again as I sat up next to him.

“What time is it?” I asked as panic spread through me.

“S-seven forty-five.” He stammered, looking at me guiltily.

“Damn it!” I yelped, scrambling out of his bed, the blanket falling away from my body, leaving me completely naked.

“ _Shit_. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let us get so comfortable.” Louis said as he too got up, crossing the room to his closet. He started pulling clothes out to put on.

 

I found my clothes on his bedroom floor and started replacing them on my body as fast as I could.

 

“My dad is going to be _so_ pissed. Oh my god.” I growled, feeling so frustrated with myself.

“I’m sorry.” Louis said again as he stepped into his pants before throwing a shirt over his head.

“It’s not your fault, Louis.” I said as I picked my pants up off the floor.

 

That’s when I felt my phone vibrating in the pocket of my jeans.

 

“ _Shit_. This is him.” I said after retrieving my phone. My stomach was knotted, making me feel sick.

“Dad.” I said answering the call as I stood in the middle of Louis’ room wearing only my bra and panties.

“LUX! Oh thank god.” He gasped dramatically.

“Dad, I-I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorry.” I said, immediately starting to apologize.

“Lux, where are you? Where have you been?” He asked sounding rather flustered.

“I… I’m at Louis’, dad. We fell asleep. I’m sorry. I came here to ask him to come to dinner and we… we just fell asleep.” I tried to explain the PG version of the real events.

“You fell asleep?” He asked, sounding slightly skeptical.

“We did, dad. I swear. We were… I guess, we were tired. We were going to meet you, I swear. I really want to meet her, dad.” I said feeling overly emotional.

“Just get home, Lux.” He said firmly, and it only made the knot in the pit of my stomach tighten.

“I’m on my way.” I told him quickly.

 

We hung up and a wave of disappointment washed over me. I had let my father down – the one person who had always been there for me. This was his big night. He was going to introduce me to his girlfriend, for God’s sake. This was huge for him and I blew it.

 

“Damn it.” I groaned as I threw on my jeans.

“Is he mad?” Louis asked with concern in his eyes.

“No, he’s not mad. He’s just… he’s super disappointed. I feel terrible.” I said, leaning down to pick up my shirt.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed to… _you know_. It was stupid. _Gahhh_.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“No, Louis. It… that’s fine. We should’ve just been a little bit more responsible…time-wise.” I said replacing my shirt on my body.

“Yeah.” He nodded, going back to dressing himself.

“I need to get home.” I told him.

“Yeah.” He said again.

“Can you… can you give me a ride? I walked over here.” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. For sure. I was going to ask if you want me to come with you anyway.” He said.

“If you want to.” I shrugged, even though I really, _really_ wanted him to come with me.

“I’ll do anything for you, love. Besides, I’m just as much to blame.” Louis said, leaning in to leave a kiss on my forehead.

 

We were both nervous as we walked up my front steps. My stomach was knotted and my guilt was pretty much eating me alive. I was not looking forward to seeing the disappointment in my father’s eyes. But when I opened the door, I could hear my father’s laughter radiating throughout the four walls of the living room and it eased the discomfort I was feeling a bit.

 

“Daddy?” I called out cautiously.

“In here.” I heard him say.

 

Louis and I walked toward the living room hand-in-hand, finding my father and a very pretty brunette lady sitting on the couch together.

 

“Are you alright, Lux?” Dad asked immediately, looking me over.

“Yeah, fine.” I squeaked out.

“Louis, how are you, my man?” Dad asked with a wide smile, focusing on the boy on my arm.

“Good, sir. And you?” Louis asked in return.

“Well…” Dad smiled, quirking his eyebrow at the two of us.

 

The tension that plagued my body ran out of me at the sight of my father’s good mood. As far as I could tell, Louis and I were in the clear. But the guilt of just having sex with my boyfriend and then falling asleep, completely missing dinner still sat heavy with me.

 

“Luxy, I would like you to meet Julie. Julie this is my daughter Lux.” Dad said as the two of them stood up.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Lux. I’ve heard nothing but great things.” Julie smiled at me. She really was a good looking woman, and from what I could tell, she seemed sweet.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. Dad’s told me so much about you, and he’s always got a smile on his face nowadays. I assume that has to do with you.” I smiled politely at her.

“He does, huh?” Julie smiled, looking up at my dad. Dad smiled back at her. And I couldn’t help but think of how weird it was, but how adorable it was at the same time. Dad deserved to be happy.

“I’m so glad my girls get to meet. And oh yes, Julie – this is Louis. He is Luxy’s… uh, boyfriend? Right? I am not just assuming that?” Dad said looking between the two of us.

“Right.” Louis said simply.

“He’s my boyfriend, dad.” I nodded with a huge smile on my face.

“So nice to meet you, Louis.” Julie said shaking his hand.

“You as well. She’s quite beautiful, Chuck.” Louis smiled at her, before turning to my father.

“You’re British.” Julie said suddenly, her smile wide, looking intrigued.

“Born and raised.” Louis smiled at her.

“Wow. Awesome.” Julie smiled, turning to me, giving a nod of approval.

“He’s handsome.” Julie said directly to me.

“I know.” I giggled, biting at my lip as I looked at Louis, who seemed to beam ear-to-ear over the compliment.

 

Instead of dinner, the four of us went out for ice cream. Dad seemed slightly nervous, trying hard to keep the conversation going when it really seemed to be effortless. I knew he was just trying to bridge the gap, but there really was no gap to be bridged. I liked Julie immediately, and it really seemed like she felt the same way about me. But dad continued to ramble on, telling Julie all about my academics, and how I became Louis’ tutor, and how from day one he had tried to convince me to give Louis a shot and I kept telling him no. During this whole conversation, I wanted to shoot myself. I kept trying to get dad to shut up, but he kept going on and on about how adorable Louis and I were, and how he was rooting for it all along. Louis was eating it up of course, laughing at all the funny parts, amused by my dad’s point of view on the situation. But the blush on my face was literally trying to eat me alive, and I kind of wanted it to.

 

“I’m glad you gave me a chance, Lux.” Louis smiled over at me.

“Yeah.” I said awkwardly, biting at my lip as dad and Julie looked at us fondly.

“It’s a really cute love story, Lux.” Julie smiled at me.

“And incredibly embarrassing.” I said, trying to avert my eyes from Louis.

“And Louis, you’re on the soccer team?” Julie asked, changing the subject, seemingly on purpose.

 

I looked up at her and she gave me a wink. I was certain she could tell how embarrassed I had gotten and she was doing me a favor. That earned quite a bit of points in my book.

 

With Julie’s question, my dad and Louis went into Louis’ soccer stats, and his prospects for college, and all the hoopla I had heard a million times before in their presence. It seemed like dad knew everything there was to know about Louis’ soccer life, and it warmed me from the inside out. Dad was so fond of Louis and it made me so happy.

 

“Our first game is on Tuesday night.” Louis smiled at my father.

“Luxy, you hear that? I think we should go.” Dad told me. I nodded my head, giving him and awkward look.

“You don’t want to go?” Dad asked, giving me a skeptical look. Louis’ head turned to me, focusing on me for an answer.

“I didn’t say that.” I said, feeling put on the spot.

“So you’ll go with me?” Dad asked hopeful.

“Of course I’ll go. He’s my boyfriend.” I scoffed lightly, reaching out to place my hand on Louis’ thigh.

“You don’t have to go, Lux.” Louis told me quietly.

“I _want_ to, Louis.” I told him sincerely.

 

I really did want to see him play in a real game rather than just at practice. I may dislike sports, but I was certain that there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Louis. And I wanted to share that with him. I wanted to be there for him, supporting him and cheering him on.

 

“I’m thinking we should deck out in the school colors, Luxy. Get air-horns and stuff. I’ll even paint ‘Louis’ across my chest if you want.” Dad said over-zealously, his eyes wide and excited.

“No! Dad, no.” I said, giving him a startled look, fearful that a part of him was being completely serious. Louis and Julie were chuckling at the two of us.

“Oh, _come on_.” Dad whined playfully.

“Dad, no way. If you do that then I’m not going with you. I’ll sit on the other end of the bleachers.” I threatened playfully.

“Louis, you’d like that, right? I wouldn’t embarrass you? We would be like your own personal cheerleaders.” Dad chuckled, trying to get a rise out of me.

“That’d be fantastic.” Louis laughed.

“Do not encourage him, Louis.” I laughed, swatting at Louis’ arm.

“I think you should do it.” Louis smirked at my dad.

“I want to, but I think Luxy might never speak to me again.” Dad laughed heartily.

“I wouldn’t.” I said, pursing my lips and crossing my arms over my chest.

 

They all laughed out loud and even though it was at my expense, I still felt a sense of belonging wash over me. It all just felt so right. Dad with Julie – me with Louis. It was good. And I was so entirely grateful.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Follow me on tumblr:**   
> **http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/**


	18. xChapter 18x

“Luxy-Lux!” I heard Tyler sing my name as he came up to my locker.

“Hey, Ty.” I greeted him lazily as I shoved my chemistry book into my backpack.

 

I truly hated having chem first period. It wasn’t my best subject so it always put me in an anxious mood first thing in the morning.

 

“So, are you busy this weekend?” Tyler asked.

“Uh, I’ve got Louis’ soccer game tonight.” I said finally focusing my attention on my best friend.

“Okay, cool. Keep your schedule wide open for Saturday night then.” He smiled at me.

“How come?” I asked, giving him a curious look.

“Sleepover at my house, duh!” He laughed.

“Oh, okay.” I snickered to myself as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

“I invited Chelsea too, if that’s okay.” He informed me, his smile dropping off his face momentarily.

“Yeah, I like Chelsea. That’s fine, Ty. Besides, it’s _your_ sleepover. Invite who you want.” I told him with a shrug of my shoulders.

“Well, I’d invite Louis too, but he wouldn’t be there for you.” He joked, implying that he would be occupying Louis’ attention, not me.

“Dream on, lover boy!” I laughed, shoving Tyler’s shoulder playfully, causing him to let out a bark of laughter.

“Oh, I _do_ dream.” He chuckled mischievously.

“I bet you do.” I rolled my eyes as we started walking to class.

“Speaking of… I haven’t heard much in the way of you and Louis lately.” He said bumping my shoulder with his own.

“Oh, we’re good. We’re good.” I said nodding my head as small smile tugged up my lips.

“That’s so… _generic_. Where’s the gossip, Lux? Where’s the juicy stuff?” He chuckled, stopping in his tracks for a moment before he sprinted to catch up to me.

“I don’t know. What do you want to hear?” I laughed, giving him an odd look.

“The good stuff!” He laughed, acting as if I should know what he meant by that.

“Well, I was supposed to have dinner with my dad and his new girlfriend the other night…” I started before Tyler’s over-zealousness cut me off.

“ _Ooh_ , yes. How is the new woman in Chuck’s life?” Tyler asked as if he were getting caught up on a soap opera.

“She’s good. She’s nice. I kind of like her.” I told him, biting at my bottom lip.

“That’s good. So, no evil step-monster traits then?” He smirked at me.

“No, I don’t think so.” I said with a small shake of my head.

“Enough about that though. Back to you and Louis…” Tyler smiled widely at me.

“Well, I had asked Louis to come with me… to the dinner. And well, we kind of didn’t make it.” I said biting my lip.

“What do you mean, you ‘kind of didn’t make it’?” Tyler smirked devilishly at me.

“We kind of… well, we kind of _did it_ beforehand and ended up falling asleep. So we didn’t, uh… make it.” I said, feeling awkward having to explain it.

“LUX LYDIA CARVER! You go, girl!” Tyler belted out, causing me to laugh out loud.

“So was Chuck like, totally pissed?” Tyler laughed.

“Surprisingly, no. We just explained that we fell asleep and he was pretty cool about it. They took us out for ice cream.” I smiled happily.

“ _After-sex_ ice cream.” Tyler quipped.

“Well, _after-sex-after-our-nap_ ice cream.” I giggled.

“Ugh, I’m jealous. I want to have a boy to have _after-sex_ ice cream with.” Tyler pouted.

“That’s what college is for, baby. You can have all the _after-sex_ ice cream in college!” I told him confidently.

“ _Ugh_. I can’t wait.” Tyler laughed as he waved me off, walking into his classroom.

 

I giggled to myself as I walked into my chemistry class. There was no doubt in my mind that Tyler would get a boy in college. Tyler was a catch – he really was. But there weren’t many options for a picky gay boy in high school – at least not in ours.

 

... ... ...

 

Louis was on fire.

 

At least that’s what dad kept telling me. His footwork was flawless as far as I could see. He was running faster than most of the dudes on the field, and he had the most goals so far at 3. I was certain if a scout was there tonight, they’d be crazy not to throw a scholarship at him. But it was only the first game of the season, with many games left that Louis needed to keep this fire going throughout. But I had complete faith that he would. He was that fucking good.

 

There was a smile plastered across dad’s face as he watched Louis from the stands. It made me smile to see the pride in dad’s eyes. He was so fond of Louis.

 

“Oh my god.” I gasped as my eyes caught on a familiar group of people in the stands.

“What?” Dad asked trying to see what I was looking at.

“They’re here. Oh my god.” I gasped again.

“What, Lux? Who’s here?” Dad asked, looking really concerned.

“Stop looking, dad. Jeez. You’re going to make it obvious.” I said swatting at his arm.

“Okay, who am I not supposed to be looking at?” He asked, averting his eyes from that side of the stands.

“Louis’ mom and his younger sisters are here.” I whispered, looking over at them through the corner of my eye.

“Good. I’m glad.” Dad said looking over there again, even though he didn’t know who he was looking at.

“Stop looking!” I growled.

“Sorry, jeez. Sorry.” Dad chuckled, facing forward again.

“Thank you.” I sighed, trying my best to keep my eyes away from them too.

“Why can’t I look?” Dad asked, unable to drop it.

“Because. Just don’t.” I said to him without explanation.

“I would like to meet them.” Dad told me, and my whole stomach turned.

“Oh my god.” I said under my breath, realizing I should have never said anything.

“What? You think we’re not going to meet at some point? You and Louis are serious about each other, Lux. What if you get _married_?” Dad asked, putting comical emphasis on the last word.

“Oh Jesus.” I rolled my eyes.

“What? It could happen.” Dad laughed.

“Maybe in like 20 years.” I grumbled.

“Well, he is the one to take your virtue. Whether it’s next year or 20 years, I’d be okay with you marrying him.” Dad smirked at me.

“Oh my god, dad! New rule. You no longer speak of my ‘virtue’.” I said using air quotes to put dire emphasis on the word. Dad laughed out loud.

“I’m just saying, I’d like to meet his parents. And his mother is sitting right over there. Why don’t you introduce us?” Dad pressed on, making me literally sick to my stomach.

“Why? Really? Why?” I groaned looking over at him.

“Do it for your Old Man.” Dad said, giving me a knowing look.

“Maybe.” I grumbled, trying to avert my eyes away from him, focusing back on Louis.

“Lux…” Dad said in his warning tone.

“Fine. After though. Let’s enjoy the game.” I told him firmly.

“Fine.” Dad agreed, tentatively dropping the subject.

 

We sat in silence for a bit watching the game before then I took the opportunity to tell him about what Tyler had mentioned earlier in the morning.

 

“So, Tyler wants me to sleepover tomorrow night.” I told him.

“Oh yeah?” Dad asked, quirking his eyebrow at me.

“Yeah. I guess it’s going to be like a slumber party or something.” I shrugged.

“A slumber party?” Dad chuckled.

“Yeah. A girl, Chelsea, from school is going to be there too.” I informed him.

“Does Tyler have any guy friends?” Dad chuckled.

“Guys are intimidated by Tyler, dad.” I said.

“Must be his good looks.” Dad quipped, knowing full well it was due to the fact that a lot of boys in high school were afraid of homosexuality.

“You know it.” I giggled.

 

I loved my father. He was the most open-minded person I had ever met. He was just so loving and accepting. I intertwined my arm with his and laid my head on his shoulder. I had no idea what I would do without my father.

 

“You tell Tyler that I said ‘hi’, okay.” Dad said giving me permission to go to the sleepover.

“I will.” I said with a smile on my face.

 

... ... ...

 

As my father and I walked toward Louis after the game, I was incredibly nervous. And it had everything to do with the fact that his mom and sisters were standing there with him.

 

Louis noticed me right away and smiled widely, giving me an excited wave. He looked incredible in his soccer uniform, all sweaty and mussed up. I couldn’t help the butterflies flapping around in my stomach.

 

“Hey!” He said hugging me immediately.

“Hi.” I said pulling back to give him a smile.

“Louis, awesome game. You are truly talented.” My dad said shaking Louis’ hand.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Louis beamed back at him.

 

I stood awkwardly next to my father, absolutely hating being in the presence of Louis’ family, under his mother’s judgmental stare that she passed down to her eldest daughter, Lottie, who seemed to be passing it on to her younger sister, Fizzy.

 

“Chuck, this is my mother, Johannah, or Jay as everyone calls her.” Louis said, introducing our parents to one another with a wide smile on his face.

“So nice to meet you.” Jay smiled, shaking my father’s hand.

“Likewise. Lux and I saw you in the stands, but we thought it might be rude to disrupt you while you were watching the star of the game.” Dad chuckled, clamping a hand on Louis’ shoulder.

“Louis did wonderfully.” She smiled, looking at her son with the makings of fondness in her eyes, and it surprised the hell out of me.

“And these are my sisters, Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy, and Phoebe.” Louis introduced them to my father.

“Hello, girls. Wow. Absolutely stunning daughters you have, Jay.” Dad said, sending Mrs. Tomlinson a wink. I heard Lottie scoff under her breath, and I immediately sent her a glare, in which she returned instantly.

 

Daisy and Phoebe were wearing two of Louis’ spare jersey’s, one home jersey and one away jersey, and they looked absolutely adorable. They were nearly chomping at the bit for Louis’ attention, tugging at his clothing trying to both talk to him at the same time to tell him he did great. I truly loved those two girls and I was glad that Louis had them in his life.

 

“You want to come over?” Louis smiled at me.

“Dad?” I asked, looking to my father for the answer.

“Yeah, that’s okay. But curfew still stands.” He said, giving his permission.

“I know.” I nodded as a huge smile formed on my face.

“Yeah, go ahead.” He smirked at me.

 

I didn’t _really_ have a curfew. But I knew what he meant. He wanted me home at a reasonable hour at least.

 

Riding in a van with Louis and his family was quite awkward. No one was talking. Louis and I sat in the way back with each other holding hands, but we both stayed quiet for the entire trip. I didn’t know what to say that could be said in front of all the women in his life – half of which did not like me one bit.

 

There wasn’t much said as Louis took my hand and led me up to his bedroom either. His mother knew where we were going and surprisingly didn’t protest, which kind of confused me a bit.

 

“I’ve got to shower. I smell like a dirty boy.” Louis told me once we were inside his room.

“Yeah, okay.” I giggled as I sat down on his bed.

“You can watch TV or something… if you want.” He said pointing to the TV that sat on his dresser.

“Okay.” I nodded, watching as he pulled his jersey over his head, leaving him naked from the waist up.

 

Louis crossed the room quickly and kissed me on the lips before he made his way out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

 

For a few moments, I just sat there in the quiet peace. But then I crawled up in his bed, covering myself with his blankets. I was so proud of him tonight. He did so amazing. And I loved the smile that came over my father’s face as he watched Louis play. I had found the perfect boy, I was certain of it. I found him and I wasn’t letting go.

 

“Where are you?” I heard Louis ask as he came back into the room after his shower.

“Here.” I said peeking out of the blankets.

“Oh. Ha. Okay. I thought you left or something.” He chuckled.

“Nope. I’m here.” I said sitting up on my elbows, taking him all in.

 

He was only wearing a towel and he had the perfect glisten of water droplets on his body. Every part of my being began to react to the sight of him. He was absolutely gorgeous.

 

“Don’t even bother getting dressed.” I said aloud, surprising even myself with that statement.

“Oh yeah?” He chuckled, quirking his eyebrow in surprise as he looked at me.

“Yeah.” I said quietly, wanting him more than anything in that moment.

 

He chuckled as he made his way to the bed and crawled up on it, the towel barely clinging to him. He kissed me immediately, before pressing his body down against mine.

 

Things progressed rather quickly for us, living under the fear that we might get caught at any moment. But we didn’t. And again, afterward, I lay in his arms basking in the light that was all Louis. He shone on me, brightening my darkest day. He was my beacon for when I was lost. He was my lighthouse bringing me closer to the shore. I loved him with everything I had in me. He was everything.

 

... ... ...

 

“Louis Tomlinson!” We heard someone gasp as the light flicked on in his room.

“What? What?” Louis mumbled tiredly.

“This is unbelievable!” His mother gasped.

“Lux.” I heard my father’s stern voice.

“ _Oh my god_.” I choked, shooting stick straight up in Louis’ bed, holding the covers over my naked body.

 

We did it again. We fucking did it again. We fell asleep. _Shit, shit, shit_.

 

“I cannot believe this! I thought you would have had her home ages ago.” His mother growled.

“ _Bloody hell_. I’m so sorry.” Louis said holding his hands over his face.

“Lux, get dressed. We’re going home.” I heard my dad say firmly.

“Yes. Yeah. _Oh my god_. Okay.” I said flustered, throwing my legs over the side of the bed, still careful to keep my body covered by the blanket.

 

As our parents left the room, closing the door behind them, I wanted to puke. We had just been caught red-handed, naked in Louis’ bed.

 

“Louis.” I breathed, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“ _Bugger_.” He growled under his breath.

“How did we… how did we let this happen again?” I choked out, feeling tears sting my eyes.

“I don’t know.” He said quietly.

 

I let dad down again. I hated this. I hated screwing up and it just kept happening. I hated the disappointment in his voice and in his eyes. I hated this so much.

 

“You better get dressed.” Louis said softly.

 

I quickly picked up my clothes from the ground and hurried to dress myself, trying to fight off my tears. My father was waiting for me and I couldn’t be long.

 

“I’m sorry, Lux. I’m sorry.” Louis said wrapping his arms around me once I had finished.

“It’s not your fault.” I said quietly.

“I love you, okay.” He said, pulling back to look me in the eyes.

“I love you too.” I told him, feeling like it would be the last few moments of freedom Louis and I had with each other. I would be grounded for sure.

 

Louis walked me down to the foyer, our hands intertwined. It made my heart explode for him because he was facing my father with me. He wasn’t just cowering in his room, leaving me to fend for myself. I was so in love with him it hurt sometimes.

 

“I just want to say I’m sorry, Mr. Carver.” Louis said quietly. Dad nodded somberly at him, and it made my gut clench. I knew dad was mad when he wouldn’t even acknowledge him with words.

“ _Lux_.” Dad said sternly, letting me know we needed to leave, _now_.

“Bye.” Louis said quietly squeezing my hand in his.

“Bye.” I said kissing him quickly on the lips before I followed my father out the door.

 

He was completely silent until he had backed out of the driveway.

 

“TWO O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING, LUX.” His voice roared, causing me to jump in my seat.

“I know. And I’m sorry!” I said as the tears began anew.

“What were you thinking!? I did not give you permission for a _sleepover_ with your boyfriend, Lux!” He yelled at me.

“I know! We fell asleep…” I said, my voice tapering off at the end.

“Yeah, you fell asleep. You fell asleep _naked_.” He scoffed.

“I’m sorry.” I said as tears fell from my eyes.

“Is this what happened the other night too?” He asked, his head snapping in my direction.

 

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the guilt weighing me down, and dad had his answer.

 

“God damn it, Lux. I trusted you.” He growled angrily. I felt horrible, and it was scary to hear my father yelling so loudly.

“I know. And I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay!” I cried uncontrollably, wiping haphazardly at my eyes.

 

Dad just shook his head as he pulled up in our driveway.

 

“You can kiss spending alone time with Louis goodbye.” Dad shot at me as we walked into the house.

“Dad… _gahhh_.” I scoffed, feeling my heart constrict in my chest.

“No! Don’t you dare. You lost my trust, young lady. Just because you have a boyfriend and you’re on birth control now doesn’t mean you get the run of the town. I am putting my foot down. This has got to end.” He yelled at me.

“But you said… you said how you wouldn’t mind if we got married. You put so much crap into my head. You… you like Louis, daddy. You like him more than me sometimes!” I sobbed, trying to make him turn his decision around.

“Do not put this on me! I have never once given you permission to go off and sleep with him and break curfew! No! This is all on you, young lady.” He shot back at me.

“I can’t deal with you like this!” I cried, feeling so frustrated.

“Like what!?” He yelled back.

“You’ve never been this way with me! You’ve never yelled at me like this! You’ve never grounded me!” I cried, sounding almost hysterical.

“Well, up until now, you’ve never given me a reason to!” He retorted quickly.

“God, this is not fair! You… you can’t keep me from him, okay! You can’t. I’m almost eighteen!” I cried, bawling my fists at my sides.

“I’m not keeping him from you, Lux! All I said is the alone time is done. You will be parentally supervised from now on! I’ll see to it myself!” He said angrily.

“God!” I cried, stomping my foot.

“Just… go to your room. Go to bed.” He said finally, letting the anger seep out of his words, replacing it with that disappointment that always seemed to eat away at me.

“ _God_.” I said breathless, like all the air had expelled from my lungs. I eyed him for just a moment longer before I spun on my heels, and stomped to my room.

 

 

It had been a perfect day. Then I just _had_ to go ruin it with my stupidity.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of the story! Thanks!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	19. xChapter 19x

I woke up with a text from Louis on my phone.

 

**Louis:** _I’m sorry. xx_

 

Plain and simple.

 

I silently wondered what kind of wrath came down upon him at his mother finding him naked in bed with his girlfriend. I felt horrible. It made me feel sick to my stomach. The woman already hated me so much.

 

**Lux:** _I’m sorry too._

**Louis:** _Are u ok? Is your dad mad?_

**Lux:** _Super mad. :/_

**Louis:** _I feel awful._

**Lux:** _Yeah. Me too._

 

Dad didn’t say much to me as I came in the kitchen to get some cereal for breakfast. He seemed to be ignoring me, which was hard to deal with. I had disappointed him thoroughly last night and I didn’t know how to redeem myself.

 

To break away from the tension, I took my bowl of cereal to my bedroom to eat it. There was another text from Louis on my phone when I got back.

 

**Louis:** _I almost wish I had gotten in trouble. Instead mom is just completely ignoring me._

**Lux:** _My dad is acting weird. Like he doesn’t know what to say to me. :/_

**Louis:** _This sucks. I’m just going to hide away in my room all day._

**Lux:** _Same._

 

I ate my cereal in silence as I thought about everything that happened the previous night. From the soccer game, to our parents meeting, to the awkward car ride to Louis’ house, to Louis’ naked after-shower body, to us in bed together, and then my dad’s stern voice pulling me out of my dream world and his angry voice shouting at me in the car. My stomach turned violently and I hated the guilt that plagued me. I would never regret being with Louis, but I certainly regretted my father and Louis’ mother finding us in his bed together.

 

“ _Gahhhhhhh_.” I growled, throwing my phone down on the mattress.

 

Seconds later I heard the doorbell ring and I silently prayed it wasn’t Louis’ mother or something. I pulled myself quickly out of my bed and cracked open my bedroom door to hear who it was. That was when I heard Tyler’s voice.

 

“Lux is in a lot of trouble, Ty. I don’t think she’s going to be able to hang out today.” Dad told him.

“Oh… she… she was supposed to come over to my house for a sleepover tonight.” Tyler stammered, and I heard the blatant disappointment in my best friend’s voice. The guilt nearly ate me alive. I hated letting people down.

“Right. The sleepover.” Dad sighed.

“Yeah. It was just going to be me and her and Chelsea. But I was really looking forward to it. Lux and I… we haven’t really gotten a lot of time to hang out lately.” Tyler said, sounding sad and it killed me.

“You’ve always been my favorite of Lux’s friends.” Dad told Tyler.

“ _Aww_. Thanks, Chuck. Does that mean she can come?” I heard Tyler ask hopefully.

“Let me think it over. Maybe I can make an exception.” Dad told him.

“Really?” Tyler asked quickly.

“I’ll have her call you.” Dad replied.

“Thank you so much.” Tyler yelped happily.

“I didn’t say she could go, Tyler.” He chuckled.

“But you’re _thinking_ about it, and that’s what matters.” Tyler retorted.

“Yeah. I’ll think about it.” Dad repeated.

“Awesome. I’ll wait for Lux’s call.” Tyler said, clapping his hands together quickly.

“Okay.” Dad chuckled.

“Bye, Chuck.” Tyler said.

“Bye, Ty.” Dad said, shutting the front door.

 

Dad was going to think about me sleeping over at Tyler’s? He must not have been as mad as he portrayed last night. Maybe he had calmed down a little after sleeping on it.

 

“Dad…” I said quietly as I came out of my room.

“Oh, Lux.” Dad said noticing me as I walked into the living room where he was.

“I-I don’t have to sleep over at Ty’s. I mean, you grounded me, right?” I said quietly.

“You hardly spend any time with Tyler anymore.” Dad pointed out.

“I see him at school.” I retorted immediately.

“Yeah, but before you got a boyfriend, Tyler was who you spent all your time with. I just feel bad for the guy.” Dad said, looking genuinely concerned.

 

I silently wondered if dad was resentful toward Louis over this incident, because he had said ‘boyfriend’ instead of saying Louis’ name. It made me incredibly sad because I knew how much my father’s approval meant to Louis.

 

“Dad, don’t be mad at Louis.” I said quietly.

“What?” Dad asked, confused.

“Just… don’t be mad at Louis.” I repeated.

“I thought we were talking about Tyler.” Dad looked at me oddly.

“But you said my ‘boyfriend’.” I said.

“Uh…” Dad stammered, looking incredibly puzzled.

“You said ‘boyfriend’ instead of saying Louis’ name. Like you didn’t want to say his name. Like you were mad at him.” I explained.

“I’m not mad at Louis. But if I catch you naked in his bed again – or any bed, there’s going to be some words exchanged.” Dad said outright. My cheeks blushed and I looked to the ground.

“Why don’t you call Tyler? Let him know you can go to the sleepover.” Dad said finally and my heart sparked to life in my chest.

“Are you sure?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Your punishment can start tomorrow.” He smirked at me.

“Dad, I don’t think…” I started.

“Lux. It’s fine. Just, I swear if I find out you left Tyler’s to go see Louis… _ooh_ , missy. You’re going to be in so much trouble.” Dad said, laying it all out for me.

“I wouldn’t…” I said as I immediately thought about how I was supposed to sleep over at Tyler’s house during the weekend dad was away, but ended up having Louis over to our house.

 

I stood there frozen for a moment while the sickness in my stomach worsened.

 

“Julie and I can go out tonight without me worrying about coming home to find you snuck your _boyfriend_ into the house.” He smirked at me.

“That’s not funny, dad.” I said quietly.

“Sorry. _Louis_ …” He smirked.

“No. Not that. The fact that you automatically think I would disobey you like that again. I-I… I respect you, Dad.” I told him, feeling tears prick in the back of my eyes. I felt so much guilt over betraying my dad already. I felt like our relationship was off its axis or something.

“Lux…” He said letting his smirk fade.

“I know I’ve been screwing up a lot lately. And I don’t have an excuse for it… except for, I’m growing up. I’ve never done this stuff before because I’ve never had the opportunity. And… and I know going against your rules is disrespectful. But I swear it was an honest mistake. We fell asleep.” I tried to explain where I was coming from.

“I know. I know you didn’t _plan_ it, Lux. I know that. I just… I just can’t have you staying out all night like that. There needs to be boundaries. There needs to be rules. They need to be followed, and there needs to be consequences enforced. I absolutely _do not_ like the way I found you. _Oh god_ , it’s a father’s nightmare, Lux. My little girl in bed with her hormonal teenage boyfriend.” Dad said shaking his head.

“Daddy… I’m sorry. But you knew. You _know_ about us. Was it really that big of a surprise?” I asked, almost immediately regretting my words.

“I don’t ever want to see it!” He growled, and I could hear the disgust and anger in his voice.

“I’m sorry.” I breathed out, looking down at the floor again, feeling my cheeks heat up.

“Just… go call Tyler.” He said, waving off the subject altogether.

“Okay.” I nodded, leaving the room without another word.

 

……

 

“What on earth did you do to get in trouble this time, Lux?” Tyler asked me as the two of us sat in his room that afternoon waiting for Chelsea to get there.

“God. The same thing as last time, but worse.” I rolled my eyes.

“What same thing?” Tyler asked.

“I fell asleep with Louis again and didn’t make it home last night.” I said sheepishly, feeling the blush on my face.

“Oh my god. When are you going to learn your lesson?” Tyler laughed blithely.

“God, I know. I am so stupid. And my dad and Louis’ mom caught us in his bed… _naked_.” I said, running my fingers through my hair.

“WHAT!? Were you _doing it_ _?”_ Tyler gasped dramatically.

“No, I just told you we were _sleeping_ , Ty.” I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“Oh right. _After-sex nap_ again?” He chuckled.

“You could say that, I guess.” I grumbled.

“So, Chuck is super pissed?” Tyler asked.

“It’s a sensitive topic.” I said nodding my head.

“Oh my god.” Tyler laughed just as we heard the doorbell sound.

“Chelsea’s here!” Tyler clapped his hands together and jumped to his feet, “come on!”

 

We hung out down in the basement watching _Mean Girls_ on repeat, just talking for a long time – _gossiping_ really. Well, Tyler and Chelsea did a good job of gossiping, while I just kind of sat there thinking about how screwed up things were in my life. I missed Louis. I hadn’t seen him all day. I hadn’t even talked to him on the phone – only through text.

 

“What are you so depressed about?” Chelsea asked, throwing a pillow at me.

“What? I’m not depressed.” I said, snapping out of my thoughts to turn my attention to my friends.

“You’re practically ignoring us. What’s up?” Chelsea asked furrowing her eyebrows.

“Lux got in trouble last night.” Tyler chimed in.

“What kind of trouble?” Chelsea smirked at me, looking intrigued.

“Big trouble with a hottie.” Tyler smirked.

“A boy? Lux, do you have a boyfriend?” Chelsea smirked at me.

 

I shrugged, but I couldn’t help the grin that formed on my face.

 

“Oh my god! You do!” She gasped, with a huge smile on her face.

“Can I tell her who it is, Lux? Can I?” Tyler asked.

“I mean… it’s not some big secret or anything.” I shrugged.

“Who is he!?” Chelsea asked looking between the two of us.

“Louis Tomlinson!” Tyler practically squealed as he told her. It wasn’t hard to notice Chelsea’s face immediately drop after hearing who it was, and it kind of made my stomach turn.

_“What?”_ She literally snapped.

 

I just stared at her blankly as I remembered her distaste for Louis. Her words echoed through my brain. _I can’t believe that you’re forced to tutor that asshole._ I remembered the sneer on her face as she talked about him. She didn’t like him at all. And now it kind of bothered me.

 

“Louis. She’s dating Louis Tomlinson. Isn’t that amazing?” Tyler asked, oblivious to Chelsea’s feelings.

“Louis Tomlinson?” Chelsea repeated slowly, looking over at me.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

_“Oh my god.”_ Chelsea said, looking white as a ghost.

 

I wanted to know why was she so affected by this? Something in her reaction did not sit right with me.

 

“What?” I snapped.

“It’s just… Louis’ a bad guy, Lux.” Chelsea told me, her cold reaction softening into a look of concern.

“He _is not_.” I countered almost immediately, glaring at her.

“He _is_.” She retorted defensively.

“Why would you even say that?” I shot at her, feeling my blood start to boil inside of me as I sat forward on the couch.

“Hey. Calm down a little bit, Luxy.” Tyler said, trying to mediate.

“Because I know for a _fact_ that he is.” Chelsea snapped back at me.

“You don’t know _anything_ about him.” I said defensively.

“Are you so sure about that?” Chelsea shot back.

“ _Oh_ , what do you know?” I scoffed.

“I know he treats girls like shit!” She threw at me.

“Louis’ been nothing but perfect to me.” I rolled my eyes.

“That’s what he wants you to believe.” She sighed.

“You’re really starting to piss me off, Chelsea.” I growled.

“Lux, I’m just warning you.” She said quietly as her cheeks blushed, looking almost scared.

“There’s nothing to warn me about. Everyone thinks he’s just some asshole, like his stupid-ass friend Andy. But he’s not. He’s an amazing guy.” I said, realizing I was sort of gushing about him, but I didn’t care.

“That’s what I thought, too.” Chelsea said quietly.

“W-what?” I asked, feeling immediately thrown off.

“He’s charming and cute and funny. And the way he makes you feel is… it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. Am I right?” She asked.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, swallowing hard.

“He gets inside your head – makes you fall for him, makes you think you’re special, he makes you believe you’re everything he’s ever wanted, too.” Chelsea continued.

 

I could feel every nerve in my body react to her words. My head was getting cloudy and my face was getting hot. What was she saying? What was going on?

 

“You… you dated Louis?” Tyler asked, his mouth hung open as he stared at Chelsea wide-eyed.

“I don’t know if I’d call it that.” Chelsea scoffed bitterly.

“What do you mean?” Tyler asked, confusion marring his features.

“I’d say he was just _using_ me.” Chelsea said.

“For what?” I snapped at her.

“What else is there!?” Chelsea yelled at me, but all I could do was quirk my eyebrow at her, needing her to say the word.

“ _Sex_ , Lux. Jesus, you’re not that naïve, are you?” Chelsea snapped.

 

My insides twisted violently. _Chelsea and Louis? Louis and Chelsea?_

 

“You’re lying!” I shot at her.

“I’m not, Lux.” She said, looking at me with so much pity on her face. It made me want to smack her.

“You and Louis Tomlinson?” Tyler asked again, in just about as much shock as I was in.

“I thought everything was good. I thought we were in this amazing relationship. And I wanted to… I wanted to be open about it. I wanted to tell people. My friends and stuff. I mean, it’s Louis Tomlinson, right? One of the most popular boys in school. But a few days after mentioning the fact that I wanted to tell people, he broke it off. Telling me that things were moving too fast and he just didn’t like me in that way anymore.” Chelsea explained, and I could see the real emotion on her face. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. My insides were being torn apart violently, starting with my heart.

“I-I was crushed. I cried for days. And then I realized he had just been using me. And he wasn’t the person I had thought he was in the beginning.” Chelsea said sadly, picking at her fingernails, unable to look at either of us.

“Maybe he just didn’t like you.” I said bitterly.

 

Her eyes shot up to mine, looking incredibly hurt that I would say something like that. I felt bad immediately. I felt like the mean girls that were being portrayed in Tyler’s television.

 

“Tell me this, Lux. Has he told his friends about you? Do they know about you? Have you hung out with them? Gotten to know them?” She shot at me.

 

I hadn’t. And as far as I knew, they didn’t know about me. But, it really wasn’t a secret. I mean, Louis had kissed me at school. Granted, it was when nobody was around. But would he even take the chance to do it if there were a possibility of getting caught if he was supposedly hiding our relationship?

 

“He’s a bad guy.” Chelsea said again.

“Shut up! Just _shut up_.” I snapped, getting up and walking to the bathroom.

 

I slammed the door behind me and pulled out my phone. I found Louis’ name and called it. He picked up on the fourth ring.

 

“Hey.” I barely heard him say over loud music on his end.

“Hi.” I said trying to be quiet, yet loud enough for him to hear me.

“Lux? Are you there?” I heard him shout into the phone.

“I’m here.” I said louder.

“Sorry, I can’t hear very well.” He shouted.

“Where… where are you?” I said loudly.

“I’m with Andy… at a party.” He told me.

“Oh.” I said quietly.

“ _Louis_ , come on!” I heard a girl shout in the background.

 

My whole body tensed. I was riled up as it was, but to hear he was hanging out with other girls just sent my insecurities through the roof.

 

“Better get back to your _friend_.” I shot at him.

“Oh. Uh… I’d rather talk to you.” He told me.

“No, go have fun. We can talk later.” I told him, feeling sick to my stomach.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Alright. I’ll talk to you later, babe.” He said.

“Yeah.” I said again.

“I love you.” He added.

“Yeah, you too.” I said almost inaudibly before I hung up the phone.

 

I sat on the edge of the bathtub for what felt like forever trying my damndest to come up with valid points that proved Louis really loved me. But my mind was coming up short. Every insecurity I ever had about him and our relationship was shining through. And before I knew it, the sting of tears was apparent.

 

_This can’t be happening._

 

Tyler tried to coax me out of the bathroom several times, but I kept telling him to go away. My tears had died down to a small sniffle. I felt numb, but everything was still running ragged on my mind. My perfect guy did not exist – he never existed in the first place and I was devastated.

 

The thing that stung the worse was he had lied about his virginity. He made me think I was special. But I wasn’t. Not when he had sex with Chelsea before me. I couldn’t believe someone could be so incredibly cruel – not only to me, but to Chelsea as well.

 

I felt sick. Every part of my being was screaming in agony. How could I have been so naïve? How did I trust him so easily when he was nothing but a liar? Louis had made a fool out of me and I didn’t know how to handle myself.

 

I pulled my body up from the edge of the tub, steadying myself before I moved an inch. I needed to get out. I didn’t want to be there anymore. Not with Chelsea around. Just the thought of her and Louis together was enough to make me want to die.

 

I pulled open the bathroom door and it made an obnoxious squeaking sound.

 

“Lux? Luxy…” I heard Tyler call as he made his way toward the bathroom door.

“Can you… can you take me home? I need you to take me home.” I told him. My mouth was dry and I had to clear my throat several times to make my voice sound like my own again.

“Are you okay?” He asked putting his hands on my arms, trying to look into my eyes. But I didn’t want to look into his. I just wanted to go home.

“Please, Ty.” I whispered.

“Tell me what’s going on inside of your head.” He said quietly.

“I-I don’t want to talk about it.” I told him.

“I think you need to, Lux.” He retorted.

“I _don’t_ want to.” I growled, gritting my teeth together.

“Chelsea feels terrible.” Tyler pointed out.

 

I swallowed hard, feeling the anger and jealousy build up inside of me.

 

“He lied to me, Tyler. All this time. He… he lied to get me to sleep with him. He told me he was a virgin!” I said feeling a wave of tears hit me. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Even I was fooled. I thought he was an angel.” Tyler said giving me a look of sympathy.

“No. He was just a vulture.” I spat out.

“If you really want me to take you home, I will.” Tyler told me.

“I want to go _now_.” I replied.

“Okay.” He said quietly as he wrapped his arms around me for a hug.

“I love you, Lux Carver. You’re my best friend and I’m sorry this is happening.” He breathed in my ear.

 

This, of course, made me bawl like a baby. I buried my face in his shirt and cried.

 

“You’ll be okay. I’ll kick his ass if you want me to – or attempt to at least. I’d do that for you.” Tyler said with a smirk after I pulled back to wipe my eyes.

“No.” I breathed, chuckling through the tears.

“He never deserved you anyway, baby girl.” Tyler said sweetly.

“Thanks, Ty. I just… I just want to go home.” I told him.

“Okay.” He said putting his arm around my shoulder as we walked out to the family room where Chelsea was sitting on the couch.

“I’m sorry, Lux.” She said looking at me sympathetically.

“Yeah.” I breathed, unable to even look over at her.

“I’m going to take her home. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Tyler informed her.

“Okay.” Chelsea said quietly.

 

It didn’t take long at all until I was walking through the front door of my house. I could hear voices in the kitchen and I wondered what was going on. I walked in to find my dad and Julie half naked, digging through the fridge. She was wearing one of my dad’s dress shirts. And it seemed to be all she was wearing. And dad… well all he was wearing was his boxers.

 

“Oh my god! I’m sorry.” I said immediately turning my eyes away from them.

“LUX! What are you… what are you doing home?” Dad choked out, surprised as ever to have me waltzing in.

 

I was just glad I hadn’t come home any sooner. I did not want to be witness to the foreplay or the sexual act itself. Just having the thought cross my mind gave me the heebie-jeebies.

 

“It’s a long story. I’m going to my room.” I told them quickly.

“Uh… okay.” Dad said as I darted out of the kitchen, making a beeline straight to my room.

 

Oh my god. I could have gone the rest of my life not picturing my father having a sex life. Now the sight of him and his girlfriend half naked in the kitchen would be burned in my memory for all eternity.

 

As soon as I got into my room and pushed my door closed, everything else flooded back to my brain. I could feel the memories of Louis in my room. We had spent a lot of time in there together – a lot of good times. Or at least what I had thought were good times. Now all my memories were tainted with his lies.

 

I threw myself down on my bed and curled up into the fetal position. I should have known it was too good to be true.

 

The noise of my ring tone pulled me out of my head a little while later. I sat up and retrieved my phone from my bag.

 

 

I felt sick. I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t want to hear his voice. I couldn’t. I ignored the call and the next three consecutive calls before he finally gave up. I curled up in my bed, not even bothering to change my clothes before shutting off the light and falling asleep.

 

Tomorrow was going to be a hard one to get through.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	20. xChapter 20x

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing from beside me on the bed. I saw _his_ name and almost answered it, because for a split second I had forgotten about everything. But my finger hit the ignore button after I realized my mistake.

 

I didn’t really care how it made him feel. He could sweat it out. I didn’t want to deal with him at all… _ever again_.

 

I pushed the covers off of my body, realizing I was still wearing my clothes from the night before, letting out a quiet sigh.  I rubbed at my sore eyes that were most likely blood shot from all the crying I had done. Sitting on the edge of my mattress with my feet on the floor, I took a deep breath in. I could feel the pain encompassing my heart once again, as I fought back the urge to cry. It was unexpected, yes. And oh god, it was agonizing. But Louis Tomlinson had humiliated me enough. I wasn’t going to sit at home and cry over him like a pitiful little girl. Why let the bully win?

 

Visions invaded my head of Chelsea’s painful expression when she told me about Louis. I tried to shake them off, but they were only replaced with memories of me and Louis together. _The good times_ – the ignorant little façade I had been living in.

 

That was when I decided to ignore it, to block everything out, because I could not physically or mentally take the frustration anymore. I could not handle feeling like my heart was going to burst out of my chest from the agony of what he had done. Deep down, I knew the barricade I was building around my head and heart was only temporary. But for now it would have to do.

 

I pulled myself to my feet and drug myself out of my room. Eating breakfast – that was a mundane life task that could keep my mind off of _things_ , momentarily.

 

When I walked into the kitchen I was met with my father, and memories of walking in on him and Julie half-naked in front of the refrigerator came back with a vengeance. My cheeks became flush almost immediately as I avoided eye contact with him.

 

“Morning, Luxy.” He said, trying to sound cheery, but it only came out as strained and awkward.

“Morning.” I said grabbing a banana off of the counter.

“Do you want to talk about last night?” He asked.

“ _What?_ No.” I scoffed awkwardly as I peeled the banana, sure that my cheeks were now fire engine red. _No dad, I do not want to talk about your sex life, thank you very much._

“I meant about why you left Tyler’s.” Dad said dryly.

“Oh.” I breathed out.

“Did you get into a fight?” Dad asked.

“No.” I said softly.

“Were you home sick?” Dad asked.

“Dad, I’m seventeen, not seven.” I rolled my eyes, looking at him for the first time.

“I know. Although sometimes I still wish you were seven. Reading your moods was a lot easier back then.” Dad smirked at me.

“Dad, I’m fine.” I sighed.

“Your puffy eyes beg to differ. Lux, I could hear you crying last night.” He told me, making my stomach turn.

“I’m fine, dad.” I said turning toward the fridge, absent-mindedly opening it, trying to find something to do to avoid my father and his questions I did not want to answer.

“I don’t think you are.” He retorted.

 

I squirmed in front of the fridge as I looked inside, trying to come up with a way to avoid this topic altogether. That’s when the doorbell sounded. _Saved by the bell…_

Dad got up from the kitchen table with a huff and peered out the front window to see who it was.

 

“That’s Louis’ car.” Dad said.

“ _No!_ I don’t want to see him.” I blurted out, unable to stop myself.

 

As much as I didn’t want to enlighten my father on the reason that would explain my behavior last night, I didn’t want to see Louis even more.

 

“What? Why?” Dad asked, looking at me oddly.

“Just… I don’t want to see him.” I said giving him a pleading face.

“He’s the reason you were crying?” Dad asked, quirking his eyebrow.

“Dad, just please. Make him go away.” I nearly whimpered.

“What did he do?” Dad asked sternly.

“Nothing. Just tell him I’m not here.” I pleaded with him.

“We’re not done talking about this young lady.” Dad pointed his finger at me before he walked out of the kitchen to answer the door.

 

I stood motionless, hidden in the corner of the kitchen as my dad answered the door.

 

“H-hi, Mr. Carver…” Louis stammered.

“Hello, Louis.” Dad said.

“Uh… is, uh… is Lux here?” Louis asked awkwardly.

 

Louis was completely oblivious to the information I now knew about our sham of a relationship, so his awkwardness came strictly from me not answering his calls the night before, or this morning.

 

“No. Nope, Lux isn’t here.” Dad lied seamlessly.

“Uh, do you know where she is? I’ve already been to Tyler’s and Tyler wouldn’t tell me anything.” Louis told Dad.

“No. If she’s not at Tyler’s and if she’s not with you then I don’t know where she is.” Dad said without concern in his tone at all.

“Are you worried? Because I’m a little worried. I’ve tried her cell phone like twenty times.” Louis said sounding genuinely upset, which was completely odd to me. But then again, he was a _really_ good actor.

“I just talked to Lux not too long ago. I’m not worried.” Dad told him.

“Oh. Well, is there something wrong with her cell phone or something?” Louis asked.

“I’m not sure, Louis.” Dad said, giving him nothing but short answers.

“Oh. Well, thanks, Mr. Carver.” Louis said finally.

 

Dad took no great strides in correcting Louis when he called him ‘Mr. Carver’, which meant dad was being skeptical with the boy formally known as my boyfriend.

 

“You’re welcome, Louis.” Dad told him.

 

I tried to sneak out of the kitchen to get back to my room before dad caught me and wanted to talk, to no avail.

 

“Not so fast, young lady.” I heard dad say as I tip-toed down the hallway. I froze in my footsteps.

 

_Damn it._

 

“Get back here right now.” Dad said sternly. I sighed and turned back toward him.

“I don’t want to talk about it, dad.” I told him immediately.

“I don’t care. I want to know what he did to make you cry. And I want to know why it seems like he has no idea how badly he apparently messed up.” Dad said, heightening his eyebrows as he awaited an answer.

“ _Gahhhh_.” I hissed, as a lump formed in my throat. Just the thought of it was going to make me cry.

“Lux, what is going on?” Dad asked sternly.

“Apparently Louis hasn’t been truthful with me in everything having to do with our relationship... and stuff.” I said as the emotion wavered my voice.

“Like what?” Dad pried.

“I don’t know. _Stuff_.” I said vaguely, avoiding eye contact altogether.

“Wow. Stuff. Interesting.” Dad said sarcastically.

“God, dad. I’m going to cry again. Do you want me to cry?” I said as my face scrunched up involuntarily with emotion, forcing the first batch of tears out of my eyes.

“No, I don’t want you to cry. I just want to know what is going on with you.” He told me.

“Louis wasn’t a virgin when we… _you know_ …” I told him.

“Okay…” Dad said waiting for more, not realizing how big of a deal it was to me. Dad hadn’t known whether or not Louis was a virgin in the first place, so I guess my explanation had been a little lacking.

“He wasn’t a virgin, dad! He told me he was. He lied to me.” I cried, wiping at my tears haphazardly.

“Oh. _Ohh_.” Dad said, catching on. My tears were coming out heavily again and I was determined to keep the rest of it – everything about Chelsea and the false relationship – to myself. The virginity thing was enough for dad to know.

“He made a big deal about it, and… and then I find out he wasn’t even a virgin.” I told him.

“Maybe… maybe, Lux… maybe he was embarrassed. I don’t know. Maybe it was something he wasn’t proud of. Maybe he wished he could take it all back, and then with you… with you it was like really losing his… his, uh… _virginity_.” Dad said awkwardly, and it was as painful for me to listen to as for him to say it.

 

Of course he wasn’t proud about losing his virginity to Chelsea. After all, he was using her, wasn’t he? He kept their relationship a secret, didn’t he? And when she wanted to go public, he broke up with her, hadn’t he? No, nothing my dad said was helping. And the fact that he was making excuses for Louis really ticked me off.

 

“Don’t stick up for him!” I growled.

“I wasn’t, Luxy. Just… I don’t know. Maybe he has his reasons. Have you talked to him about it?” Dad asked.

“No! I-I can’t even look at him.” I cried out.

“Lux. If you’re not mature enough to deal with these sorts of problems then maybe you shouldn’t be having sex.” Dad told me sternly.

“ _God_ , dad. I should have known.” I scoffed as I stalked back down the hallway toward my room.

“You should have known what?” Dad called after me.

“THAT YOU’D TAKE HIS SIDE!” I yelled back at him before slamming my door.

“I’m not taking his side, Lux! Come back out here and talk to me.” I heard his voice get closer to my door.

“I don’t want to talk, dad!” I yelled back to him. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about it. And I sure as hell didn’t want to hash it all out with Louis.

“I think it would be better if you talked about it.” Dad said through my closed door.

“I’m FINE, okay! Just… just leave me alone.” I told him.

“Lux…” Dad said.

“I’M FINE!” I yelled.

“Okay, _fine_.” Dad sighed. And as far I could tell, he had left my door and I was relieved – about as relieved as I could have been in this sort of circumstance.

 

The rest of the day was spent trying to sleep, trying to dodge Louis’ incessant phone calls, and trying to assure both my father and Tyler that I was fine. They weren’t making it very easy on me to ignore what was going on, so the pain in my heart and stomach only kept growing in size.

 

By nightfall, I figured I’d be able to use my stomachache to my advantage when it came to school the next morning. I devised a plan and tried to perfect it in my head as I went to bed that night.

 

I woke up with a pain in my head that seemed to wrap around my entire brain from front to back. My stomachache was still there, but not quite as bad as it previously had been. And as for the ache in my heart – that wasn’t about to go away anytime soon. And it sure as hell was one pain that wasn’t going to go away on its own.

 

I couldn’t go to school. Louis was bound to confront me about why I let an entire day go by without answering his phone calls, without speaking to him or seeing him once. Louis _would_ confront me. It was inevitable. And it was the last thing I wanted. I couldn’t handle seeing him carry on with the charade any longer. It would be better for the both of us if he would just drop it altogether. I didn’t want to see his face. I didn’t want to hear his voice. I just needed him to stop it all.

 

“Lux, you need to get up right now.” Dad said, coming into my room. I was still nestled into my bed sheets and school started in a half an hour.

“I’m not going.” I grumbled.

“You are. Get up.” Dad told me.

“I’m not going back there _ever_.” I told him dramatically.

“What did school ever do to you?” Dad asked jokingly. I gave him a look of contempt to show him that I was serious.

_“Yikes.”_ Dad chuckled at my reaction.

“This isn’t funny, dad. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to see him.” I said throwing the covers over my head.

“Lux, you’re seventeen years old. You need to grow up and face your… _entanglements_.” Dad told me.

“Can’t I just have _ONE_ day?” I cried out, tossing the blanket off my head.

“Yes. That day was yesterday. You told me to tell Louis you weren’t home. I told Louis you weren’t home. Today, you go to school.” Dad said walking over, pulling the covers off of my body.

“God, dad! This isn’t fair.” I cried out.

“Life isn’t fair, sweetie. Hate to break it to you.” Dad smirked at me.

“I hate your entire gender.” I seethed, narrowing my eyes at him. Dad laughed out loud.

“Get up and out of bed. You’ve got about twenty minutes to shower and get ready.” Dad said patting the side of my leg.

“ _Ughhhhhh_.” I grumbled as he made his way out of my room.

 

I spent fifteen of those minutes hiding under my covers once again. And the last five were spent brushing my teeth, throwing my hair in a messy ponytail and dressing myself in sweats.

 

Today, I just did not give a shit.

 

I laid low for as long as I could at school that day. I didn’t see him until I arrived at English class. I was incredibly nervous and I was strongly contemplating skipping the two classes we shared. He was already sitting in the classroom, more than likely waiting for me.

 

I worked up the courage to step a foot inside, but as soon as my eyes met with his, I instinctively turned and ran the other way. Fight or flight, right? I guess we all know which one I chose.

 

I ran down the hallway and out the front doors of the school. I didn’t care if anyone saw me. I didn’t care if I was about to be caught by the school security guards and given detention. They could give me a lifetime’s worth of detention, but there was no way in hell I was stepping foot in that classroom again. Not today.

 

Once I was out the double doors, I knew I needed to move fast to head-off any teachers or security that were about to pounce on me at any moment. When I heard the double doors open behind me, I cringed. I was caught.

 

“LUX!” I heard.

 

That was no teacher. That was not campus security. It was Louis.

  
_Fuck-fuck-fuckity-fuck_.

 

I just kept on going, ignoring him shouting at me.

 

“LUX! What the fuck? Lux, stop!” He shouted after me.

 

I was already halfway to my car and I wasn’t stopping. I had to park way in the friggin’ back because of my tardiness, so the situation wasn’t ideal for a swift getaway.

 

“What the hell is going on? LUX!” Louis growled as he caught up to me at my car. He took my arm and spun me around to face him.

“Why are you running from me? What the _hell_ did I do?” Louis shouted at me, his eyebrows marred together in terrible confusion.

 

I looked away from him immediately, avoiding eye contact at all cost as I gritted my teeth together to try to prevent myself from crying.

 

“Why the bloody hell have you been screening my calls? Lux, what the hell is going on?” Louis demanded.

“I don’t want to see you anymore.” I told him as strongly as I possibly could, but it came out as more of a whimper than anything.

“W-what? Why!?” He stammered, obviously taken aback by my sudden outburst, dropping my arm from his grasps like I had just physically burned him.

“You know why.” I shot at him, letting myself finally meet my eyes with his.

“I _don’t_ know why! That’s why I just fucking asked.” Louis snapped, anger lacing his tone.

“ _Fuck you_ , Louis.” I said, turning toward my car.

“Whoa! What the hell? Lux, _what_ did I do?” He said grabbing my arm again to get me to face him. I scoffed loudly, glaring into his eyes. He gave me an impatient look in response.

“Chelsea.” I spat at him.

“W-what… what about her?” He stammered, looking incredibly guilty.

“I know all about it, Louis.” I sneered at him.

“About what? There’s nothing to know.” He said, showing off his incredible acting chops.

“Nothing to know? I’ll be sure to tell her you’re still denying that anything happened between you two.” I scoffed, feeling the sickness worsening in my stomach.

“Look, Lux. Chelsea and I… we sort of… I don’t know. We were hanging out for a while. But it didn’t work out.” Louis said quietly, absently running his fingers through his hair.

“Hanging out?” I snorted, letting out a menacing chuckle.

“Yeah. _Hanging out._ I mean… is that the reason you’re _condemning_ me right now? Because I didn’t tell you I used to make-out with Chelsea on occasion?” He asked, looking at me perplexed.

“Make out? Wow. You’re _still_ denying it.” I scoffed, shaking my head in disbelief.

“DENYING WHAT!?” He yelled out in frustration.

“She told me everything, Louis. _Everything._ ” I yelled back.

“Do you need me to reiterate it or something?” Louis asked sarcastically. He always got sarcastic when he got annoyed. This was typical behavior for him, but I usually only ever saw it used on his sisters.

“Yeah. I do.” I shouted at him.

“ _God_ , Lux.” He said shaking his head.

“Tell me the fucking truth, Louis! For once in your life.” I shot at him. His eyebrows furrowed deeply, looking at me in disbelief.

“We used to make-out. I’ve seen her naked. I’ve touched her in many places I don’t really feel like discussing at the moment. But it didn’t work out between us. Is that what you wanted to hear!?” He shouted at me. I scoffed again, my body tingling with anger and regret.

“WHAT!?” He yelled at me.

“You had _sex_ with her!” I cried out.

“W-what?” He stammered, looking incredibly confused.

“She told me you were using her for sex.” I snapped.

“No. No, no. Lux, _no_.” Louis said, adamantly shaking his head.

“She told me, Louis! She fucking _told_ me. Stop lying to me!” I shouted at him.

“No! _She’s_ lying, Lux! She’s fucking lying! I never had sex with her.” He shouted back.

“God!” I growled, annoyance wrapping around me like a blanket.

“Lux, you have got to believe me. I never had sex with her.” He said sternly.

“How am I supposed to believe anything you say? This whole thing has been a lie – our whole relationship.” I cried, wiping quickly at the tears threatening to fall.

“No. It hasn’t, Lux. Just… just listen to me.” He pleaded, reaching out to touch me, but I pulled away before he could.

“Just leave me alone… _forever_ , Louis. You’ve humiliated me enough.” I cried as I turned away from him to unlock my car door.

“Lux! Stop!” He shouted, grabbing onto my arm.

 

He grabbed onto my other arm and faced me toward him, holding me in place.

 

“YOU, Lux. You are the only person I have ever had sex with. I wasn’t lying. I wouldn’t lie about that. You have got to believe me.” Louis pleaded.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.” I said pulling out of his grasp.

 

I didn’t add up. It didn’t make sense. Why would Chelsea lie about something about like that? What would she have to gain from it?

 

“I can’t believe this. I can’t _fucking_ believe this.” He grumbled angrily.

“That’s what happens when you fuck with people for fun, Louis.” I shot at him bitterly.

“I WASN’T FUCKING WITH YOU!” He yelled.

“And Chelsea? What about her?” I asked.

“Lux…” He sighed.

“It was all a game with her?” I asked.

“No.” He shook his head.

“Enlighten me.” I shot at him and he sighed again.

“With… with Chelsea… I mean, I fancied her. I really did… at first. But, I guess once I got to know her, I just realized we had absolutely nothing in common. It was a struggle to come up with things to do together, things to talk about. And all of a sudden she was telling me she loved me and that she wanted to take our _fling_ , or whatever it was, public. And I freaked out. I had wanted to end things before that and I felt terrible that it came down to her professing her feelings for me to force me to have to end it. But I knew I had to before she really got hurt. I swear though, Lux…. I swear sex was never involved. We never went that far. And I don’t know why she told you that. I don’t know why she’s lying. But I’m telling the truth. I never had sex before you.” He explained.

 

My head was spinning. How could I know who to trust? They both sounded so sincere with their pleas. But it only meant one thing – that one of them was an exceptionally good liar.

 

“She told me when she wanted to go public with your relationship, you bailed on her. You just completely disregarded her.” I said as I fought back the tears.

“I-I didn’t mean to. I wanted to stay… _friends_ , I guess. But there just wasn’t anything there. Maybe… maybe she’s bitter because of that.” Louis said looking sincere.

“But you hid her. You hid it from everybody, that you were seeing her.” I pointed out.

“I didn’t hide her. We were just hanging out. We were never dating.” Louis said shaking his head.

“Nobody knows about _us_.” I said quietly.

“Lux, no. _Don’t_. Don’t even think that this is the same thing.” Louis said, realizing where my train of thought was headed.

“How can I not!? Nobody in your life besides your family knows we’re together! Not even your best friend knows about me, Louis! How fucked up is that?” I said as tears streaked down my cheeks.

“Lux, I’m not _hiding_ you. We’re together. We’re a couple. I just… I figured people would find out eventually. I’m not going out of my way to _not_ tell people the truth. And Andy’s a wanker. Why would I want him to know anyway?” Louis explained.

“BECAUSE HE’S YOUR BEST FRIEND! Because right now I feel like I’m just a notch on your bedpost!” I cried out.

“LUX, I FUCKING LOVE YOU, OKAY! I don’t go around saying that to just anyone! As a matter of fact, I don’t say it to anyone _BUT_ you! YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON ON THIS BLEEDING PLANET I TELL ‘I LOVE YOU’ TO! That’s got to count for something!” Louis yelled.

 

My face was in my hands as I cried, trying to believe the words he was saying. I wanted to believe them so badly.

 

“I gave myself to you, Lux. You are it for me.” He said a bit calmer than before.

_“Gahhh!”_ I cried out, meeting my tear-filled eyes with his anxious ones.

“I wanted to give you everything I had. Do you know how hard it is for someone like me to do that – to leave myself that vulnerable!? There is nobody on the planet that has looked at me the way you do; that has cared for me the way you do. Nobody, Lux. Even when you pretended to hate me, I could still tell how much you cared. Honestly, the night you stuck up for me to my parents changed everything for me. I was certain I fell in love with you in that moment. No one has ever stuck up for me like that. No one, Lux. No one has opened their arms to me the way you and your dad have. Why would I ever screw that up? Why would I go out of my way to fuck everything up between us?” Louis explained.

 

I couldn’t speak. My sobs were coming out too violently to respond.

 

“I fucking _love_ you, Lux.” Louis said exasperated. He grabbed my arms and stuck his face in my line of vision so our eyes met.

“I LOVE YOU!” He practically screamed in my face.

 

Before I even had a chance to respond, we heard a security guard shouting at us from a distance. I pulled myself out of Louis’ grasp and shoved my car keys in his hand.

 

“Drive.” I told him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	21. xChapter 21x

“Drive.” I told him before I sprinted over to the passenger side of the car and got in.

 

Louis got in the driver side and started the car. Without question, he peeled out of the parking lot, making a smooth getaway. We both already knew we were going to be in trouble for skipping class. It didn’t matter if we fled the scene or not. At least this way we wouldn’t be forced to go back to class.

 

“Where do you want me to go?” He asked, catching a glimpse of me out of the corner of his eye.

“Uh, my house?” I told him hesitantly. He nodded and drove straight there without a word.

 

When he parked the car in my driveway, he cut the engine but didn’t move a single muscle. He didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything. We just sat there in silence for a little while.

 

“Do you… do you want to come inside? To talk – _just_ to talk.” I stammered, feeling my whole body heat up with unwanted discomfort.

“Yeah. Yeah, we need to talk.” He said calmly, looking over at me.

 

We stared into each other’s eyes for a few lingering moments before we both made the move to get out of the car. Louis walked silently behind me up the sidewalk and up the porch steps before following me into the house.

 

I felt weird now, with Louis there with me, after what Chelsea had said. But Louis’ words, I _swear_ , felt like there was at least a little honesty in them. But how could I know for sure?

 

Without a word, I passed quickly into the living room and sat down on the couch. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them as Louis came into the room and sat down a little distance away from me. Neither of us were speaking, and the tension was palpable.

 

I hated that this happened. I hated that our perfect, blissful bubble had been popped. It wasn’t fair. Why was this happening? It made me sick to my stomach. I hated being so far away from him. But I couldn’t get past the nagging doubt… not entirely.

 

“Why would Chelsea say something like that?” I spoke my thoughts out loud.

“Lux… I don’t know. I really don’t know why she would say that. But I am telling you the truth. I never had sex with her.” He told me, his expression marred with emotion. I had to look away in order to think with a level head. He sounded so sincere; even looked it. Could he be telling the truth?

“Do you believe me?” He asked, trying to meet my eyes again. I bit at my thumbnail as I continued to hold my knees tightly against my chest.

“Lux, do you believe me?” He asked more impatiently.

“I… I’m just… I’m so confused.” I told him honestly.

 

My eyes were burning from crying and I knew I was just as likely to start crying again if we continued talking about this. But I also knew it was something that couldn’t be ignored.

 

“What are you confused about?” He asked carefully.

“Why would she say something so slanderous? Why would she say it if it weren’t true?” I asked, finding the courage to look into his eyes again.

“Lux, you can’t be serious right now.” He eyed me, his mouth agape. I bit more furiously at my thumbnail, only to look away once more.

“You and I… _god_ , you and I have been seeing each other for months now. And in that entire time, I never even saw you hanging out with Chelsea. You’re going to believe someone you’re _sort-of-semi_ acquainted with, over me?” He asked, sounding incredibly hurt.

“It’s not that. It’s just… she—she seemed so sincere. I don’t know. She just… you really broke her heart, Louis.” I said, aligning our eyes.

“I know.” He said, dropping his in the same second, looking incredibly remorseful.

 

I watched him carefully. I watched the way his eyes shut tightly; the way he bit at his lip until it turned white; the way he twisted his fingers together. I watched him until his eyes looked up into mine again.

 

“I know, Lux. I know I hurt her. I just… I just don’t know what I can do to make you believe me. I didn’t have sex with her. Not even once. Not even close.” He said with a weighted sigh at the end.

 

For a moment I let it settle – everything Louis said. How entirely fucked up was it that I believed them both when I knew one of them _had_ to be lying?

 

“I believe you.” I told him quietly.

“You do?” He asked hopefully.

“I do.” I told him.

“Lux…” He breathed out through a smile.

“But I need to know why she lied.” I said out loud.

“I’d like to know, too.” Louis nodded.

“I swear to God… I just… I swear to God, Louis. If I find out you _are_ lying…” I said shaking my head lightly.

“Lux, I would never lie to you. Not like that. I would never… _gahh_ , I would never be that heartless.” He added.

“I believe you, Louis.” I told him finally.

“Oh, Lux. That makes me so happy.” He smiled, scooting a little closer to me.

 

His smile faded slightly when I didn’t make a move to make myself more available to him, keeping my arms tightly wrapped around myself.

 

“Could you at least act like you still like me?” He asked, looking slightly worried.

“I _do_ like you.” I told him, looking at him with soft, forgiving eyes. I didn’t know what else to do. I still felt off because of the situation.

“Then could you act like you still _love_ me?” He asked, grabbing my hand that was securely holding my legs to my chest. I let my legs drop down as Louis pulled me to his chest and I wrapped my arms around him.

“I love you, Lux.” He breathed in my ear, kissing the side of my neck.

“I know. I love you, too.” I told him honestly.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He said, squeezing a little tighter.

 

He pulled back slightly to look into my eyes as he pushed back the few strands of hair that had fallen in my eyes.

 

“I was so scared.” He said softly in my ear.

“Of what?” I asked.

“Losing you.” He said sincerely.

 

My eyes widened slightly and for some reason, it was only then in that moment I truly believed his intentions with me were entirely pure. I think in the back of my mind there had always been a nagging feeling he was just in this for fun. Even before everything with Chelsea. I always felt like I was in it more than he was. But I swear, with those words he spoke and the way he was looking at me, he had my complete trust.

 

My face contorted with emotion as my heart seemingly exploded inside my chest. Tears sprung from my eyes as I buried my face into his shirt.

 

“Oh, Lux… Oh, love. What’s the matter?” He asked, wrapping me up tightly in his arms.

 

I couldn’t help the tears and sobs that escaped me. Louis cooed in my ear to get me to calm down, and it worked after a while. I let him hold me for longer than necessary before I stirred.

 

“Are you okay?” He breathed against my temple before placing a kiss there.

“I am now.” I said quietly.

“Good.” He said squeezing me lightly.  

“Lux?” Louis asked.

“Hmm?” I hummed, pulling myself away from his chest to see his face.

“I just… I just really want to kiss you. It’s been days. I just… I really miss you.” He spoke quickly, as if he were scared of me pulling away.

 

I took in a deep breath before a smile completely consumed my face. Louis smiled back just the same, yet his was mixed with a little relief.

 

“Kiss me.” I whispered before biting at my lip.

“Yeah?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yes.” I giggled leaning in just enough to close the gap between us.

 

The kiss was slow and sweet and just the right side of perfect. He let his tongue swipe across my lips and I opened my mouth to his. Our tongues slid together perfectly, and everything was just so right.

 

“How do I feel this way?” I said breaking the kiss.

“What way?” Louis asked looking at me concerned.

“This way. I just… I- you mean so much to me, Louis. So much. I just… I don’t understand it.” I said, completely feeling crazed in the moment.

“I feel that way too.” He smiled at me.

“But… but we’re only seventeen. Is this normal?” I asked looking into his eyes.

“From what I’ve gathered, it’s pretty normal.” He smirked amusingly at me.

“I just… I don’t want to lose you. And when I thought I did… _god_. I just… I was a mess.” I said furrowing my brow in sadness.

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, Lux.” He smiled at me.

“But you are.” I choked out.

“What do you mean?” He asked, furrowing his brow in concern.

“You’re gonna leave me.” I said feeling the sadness hit me like a ton of bricks.

“I’m not, Lux. Why would I leave you?” He asked, confused by my words.

“You’ve said it yourself. The moment you turn eighteen you’re gone. _‘Hopefully across the country’_ – that’s what you said, Louis.” I said as the panic started to make its home in my chest.

“Lux…” Louis breathed out a sigh.

“How long can we ignore it? You’re leaving.” I said.

“We don’t know that for sure. Who knows if I’ll get a scholarship…” He started.

“You’re getting a scholarship, Louis.” I pointed out, directly.

“I… Lux… we don’t have to think about that right now. We’ve got months, okay. Months and months.” He said.

“Less than six months.” I told him.

“Lux…” He sighed.

“It’s breaking my heart.” I admitted.

“Lux, stop right now. Stop, okay. Stop thinking about me leaving. Think about me right now… here – in front of you. I’m here, okay. We don’t have to think about that other stuff. It’s you and me right now. _Right now._ ” He said grabbing my hands in his.

 

I whimpered slightly as I tried to block out the bad and concentrate only on the good – the _right now_.

 

“I just… I love you. I’ve never felt this way in my entire life. I’ve never depended on a person like I do on you. It’s scary.” I said dropping my forehead against his.

“I’m right there with you, Lux. I’ve never had anyone to turn to like I do with you. I don’t ever want to lose you.” He told me, leaning in to leave a kiss on my lips.

“Me neither.” I told him.

“Come here.” He said pulling me into his arms.

 

He laid down on the couch and took me with him. My head lay on his chest as my hand rested on his stomach.

 

I never wanted this to end.  Could we just stay like this forever? Could we just forget the outside world for a while? All I needed was him.

 

I squeezed my eyes tightly together as my mind involuntarily thought ahead to August.

 

“Just hold me forever, Louis.” I breathed.

 

His arms squeezed tightly around me.

 

“Don’t ever let me go.” I told him.

“I won’t.” He told me confidently.

 

 

And I believed him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	22. xChapter 22x

Louis and I didn’t go back to class. We didn’t even go back to the rest of our classes. We skipped school entirely, and we did it right. I couldn’t even fathom pay attention in class after getting him back. I just held him and didn’t let him go for the rest of the afternoon.

 

“You know, I’ve got to get back soon. I’ve got soccer.” Louis said quietly as I listened to his heart beating with my ear against his chest.

 

I groaned, not wanting to leave the happy little world we had created with one another.

 

“Hopefully coach doesn’t get wind that I skipped school. He’d make me run a shit-ton of laps or just plain kick my ass.” Louis chuckled.

“Pretty sure he wouldn’t kick your ass.” I said, smiling at him.

“He might.” Louis laughed.

“Well, we wouldn’t want that.” I said sitting up slightly, looking down at him.

“No. We wouldn’t.” He said.

“I love you, Louis.” I told him sincerely.

“I love you back, Lux.” He replied, letting the smile drop into a look of adoration as his eyes scanned my face. It gave me butterflies – the way he was looking at me.

 

I leaned in giving him a kiss before I sat up completely, letting him do the same.

 

“I’d fancy lying here with you for the rest of the afternoon rather than running drills at soccer practice.” Louis said running his hands through his hair.

“Then why don’t you?” I smiled at him, knowing even if we both wanted it so badly, it was not an option.

“Because coach’ll kick my ass for sure.” He smirked at me.

“Right. Better get up then, baby.” I said patting his knee.

 

I drove Louis back to school right as it was getting out. It was complete madness getting into the parking lot, but luckily I found a parking spot close to the gymnasium. I watched as Louis grabbed his book bag and get out of the car without so much as a look in my direction and it made my heart sink until he nodded for me to get out as well. I bit back a smile as I too got out of the car, thinking about how there were so many people around to see us together. It wasn’t something I sat home at night thinking about. I didn’t care if people knew about my relationship with Louis or not. But for some reason, now after all we had gone through, it felt like maybe some sort of public display would finally validate our relationship. It was stupid to think, but I didn’t even care.

 

Louis grabbed my hands, pulling me flush against him.

 

“Don’t ever scare me like that again.” Louis said.

“Like how?” I asked confused.

“Telling me you don’t want to see me anymore.” He smiled at me.

“Well, don’t let your female followers spread false rumors about you.” I smirked back at him.

 

He rolled his eyes, wrapping me in his arms.

 

“I love you, Lux Lydia Carver.” He told me, nuzzling his nose against mine.

“I love you, Louis William Tomlinson.” I mimicked him. He smiled and shook his head.

“Kiss me before the entire school sees us.” I smiled at him.

“So what if they do.” He said.

“So what if they do.” I smiled, leaning in to kiss him myself. His grasp tightened around me as the kiss deepened.

“I _so_ love you.” He chuckled against my lips.

“I _so_ love you back.” I giggled.

“Good.” He smiled, loosening his grip on me.

“You better go before you’re late for practice and your coach kills you.” I smiled, stepping back from him.

“You’re right. _Eeek_.” He said making a face as he started walking backward toward the school.

“Call me after.” I called to him.

“I will!” He smiled and waved before he turned and jogged into the school.

 

I continued to smile as I watched Louis disappear.

 

“My god, that was beautiful.” I heard Tyler’s voice. I turned to see my best friend walking up to me.

“Ty.” I said, startled by his presence.

“So, I’m guessing you made up?” He smiled at me.

“Ty, I need to talk to you.” I said, as I felt the anger simmering inside of me over what Chelsea had caused.

“What’s going on, chica-babe?” He smiled cheerfully at me.

“Chelsea.” I nearly hissed.

“What about her?” He asked, furrowing his brow.

“She lied. She completely lied to me.” I told him.

“What? About what?” He asked.

“What do you mean ‘about what’? About _everything_ _!_ Louis never slept with her. Not even once.” I told my best friend who looked at me with the most dramatic of faces.

“Nuh-uh!” Tyler gasped.

“He told me everything. He told me they used to hook-up, but it never went that far. He just kind of ended things with her when she started having feelings for him and he didn’t feel the same.” I explained.

“But why would she lie about that? I mean, what does she have to gain?” Tyler asked.

“I don’t know. But she’s lying.” I said matter-of-factly.

“Okay. Don’t get mad at me for suggesting this… but, are you absolutely sure Louis isn’t lying?” Tyler asked, cringing as he said the words.

“He’s not!” I shouted, feeling the anger rise up from inside of me.

“Just… just calm down, Lux. I mean, I just don’t understand why Chelsea would lie about that.” Tyler said, giving me a sympathetic face.

“Louis isn’t lying, Ty. He doesn’t have any reason to lie to me.” I told him.

“Uh, he kind of does. To keep you. That would be his reason, Lux.” Tyler pointed out.

“He isn’t lying. I know him. He’s… he’s not lying. And literally want to claw out Chelsea’s eyes for making it up!” I said, letting my fury out.

 

Never in a million years would I ever initiate a physical fight. It was all just talk. My blood was boiling and I was pissed. I couldn’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

 

“Lux, come on. Just calm down. I’m sure there is an explanation behind this.” Tyler sighed.

“Whatever it is, it won’t be a good one.” I scoffed.

“Why don’t you just talk to Chelsea?” Tyler suggested. I scoffed at the thought.

“I can be the mediator. You know, so you don’t claw out her damn eyes.” Tyler smirked at me, knowing full well I couldn’t even hurt a fly.

“I just want to know why she thinks she has the right to mess with my life. Even if she’s like, a ‘lover scorned’ or whatever, it’s none of her god damn business what we do. I thought she was my friend.” I said.

“Maybe she was just being a friend. Maybe she was trying to prevent you from going through what she did.” Tyler suggested.

“It’s not her place. It’s different with me and Louis! He actually loves me back!” I said feeling incredibly frustrated.

“I know, sweetie. I know.” Tyler said in the soothing way he had.

 

I looked up at Tyler’s sympathetic face and let out a sigh. I felt guilty even raising my voice at him. Tyler was always just trying to help.

 

“I’m sorry.” I said softly.

“No sweat, Luxy. Give me a ride home and I’ll call Chelsea to come over so you two can talk.” Tyler offered.

“Alright.” I replied, before turning toward my car.

 

Tyler called Chelsea on our way back to his house and told her I wanted to talk to her about Louis. He didn’t let on I was angry about the situation. That would only make her run for the hills and Tyler knew it. I needed to get answers out of her, and I needed them as soon as possible.

 

We sat on Tyler’s front steps waiting for her to show. When I saw her car pull up, my stomach tied in knots and I felt the anger in every single nerve in my body.

 

“Just stay calm, Lux.” Tyler told me as we got up and walked toward her.

“Hey.” She smiled apprehensively at us.

“Hey.” Tyler greeted her.

“What uh… what did you want to… you know…” Chelsea asked me awkwardly as she dug her hands into the front pockets of her jeans.

“Tell me exactly what happened between you and Louis.” I said, my tone coming out more hostile than I should have let it.

 

She almost looked frightened by my words.

 

“Look, Lux…” She started, staring down at her feet.

“No, I want you to look me in the eye when you tell me the truth.” I said taking a step forward.

“Lux…” Tyler said, tugging on the hem of my t-shirt, trying to rein me in slightly.

“Look, I’m sorry.” Chelsea said looking into my eyes.

“Sorry for what?” I shot at her.

“When I… when I told you he… that he was using me for sex… I mean… _god_ —” She cut herself off, struggling with her words. I waited patiently to hear the truth come from her lips.

“Louis—he hurt me… a lot.” She said looking incredibly pained.

“It happens, Chelsea. Things don’t work out. That’s life.” I spat out.

“Lux, stop.” Tyler warned me.

“I just… I liked him so much. I mean, right – you understand.” Chelsea said, as tears ravaged her eyes.

“I _love_ him.” I growled.

“Yeah.” She said softly, dropping her gaze again, “I did too.”

“But he didn’t love you back, so you decided to sabotage his relationship with me?” I suggested, angrily.

“No. No, it wasn’t like that. I like you, Lux. I just… I didn’t want him to hurt you, too.” Chelsea defended herself.

“So you lied!?” I yelled.

“I just… it… it came out. And it sounded believable, so I didn’t correct myself.” She said giving me an apologetic look.

“But there was one little thing you didn’t know.” I told her.

“What?” She asked.

“Louis was a virgin before me.” I said.

“He… he was? But… Arianna.” She choked out.

“He never slept with Arianna. He never slept with anyone. You told me he had sex with you and it almost completely ruined us. _You_ almost ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me!” I said, getting angry again.

“Lux, I’m sorry. I- I just, I thought… I just thought he was a bad guy. I mean, he’s best friend with that asshole, Andy! I just… I had a really bad impression of him after everything. I just didn’t want to see you fall into the same mess I had.” She said, apologizing.

“Well, thanks for your concern.” I spat out before walking away toward my car.

“LUX!” Tyler shouted after me.

“Lux, I’m sorry! I really am!” Chelsea called to me.

“I’ve just… I’ve gotta go.” I told them getting into the car.

“Lux! Come back.” Tyler called to me. But I ignore them both.

 

Maybe I’d be able to get over this, but not right now. Not while it was still so fresh in my mind – the pain of thinking I had lost Louis. I couldn’t just forgive and forget.

 

I drove home, completely unaware of the time. When I spotted my dad’s car in the driveway, panic set in.

 

_Fuck_.

 

I was supposed to be grounded. I _was_ grounded.

 

I jogged up to the front door and quietly slipped inside.

 

“Lux.” Dad said, startling the shit out of me.

“Dad! Jesus!” I yelped, holding my hand over my heart.

“Trying to sneak in?” He asked.

“No. I just… I’ll tell you everything. Where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing. I’m already in trouble. And you’re not… you’re going to be so mad at me.” I said shaking my head, realizing the truth was my only saving grace in this clusterfuck.

“What were you doing?” He asked sternly.

 

I sighed as I took off my shoes and walked into the living room.

 

I went into the long explanation of how when I saw Louis sitting in class, I had an honest-to-god, mind-numbing, heart-wrenching panic attack and I just couldn’t do it – I just couldn’t face him. I explained how I ran out of school and Louis followed. And how we had our fight in the parking lot and almost got busted by security so we fled to our house. Dad hadn’t like that idea, by the way, giving me a stern eye and a large sigh of breath from his lungs when I told him. But I reassured him we didn’t _do_ anything while we were here, unless he found copious amounts of cuddling offensive. Dad gave me another stern look with the telling of that line and I tried to chuckle to lighten the mood, but he was still looking at me with that look of disappointment. So I just continued telling him what I needed to say. I told him about meeting up with Tyler after dropping Louis off for soccer practice. And I told him how we went to Tyler’s and I confronted Chelsea about the lie she told me, and I told him all about Louis and Chelsea. I just told him everything. And in the end he didn’t look so entirely angry.

 

He sat silently for a few weighted moments, taking it all in. I bit my lip, hoping to God he wasn’t about to raise my punishment anymore after my entirely honest speech.

 

“Well, I’m glad you and Louis are okay.” He said finally.

“Me too.” I said quietly.

“I’m not happy you skipped school, young lady.” He narrowed his eyes at me.

“It has never happened before and it will never happen again. I promise you.” I told him.

“You’re going to take whatever punishment is dealt to you by the school for missing those classes.” He told me.

“As I should.” I nodded. He nodded too.

“What do you want for dinner?” He asked, changing the subject entirely, throwing me completely off.

“That’s it?” I choked out.

“What’s it?” He asked.

“I’m not… I’m not in any more trouble?” I choked out, knowing I shouldn’t even be questioning it, like an idiot.

“I’m just glad to see you’re not the depressed zombie that has been lurking around here for the past couple of days.” Dad smirked at me.

“Dad…” I sighed.

“No, Lux. It’s not like you were out doing… you know, the stuff you got in trouble for.” Dad said, looking a little uncomfortable.

“No.” I shook my head.

“Stuff you shouldn’t be doing until you’re at least in college.” He scoffed.

“Dad.” I rolled my eyes.

“Just, be careful, Luxy.” He told me for the millionth time.

“I am careful.” I told him.

“Be _carefuller_.” He said with a smirk.

“Dad, that’s not a word.” I giggled.

“Be more careful than you’ve ever been in your entire life.” He wrapped his arm around my neck, squeezing me to him.

“The carefulest.” I smiled at him.

“Good.” He said kissing my forehead.

 

The doorbell rang, breaking us out of our father/daughter bonding.

  
“Did we order pizza?” He joked, getting up from the couch.

“Yeah. And Chinese food.” I giggled.

“Yum!” He said walking toward the door to answer it.

 

I sat back against the couch, letting out a deep breath. My father was too entirely lenient. I knew it, he knew it.

 

“Louis.” I heard my father say.

 

I sat up quickly, at full alert. _Louis?_ I got up and swiftly moved toward the entryway.

 

“Hi, Mr. Carver. I just… I wanted to come here personally to apologize to you.” I heard Louis say and I stopped dead in my tracks.

 

_Perfect boyfriend is perfect._

 

“Apologize for what, Louis?” Dad asked.

“For just… for being irresponsible with Lux.” I heard Louis stammer out.

“Okay.” Dad said.

“I just… I love your daughter, Mr. Carver. I love her so much. She means pretty much everything to me. And I-I only want to make her happy.” Louis told him.

“That’s very nice to hear, Louis.” Dad said.

“I don’t know if you know it, but Lux and I… we made up from our fight.” I heard Louis say.

“Lux told me everything.” Dad nodded.

“Everything. Okay.” Louis said sounding a little taken aback.

“We don’t keep secrets in this house, Louis.” Dad reminded him.

“Good. That’s great. Then it’s no secret how Lux and I feel about each other than.” Louis said.

“No. That’s definitely not a secret.” Dad said.

“And I just want to tell you I don’t take it lightly – the… the sex. I mean, I’m not just… I’m not just sleeping with her for the gratification.” Louis stammered out.

 

I bit my lip listening to my boyfriend spill his guts, very boldly might I add, to my father.

 

“Good to know.” Dad choked out.

“I just… I love her. And I know… I just know I’ll always love her.” Louis said.

“She loves you, too.” Dad said.

“I know.” Louis said.

“Now, while I don’t condone the sexual aspect of your relationship, I do however have a great deal of respect for you, Louis.” Dad said.

“Thank you, Mr. Carver.” Louis said.

“And I’m glad Lux has found such a commendable boy to fall in love with.” Dad said.

“Thank you.” Louis said.

“And Louis – one more thing.” Dad said.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“Call me, Chuck. Please.” Dad smirked at him. Louis let out a laugh.

“I will. I will.” Louis said.

“Alright. Luxy?” Dad called out to me.

 

I stood frozen for a moment.

 

“Yeah, dad?” I choked out.

“You have a suitor at the door.” Dad called out.

 

I stepped into the entryway from the living room, finally stepping into view of Louis. I looked up at him feeling bashful that I had just eavesdropped on their conversation. But it was about me, so really, was it really eavesdropping?

 

“Hi.” I squeaked out, looking at the blushing, smiling boy standing in front of me.

“Hi.” He said back.

“Louis, would you like to stay for dinner? We’re probably going to get some take-out.” Dad asked.

“I’d love to.” He smiled at my father, then back at me.

“Good man. I’ll go get the menus.” Dad said leaving the two of us alone.

 

We stood there staring at each other for a few moments before I couldn’t take it anymore. I pushed forward wrapping my arms around him.

 

“I just love you so much!” I cried out.

“I love you too, Lux.” Louis chuckled, squeezing me tightly in his arms.

 

Never have I ever felt something like this for anyone. And never did I ever want to stop feeling this way for Louis Tomlinson.

 

This boy was my life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


	23. xChapter 23x

My dress was picked out. So were my shoes and jewelry. I did my hair and my makeup. And most importantly, Louis asked me. He asked me to be his date for our senior prom.

 

I hadn’t even thought about going until he asked me. I had never been to a school dance before. I never had a reason to go. But I guess this year I had my reason, and I would be walking arm in arm with him into a ballroom filled with our peers.

 

It had only been a month since our fight, since our misunderstanding caused by Chelsea’s lie. It had been a month since we first walked down the school hallway together holding hands as if it were normal, as if we had done it every day prior to it. There were looks, of course. Kids in high school always gawk and stare. But no one ever said anything. Not to us anyway. That was the other thing about high school. People never say anything to your face. They always said it behind your back. But I didn’t care anymore, because I had Louis. Our love had been tested and it survived. I had him. This was real.

 

When Louis had asked me to prom, I was pretty much speechless. He showed up on my door step with a bouquet of red roses and a smile as wide as the horizon. I had never received flowers before in my life from a boy. Unless you counted my father, and well, in my opinion my father did not count. Louis was so excited when I told him yes. And his excitement definitely rubbed off on me, because that weekend, I found myself dress in a vintage shop while shopping with Tyler.

 

It was a simple red dress with black flowers covering the skirt. Tyler had actually found it and showed it to me. My heart immediately melted for it. But I wasn’t sure I should buy it because it wasn’t the typical prom dress.

 

Tyler just put his hands on his hips and told me, “when have you ever lived a typical life, Lux?” And he was right. This was my dress.

 

“Luxy…” I heard my father’s voice as he knocked on my bedroom door just as I was finishing my preparations with a spritz of my vanilla body mist.

“Yeah, dad.” I turned to look at him.

“Baby, you look absolutely beautiful.” My father beamed at me.

“Thank you. I feel beautiful.” I smiled, running my hands over the smooth fabric of the skirt.

“Louis is going to be speechless.” Dad smiled. I smiled back bashfully.

“Speaking of which, your gentleman caller has arrived.” Dad said stepping out of the doorway to let me pass.

“He’s here?” I choked out.

“He is.” Dad smiled.

 

I don’t know why I was nervous. It was just Louis. He was the boy I loved. But this was all so new to me – dressing up in fancy dresses and dancing around to music I would never listen to in real life. I was just a little anxious.

 

“Okay.” I breathed heavily.

“What are you so nervous for?” Dad chuckled.

“I-I’m not nervous.” I stammered, and Dad eyed me.

“Gahh, I don’t know. It’s just a dance, right?” I smiled as I felt my cheeks begin to blush.

“It’s just a dance.” Dad reassured me.

“Okay. Okay.” I nodded as I slipped past my father.

“Wow, Lux. You look absolutely amazing.” Dad’s girlfriend Julie told me as I made my way down the hallway toward the door.

“Thank you.” I smiled at her.

“Louis’ going to lose his mind.” She winked at me.

“That’s the plan.” I giggled.

“Hey now.” Dad grumbled. And Julie and I giggled more.

“He’s waiting in the living room. I’ve got my camera.” Julie told me.

“Thank you.” I smiled at her as my feet began to take me closer and closer to the boy I loved.

 

As I turned the corner into the living room, Louis was standing there looking out the window. He was wearing a tux, but I didn’t get the full effect of it until he turned toward me.

 

“Lux—”

“Louis—”

 

We were both standing wide-eyed looking at each other.

 

He was wearing an all-black suit – black shirt, black jacket, black pants, black shoes – everything, except for his dark red bow tie. The only hint I had given him about my dress was that it was red and black. He pulled it off perfectly and looked absolutely flawless doing it.

 

“My god…” Louis choked out.

“W-what?” I said looking down at my dress.

“You’re absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.” Louis told me sincerely.

“Stop.” I blushed as he crossed the room toward me.

 

The camera flashed right as Louis grabbed my face in his hands and kissed my lips. I giggled and blushed looking over at Julie who smiled and winked at me again, holding up the camera, ready to take many more.

 

I turned back to Louis and smiled.

 

“This suit… you look amazing.” I told him, grabbing onto the lapels of his jacket.

“You didn’t give me much to go with.” He smirked at me.

“Your taste is impeccable.” I said, letting go of the lapels and smoothing them out with my hands.

“Thank you.” He said leaning up to kiss me.

“I-I got you this.” He said walking over to the table to pick up the corsage he got me.

“Oh my god. You… you didn’t have to do that.” I giggled, covering my mouth. It was sweet. It really was.

“I wanted to.” He smiled at me, placing the small corsage of red roses on my wrist while Julie was snapping away with the camera.

“Thank you.” I smiled, pecking him on the lips.

“Pictures, pictures! Scooch together.” Julie told us.

 

I felt kind of ridiculous that they were making such a big deal about this, but I guess you only do this once. You better do it up right.

 

…

 

“Are you ready?” Louis asked as we walked toward the building where the prom was being held.

“Ready when you are.” I smiled at him.

“I love you.” He told me, leaving a kiss on my lips.

“I love you more.” I nuzzled my nose against his cheek.

“Impossible!” He retorted playfully as we bustled through the front doors along with a bunch of other kids from our school.

 

I was tempted to bypass the professional prom picture altogether, but Louis insisted, so we did it. And it wasn’t as agonizing as I would have thought.

 

Once we got into the ballroom, we were overwhelmed with an over-abundance of familiar faces all disguised in tuxes and frilly dresses. No one looked the way they did in school. It was almost a good thing, because there weren’t many people I cared for in that school. If I could pretend Louis and I were somewhere else, I would.

 

The decorations were hung and people were already spinning around the dance floor to music that was screaming from a large DJ booth on the far end of the room. I almost felt embarrassed for the people dancing, because they all looked ridiculous. But then I saw all the smiling faces and realized it didn’t really matter how ridiculous they looked, only that they were enjoying themselves. And that’s what I wanted to do. I wanted to enjoy myself with Louis. I wanted to lose myself on the dance floor in his arms. I wanted him to spin me and kiss me and hold me, never letting me go.

 

“Come on.” I said grabbing his hand, leading him straight toward the mob of happy dancers.

“Wow.” He chuckled, once our arms were wrapped around each other, swaying to the music.

“What?” I smirked at him.

“I’d have thought you’d be a little bit more apprehensive about getting out here. You surprise me every day, Miss Carver.” He smiled at me.

“Well, I’ve got to keep you on your toes, now don’t I, Mr. Tomlinson?” I smiled back at him.

“I suppose so.” He chuckled.

 

I leaned up placing a kiss on his lips, enjoying myself already.

 

After about an hour of non-stop dancing, slow and fast, Louis pulled me off the floor.

 

“I need to get something to drink. You’re killing me out there.” He smirked at me.

“We don’t have to dance anymore.” I told him with a light shrug.

“No, that’s not what I meant. I just need a break. I love dancing with you.” He told me.

 

He had surprised me with his moves out on the floor. Louis was always the life of the party and got really into it, so much that people wanted to dance with us. I found myself having a blast with people that I usually despised.

 

“You want something to drink?” He asked.

“I’ll just take a water.” I told him.

“Okay.” He nodded.

“Hey, I’m going to make a bathroom run.” I told him before he headed off.

“Yeah. I’ll meet you back here.” He said leaning in to kiss me before he turned and headed toward _concessions_.

 

I weaved my way through the tables, past the ice sculptures, and into the ladies room. I looked in the mirror, fixing my hair and checking my make-up before heading for a stall. Just as I was sitting down, I heard the door open and a group of loud, laughing girls walked in.

 

“Oh my god, but did you see her dress? What? Did she get it at the thrift store?” I heard one of the girls say.

“Oh my god. She totally looks like she’s straight out of the 1950’s? Just, what does he see in her?” Another scoffed. _Catty bitches._

“Yeah. He went from Arianna to _her_. Gross. She’s just so… frumpy.” Another said.

 

My heart began to race. They were talking about me.

 

“He can’t like her. I mean, what does he see in her?” I identified the whiny voice of Caitlyn Ford, the girl who had a monster crush on my boyfriend.

“She probably does his homework and he fake dates her as payment.” And there was Andy’s girlfriend, Josie.

“Oh my god. She probably does! He just needs to stop. Oh my god. We would be so much cuter together.” Caitlyn said.

 

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, cause a relationship is based on how cute you are together.

 

“Do you think they like… _do it_?” The third girl, who could only be their friend Rachel, asked.

“Eww! Gross, Rach! I don’t even want to think about that!” Caitlyn whined.

“But like, they’re always kissing.” Rachel said.

“It’s fake! It’s fake, I swear.” Caitlyn protested.

 

I flushed the toilet and smoothed out my dress. I was fed up with these hell-bitches talking about me. I opened the door and walked out of the stall, staring at all three of them in the mirror. They all noticed me and stared back wide-eyed. I walked up to one of the sinks and washed my hands. I couldn’t wait to be rid of these harpies after high school was over.

 

Right before I walked out the door, I turned to Caitlyn, giving her the once over in the most judgmental way I could muster.

 

“When Louis and I are having sex, I can promise you, he’s _never_ thinking about you.” I told her confidently.

 

Her eyes widened and I gave off a little smirk before I pulled the door open and left the bathroom. I bit at my lip, trying to hold back the shit-eating-grin that was tugging at them.

 

“Why are you so happy?” Louis smirked at me, handing me a bottle of water.

“I just feel really good.” I smiled at him. He smiled widely at me.

“I’m glad.” He told me sincerely.

“Do you wanna get outta here? I’m done with this.” I smiled at him.

“I’m ready when you are.” He smirked at me, using my line from the beginning of the night.

“Let’s go.” I giggled, grabbing his hand, pulling him with me out of the ballroom.

 

The world was ours and we were going to own it. College was on the horizon, but we weren’t going to let it break us. Even if it meant being apart for a while, we were going to make it last. We still had the summer. And we still had us, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This is the dress and tux I imagined when writing their prom:**
> 
> **Follow me on tumblr:  
>  http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/**


	24. xEpiloguex

“Tommo, Tommo, Tommo!” I heard a group of girls screaming from near the executive box where I stood watching my husband play the game he loved.

 

It was true, Louis had turned into somewhat of a sex symbol. Okay, maybe more than _somewhat_. At age twenty-one, he was absolute _hot shit_ in the soccer world – or football, depending on where you lived. He was an ace when it came to the game. And my god, it was one of the sexiest things I had ever seen in my entire life watching him. Every time he scored a goal – hell, even when he came through with an assist it made my entire body tingle. It was all in the way he played the game, the way he moved so fluidly around that field, the way he rose up to become one of the highest scoring players in the college league that got him to where he was today.

At age twenty, with four years of playing for the UCLA _Bruins_ soccer team, Louis had been approached by many different professional soccer teams in the US to play for them. But he knew where his true calling was. It did him great honor to sign a deal with the football team he grew up watching as a boy – the _Doncaster Rovers_.

It was a big decision for me to make the move with him, but I knew I never wanted to part from his side. So I packed up my life in California, along with my life in New Jersey and headed back home with Louis to the UK.

Soon Louis was thrust upon the world doing commercials and advertising, putting him in millions and millions of households by way of television across Europe. But his biggest and _sexiest_ ad endorsement came from _Calvin Klein_ , where they made him an underwear model, sporting nothing but briefs in magazines and even a billboards across London. My god, as if my hormones could handle such a thing.

 

Louis was on fire. He had just scored another goal to add to his statistics.

 

“Oh my God! He’s going to break his shooting record,” Jasmine, Louis’s teammate’s wife, said nudging me.

 

Jasmine had become one of my best friends out of the player’s wives. Her husband Bryce played Goalkeeper on the team and he was _good_ at it.

 

“Jazzy, shhh! You’ll jinx it,” I hushed her, as I held my hands intertwined together in front of my mouth.

“Ah, I can’t help it!” She exclaimed.

 

She was just as jittery as I was. It was an intense game. Louis was two goals away from surpassing the most goals he’d personally made in a game ever. He was currently tied with his previous record – only one goal to go. And subsequently, the team only needed to make one more goal to win the _Football League Cup_.

Who would have thought, that I, Lux Lydia Tomlinson – _formally_ Carver, would have become this dedicated to the game. But after years of watching Louis play, I developed my own love for the game, much to my father and my husband’s delight. Who was I if I didn’t support my husband – or well, my boyfriend back then?

  
We had only gotten married six months ago. As cheesy as it sounds, we wed on Valentine’s Day. It was a simple ceremony – neither Louis nor I had much family. It was pretty much just two best friends getting married with the most minimal of guests and wedding party. My best friend Tyler was my maid-of-honor and Louis’ college dorm mate and best friend Liam was his best man. It didn’t bother me that I was the only female in the wedding party, surrounded by three very handsome men. I had gotten used to the spotlight – what with Louis’ sudden rise to fame. Flash photography – _psshhh_ , bring it on.

All kidding aside, the day I stood in front of my friends, family, and God vowing to love and cherish Louis until death do us part, was the best day of my existence. I would be forever connected to the love of my life. We would always share this life together, through thick and thin. I wasn’t letting him go.

 

“One more goal and this game is over,” Jasmine said, clapping her hands together excitedly.

“Just one more,” I nodded, feeling the anxiety growing inside of me.

 

It was a tied game nearing the end of the second half, and we all knew if _Manchester United_ scored another goal, it would be donezo for the _Rovers_. And they needed to win – they _needed_ to. It was crucial that Louis won tonight. I wanted his spirits to be high.

 

“Lux, they’re going to win. They’ve got to win,” Jasmine said, sounding as if she was reassuring herself as well as she intertwined her arm with mine.

 

I took her other hand in mine and we held each other tightly watching as my husband stood on the field waiting for the ball to come back in play.

 

“Tommo, Tommo, Tommo!” I heard the girls chanting again.

“Come on, Louis. Come on, Louis,” I said under my breath, letting my eyes fall to the floor for a split second. And when I looked up, I saw one of Louis’ mates kick him the ball, almost as if he knew Louis needed to be the one to make that last goal.

“GO TOMMO!” Jasmine shouted. My heart began beating faster and faster as I held my breath watching my husband maneuver the ball down the field, bypassing all the _Manchester_ players who were trying to block him.

“Oh god, Tomlinson! Come on, baby!” Jasmine yelped, bouncing up and down next to me, making my body bob with hers since our arms were connected.

 

My heart was in my throat and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like I needed this win, just as much as the _Rovers_ did.

 

“We’re almost there, baby! COME ON, LOUIS!” Jasmine shouted, as if Louis would be able to hear her from this altitude.

 

_Here we go, baby. This is why you’re the star of the team. MVP, baby. Show them what you’re made of. Bring us that trophy._

 

I swear, when Louis kicked the ball, it was almost as if the entire stadium hushed for a second. Like there was a lingering silence for longer than usual. And I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe.

All that could be heard was the swooshing of the net and then the opposing team’s goalie slamming against the ground as he dove, and missed, the ball.

Within a split second the entire stadium was on their feet, cheering and screaming.

 

“Rovers win! Rovers win!” We heard the announcers yell excitedly.

“Rovers win!” Jasmine yelled, throwing her arms around me tightly.

 

When I pulled out of Jasmine’s happy arms, I turned to watch Louis on the field receive hug after hug from his joyous teammates. The pride that consumed me was my life blood. That was my husband, who single-handedly kept _Manchester_ from winning the _Football League Cup_.

 

_My husband_.

 

I couldn’t wait to throw my arms around him – sweaty or not, I would take him in any form he gave me. But Jasmine and I had been around long enough to know it was almost impossible to get to our husbands right away after a game. There was always press and fans and just overall chaos around them, especially after a win. We would sit and wait. I would sit here like a jittery mess, waiting to hold Louis in my arms, to congratulate him and kiss him and touch him. It would have to wait.

A half an hour later, I was standing outside the team locker room, with the other wives and family members, waiting to be allowed in. The team was going over the win with the press when we were finally let in to see our loved ones. I went straight toward where I knew Louis would be, where he had a number of cameras around him. He was the star of the game after all. He had broken his scoring record and won the game.

 

“Here’s my wife Lux now!” Louis smiled, holding out his arm for me.

 

I smiled and blushed as he pulled me to his side, the cameras focusing on the both of us.

 

“Aw, the newlyweds,” The interviewer cooed.

 

Louis kissed my temple and went back to look at the camera with a huge grin on his face. He was in rare form. He was usually never this giddy, which only meant he had surprised himself with that win.

 

“On the subject of being newlyweds, when can we expect a little Tommo Junior? You know, we’ve got to get the next generation of football greats going soon,” The interviewer asked with a chuckle.

“Oh. Well, I don’t know about that. Right now, we’re just enjoying our time together. Aren’t we, love?” Louis answered, looking over at me.

“Yeah. We’d love to have kids… someday,” I said with a smile as I looked over at Louis.

“But right now, we’re just here, living day by day. It’s the little wins in life that keep us going,” Louis said happily.

“Well, tonight this was a big win! Thank you for your time, Louis,” The interviewer said, shaking his hand.

“You’re welcome. Massive thanks!” Louis said with a laugh before the camera stopped rolling and the interviewer moved on to the next player.

 

Louis turned to me giving me a large smile.

 

“Baby!” He said, pulling me into a massive hug.

“God, I am so proud of you, Louis,” I breathed in his ear as I squeezed him in my arm.

“Thank you, Lux. I love you so much. And it means so much to me that you were here watching,” Louis told me, pulling away to look into my eyes.

“You’ve been saying that since high school,” I pointed out, playfully rolling my eyes.

“And I still mean it,” he said with a sideways smile.

 

I placed my hands on either side of his face and leaned up to leave a kiss on his lips.

 

“You’re truly amazing,” I breathed against his lips before pressing mine to them again.

“So are you,” he said as I pulled back to look in his big blue eyes again.

“Are you able to leave soon?” I asked him.

“I shouldn’t be too long after you,” he told me.

“Good. I’ll be waiting,” I said with a suggestive wink.

“Mmm… this win seems to be _good_ for me in many, many ways,” Louis said, moaning slightly.

“Believe me, it will be,” I said, giving him another kiss.

“Hallelujah,” he said looking up to the ceiling.

“I’ll see you back at the hotel, superstar,” I told him.

“You bet your ass you will,” Louis said, smacking my butt as I turned to leave the locker room.

 

When I heard the suite door open, I was already waiting for Louis in the bedroom. I was certain he would come find me immediately, and did without fail.

 

“Well, hey there, boy,” I smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes went wide when he saw what I was wearing.

“Wow. You look better in that thing than I do,” Louis chuckled.

 

I had on his _Rovers_ football jacket draped loosely on my shoulders, over a very provocative white lace bra and panties set.

 

“Come over here,” I told him.

“Gladly,” he said, closing the gap between us.

 

I stood up, pressing my body against his.

 

“I want you to remember this. I want you to remember every single contour and smooth curve of my body,” I told him in my best seductive tone.

“I would never forget something like that,” he said with an unyielding smile on his face.

“It might get hard to remember…” I said with my own smile.

“What do you mean?” He asked, cocking his head as confusion spread across his face.

 

I bit my lip, holding myself back from letting my smile get any bigger.

 

“Are you going somewhere?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“No, no. I’m not going anywhere,” I answered, lightly shaking my head.

“What’s going on, Lux?” He asked, taking a step back, looking at me puzzled.

 

I grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand toward me, placing it flat across my stomach.

 

“In three months, six months, _nine_ months from now, my body is going to change,” I told him. His eyes widened, comprehending my words.

“You’re—” He choked out.

“I’m pregnant, Louis. We’re going to have a baby,” I said, smiling widely, excited to finally be telling Louis the news I had found out two days earlier. I hadn’t wanted to distract him from this game, so I waited to tell him.

“WHAT!?” Louis chuckled, excitedly.

“We’re having a baby, Louis!” I giggled.

“Oh my god!” He shouted, throwing his arms around me, spinning me around.

 

When he set me back down on my feet, he crashed his lips against mine.

 

“We’re having a baby!” He shouted.

“Are you happy?” I asked, even though I knew the answer already by his actions.

“I am so happy!” Louis laughed, kissing me again.

“Me too, baby,” I giggled.

“Oh my god, come here,” he said, pulling me to his body again, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

 

He kissed my lips and then picked me up, only to lay me down on the bed.

 

“In homage of getting you pregnant, I am going to make love to you all night long,” Louis told me, as he caressed his hand down the length of my body.

“ _Mmm_. I can’t wait,” I moaned.

 

And he did.

 

Making love to only one man for my entire life seemed like a fair trade for having a man as amazing as Louis. He gave me everything I needed and never left me wanting. And that went for every aspect in my life, not just the bedroom.

He was an amazing husband. And when our daughter, Lydia Margaret Tomlinson, named after my late mother and his late grandmother, was born just before our one year wedding anniversary, he became the most amazing father.

Lydia was the light of Louis’ life – his pride and joy. He showed her off to everyone he could.

My favorite time was when I would find Louis holding our little angel in his arms, telling her stories of our life together. I almost felt like I was intruding on daddy/daughter time, but I could never pull myself away. I loved hearing Louis’ re-telling of the tales of our past.

On one particular night, Louis held Lydia in his arms in her nursery, rocking her back and forth in the rocking chair.

 

“Have I ever told you about the time when your mummy and daddy met?” Louis murmured, speaking directly to the infant in his arms.

 

I smiled from the doorway holding Lydia’s bottle I was just about to bring in for her. She was content with her daddy, so I waited. I wanted to hear the story again.

 

“Well, your mummy—oh my goodness, she was so smart. Still is. She still teaches daddy things to this day,” Louis cooed to his daughter. I bit my lip to keep from giggling.

“Mummy was so smart and daddy, well daddy was kind of a slacker,” Louis told her. I shook my head with a smile on my face.

“Daddy had been failing trigonometry. The worst subject in the world. I hope they banish it from the curriculum before you’re forced to take it. But then again, it brought me to your mummy, now didn’t it?” Louis chuckled.

 

It sure did.

 

“Mummy ended up having to teach daddy all about maths. And while she did, daddy had to find a way to make the beautiful tutor girl fall in love with him. Do you know why? I bet you do. Because daddy fancied her quite a lot. Daddy couldn’t stop thinking about her. He loved her and he wanted her to love him back. So daddy did everything he could. But mummy was stubborn, of course,” Louis laughed lightly.

 

I heightened my eyebrows and sent an _‘oh really’_ look to the back of his head.

 

“It took a lot to make mummy fall in love with daddy. But when she did, she fell hard. Do you know why? Because your daddy is irresistible, you know that?” Louis told his daughter.

“Oh really?” I said, finally speaking up from the doorway.

 

Louis quickly looked over at me and laughed.

 

“Filling our daughters head with non-sense,” I laughed.

“Non-sense!?” He scoffed playfully as I walked toward the two loves of my life.

“I’m kidding. Of course you’re irresistible. I’m still here, aren’t I?” I laughed, leaning in to kiss his lips.

 

I placed a kiss on Lydia’s forehead as I handed Louis the bottle of breast milk.

 

“And that has nothing to do with the fact that I am now a multi-millionare?” Louis winked at me.

“That has everything to do with it,” I laughed out loud.

_“You!”_ He said, poking at my stomach.

“Yeah, right. You’re irresistible and I’m in love with you,” I said, leaning in to kiss him again.

“I’m in love with you too, as you quite know,” Louis smiled contently at me.

 

Lydia let out a small cry, having seen the bottle, but was being deprived of it.

 

“Oh my goodness, love. Daddy’s got it, daddy’s got it,” Louis cooed to his little girl as he placed the nipple into her mouth.

“You’re a good daddy,” I smiled at him.

“And you’re an amazing mummy,” he said, smiling up at me.

 

Louis made it to the _Football League Cup_ two more times in a five year period with the _Doncaster Rovers_. They failed to win it the second time around, losing by one point. But the third time they made it, they won by a landslide. Louis retired from football after eight years, having blown out his knee at the age of twenty-eight. But his legacy would live on through the triumphs he amassed through his reign, and the records he broke along the way.

Through every triumph and tribulation, Lydia and I were right there to congratulate Louis along the way. And in late 2016, when we welcome our son, Charles Louis Tomlinson, into our lives, he was right there with us too – the proudest family in the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know less than nothing about soccer/football. So if you do and any of this information is completely wrong, I am regretfully sorry. ;) Also, I am not British, so don't hold that against me or my writing either. Haha.
> 
> I really hope you liked the epilogue and the story as a whole! I am a sucker for happy endings! Let me know what you think. 
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://smile--styles.tumblr.com/


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